KARVY09   39,391
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This One Goes Out to Those Who Went Away

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

Still kissing!
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I've been doing well. Been consistent with my exercise and true to my promise to track on the weekdays. I logged two 5K runs last week. Again, this month as a part of my KISS challenge, I'm trying not to worry as much about the numbers, where in the past, I'd be really angry with myself if I had a 1800 calorie day versus a 1400 calorie one. I lost 3 lbs last week, which is a good start at ridding myself of this bloat. That being said, I'm not perfect. I drank a lot of wine at a girls' night on Saturday night. I'm still learning to forgive myself for not being perfect while not going off the deep end either.

On Friday, my best friend called me and gave me some news. Her friend in her PhD program just started dating a new guy... my ex-boyfriend. It was her birthday party that night and she was going and would probably see my ex. I was wondering when the ex would come into the picture because they're both studying in the same small city and I figured they'd cross paths at some point. It took over 2 years, but it happened.

He was my first REAL boyfriend and we dated almost 3 years during college and the year afterwards. He was 2 years younger than me, so when I moved off-campus and started working, he was still living the college life. I could go to bars. He couldn't. We drifted apart. Looking back on it, it was pretty inevitable and we should have just ended it maturely and calmly but being 20 and 22, we were anything but that. I started getting paranoid. He was interested in another girl. He came up to Boston and broke up with me in the train station parking lot the day before my birthday and refused to let me take him for coffee to talk it over. It deteriorated from there. I wanted nothing more for him to be miserable and alone, just the way I felt, but I knew he had another girl waiting in the wings. I was convinced that I would never find anyone else. He had a lot of my things and furniture in his dorm, so my best friend and I went down to retrieve them one weekend. She was to go in and ask him to take a walk while we got my things out of there. He refused to leave. Looking back, I said some of the meanest stuff to him I probably could have, but I wanted to hurt him. Even though I was overdramatic, I was experiencing such indescribable genuine heartbreak.

Time of course, healed the wounds and of course, there were other guys. But this guy was such an asshole to me that I never looked him up again or anything. I heard through the grapevine that he was still with the girl he broke up with me for many, many years later.

So my best friend went to the party, exchanged a bit of chit-chat and that was it.

Yesterday, he instant messaged me. I thought about signing off, but I didn't. I thought about saying something mean that I'd always regretted not saying to him, but I didn't.

After a few pleasantries, it struck me that he was the SAME EXACT GUY. I also realized that he remembered every single detail of our relationship, but I couldn't. He asked after members of my family and I struggled to remember his. He admitted that he had "Facebook/blog stalked me for years." He said he often posted lyrics to my favorite songs in the comments of my blogs when he thought I was having a tough time. He knew I was a lawyer and that I was married, etc. Kinda creepy, but I guess it goes with the times?

And he apologized. I actually believed it was sincere. After all, if he didn't feel bad about what he did, would he have been "stalking" me for years? I told him the train station parking lot story was a good one to tell whenever the "bad breakup" stories start flowing. I told him that I often pick up my husband from that same train station and my face lights up and we share a kiss and sometimes it strikes me how much happier I am right now, in that same spot where I bawled my eyes out over 7 years ago.

It also struck me: He was in the same place. Like with me, he "drifted apart" from the girlfriend (after SIX years!) and they were at the point when they were going to get married or not, and then not (this is boy code for he didn't want to get married) she got married nine months later to another guy. He is still studying. Still in school. Still dating. Stagnant. Stagnant Stagnant.

It dawned on me that any residual anger I had toward him (yes, there was still anger there even 7 years later) completely disappeared after that conversation. He had come into my life for a reason (to teach me that I COULD be attractive to a guy and I COULD sustain a relationship) and he had left it. And if he hadn't left me, would I be there to stagnate along with him? What amazing experiences and people would I have missed out on?

Anyways, lest you think that this story is completely unrelated to weight loss, I realized how pitiful of a person I was back then, and how I truly in my heart believed that this college relationship, RIP age 22, was the end of things for me. Because I was fat, because I felt that I had stumbled upon the one guy who didn't care about my weight.

How sad. I wish I could go back and tell that girl everything I've learned since my early 20s.

So the ex asked if he could contact me again and I said "sure," though I really have no interest or desire in speaking to him again. That conversation served its purpose, I think. It's enough.

This one goes out to those who went away.

Thanks for teaching me something.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DASH2011 3/27/2011 7:12PM

    this blog helps me more than anything else i have ever encountered on this site. i know i have commented before, but i have it bookmarked, and reread it from time to time.

thanks karv.

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LDY_ALI_79 2/15/2011 10:07AM

    emoticon Every girl can relate to this blog! Thanks for sharing! emoticon

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WENDYKAT 2/15/2011 6:44AM

    Loved this post!

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REDLACED 2/14/2011 6:01PM

    Great blog, very insightful!

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BHANSON6509 2/14/2011 9:52AM

    I can relate to this! I had a similar experience and I know that I'm in such a better place now. I am so lucky and blessed with all the fantastic things in my life. That's for sharing your story.

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CBACH71 2/13/2011 3:58PM

    I too wish I could go back to the girl I was all those years ago and talk to her and tell her everything was going to be alright. My mom tried to tell me years ago that this too shall pass and she was certainly right.

I'm glad you were able to close the door on those feelings.

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NANASAMM 2/13/2011 2:38PM

    Things happen for a reason. It's amazing how maturity grows on us slowly without us noticing then all of a sudden something or someone is there to show us how much we have learned and matured.

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REDDIRTRUNNER 2/13/2011 11:54AM

    What a great story! Thanks for sharing! This has a lot to do with our weight loss journeys. our relationships, our emotional tie ups, our irrational feelings of desperation, all of our what-ifs...I have one of those past what if exes that I never had that sense of closure with. I just know that some day we will have that & I will be able to forgive and forget..move on..

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LOOKY-LOU 2/12/2011 12:24PM

    Loved your blog...reminders of my younger self are good! and of course the Garth Brooks song "Unanswered Prayers!" Nice to think that maybe bad relationships were there for a reason!

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MARIE_S 2/11/2011 11:34AM

    I'm so happy for you getting that great closure, even so many years later. There's nothing quite like it.
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SUPERFAN99 2/11/2011 9:14AM

    Fantastic blog. Very stressful day, but I'm glad I stopped to read it.

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GEOLOGY_ROCKS 2/11/2011 1:42AM

    This is a wonderful blog. It hit home. Thank you. :)

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FARFROMASAINT 2/11/2011 12:21AM

    emoticon

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HOWLERMOM 2/11/2011 12:08AM

    Wonderful blog and thanks for sharing it -- I for one think you are pretty brave to probe all those old pretty deep scars. Sure it helps that you have a wonderful relationship and have done some incredible growing since that fateful date, but still you proved to yourself that you are over it and have moved on in addition to your other accomplishments. Brava!! emoticon

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DASH2011 2/10/2011 10:05PM

    Thank you. THANK YOU.

Because I was fat, because I felt that I had stumbled upon the one guy who didn't care about my weight.

He had come into my life for a reason (to teach me that I COULD be attractive to a guy and I COULD sustain a relationship) and he had left it.


THIS IS EXACTLY (UN)BELIEVABLY WHAT I HAVE BEEN STRUGGLING WITH.

THANK YOU.


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DRAYRAY 2/10/2011 6:30PM

    I loved this post and I agreed with the others, especially the RIP 22 part.

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JENMC9 2/10/2011 6:17PM

    I LOVE this blog! Thanks for sharing. I think a lot of self esteem issues can come from relationships or past relationships. Mine did too. From someone 7-8 years ago too and I have just recently realized that it was all a purpose.
Again thanks for sharing!!

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GRACEISENUF 2/10/2011 3:44PM

    The ending to your story is the best part! You and your sweet hubby..TRULY HAPPY!

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REJ7777 2/10/2011 3:43PM

    Glad you responded to that messaged text. Now you are truly free! emoticon

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SHAE777 2/10/2011 3:19PM

  Great post!

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DEDECARL 2/10/2011 2:49PM

    Good for you.....don't you feel proud of yourself in so MANY ways. Continue to go forth and conquer!

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DOGSHOETAT 2/10/2011 2:22PM

    Great post!

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MONIKAJ2 2/10/2011 1:27PM

    Great post! :-)

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MUSIKGIRL 2/10/2011 1:18PM

  emoticon emoticon

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MAIA2011 2/10/2011 1:06PM

    *my face lights up and we share a kiss and sometimes it strikes me how much happier I am right now, in that same spot where I bawled my eyes out over 7 years ago*


I'm late here but:

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PATTILYNN224 2/10/2011 12:54PM

    hmm. I like the RIP 22 as well. I think after reading this I need to be working on RIPing the last 7 years. Time to move on. Thanks for sharing such a personal time in your life.

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LEGGINS 2/10/2011 12:18PM

    emoticon .....great post...at times we need these moments even if it stir up bad memories...INHALE.....EXHALE.... doesn't it feel good.

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ANDRAYAYA 2/10/2011 11:32AM

    Enjoyed your blog!!

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JLEMUS1 2/10/2011 11:10AM

    Awesome blog this goes for both spark sisters and brothers!!! Thanks so much!!

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JMMOVINON 2/10/2011 10:50AM

  Awesome blog

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TOYOUBETHEGLORY 2/10/2011 10:49AM

    Love this blog!!! Thanks for sharing this.

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RUNNINGNP2B 2/10/2011 10:39AM

    Love it Karv. It's amazing how the heartbreak comes back to you, and you relive certain moments, and then you wonder - how would my life be different if I hadn't gone through that terrible time? I'm happy for you girl.

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FLUTTER-BY)L( 2/10/2011 10:25AM

    Loved this blog. I really think that i need to learn to let myself be pitiful sometimes to get to the stronger wonderful times.

It is great that you are realizing that. Thanks for writing this.

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ZIPLOCK 2/10/2011 10:25AM

    Really - this is a great reminder of how far we've all come. And boy... I'm with you on if I could take the knowledge I have now and go back... I'd have life by the horns. Maybe. LOL

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NICHGATE 2/10/2011 10:11AM

    RIP 22... I like that part. We all look back and wonder or not so much about what might have been...You seem to be so much stronger now. And that is something to be very proud of!

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FITTINGIN130 2/10/2011 10:11AM

    I needed this reminder. Thank you so much.

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NIKKIG3 2/10/2011 9:57AM

    This was a great post! I also have some "ex" friends that fall into this catogory.

Love this post...for those of us that do evolve.. bravo!!!

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BETHJ423 2/10/2011 9:53AM

    great blog! congratulations on letting go, and taking lessons from your experience.

Continued success!

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MCJULIEO 2/10/2011 9:34AM

    Peace with oneself is a wonderful thing.
Thanks for the blog.

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WORKINGSTIFF 2/10/2011 8:44AM

    Nope-you weren't a "pitiful" person back then. You were who you were, and it's part of who you are now because growing up and growing mature is (hopefully) part of the process.

You could not appreciate the beauty of your current relationship had you not gone through what you did in the former relationship.

Loved the blog!

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KATIE2POINT0 2/10/2011 8:40AM

    Awww....such a good blog. There is nothing better than finally healing and being able to look back and see why things happened the way they did... usually because they were suppose to and you're all the better for it. I'm glad he instant messaged you, now you can just let that last little bit of anger go, and how good will that feel?!

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SHUPER5 2/10/2011 7:49AM

    emoticon

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MARIAND123 2/9/2011 9:44PM

    now that you have had this conversation to realize how fortunate you are with your husband. Delete the im next time. Garth Brooks has a great song. "Thank God for unanswered prayers" I pray you and your wonderful husband have a great valentines day.

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STLRZGRRL 2/9/2011 8:48PM

    Aw, Kristina... you are so so so so so SO smart, Woman...

You know the part in Thelma And Louise where our heroines are looking at Brad Pitt's ass in the rear view mirror after Thelma got what SHE needed to learn from the previous evening?

Susan Sarandon says, "I LOVE to watch 'em walk away..."

How true is that (on so many levels) and I have said it over and over in the years since...

Short relationships CAN be successful ones... especially if you learn to LOVE to watch them walk away...
MWAH!


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YINYANGSJM 2/9/2011 6:59PM

    Great blog!!!!! Isn't it weird to think about how differently things could've gone in our lives. Just one little decision can make such a big difference. I'm starting to realize that I can't regret choices I've made, I just need to learn from them and move on. I wouldn't be the person I am today otherwise. Congrats on the 3 lbs down...sounds like KISSing is working great for you :)

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XHOOSIERLOSER 2/9/2011 6:59PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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KATISONIT 2/9/2011 5:51PM

    Wow.
You have no idea how personally you touched me with this blog. I am currently going through the aftermath of a similar situation, and even if I never get this type of closure directly from my ex, I can learn the needed lessons vicariously through you.

Body/Personal images and relationships do go hand in hand; if you can't find reasons to love yourself, it is basically a no-go that you will ever be satisfied sharing your life with someone else.

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SPUNKYDUCKY 2/9/2011 5:29PM

    Oh and congrats on 3lbs down. I am nearly Onederland again - give it another 2 weeks tops. It will take me another month to undo the other 8 lbs...you know what - I've gotten nothing but time and energy..

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SPUNKYDUCKY 2/9/2011 5:27PM

    I really enjoyed this blog, because for those of us who DO evolve, I think it is really helpful to look back at how different we are as people. I can't imagine what it feels like to be someone who is stuck. I am glad he went away.

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ALOFA0509 2/9/2011 5:18PM

    emoticon

Your a Rock Star!!!!

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Last Year's Goals Are This Year's Reality

Tuesday, January 04, 2011

Writing out this blog has been a wake-up call.

I've been kinda down about how 2010 ended that I forgot that I was in the same spot last January when I wrote this list of goals, feeling a little lost and down despite some amazing progress.

Can I say?

It's not all about weight loss?

OK, I will. IT'S NOT ALL ABOUT WEIGHT LOSS!!!!

When you don't count strictly pounds, last year's goals are this years reality.

So to recap...

12 HEALTH GOALS FOR 2010:

1. Lose 70 pounds and reach goal weight by November 30, 2010 (my 30th birthday).
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I lost about 40 pounds this year, which is still a number I can be proud of, especially when you consider I lost pretty much all of that number in eight months.


2. Weigh under 200 pounds by April 1, 2010.
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I did this by April 15th! Onederland rocks. I highly recommend it.


3. Continue with my running and run at least two 5K road races in Spring, a 10K in Summer, and a half marathon in Autumn.
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Yep, yep. I ran two road races in spring, a 10K in summer and a half marathon in autumn. Writing that makes me feel even more proud. I did everything I set out to!


4. Complete a sub-30 minute 5K
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OK, my PR is now 30:48. But I'm counting it, because here is what I wrote in January 2010: "I was torn whether to include this one, but DAPHNERUNNING convinced me that a 10-minute mile won't seem so impossible once we shed 40 more pounds or so. My PR is just a hair under 40 minutes at 39:45." So it might not be sub-30, everything I said back then came true (I lost 40 lbs and ran a sub-10-minute mile for my 5K) so damnit, it's a MET GOAL!


5. Complete a sprint-distance triathlon in Summer
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I decided to do a duathlon instead because I really wasn't feeling training for an open-water swim. It was a great experience and I really enjoyed it.


6. Find a new gym with more amenities and try out personal training
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I love my new gym and it's been a great investment. I don't feel like it's a social club or that I'm getting ogled by old guys. I love the classes and I love how convenient it is. OK, one more time: LOVE!


7. Try new classes, exercises, and sports (A short list: Kickboxing, basketball, hiking, skiing (I'm ashamed I live in New England and am such a crappy skiier), ice skating, yoga, swimming, biking, and spinning.
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OMG, I just read that and I can't believe I did every single thing on that list, PLUS MORE! I also tried softball and I fell in love with quite a few things on that list (hiking, ice skating, kickboxing and skiing)!


8. Take my vitamin and drink my water!!!
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Kinda the same old story here. I'm really good at this during spring, summer and fall and then I crap out in the winter and really have to force myself to drink it.


9. Try one new healthy recipe per week.
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I didn't really keep strict track of it, but I estimate I came up with about 30 new healthy recipes, so that's pretty good!


10. Commit to doing at least Wii exercise or a Jillian Michaels DVD on non-gym days. Commit to doing either gym or strength training 2-3 times per week.
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Again, this was a great goal for winter. I definitely did this last winter before I joined the great gym and afterwards I was going to the gym almost everyday so this didn't become as necessary. But I want to get back to it now that I'm reading this, so yay for that!


11. 20100 Fitness Minutes in 2010 (The number seems about right. And it's cute because it's close to 2010!)
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26,025 fitness minutes despite fizzling out in November and December. Aw, yeah.


12. At least 500 miles/10 miles per week run in 2010
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I ran at least 600 miles this year (the ones I tracked). Watch me run, suckas!


TOP 4 PERSONAL GOALS:

1. Dedicate more time and effort to my business.
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I was still paralyzed with fear (or seduced by easy money?) this year when it came to my business and this is the one goal where I didn't dedicate enough time and effort. It's clear that this personal goal is my Achilles heel and I need to confront it head on this year.


2. Learn patience
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Running helped me with patience. I started 2010 with temper tantrums over small things and dealing with a lot of hard life stuff (aging grandparents with short memories) has definitely helped me keep things into perspective. I realized I met this goal in August and wrote a blog about it: www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=3551248



3. Keep saving money
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It was a good year for saving money. The purchase of our home and the rent money has really helped. We were able to travel to Vegas for my 30th birthday and have a truly awesome time.


4. Keep writing!
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I did this much more in 2010 including working on Running While Chunky (which I hope to finish by spring) and blogging and diarying my feelings and thoughts day-to-day. It's been such a blessing to do something that I love and to share that joy with all of you.


ONWARD!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LUCKYDOGFARM 1/10/2011 10:56PM

    Karvy, i love your goals and how you met and/or justified them. i hope i do so well on my goals. this is the first real goal setting i have done on Spark, other than saying how much weight i wanted to lose!

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SMYGIRL 1/8/2011 12:25AM

    I am so motivated by how goal oriented you are! This is such an inspiration - and truly something to be pleased with - even when there are minor setbacks, looking at the whole picture is wonderful!!

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VIBRANTVIC 1/6/2011 12:05PM

    Wonderful accomplishments, doesn't a new year always feel ripe with new possibilities? emoticon Proud of you!

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ANEPANALIPTI 1/6/2011 3:29AM

    A freakin MAZING

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ANNE7X7 1/5/2011 10:17AM

    You ROCKED 2010 girl!!! You have so much to be proud of!!!

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RUNNER4LIFE08 1/5/2011 9:57AM

    2010 was a good year for you and 2011 will be even better!

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CHICAT63 1/5/2011 9:34AM

    What a year 2010 has been mon amie, and 2011 will bring you even more, all the best. Bisous, Josée

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PATRICIA4472 1/5/2011 6:14AM

    I loved your blog and it helped me remember some things about the past six months and what I've accomplished. So, thanks for that!

You definitely had GOALS MET - Wow! Look at all you did in your life in 2010. It's a beautiful thing!

I also was helped by your phrase "I pretty much crapped out in winter." Yup. Gotta notice the patterns... Thanks for that, too!

And now, on to 2011 and meeting each new day!

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KATHLOW 1/5/2011 4:21AM

    i am sooo proud of you!

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DRB13_1 1/5/2011 1:58AM

    Another GREAT blog!
I'm not only happy you met your goals emoticon
but that you've given the rest of us a blueprint to follow -
you set SUCH a good example!
Take home lesson:
Follow your bliss, try new things, celebrate -
and continue to amaze even yourself! emoticon

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GETFIT2LIVE 1/5/2011 1:20AM

    You did AWESOME in 2010 and have a whole bunch to be proud of! Thanks for helping make running a reality in my life. It may not have been one of your goals, but you've helped a whole bunch of us believe that it's possible to become a runner without waiting for 'someday when I'm thin.' .

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HUGMONKEYMOM 1/4/2011 11:35PM

    So happy for you. Thank you for making me smile.

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FORMERFATGIRL 1/4/2011 11:16PM

    I am blown away with how many of your goals you were able to meet. Those were pretty lofty. What a great accomplishment. So proud of you! May 2011 be amazing as well!

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FOXXYROXXYD 1/4/2011 10:57PM

    You are FREAKIN' AWESOME! Congrats on a FABULOUS year and Onward to an amazing 2011!!!

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PAPPHEM 1/4/2011 10:42PM

    Wow, that's really a year to be proud of! Even if you did slack off towards the end, look how much you've accomplished! I'm going to have to steal some of your running goals for this year to help me. Hope 2011 is as successful for you!

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ROOT4HOME 1/4/2011 10:35PM

    WTG on having such an AMAZING year in 2010!!! emoticon

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KDONOVAN70 1/4/2011 10:24PM

    You did fantastic in 2010. Can't wait to see what happens in 2011. Cutting 10 min on a 5k is Awesome. You give me hope.

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IMSMILEY88 1/4/2011 10:11PM

    Wow! You had a WONDERFUL 2010!!! Look how far you've come?!? Even without meeting every single goal.

And, you've challenged me. My last 5K (October) was 37:48. I was hoping to just get under 35 minutes 'some day.' Could I really run a 10 min/mile??? And do it for 3.1 miles??? Well, if you can do it, I think I can do it can! (Though I'm sitting her telling myself 'no way!') If I do it, I'll give you the credit for sparking me. emoticon

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DAVEW175 1/4/2011 7:42PM

    Wow, what a year!

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HOPEFULHIPPO 1/4/2011 6:44PM

    look at all those check marks. and you were gonna be down about t2010 :o) You totally rocked it and I can't wait to see what you will inspire in 2011.

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LLBEAN75 1/4/2011 5:47PM

    That is freaking amazing that you shaved 10 minutes off your 5K time this past year! That gives me hope that I can get faster as well in 2011 as I start half mary training!

You ROCK. Keep up the great work chica.

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KAYALI 1/4/2011 5:33PM

    What an inspiration for reaching the majority of your goals!!! emoticon

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SEATTLESIMS 1/4/2011 5:09PM

    Wow you rocked the goals!! Good for you! Glad this exercise has helped turn your outlook around!

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JENN26POINT2 1/4/2011 4:55PM

    Fantastic! This is why you're an inspiration to so many of us!

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CLALIZ 1/4/2011 4:53PM

    OMG! This is awesome, just look at home much you have accomplished!!!
I am so proud of you, just emoticon
2010 was a great year for you, there were some things that didn't go as planned and other sad things but you have done so much, not to mention what a great inspiration you are to some of us emoticon

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BLYNN710 1/4/2011 4:45PM

    You are not only amazing but also an inspiration. I have a feeling that 2011 is going to be a wonderful year for you.

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CHAOTICMOM4 1/4/2011 4:44PM

    What a great year, you've come so far and have so much to look forward to. Congrats!


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KAISERSOZE 1/4/2011 4:36PM

    You are amazing! Just thought you should know.

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COOLCUKE 1/4/2011 4:34PM

    wow, great job! good for you! look out 2011!!!



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AMLYST 1/4/2011 4:33PM

    You should feel AWESOME about your accomplishments! Those are so Amazing! Even if you were only counting a weight loss goal . . .40 pounds in one year is SO GREAT!

Congratulations for your accomplishments. What in the world could your 2011 goals be?

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NATPLUMMER 1/4/2011 4:30PM

    You totally rocked 2010!!!
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TIGERJANE 1/4/2011 4:29PM

    Wow, you had one hell of a year!!! You should absolutely look at this whenever you're feeling down, because you accomplished sooooo much - seriously. Makes me feel damn lazy, lol. Can we say "overachiever"??

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CALLIKIA 1/4/2011 4:21PM

    It's not a surprise to me that you had such an amazing 2010...I'm just glad you're recognizing it as well! You have done amazing things, and will continue to do amazing things because, well, you ARE amazing! What else can you do? ;)

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CHANGINGMORGAN 1/4/2011 4:20PM

    Wonderful achievements! You are a rockstar and an inspiration!

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SEAWAVE 1/4/2011 4:17PM

    Wow - when you see it all in one place like that... Do you realize what a great year you had in 2010??? All your hard owrk really paid off, and this year, it's just going to get better for you!
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FANGLE 1/4/2011 4:14PM

    Amazing. I need to adopt your attitude and gain your insight.

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LAURIETAIT 1/4/2011 4:10PM

    You have had a stellar year! Being able to look back at your written goals is great. I think we often tend to forget our successes and focus on the things we failed to achieve. Hope 2011 is just as exciting and rewarding as 2010!
emoticon

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VALERIENEAL 1/4/2011 4:09PM

    I don't drink as much in the winter either, but herbal tea (with stevia or plain) count as water, and I also keep lemon or lime juice on hand. In the summer I add some stevia to my lemon or lime (or both) water and have lemon aide!!!

WAY TO GO on meeting your goals and what an accomplishment! You are an inspiration!

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IBSHAUN 1/4/2011 4:05PM

    Wow- What a great year 2010 was! Imagine what 2011 is going to be for you? Great list.

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HEALTHYELEPHANT 1/4/2011 4:04PM

    Um, you're sort of a giant rock star. :) Go on with your bad self.... :)

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WILLIAMV3 1/4/2011 4:02PM

    Sounds like you totally rocked 2010 girl! You should be very proud of these accomplishments. emoticon

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ASIAMORA 1/4/2011 4:01PM

    You did great this past year. So proud of you. I loved your running while chunky blog writings by the way.

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JOPAPGH 1/4/2011 4:01PM

    What an amazing 2010! Hope 2011 is as rewarding for you!

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YOOVIE 1/4/2011 3:59PM

    rock on!!!!!!!

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PINKCOCONUT 1/4/2011 3:55PM

    You are AMAZING! I know I tell you all the time but I shall continue to do so because I like to tell the truth! You accomplished SO much this year and will continue to build upon that this year! Can't wait to see how it all goes down!!!

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HEALTH-E-CLARE 1/4/2011 3:31PM

    Sounds like a great year was had by you! Keep it up in 2011, and there is no telling where you'll end up.

Thanks for sharing! Let's rock 2011

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GFMAMA888 1/4/2011 3:30PM

    Great blog! Great to see how far you've come :)

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STORMTMB 1/4/2011 3:25PM

    Totally awesome. You inspire me over and over again.

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MBSHAZZER 1/4/2011 3:25PM

    I feel like it's so much healthier and more rewarding when one focuses on non-scale victories. My BF is going through this right now. He's losing weight slowly and I keep pointing out that he's learned to have fun without drinking, that he's sleeping better, has more energy from exercising so consistently, etc. etc. You've done such an incredible job reaching your goals! And it's good to not make all of them. If you do, you've set the bar too low!

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AMOHAME2 1/4/2011 3:20PM

    How amazing to be able to look back on a year of goals and see just how many of them you met!! That is truly amazing and an inspiration for my year to come!!

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

2011 Will Be a Year

Sunday, January 02, 2011

Did ya miss me?

I've been in and out on SparkPeople for the last couple of weeks, but I'll be honest, I did enjoy the break. And no, the holidays did not break me, but I am definitely up some pounds. I will weigh in next week and see what the true damage was.

I'm so proud of everyone and all the amazing accomplishments I saw in 2010. Not just races and marathons and pounds lost, but real personal growth. Whether you lost 1 lb or 100, the personal (and non-scale) victories were astounding.

I've also given some thought to 2010 and what it meant to me. I wanted to be at my goal weight of 165 lbs but that didn't happen, but numbers be numbers be numbers. I'm still confused as to what I want 2011 to bring, but...

emoticon I succeeded in losing 40 lbs in 2010.
emoticon I ran my first 10K and my first half marathon.
emoticon Even though I feel like I petered out in November and December, I got 26,025 fitness minutes for the year, smashing my goal of 20,100.
emoticon I've hit the crossroads in deciding what I want from my professional life, and I need this.
emoticon I feel a lot more comfortable in my own skin.
emoticon I know who I am.

I know who I am.

I'm a writer. I'm a wife. I'm a daughter. I'm a decent cook. I am witty. I'm a runner. I'm a friend. I'm a lawyer. I'm a lot of things to a lot of people, but none of those things are as important as making MYSELF happy and living my life to its absolute potential. Because life is way too short to sit around and watch things happen.

I've got a spark. And not just for weight loss. I've let it dim over the years when it got easy to keep quiet and be complacent. But not anymore.

I'm not going to make the mistake of going out there and saying how amazing 2011 will be. It might be. I'm going to live it with gusto. I'm going to try to make it the best year of my life, no question. But like every year, it will have its ups and downs and days that make me feel on top of the world and others where I'll want to curl up in a ball and cry. 2010 began and ended with sad, cold weather and death and sadness and the middle was filled with warmth and the best summer of my life and the half marathon that will forever be one of my life's crowning acheivements.

2011 will be a year.

But it's my year. And yours too.

Yes, ride the New Year momentum as far as it will take you. In this struggle to stay healthy and active, that momentum is your best friend. But don't forsake 2011 when the bad stuff inevitably comes your way. Because it will. This isn't to bring you down or be pessimistic by any means. But a life fully lived is going to have crests and valleys.

So live it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MACEWOMAN 1/31/2011 1:29PM

    Too true and best of luck to you in 2011!

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LUCKYDOGFARM 1/10/2011 11:00PM

    Amen Sister, Amen.

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JBMT08 1/7/2011 2:44PM

    This is great! Live it up today and always!!

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MPALMER15 1/5/2011 4:12PM

    So true! Glad to see you back!

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ERMAC22 1/5/2011 9:02AM

    YEAH girl! Love this blog. 2011 WILL be a year for success! Congrats on all your 2010 accomplishments.

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ADVENTURE-GIRL 1/4/2011 6:07PM

    Wow!! You had a great year and are still here despite how your year ended. You should be so proud!! Congrats!!

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MANDA_MICHELLE 1/4/2011 1:46PM

  sounds awesome :) its so true. a year is a year, it will bring what it brings, but we can definitely hold a positive attitude about it.
congrats on your year!

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THEQUEENBEE333 1/4/2011 11:34AM

    Welcome back and thanks for sharing! Reading this is motivating to me! Have a great week and a SUPER year!

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ANNE7X7 1/4/2011 8:49AM

    Welcome back! I totally agree with how nice it was to take a few days off spark and just "live". It's not easy to get back at it though, but we can start making the very most of 2011 right away! I have no doubt that you will have another successful year, full of fun and health!!

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ABETTERBECKY 1/4/2011 8:30AM

    You are pretty awesome Kristina and a wish you all the happiness in the world this year!

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NIELSENSLADY 1/4/2011 1:24AM

    I hope it's a great year for all of us!

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DETERMINED_SOUL 1/3/2011 9:15PM

    Woohoo!!! We can lose that 40 pounds this year..I have a few extra, but still!!

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BOOKSCATSTEA 1/3/2011 8:49PM

    You've got that right!
emoticon

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RAINTHIEF 1/3/2011 8:36PM

    emoticon Go get it, girl!

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TRAVELNISTA 1/3/2011 8:28PM

    You ROCK! emoticon emoticon

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MAGPIE17 1/3/2011 1:52PM

    You rocked 2010, and no matter how much life will throw at us in 2011, we're going to own it!

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CLALIZ 1/3/2011 1:18PM

    I DID miss you!!! :)
Those are AWESOME accomplishments in the last year!!! 2011 will be my year too!
emoticon xoxo

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CLALIZ 1/3/2011 1:17PM

    I DID miss you!!! :)
Those are AWESOME accomplishments in the last year!!! 2011 will be my year too!
emoticon xoxo

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4EVERADONEGIRL 1/3/2011 1:07PM

    Amen Sistah! Couldn't have said it better...and YES!!!! I did miss you!!!!!!!

2011 will be a year...love it! I'm gonna go live it now...C-YA!

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LOVELYLOSER84 1/3/2011 12:54PM

    thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Happy New Year!

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SAMSPARK1 1/3/2011 12:37PM

    Yup missed you!! I wish you the very best of 2011! May all your dreams come true!

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MOCOHOLO 1/3/2011 12:36PM

    Hi Kristina! Welcome back and good luck with your goals this year!

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JENELOPE 1/3/2011 11:11AM

    I missed you. I missed all of SP. I spent the last couple of weeks of Nov and the first couple of Dec busy at work and busy after work. I spent the last two weeks of Dec both sick and out of town with only dial-up. I'm looking forward to getting back to being in control of my own life, let me tell you! Time to reconnect with friends and with myself!

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CREATINGAMANDA 1/3/2011 11:03AM

    I did miss you! I'm glad you had a well-needed/deserved break though. Can't wait to see what you do with this year!

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_TRIXIE_ 1/3/2011 10:50AM

    I just wanted to say thanks for the reminder that all this happiness and optimism will inevitably fall by the wayside in the next few months AND THAT IS OKAY.

I hope your 2011 ends better than 2010 did, but that's ~11 months down the road, so I'll wait until we're closer. :)



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HEALTHYELEPHANT 1/3/2011 10:41AM

    Happy New Year! So glad to have you back...here's to an amazing year for you! :)

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MBSHAZZER 1/3/2011 10:31AM

    I am always 'meh' around the new year. I am of the same opinion as you... life has highs and lows and the lows don't make it a sucky year and the highs don't make it a great year. Mostly, it's our attitude that determines the greatness or suckiness. I like to continually challenge myself throughout the year, not just at one time.

Happy New Year! Thanks for all of the wonderful inspiration! I look forward to following you on the journey!

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FREES1 1/3/2011 9:59AM

    Welcome back! You've been missed! I am glad you had a well deserved break!
I like your crowning achievement of 2011 - there is no better one, in my humble opinion...
and you are so correct - the year will be what the year will be, and what we make of it is all the more powerful!
Good to have you home -

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STORMTMB 1/3/2011 9:44AM

    You've said it so well - once again.

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WISLNDR 1/3/2011 9:31AM

    Ah, you must be in your 30's now. You write with much wisdom!!

Seriously, I've learned in my many years to be careful as to how high I let momentum take me. It can be a long way to fall if you're not prepared. I loved reading your blog; I can tell that you are definitely comfortable in your own skin!!

Happy New Year, Friend!!

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CHICAT63 1/3/2011 8:49AM

    Missed for sure Kristina, hugs but I sure do understand! Great insights for 2011, all the best !

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LIFEINREVOLT 1/3/2011 8:44AM

    Definitely missed you, I am pumped for whatever 2011 will bring... good or bad. Let's get started!

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VALERIENEAL 1/3/2011 8:36AM

    What an awesome outlook!!!

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FUNFROG79 1/3/2011 8:20AM

    I'm glad you got the break that you needed! Here's to much joy and success in 2011!

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TIME4AFITME 1/3/2011 8:10AM

    Missed you so nice to have you back! Looking forward to 2011!

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PINKCOCONUT 1/3/2011 7:45AM

    Happy New Year woman! I know that with everything you learned in 2010 that you'll face 2011 head on!

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RUNNINGNP2B 1/3/2011 7:16AM

    Aaaaaaaamen.

Thanks for not making "2011 the best year EVAAAAAH" like so many others tend to do. I have seen that gusto and flash and excitement in people only to see it wane out equally as fast.

I love the live it and accept it to be a year - ones with the down days, the up days, the in between days. It's another year to enjoy and more importantly live.

Way to go girl, I'm with you.

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HOPEFULHIPPO 1/3/2011 12:17AM

    emoticon I don't noramlly toast (bad luck) but, here's to not letting our Spark dim in 2011 :o) emoticon

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KITHKINCAID 1/2/2011 11:01PM

    Well said. As long as we're running those crests and valleys, I say it's going to turn out ok :)

Happy 2011 Kristina!

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PAPPHEM 1/2/2011 10:58PM

    That is exactly my goal for this year, to ride it whatever may come! Well said!

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 1/2/2011 10:44PM

    365 days-hopefully the majority of them will be wonderful and we will find continued success in all areas of our lives :).

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IBSHAUN 1/2/2011 10:39PM

    Welcome back - and though I have only recently "met you" on Spark People, I did miss you. I love this blog post. Made me stop and think about how much expectation we put in the new year each year. You are right it will have ups and downs. And, you are right that it is ours to live. That's the key - LIVING it. I hope your year brings you find some peace to offset your sadness as the year gets started.

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IBSHAUN 1/2/2011 10:39PM

    Welcome back - and though I have only recently "met you" on Spark People, I did miss you. I love this blog post. Made me stop and think about how much expectation we put in the new year each year. You are right it will have ups and downs. And, you are right that it is ours to live. That's the key - LIVING it. I hope your year brings you find some peace to offset your sadness as the year gets started.

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IMSMILEY88 1/2/2011 10:38PM

    I missed you, too! Glad to see you 'back'. And, you are right... as excited as we are about 2011, it will have its ups and downs. I'm excited to see what lies ahead, but only God knows what that will be!

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HAPPYPATTY1 1/2/2011 10:34PM

    Nice to have you back! Hope your holidays were peaceful... and yes - it's on to great things on 2011!

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NATPLUMMER 1/2/2011 10:29PM

    Yes, I did miss you. Welcome back. You accomplished some amazing stuff in 2010 and I see no reason why you won't in 2011.
You are so right. It will be a year, our year but it won't necessarily be the best one ever. It's going to be what it is. We just have to do the best we can with it.
Let's live, baby!

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SCHENPOSSIBLE 1/2/2011 10:26PM

    I think about reading your blogs in the summer and just how in love with yourself you were. It was awesome to get the status updates about the fun time you were having with your SIL, or surfing or just enjoying qt spent with your hubby. I'm sorry your year ended on such a crappy note, but know that you'll find your happy again, and get to where you need to go. This blog sounds like a catharsis. Glad you're back. Benvenuta! Brava!

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GRACEISENUF 1/2/2011 10:23PM

    Oh...and YES I MISSED YOU!
emoticon

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GRACEISENUF 1/2/2011 10:23PM

    I will do just that, "live it". I believe with our attitudes and determination we will "own" 2011!




emoticon

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CORGICREW 1/2/2011 10:22PM

  Loved the post. Congrats on all the things that went well in 2010. Here is too much success in 2011. emoticon

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Do You Give Yourself Enough Power?

Thursday, December 09, 2010

My last blog was about giving food too much power by allowing it to ruin your day when you've had too much of it or letting it shoot you into euphoria if you do something as simple as have an A+ nutrition day.

That got me thinking...

Do you give yourself enough power?

Do you give yourself credit for your successes? Or do you chalk it up to luck or the stars aligning in your favor?




Can you take a compliment? Or do you demur and say "It was nothing..."




Do you look at other people as "inspiration" and think, "That's gonna be me someday! I can do that!" Or do you revere them as gods and goddesses with powers beyond your grasp?

Do you realize how powerful you are?




The difference between a lot of the people who get things done and the "regular guys" is nothing more than optimism, confidence, and persistence. Not a superpower. Not incredible talent. Not super smarts.

There's nothing keeping you from being a success story except yourself. Empower yourself.

Brag a little.

List 5 things you particularly excel at. Do it in the comments or on a post-it note. Mine are:

1. Writing
2. Standing up for the little guy
3. Keeping a secret
4. Mixing drinks
5. Running

Pretty cool, right?

And seriously, if you are amazing at those 5 things, what's keeping from adding to the list and mastering 5 more things you really want to?

If you really want to lose weight; if you can visualize yourself as leaner and fitter and banish the "I could never" mentality; if you realize AMAZINGSPARKPEOPLEMEMBER is no different than you could be...

Well, honestly, there's no stopping you.

(Images from leegovatos.com, galadarling.com, drjays.com)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ZOEJADA 12/19/2010 8:01PM

    emoticon blog! Thanks!

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TASHAFLEA 12/17/2010 6:35PM

    Thanks for the post it was light hearted and good to read :) Every now and then we need to remember who we're doing this whole thing for ;) Why would I bother if deep down I knew I wasn't worth looking good, feeling good and living a wholesome life?

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KATWOMAN12839 12/15/2010 7:16PM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon

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STEPHIMAE 12/15/2010 3:49AM

  emoticonGreat Blog emoticon

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DREAMBODY10 12/15/2010 2:05AM

    Awesome Blog.
We all have more power than we think. The problem is that we don't harness it and use it. Acknowledging and celebrating our successes is very powerful tool that is very motivating.
Thanks for the reminder of something we should all put

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DREAMBODY10 12/15/2010 2:01AM

    We all have more power than we think. The problem is that we don't take the time to harness it and use it...
Thanks for the reminder. Awesome Blog

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GETFIT2LIVE 12/15/2010 1:41AM

    You are so right! I hope many people here read and begin to believe this; it's really the key to success!

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RECIPE4ME 12/15/2010 1:19AM

    emoticon emoticon

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JLEMUS1 12/14/2010 9:01AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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SM-ARTGIRL 12/14/2010 7:08AM

    1. Concieving & Creating art projects
2. Standing up for the little guy
3. Cooking nutritious, delicious meals
4. Teaching
5. Feeling

emoticon emoticon

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REILLYGIRRRL 12/14/2010 6:33AM

  Great blog.

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VERONICAS_GOALS 12/14/2010 4:01AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LIBRASUNSHINE 12/14/2010 1:30AM

    emoticon

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SEWFITSINGER 12/13/2010 4:43PM

    Wonderful ... emoticon

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PUDGEM 12/13/2010 2:54PM

    Awesome! Thanks for sharing!

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KAITLYNSNAMMY 12/13/2010 2:53PM

    emoticon

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DEBLYNN323 12/13/2010 2:16PM

    emoticon great job!

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MARCYNA 12/13/2010 12:35PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EFELL123 12/13/2010 7:05AM

    Thanks! Very true!! emoticon

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RUNANDRUN 12/12/2010 10:37PM

  Great blog. I will give myself my own vision daily!

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46SHADOW 12/12/2010 7:30PM

    visualizing it now!

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SHUPER5 12/12/2010 5:41PM

    Loved it!Thank you so much!! emoticon

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LRSILVER 12/12/2010 1:56PM

    thanks for the blog emoticon emoticon

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LUBAML 12/12/2010 1:03PM

    Thanks for sharing! emoticonLuba

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DANLENO1949 12/12/2010 12:46PM

    Great Blog emoticon

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ASHLEEWEBART 12/12/2010 12:18PM

    This blog is excellent and it motivates us to TRY harder, and be more dedicated because it works so well!

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BLUSTAR 12/12/2010 12:00PM

    Thank you for sharing this :-) awesome blog... keep up the great work!

Glenda

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MACEWOMAN 12/12/2010 10:37AM

    Too true. emoticon

I'm going to think about my five things.

Comment edited on: 12/12/2010 10:45:14 AM

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TRABOLD8567 12/12/2010 10:19AM

  Thank you. Very thought provoking!

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CCBROWN90 12/12/2010 10:05AM

    So true, thanks for reminding me! :)

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JAE_HENNINGTON 12/12/2010 9:55AM

  thanks for this very inspiring blog

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JPRICE217 12/12/2010 8:46AM

    emoticon emoticon

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ATHENA2010 12/12/2010 4:14AM

    AWESOME! It is great to hear such positive ideas which are ultimately empowering. You are a great inspiration and give encouragement for us to join you - THANK YOU! :-)

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LESSISMORE2010 12/12/2010 12:30AM

    Thank you for sharing!

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SUNSHINE634 12/11/2010 11:37PM

    Thank you for the wonderful post!

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IMSMILEY88 12/11/2010 11:12PM

    Wonderful! And, you are a great writer... and runner!

1. insect photographer
2. pianist
3. scrapbooker
4. teacher
5. travel planner

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SLIMLILA 12/11/2010 8:16PM

   
sometimes it the simplest thing that someone else points out to you that makes you realize how easy it cold really be.

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LMMIMI 12/11/2010 7:24PM

    emoticon Thanks for your blog. Sometimes we only look at the negative and need to remind ourselves of the positives.

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PC2708 12/11/2010 5:07PM

    Thank you for such an uplifting blog!! Love it!!! emoticon emoticon

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TACOTA 12/11/2010 11:59AM

    Awesome, uplifting post! Thanks for sharing!

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ANEPANALIPTI 12/11/2010 11:55AM

    You. are. so. freaking. awesome.

Thank you for helping me believe in my own greatness. emoticon

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DKBECK 12/11/2010 10:43AM

    Thanks for the post--i really needed it today!

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MRE1956 12/11/2010 9:24AM

    emoticon post!

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MESEATURTLE 12/11/2010 6:38AM

    Really needed

I am extremely sincere
I am super good at analyzing things
I am a safe driver
I throw good parties
I am true in my emotions!!!!

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FRACTALMYTH 12/10/2010 4:55PM

    What a great blog! My five things?

1. Making toys
2. Writing
3. Acting on a plan
4. Being loyal
5. I always try to find the bright side of life.

Hope you don't mind, I'm adding you as a friend.

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CRISTEANE 12/10/2010 3:55PM

    What a great and empowering blog! Thanks for posting it!

Okay, I am good at:

1)Speaking my mind & giving an honest opinion
2)Being Loyal
3)Being supportive of those around me
4)Embroidery
5)Planning

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NICOLE12-01 12/10/2010 3:24PM

    This blog really hits home with me right now. I've been in a funk and definitely lost my spark. I keep bashing myself for all of the things that I'm not doing as well as I should be, and not giving myself credit for everything that I'm doing right...or that I'm just friggen great at. I hope that I get my "spark" back soon, because this is NOT the person I like to be. Okay...5 things:
1. I am a great listener...it's part job, and part who I AM.
2. I am a cardio MACHINE.
3. I am a good friend.
4. I have gone through a lot in my life...I am a survivor.
5. I am musically talented...piano and flute.

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LIBBYFITZ 12/10/2010 1:11PM

    A great blog!
I have learnt to accept compliments and say"Thank you"
5 things I excel at,
1. I am a very good cook
2. I am a great gardener.
3. I am a great talker and am able to get people chatting quite easily.
4. I have learnt to be a very good listener.
5. I am loyal to my friends.

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YOOVIE 12/10/2010 11:16AM

    I fail at giving myself any power.

Im good at motivating other people and whipping them into a frenzy if I want to.
Im good at finding the best vantage point.
Im good at finding the cheapest way to be super fashionable on a budget.
Im good at taking care of sick people.
Im good at planning airports.

Comment edited on: 12/10/2010 11:16:35 AM

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CARILOUIE 12/10/2010 6:26AM

    I have gotten so much better at taking a compliment. A "thank you" and a smile go a long way!

Five things:
1) I am an awesome music teacher :)
2) I can find the positive in just about anything.
3) I bake a mean cookie.
4) I am super organized - I rarely lose stuff.
5) I am a very good driver.

Happy Friday!

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

Do You Give Food Power?

Tuesday, December 07, 2010

One week into December, and I'm feeling better than all the days in November combined. Why? Because I'm not giving food power over my moods, because I'm taking time out for myself, because I'm in control of my own destiny.

I know that I can have a Christmas cookie here and there and not gain all of my weight back. I know it's about being smart . . . not perfect.



I went back and reread my blog from yesterday when I told you about my grandmother feeding me cookies (and a huge bowl of chicken cacciatore that I turned down) and then telling me my face looked fatter. So many of you were offended on my behalf that I started to think back to how many times I had stormed out at the horrible things she said to me in the past. I was "enormous." I was as "big as a house." I had thighs "the size of elephant legs" (yeah, I wish that one wasn't true either).

I guess after losing over 100 lbs, I realized that I could be a Size 2, eating those cookies and she'd still be criticizing some aspect of me. It's her way. It's like a test I can do nothing but fail. If I turn down the cookies, I'm insulting her baking prowess. If I eat them, I'm opening myself to criticism over my weight. And to think I can change the ways of an 80-year-old who grew up surrounded by women (a mom and eight sisters) and all of the cruel things they can say to each other, and the mind games and manipulation, is just pure folly plain and simple.

And I think that realization is just as much of a victory as those 100 lbs I've shed from my body.



But despite the crazy things she says, I know she still loves me. In January, she sold me her rental property way below market rate and gifted me the down payment and that income has made a huge difference in our lives this year. I am extremely thankful for that.

Just like the holidays can't break me, her words can't break me. Not anymore. Just like I'm not giving food power, I'm not giving her verbal diarrhea power.

How do you give food power over you?

By banishing foods like cookies to the wayside, you are giving food power. By repeating the mantra "food is fuel" and zapping all the enjoyment of eating as well as the social aspect of food out of your life, you are giving food power. By referring to that golden wagon that you keep clambering onto, the one that has come to represent a perfectly healthy lifestyle and A+ food choices, you are giving food power. Do you beat yourself up after eating a slice of cake, or even worse, WEIGH YOURSELF afterwards? That's giving food power.

We've all heard of emotional eating; using food to fill a void in our lives or to combat feelings of loneliness, grief, stress, etc. We all know how unconstructive it is to use food as a crutch and to make ourselves feel better. Conversely, it's no more productive to beat ourselves up after a "bad day" or if we allow an indulgence (planned or not). Food just isn't worth it.

emoticonSo when you have too many glasses of wine at a holiday party...
emoticonWhen you have one too many holiday treats...
emoticonWhen you can't stay away from that cheese platter...

Realize, yes, you have the capacity to make better choices. But you're not perfect. Food is not just fuel. We have taste buds for a reason. It is often the centerpiece of celebrations. It is used in many a social situation. And you will always be faced with it.

As my friend Amanda said so beautifully yesterday, "If I never lose another pound, can I still be a good person? Hell to the yes . . . Be proud of the fact that your body of today is not your body of six months ago. Sure, you may still have work to do … you’re not perfect … but you’re also none of those things that are going through your brain. Part of being healthy is making peace with the person you are, while still knowing that you can keep growing and changing and making better decisions." www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_jo
urnal_individual.asp?blog_id=3827298


Show food who's boss this season.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRSJERRYBUSH 12/14/2010 12:12PM

    Have a wonderful Christmas and New Year! You're not going to let food have power over you!

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RSHOWS 12/13/2010 10:03PM

    Phenomenal post! Thanks for sharing.

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CALLIKIA 12/13/2010 2:43PM

    *nods* You always say it best...

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JANIEWWJD 12/13/2010 1:55AM

    You go girl. Your are the BOSS! Thank you for that wonderful blog. emoticon

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IMSMILEY88 12/11/2010 11:15PM

    What wonderful insight! Thank you!

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SLIMTHICK2 12/10/2010 10:04PM

    LOVELY BLOG emoticon

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MOTLEM 12/10/2010 9:39PM

    What a great outlook on life you have! If everyone was a wee bit the same, the world would be a better place.

Thanks for sharing.

Mel - Tasmania, Australia.

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LIVNFITNHAPPY 12/10/2010 8:03PM

    Wonderful Blog!!! You have redirected my attention to my true goals. Instead of feeling guilty about not having stellar nutrition this week, I am pondering what it is I would really like to experience this holiday season! The warmth of the love of family and friends, the feeling of "magic" in the air, the spirit of giving without expecting anything in return! These are my favorite memories of Christmas past and they have nothing to do with grading myself!

THANK YOU for sharing and stimulating the positive and powerful in us all!

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PICKANYNAME 12/10/2010 7:59PM

  Thank you! ..... from all of the dysfunctional, yet loving emotional eaters out here!

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RACHELSBAMA 12/10/2010 5:28PM

    Great blog...well done.
Carol

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HIKETOHEIGHTS 12/10/2010 5:03PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Nice blog, I admire your sparkability!

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FIERCE_FABULOUS 12/10/2010 3:10PM

    well hello blog! where have you been? lol this is exactly how i feel... im letting food overpower me.. and i really admire your milestone in this journey of becoming a healthier person inside and out. its definitely tough to make good food choices this season, but you are right, we can't let food control us. this is something i am working on myself. congrats to you! thats great! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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GETDONE 12/10/2010 8:17AM

    emoticon emoticonSO TRUE--GREAT POST

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MASE72 12/10/2010 6:54AM

    Great Blog! emoticon

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NORASPAT 12/9/2010 7:13PM

    THANKS for your insight in to food.

We all have a different take on our jouneys. When you find what works for you emotionally and if it is fulfilling your needs it is good to stand by your plan.

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REJ7777 12/9/2010 6:19PM

    Very balanced attitude! emoticon emoticon

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VALERIENEAL 12/9/2010 6:08PM

    You have done something so many people NEVER learn to do accept a loved one just as they are. Then and only then can healing and acceptance of yourself begin. This is on my mind because I blogged about it today. YOU ROCK. Great pointers!!!
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TRAUEN 12/9/2010 6:00PM

  Thank you for these words. They are very touching. We ARE more than what we weigh and how we look. How sad that we hold ourselves up to unattainable levels of perfection. It is important to be healthy, exercise, and eat right. However, if we never look past our accomplishments, or worse, judge our worth only by our physical beauty, we are doing ourselves a bigger injustice - we are failing to find value in God's creation. Our true beauty is not physical. How interesting would our lives be if we put as much effort, time, and attention, into 'working out' our insides - our spirits, our attitudes, our behaviors towards one another.

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TURQUOISELOTUS 12/9/2010 5:36PM

    what a fabulous blog! Thanks for sharing your insights!

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LADY_KATHY 12/9/2010 4:50PM

    Great blog.. thanks for sharing. : )

Kathy

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BYEFATNANNY 12/9/2010 4:09PM

    Great Blog. Yep I'll have a bit too much this season, but I did last Christmas too, and I've lost 60 lbs and I've started running and I've ...oh and I've ..and oh by the way I'm doing just fine!

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OBURRELL 12/9/2010 2:19PM

    I have just come to this realization this month too. Amazingly, once I stopped giving food power-I gained the power to lose weight again!

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RUSSELLORAMA 12/9/2010 1:28PM

    Love the "golden wagon." Are we so used to defining ourselves as powerless that we have to ascribe power to people/objects that are undeserving? Makes you wonder!

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JILLIANWILLIAN 12/9/2010 12:12PM

    thanks for sharing.. j

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NINJA_SMOO 12/9/2010 11:43AM

  I love the picture of the gingerbread men. Very on point!

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JANIE68 12/9/2010 11:36AM

    Powerful blog! Thank you for sharing your thoughts - - they will help me and so many others. Best, Jane

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NICKNJAMIE1 12/9/2010 10:55AM

    That is a great way to look at things. Keep it up girl you inspired me. emoticon

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ANNNDI 12/9/2010 10:36AM

  You go girl!

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LINDABENEDICT 12/9/2010 10:04AM

    Great insights !

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ABETTERCHERYL 12/9/2010 10:01AM

    Oh, I just love this and this is exactly what I needed to hear this morning. We are having our holiday open house this morning and it's catered and I'm going to be surrounded by finger foot and sugared treats. I just love your optimism.

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ILUVTHE80S 12/9/2010 9:44AM

    emoticon on your weightloss! Yes, we all have those negative people in our lives. We just need to learn to tune them out!

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ASTRALL 12/9/2010 9:32AM

    Great blog! Well done to you on your healthier lifestyle. People no matter what relationship they have with us will always feel they have a right to say what they want but your attitude is totally on point! emoticon

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CHUBBYSELF 12/9/2010 8:14AM

    Great advice and Congrats on dropping 100 lbs! You are fabulous no matter what anyone says, they are just jealous!!!

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LIVEFREE11 12/9/2010 8:07AM

    I laughed right out loud (for real!) when I scrolled down to the gingerbread cookies. Thanks for your thoughts and insights. I'm definitely struggling with giving food power.

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CARILOUIE 12/9/2010 5:40AM

    Ahh. Isn't December wonderful? It's funny... you know how "they" say that women who hang around together a lot start to have their TOM at the same time? I think reading so many blogs makes people on Spark start to have the same thoughts at the same time. I am so totally pleased with how December is going... I am making the food choices instead of the food making choices for me. ONE Ghiradelli chocolate square for lunch? WIN.

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CBACH71 12/9/2010 3:19AM

    Nice!

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LATVIAN_SANDY 12/9/2010 2:39AM

    emoticonGood for you!!!

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UNSTOPPABLE_ 12/9/2010 12:57AM

    Wow ...you are awesome!

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FITFABME2 12/9/2010 12:30AM

    You've lost 100# - OMG! That is so awesome...you go girl!!

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SAMMYSWEETPEA 12/9/2010 12:19AM

    Wow, you have a great perspective on eating in general. Thanks for sharing your thoughts. I certainly never thought of the wagon as being "golden" before. I think I will be catching myself in the future when I'm wishing to be "back on it".

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AJB121299 12/8/2010 11:51PM

    keep it up

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BLOOMING52 12/8/2010 11:44PM

    Thank you

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REFRESH5 12/8/2010 11:41PM

  Sounds like she could not control her mean tongue but she did love you.

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BLONDE2B 12/8/2010 11:30PM

    What a great new attitude you have now, both about food and what your grandmother! Thanks for sharing this.

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BRENNAN34 12/8/2010 11:27PM

    LOVED what you shared emoticon

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DISNEYPARIS 12/8/2010 10:20PM

    Great blog. Happy holidays. emoticon

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JGINTX 12/8/2010 10:16PM

    OH SO TRUE!! So happy I "stumbled" onto your blog today. Words I needed to hear. Thanks for your motivational words!!!

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AMARILYNH 12/8/2010 9:50PM

    This is just one of the thing I love about SP - I don't know you, I came across your blog completely by accident, but reading it just MADE MY DAY! What awesome insight - learning that you can love someone but NOT buy into their WORDS is such freeing knowledge!! Yea you - you are learning YOU are in control of your life, not someone's words!! And that being a good person and being a perfect person are NOT the same things!! Awesome!!

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LJR4HEALTH 12/8/2010 9:27PM

    Great blog thanks so much for sharing you thought on the power we place on food I'm still at the place where food has power. Family can be so cruel I was once told that my thigh was the size of ham that could feed a family of 8 for a week (this wasn't a family member though)I feel your pain over the horrible comments

Linda

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DAYSDELIGHT 12/8/2010 9:23PM

  Great blog post for making us think! Thanks for sharing.

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