Saturday, November 26, 2011
Hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving! It was a great day. I love turkey so much, I think we need a holiday in late February, bringing back the turkey and trimmings. It'd be a nice break in the middle of a long winter, eh?
Tomorrow marks 30 days to go until lil' K's estimated arrival. We go on Tuesday for another ultrasound to see how big she's getting and in what position. She was still measuring 2-3 weeks ahead as of last week, but the midwife said her guess would be an 8-pound baby, but nothing too major. We went to childbirth class last weekend, and it was fine, but a lot less hands on than I imagined... a lot of the info I felt like I could get on the internet.
The nursery is almost ready and I'll have pics up soon! Because I didn't have a shower, I am sticking with the basics to start and seeing what I really need.
I had a talk with one of the paralegals at work and requested to be one of the first to be laid off because it was evident it is coming soon. She agreed and asked when and I said "end of November," she seemed cool with it, but I know I won't know anything until I get the call from my agency. This is obviously preferrable to quitting because I will be eligible for unemployment benefits. In any case, they hope to wrap the major stuff by December 6, so if I have to stay on another week, so be it, though technically it's not in November, like I promised, but please keep sending LAY KRISTINA OFF vibes my way so that I can wrap up as soon as I can.
Here are some informal maternity pics we took on Thanksgiving at 35 weeks. Not a big fan of the recently resurfaced double chin, but they still came out nice:
Tuesday, November 08, 2011
Me at 32 weeks:
Everything is starting to feel a lot more real now. I went to a newborn care and CPR class on Sunday and met some of the most uptight moms imaginable! They looked as though every decision they made was going to be life or death. They shot me and my cup of coffee daggers. Oh well, haters gonna hate. I'm going to a childbirth class next weekend.
The instructor was good though. It was reassuring to know that a lot of it was instinctive and we would find out what was best for us as we went along. Despite that, we got some good pointers and the class was worth it.
I finally realized today that I can't eat whatever I want without repurcussions. I had a gyro for lunch and the heartburn is KILLING me right now. Tums, crackers, nothing is working. Ah well, I had to realize that this whole pregnancy wouldn't be smooth sailing. I'm starting to get super tired very easily and getting up from a chair and walking up stairs isn't as easy as it used to be.
At my OB appointment yesterday, they asked me about the baby's movement again and I burst into tears. I don't know where that came from. I told them that I feel like the lack of symptoms during my pregnancy and not really feeling those baby movements that all the moms I know talk about has made me disconnected from this pregnancy. I confessed that I felt guilty.
So I'm trying to connect as best as I can. I want to talk to her more (now that she can hear!) and sing too.
They told me that my tummy was measuring 2-3 weeks ahead of schedule again so they're going to send me for an ultrasound at 36 weeks (on my birthday!). I was measuring exact until the last appointment (when I finally feel like I popped to noticibly pregnant!) I'm excited to be able to peek at lil' K again (I didn't think I'd be getting any more ultrasounds due to being such a normal pregnancy) but I'm also nervous. I hope they don't say she's too big and start pushing for an induction or c-section. I know my mind is racing and speculating, but that's what I'm thinking! Of course, it could just mean that this is a growth spurt. My weight gain hasn't been great, but I've been hiding it really well! LOL. Everyone tells me how great it is that I haven't gained much weight, and I just smile and nod.... hehe.
This weekend we will put together the office and treadmill room! And then we can finally start focusing on the nursery! I need to get a bag packed too.... Ahhh, it's coming oh so quickly.
Thanks for all of the positive comments on my "nut up" blog. The job that I want to quit doesn't provide maternity/sick/disability leave. It's a temp job. I've been fortunate enough in this rough economy to find a steady string of contract attorney jobs since January 2008. I know others have not been as lucky. By living frugally and having the help of family, it's allowed me to pay down a chunk of student loans and buy a rental property. I'm thankful that I get health insurance through my husband's employer. But I can't see paying the extraordinary child care costs in Massachusetts (about $500 a week) to stay at a job I hate while my baby is with strangers. If I had any respect, benefits, or possibility of upward mobility or education, then I totally would. But that's not the case. I opened my own practice in May 2009 and found Sparkpeople a month later. I had a huge entrepreneurial and self-betterment spirit back then, but I still needed the economic stability that the temp jobs provided so the solo practice became a side project. I pick up a few cases a year, but I really need to focus solely on that if I'm going to have any success. So the plan is to stay home with lil' K and relaunch the business for the first few months and then either that will work or I'll find another job. And I want to FINISH the book and the screenplay I am writing.
Thursday, October 27, 2011
Wow, definitely starting to feel like the home stretch! Two months from today is my due date.
Well, it finally happened. I woke up on Tuesday and I was like, whoa, everything seems a ton more difficult. 31 weeks in. How lucky am I, huh? My lower back was killing me and walking down the street was a chore. I felt a lot of pressure in my abdomen and had a hard time getting comfortable all day long.
I think lil' K had a growth spurt this past week, because pop goes the belly! Jon put his head on my tummy yesterday and she kicked him in the head!
I visit my OB office every two weeks now and at this last visit they told me my stomach was measuring two weeks ahead, which is a big difference from every other visit where I was "right on schedule." Now that probably means nothing, but if I could wave my magic wand, I would definitely like to have this baby BEFORE Christmas, and barring that, at least in 2011! So fingers crossed even though I know I have absolutely no control over this, LOL.
Work is getting more and more difficult too. Long story short, I got into a confrontation with an employee who used profane language in front of me. Basically, he called all temporary employees at the firm (which of course, includes me) "f-ing animals." Yeah, I know. Well, I escalated it and my supervisors have been more attentive than I thought they would be, so we shall see what happens. Completely unacceptable on so many levels, and the tension between perm employees and temp attorneys has been building and building for months and months. But the environment has become so toxic that I really can't imagine staying there too much longer. They want us to work long hours to get this done, but they won't pay OT, they won't give us real desks, and frankly, they don't give us respect.
And the house. Still waiting on them to close up a wall so we can paint the room. Still gotta straighten out the back bedroom after we consolidated furniture so that the baby's room can be JUST the baby's room. Yup, still gotta get everything sorted in the nursery. Oh yeah, there's still a ton of old furniture in my garage that I'm trying to sell/donate. All of my free time is spent on these projects and part of me is like "OMG, HTF am I going to do all this plus care for a needy crying newborn??!" But I am hoping I can get a lot of stuff done before Thanksgiving and that this "setting up house" stage can be sorta kinda mostly complete?
With all this, our little getaway to the White Mountains/Lakes was such a great respite.
What did we do? Um, we drove around, hiked a bit, watched a movie, ate a lot. And napped! Oh, the bed at the B&B was so comfy and I NEVER take naps, but I took a nap every day and it was the most glorious thing ever. I woke up all refreshed and ready for dinner. Miraculous.
Of course, now I'm getting over a nasty cold from last week, so the fatigue has knocked me for a loop again.
OH! And I got a treadmill! It's my birthday/Christmas present. Yes, my birthday is a month away and Christmas is two months away, but they were on a HUGE sale and I had a coupon, so we just went ahead and did it. Yes, it's still the dreadmill. But I know I'm going to need it to get this baby weight off and to get back to running during a long, cold winter.
I just can't wait to hold my little girl!
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