KARVY09   39,391
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Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Early this morning I decided I was going to take the scale with the dead battery and throw it in the closet.

"What are you doing with that?" my husband said.

"I'm putting it in the closet so I don't obsess over it. It's out of batteries anyways."

"I changed it last night," said he.

"It needs a lithium battery!"

"Yeah, we had an extra one from the last time. I lost a pound!" he said, probably wondering why I was getting so worked up. He gave me a kiss and headed off to work.

So it's me and the scale again. Staring each other down. Do I do it? I hadn't weighed myself since last Thursday, about a week ago and I was interested in what hours of walking in New York as well as a couple of indulgences (Cheeseburger! Truffle fries! Sangria!) would have accomplished.

Aw, screw it, let's weigh.

198.6 flashed back at me and I almost didn't believe it. I tried again. Same result.

I'm not really a hugely sentimental person, but I did mist up. I haven't seen a "1" before my weight in more than 10 years. Then I snapped a photo for posterity!

322 days.
80 pounds.
5 pant sizes.
3 5Ks.

Thank you SparkPeople! Thank you SparkFriends! Now let's knock off some more pounds, shall we?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JBOWDOIN02 7/27/2010 1:47PM

    I'm soo happy for you. I just started reading your blog last week, and I've started from the beginning. I haven't read any of your new blogs, so I don't know where you are now. I will get to those soon. I just wanted to say how happy I am for you to have reached this point. I can't imagine how exciting it must have felt. I haven't weighed in under 200 since before highschool, and I'm 26. I was going to wait to start commenting until I got to your new blogs, but after reading this, I just teared up and wanted to congratulate you. Even if I am a little late. I hope you see this. You'll be hearing more from me soon. I should be up to date in the next day or two.

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TREKKSTER 5/7/2010 3:26PM

  Congratulations! You have certainly accomplished a lot! emoticon

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JEWLSM 4/30/2010 10:49AM


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STINA6584 4/29/2010 11:33AM

    I'm a little behind here. (I definitely fell off the SP planet. I'm trying to get it back together.)

CONGRATS!!!! on reach Onederland. I am so proud of you, and you are such a huge inspirations. I'm glad I get to call you friend (even if I've been a bad one recently.)

Keep on making us proud girl! You are amazing!

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A_LITTLE_TLC 4/25/2010 10:06PM

  Doesn't Onderland feel great! I am finally there too and I hadn't seen it in over 15 years. Great blogs.....I just discovered them.

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TENACIOUSTIGER 4/25/2010 10:35AM

    awesome and congratulations on losing weight, great to hear of your success emoticon

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MCMPOOH43 4/25/2010 1:09AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ETPHONEHOME9092 4/24/2010 6:03PM

  I love the pic. I hope I can take a similar one before my 50th birthday in August.

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DOUBLERN 4/24/2010 12:48PM

  Yea! Congratulations.

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DACNER00 4/24/2010 12:04PM


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BUBBLEBEE21 4/24/2010 10:00AM

    emoticon great story to share

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JMURPHY73 4/24/2010 9:50AM

    You are my idol.

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NIMMYT 4/24/2010 9:09AM

    Congratulations!!!! Wow!

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ANGELALEGNA 4/23/2010 9:54PM

    How exciting!! I had one of those WOW moments myself recently, I also took a picture of my scale, but my camera made it weigh more :( it's very encouraging and exciting! I'm very happy for you!

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MAMAFEELGOOD 4/23/2010 9:30PM

    Congratulations! I have hope that I will see that number next year. Keep up the good work.

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FITLIFE6 4/23/2010 7:25PM

I broke the 200lb mark this week too, I hadn't see the "1" for years also!

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KARENV986 4/23/2010 5:55PM

  You are a rock star!!

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SANDSTRA 4/23/2010 4:21PM

    Congrats! I remember that "1" feeling too...keep up the awesome work! emoticon

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JBARBER1953 4/23/2010 2:53PM

    Yay for YOU!!!
I'm having a problem with the scale myself. I get obsessed with weighing myself everyday (not a good thing for me). I eventually have to put them somewhere out of sight until weigh in day (Monday).

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KATYBUGRICE 4/23/2010 12:59PM

    You give me soo much inspiration!!! emoticon

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SUDEAUX 4/23/2010 12:22PM

    Awesome! That same thing happened to me yesterday. The part about finally getting in the "Ones"! I finally got under 200 pounds by weighing 199.6 yesterday for the first time in 20 years. It's a big effing deal so congrats to you!! emoticon

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LEIBROWN 4/23/2010 11:42AM

Good job girl!

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JMURPHY73 4/23/2010 11:03AM

    I weigh myself every Wednesday. I have about 60 to 80lbs to lose. I started on this journy March 1st, today is only the 23rd of April, I have lost 13lbs however for the last 2 weeks my scale has not changed numbers. Can I borrow your scale I want to be in the 1's also. emoticon

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BARRETT140 4/23/2010 10:50AM

    That is AMAZING!

Look at you Skinny! emoticon

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COURTMOM07 4/23/2010 10:29AM


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AHEALTHIERME9 4/23/2010 9:57AM


You must feel like you are on top of the world!!!!


And kudos to your hubby for changing that battery!

I am proud of you, my friend!

Keep shining brightly and reaching for the sparks!!! emoticon

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METTAKARUNA 4/23/2010 9:33AM

    AWESOME!! Congrats!!

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PITTACHICK 4/23/2010 9:32AM

    You are stronger than you think, smarter than you think and I am amazed at your journey, your progress, and your dedication.
Congratulations!!!! emoticon

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TRABOLD8567 4/23/2010 7:59AM

  emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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    That's so heartwarming! Thanks for sharing that moment with us!

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STEPH-KNEE 4/23/2010 4:46AM

    Way to go!!! I am very proud of you!!

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PHATPINKE 4/23/2010 1:28AM


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HEARTSTOPPER 4/23/2010 12:26AM

We shall:)


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MEANDNICOLAS 4/22/2010 11:55PM

    Congratulations! I got on the scale yesterday and saw 203.5. I got excited just thinking - I'm only 3.6 pounds from being uner 200! I can't wait - reading this today was perfect timing. You should be super proud of yourself!

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IDMOMOF5 4/22/2010 11:18PM

    Wait to go! I'd just about fell off the couch laughing my ass off cuz I love how dramatic women get with their man. I have had my scale for years and I swear it's broken. So instead I've decided to sell it in yard sale and let someone else be frustrated with it. Like you, I don't want to be obsessed with the numbers on the scale. Congrats on your journey.

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RUNLOLARUN31 4/22/2010 10:40PM


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PAMAZON 4/22/2010 10:27PM

    Wow!!!! I love love love that you took a picture!

I haven't weighed since April 1 for a challenge I'm doing. I am freaked out to get on the scale after so long. What if its higher??? I'm near the ones as well, but I don't think I'll be there next week.

Your post gets me excited though!!! Congratulations to you!

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GINA32 4/22/2010 10:10PM

  Congratulations! You have worked hard! I just recently got out of the 200's myself, and I don't ever want to start my weight with a "2" again! I love SparkPeople!

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KRISTIEE1 4/22/2010 9:58PM

    CONGRATS!!!!! your an inspiration for all you may have had a little slip up but obviously your doin the right things im so happy for you. your dream of seeing that 1 as the first is also a dream for me. im finally at the 20s so im trying to get myself together so i can get under the 200s. Wish me luck!!LOL i need it Again SUPER JOB emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LINDABENEDICT 4/22/2010 9:55PM

    Yay !!!! So proud of you !!!!

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PRETTYFACE245 4/22/2010 9:49PM


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STRIVE4BALANCE1 4/22/2010 9:33PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon That is absolutely awesome! Way to go! Keep up the fantastic work--also good for you for not obsessing over the scale. That's a hard leap to take.

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    What a great FEELING and good day to remember!!

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CVACC5 4/22/2010 8:21PM

    Now I am misting. That feeling of accomplishment is so worth it. Way to go. Thank you for an inspriational read. emoticon emoticon

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SHERRYJVP 4/22/2010 8:19PM

    so awesome. I have been in a slump..plateau really..and getting frustrated. Reading your excitement makes me want to keep on. So happy for you.

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LALAFLOWERS 4/22/2010 7:46PM

    YEAH!!! Good for you! Welcome to one-derland! Please don't ever leave!

Proud of you!!!!


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_DASH_ 4/22/2010 7:05PM

    you effing ROCK!!!!! hahaha i laughed when you said you "misted up" haha. i would have been the same way/ will be the same way when my day comes!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

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FIERCE_FABULOUS 4/22/2010 6:55PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JARMOOZLE 4/22/2010 6:43PM

    your blogs simply spells M-O-T-I-V-A-T-I-O-N!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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RUNNINGNP2B 4/22/2010 6:22PM

    Congrats girl, there's nothing like that entering ONE-derland feeling!

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Spreading the News

Monday, April 19, 2010

Had a great weekend away with the hubs in NYC.

Highly recommend hitting Priceline up. We got a great deal on a hotel in the Financial District, which is a little out of the way from the touristy stuff, but really awesome. The first day we wandered around Chinatown and Soho and found this awesome hole-in-the-wall joint with $1 PBR and the most amazing burgers. Then we were over to Yankee Stadium to check the new place out. IT SUCKED. The fans were all amped on the subway and then after waiting in line and getting frisked by security and walking into that Colesseum, the whole life got drained from the place. Dunno if it was the sushi bars, the antiseptic quality of the place or the massive screen in centerfield that I kept staring at in lieu of the game, but eesh. I feel bad for Yankees fans. First and last time!

Then Saturday was a trip to the "authentic" fish and chip shop and to Broadway to see In the Heights. Had an awesome time. Also tried Pinkberry for the first time. Soooo yummy! And only 150 cal for a pretty big scoop! Jon enjoyed it!

Went home for a rest before hitting the town with some friends. Had some tapas and some sangria at night and had a blast!

Sunday after brunch (Eggs Benedict with smoked salmon instead of bacon... soooo good... and french fries with truffle oil), we did something I always wanted to do -- walk over the Brooklyn Bridge! It was fun!

Unfortunately, I didn't get to meet YOOVIE cos our lines and schedules got crossed, but I will be back this year, and I hope to meet her and other NYC SP peeps sometime soon.

We went to the flea market but didn't end up getting anything. Then over to the Brooklyn Botanical Gardens. Gorgeous! I love cherry trees and I was glad I got to see some this year.

Anyways, it was one of those weekends when I walked a ton and forgot that I was hungry until the food was actually infront of me. I felt great. The ankle was doing great and I'm ready to get back to running. Also, my scale is out of batteries. This is also great. It'll force me to switch to the gym scale and not obsess over pounds dropping off.

I also changed my ticker to reflect my highest weight and my ultimate, but realistic, goal of 165 by my 30th birthday. A lot of people have been cheering me over being close to my goal of 199, which is awesome, but I still have some work to do after Onederland.

I still plan to work hard! I have a 10K to train for and a half marathon in fall. Today was Marathon Monday in Boston, the one day where everyone gets excited about running! And I'm excited too and I'm ready to go.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AHEALTHIERME9 4/23/2010 10:13AM

    Love your pics and love your attitude and writing, girl!

I'm so glad you had a fantastic time with your hubby in NYC... it sounds like you had the most amazing time!!! WOOHOO!!!

Keep shining brightly and reaching for the sparks! emoticon

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DOPKIGIRL 4/21/2010 10:42AM

    Amazing pictures! Glad you had a GREAT time. It's always nice to take time for ourselves.

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CANDYXPERT 4/20/2010 10:30PM

    wow, looks like you had an awesome trip!!

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GOGETTERME 4/20/2010 8:40PM

    I'm from the CT/NY border and I miss the cherry blossoms (they seem early this year) and the AMAZING food in NYC. I'm glad you had a great time but missed YOOVIE. I would love to meet her! I can't wait to go to the city again. Screw the diet I want to eat in the big apple especially after the drought of FL eating! The walking around will make up for it;)

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TRAVELNISTA 4/20/2010 5:09PM

    I love reading about your weekend trips or even when you just blog about your weekend at home. You always manage to pack in so much activity. You always enjoy life to the max. emoticon

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    So glad you had fun in NYC! I've never been but am hoping to make the trip sometime this year. I'd love to go in the fall, although from the looks of your pictures, spring ain't half bad either!

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SUGIRL06 4/20/2010 2:42PM

    What a fun weekend!!! Where is this fish and chips place huh? I'd like to go! Next time you are there, maybe we can do a SP weekend or something? I'm only a few hours away and do day trips here and there!!! Glad you had a good weekend!

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TBOOM915 4/20/2010 1:35PM

    Awwww, yay, it sound like you had an awesome trip. A broadway show and pinkberry. I've always wanted to try pinkberry, it looks so yummy, maybe I will the next time I am up in the city. You do look great!! Thanks for sharing your blogs, pictures, and stories. Keep it up!

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NICOLE12-01 4/20/2010 1:20PM

    Sounds like an awesome, fun, and healthy weekend! Glad to hear that the ankle is getting better too! Thanks for sharing the pics! You look so happy! :)

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MANDAO97 4/20/2010 12:54PM

    It sounds like am amazing weekend. I am glad you have a great time! You sound happy and healthy - I bet it was nice to have all the enegery you needed to have a packed weekend with lots of walking. Glad to hear your ankle is feeling better!

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4EVERADONEGIRL 4/20/2010 12:13PM

    Glad you guys had a great time seeing the sights in NYC! You are doing such a great job and continue to inspire me!

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 4/20/2010 12:11PM

    Sounds like an awesome weekend. Glad you had a good time, enjoyed yourself and the ankle didn't bother you!! You probably burned a ton of cals with all that walking!!

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EMLG11 4/20/2010 11:48AM

    In the Heights is my absolute fave!! Hope you enjoyed it. I'm going there next month to see the new Promises, Promises and spend some time with two of my nieces. It will be great fun and I know I can keep up with them now!!

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GRACEISENUF 4/20/2010 11:08AM

    So glad you and Jon had such a good time. When we go on vacation I eat what I want too and don't stress over it either....life is way to short. I just make sure I get alot of walking in too.

Love the pics!

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KAISERSOZE 4/20/2010 10:58AM

    It sounds like it was a great trip and you look absolutely happy in the photos! I've always wanted to go to NYC and your blog is making me want to go now!

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FLORIDASUN 4/20/2010 10:26AM

    Hey adorable! You look so beautiful amidst the cherry blossoms! So happy you had a great time. I LOVE emoticonNYC and would move there TOMORROW if I could drag the DH! It also is so close to my heart as it was the last mother/son trip my Josher and I enjoyed. We went to the Tribecca Film Fest as he fondly called it "The Becca"...his fondest wish was to be a film-maker and oh...the stories he would have had to tell! So I'm happy you had such a great time..and it reminded me of all the fun we had together too! You are doing so FAB on your weight loss...I'm SO proud of you my little peep! Truly I am! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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FITMAMA1984 4/20/2010 10:05AM

    I'm glad yall had such a great time on your trip! You are such a wonderful person and I'm blessed to call you a friend of mine!

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MOCOHOLO 4/20/2010 10:05AM

    Beautiful pictures!! Thanks for sharing them.

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BURKEBRIZ 4/20/2010 9:46AM

    Love the pics! And ADORE Pinkberry. I love to visit my sis in Los Angeles so we can have some! LOL!

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SML1122 4/20/2010 9:31AM

    bklyn botanical is just gorgeous w the cherry trees

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MBSHAZZER 4/20/2010 9:18AM

    Fantastic weekend! Glad you enjoyed. And HOORAY for the 10k and half marathon goals! Can't wait to follow your progress!

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DREAMRUNR 4/20/2010 9:10AM

    Sounds like you had a great time. I love the new pictures you look so happy. I am also glad to hear that your ankle is better. time to get back to work. emoticon

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KYMMC3 4/20/2010 8:55AM

    Sounds and look like you had a really great time. I too love the cherry tress, they are so pretty and full of life. You look wonderful in front of one! yay for walking over the bridge. I am scared to death of bridges, but what an opportunity!! Great job. I am not in NYC, but if you ever get to WNY, then we will FOR SURE get together!

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BOOTS1221 4/20/2010 8:51AM

    Graet pics, you look so happy & healthy!!! I'm so glad you had fun. Booo to Yankee Stadium.. NOTHING beats Fenway and our dirty water!!!

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SPARKIN_REESIE 4/20/2010 8:07AM

    Sounds like a really nice weekend, thanks for sharing! Love those pictures - you look GREAT!

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  It looks like you had a blast and you look so pretty in your 1st picture on this blog!

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CHICAT63 4/20/2010 7:38AM

    You & hubby had a great time in NYC. Cherry blosoms tree are so whimisical don't you think, beautiful picture your smile says it all. Walking around is much better to take in the sights, ugh the new stadium doesn't sound great too bad. Happy to hear your ankle is doing much better, go get'em Sista. The Fall is looking bright with your goals !!!! emoticon

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HEDDMCB 4/20/2010 7:25AM

    What a fun weekend! I love your profile pic ~ gorgeous! Glad you are feeling better and ready to run again. Have a great week!

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SOPHIKKO 4/20/2010 7:18AM

    Wow it looks like you had a great time, and you are absolutely glowing in these pictures! They are some of my favourite pics of you.

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PINKCOCONUT 4/20/2010 7:15AM

    Sounds like an awesome weekend, woman! You're lookin' fabulous and the blossoms totally suit you! :D

Glad the ankle is feeling better!

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HOSTALADY 4/20/2010 7:05AM

    What a fabulous weekend holiday for you and Jon. You are doing really great. So happy to hear your ready to start running again. That is awesome! The photos are great and glad you're back!

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    Looks like you had a great time! Was the fish place A Salt and Battery?

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DJS-DEBBIE 4/20/2010 7:02AM

    Great pics! I am hoping to take a trip to NY this summer.

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MFREE1 4/20/2010 1:45AM

    Love the cherry trees...they look BEAUTIFUL!! Keep up the good work! emoticon I love reading your blogs. You have such high energy and are such an inspiration. :)

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RAINTHIEF 4/20/2010 1:32AM

    You are lookin' awesome! Love the pictures! I'm glad you two had a fun trip. emoticon

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HUGMONKEYMOM 4/20/2010 12:55AM

    What a fantastic weekend. After living there for seven years it's gonna be a while before I care to go back...but there are fun things to do in NYC.

And whether you are at goal or not - you are such a success story. So congratulations on a broken scale and a happy weekend.

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PSHANKEY 4/19/2010 11:54PM

    You deserved a great weekend. Keep it up!

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AASMITHHISLER 4/19/2010 11:41PM

    Glad you had such a wonderful trip! Good luck getting back to training and hope that ankle stays healthy!

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APRILB333 4/19/2010 11:13PM

    Good pics,looks and sounds like you had a good time! =] Glad to see that you are doing well with your ankle and have your sights set on all those great goals,keep up the awesomeness!! =P

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RUSSELLORAMA 4/19/2010 11:06PM

    Oh, Broadway! So jealous! It looks like it was a fantastic trip!

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DRRAZZ 4/19/2010 10:50PM

    Sounds like a great weekend!!!

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BRILLIANTAQUA 4/19/2010 10:43PM

    Looks like you had a great time! I live in the land of pinkberry and I still haven't given it a try...guess I should some time. Love that last pic of you with the trees!!

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VXWALL1942 4/19/2010 10:38PM

    And a good time was had by all! Pics are great!


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JESSSPARK 4/19/2010 10:29PM

    That pinkberry stuff sounds wicked good. Looks like you had a great time@! :)

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LADY_JOSIELOT 4/19/2010 10:19PM

    Love the pics and sounds like you had a great weekend. :)

- Josie

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RUN2MYDREAMS 4/19/2010 9:54PM

    Kristina, you have such a glow about you in these pictures. I'm so glad you were able to get away and have a wonderful time! I will have to check out Priceline. Thanks for the recommendation!

I absolutely love your pics. Keep doing you my friend!

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SASSAGAIN 4/19/2010 9:52PM

    Glad that you had a great time in NYC! The pics are gorgeous! Love the last one with you under the trees! You need to frame that one!

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ASIAMORA 4/19/2010 9:48PM

    Sounds like you had a great trip! Too bad you didn't get to meet any sparkers, but there's always next time! I think it would be really need to go and cheer for the people running the Marathon. If you go do that, have fun!!!

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SARAHJ19 4/19/2010 9:41PM

    Glad you had a great weekend! Looks like a lot of fun! I wish I had a pinkberry around here! Love the pictures!

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ROOT4HOME 4/19/2010 9:39PM

    Sounds like such a great vacation w/your hubby!! Thanks for sharing the pic's too!! emoticon

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This is What Happens

Thursday, April 15, 2010

This is what happens when you are at the precipice of Onederland. You do stupid things like weigh yourself every day, when you know how freaking counterproductive that is and just sends you on such a mindf*ck spiral of "Will it? Won't it?"

So it goes that I've completely broken my promise not to weigh myself every day.

I've gone from 201 to 202 to 201.5 to 200.5 to 202.

It's so stupid. I've hyped up this thing way too freaking much and I'm going to stop it right now. It'll happen eventually. It's one measly pound and I've lost 87 of them so far. I'm fitting into Size 14 pants from stores that I haven't shopped in since 9th grade. I have a pair of 12s for goodness sake! Last year at this time I was wearing Size 24 dress slacks to work and now I can squeeze into one of the pant legs of those babies like a Bad Diet TV Ad.

So what if I'm still in the 200s? So what? I'm DOING IT.

And I suddenly remembered I was going to do crunches and squats this month and started on them on Tuesday, and Owie Wowie, I am in some serious pain. I'm limping more because of the thigh pain than the ankle at this point.

I'm going on a weekend trip to NYC and I'm going to enjoy myself and I'll probably have a bagel and some drinks and a good meal out. But I'm going to walk and walk and walk some more. And I'm going to come back and hopefully I'll have healed completely and will be ready to run again.

Sorry for the rant. That's my little pep talk to myself.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EEKTHECAT 4/22/2010 7:52PM

    I totally do this and it depresses me. LOL
I feel your pain.

Congrats on reaching Onederland htough! Now no more obsessing!


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BBUG312 4/22/2010 3:48PM

    a few days late to comment but, I do the same thing, on the scale every day. and then I dont beleive it.. I think, well its less now because its morning but tonight will probably be right back up there. Then at night I say " well, lets see what it says in the AM"
So right now I have no idea how much I really weigh.. somewhere between 204 and 200lol

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BETTY925 4/21/2010 2:10PM

    I understand completely. I am right where you are. I finally busted ONEderland. Now I have to stay there. But I too weigh almost every day, sometimes twice. But I only count Friday as my official weigh in day. It is so hard to not weigh every day but I read somewhere that those who have kept it off usually do weigh every day. If it gets to be a big stressor I will stop...if I can.... he he.

You are going great! emoticon

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SPARKIN_REESIE 4/20/2010 8:08AM

    The scale can be so evil in its tempting ways! Yep, you should focus on the positives that you have accomplished, instead of that silly number fluctuating day in and day out. You have accomplished a lot and will continue to do so!

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WESTCOASTGIRL1 4/19/2010 7:56PM

    I do the same crazy scale thing and decided to only do it once a week. Much better... :)
Have fun in NYC and enjoy!
One-derland is waiting for you girl!

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MBSHAZZER 4/19/2010 1:25PM

    I love the perspective - what is one pound compared to 87?? LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the new profile pic, btw!

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DRRAZZ 4/19/2010 11:59AM

    Hide the scale before you drive yourself crazy!!! You will get there.

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GETFIT_101 4/19/2010 10:02AM

  I found this blog at the perfect time! I'm guilty of the same thing - I've been weighing myself everyday for the last week only to see disappointment. Your pep talk turned into a pep talk for me, too! Thanks!

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SUGIRL06 4/19/2010 9:45AM

    Back away from the scale!!! LoL. I get like that when I'm getting close to a certain number. We all do it! That's why I've made it a rule only to record weigh ins on the 1st of the month. Then all those in-between numbers don't count! Have fun in NYC!!!

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    Totally. And at the same scale point. It's been weeks -- with good excuses, but weeks nonetheless! Finally started to see some downward movement this weekend. Hope it continues.

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SANDALEIN 4/19/2010 6:45AM

    Yes, do have that self-talk! for some people, weighing daily works, for me it's the worst thing in the world. I get obsessive... and you know what? I don't even have a reliable scale or a reliable flat, hard surface to put it on. Even my kids weigh different things at different times of day depending on the exact spot we place the scales on... Stupid, isn't it? Good luck with your journey, you are doing great!

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    I think you're doing awesome and it's just a number. Like you said, you're fitting into pants you couldn't dream of before...that is HUGE!!!!! I am 8 lbs away from Onederland and I'll get obsessive about it I guarantee, but I'm really going to try not to. You'll make it there...just focus on all the positives you have done. And enjoy NYC...I went there once ten years ago and LOVED it. Can't wait to go back.

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LOVE_IS_LOUDER 4/16/2010 7:48PM

    I was in NYC last Friday!! If you're going to splurge, may I recommend a black and white cookie?? YUMMMM. ;o)

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REMEMBER2BME 4/16/2010 4:13PM

    You have a great weekend. Enjoy the NYC trip and start new on Monday girl. Behave while enjoying yourself. emoticon

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GERRY_ROSSO 4/16/2010 12:19PM

    I drove myself crazy that way.... Now I do it once a week. :)

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JWENZEL723 4/16/2010 11:43AM

    my dad would always weigh himself every day. isn't it crazy how much our weight fluctuates from day to day...even within the same day! hide the scale or have a friend hold onto it...don't let yourself be tempted! you're so almost there. it's going to be sweet bliss. :)

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SBHPATRICK 4/16/2010 10:36AM

    Oh, the m-f spiral - I know it well. Keep on keepin' on, chica!

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APRILB333 4/16/2010 12:01AM

    Hey we all need to pep talk ourselves up a little bit sometimes,it keeps us going. ;-) Hope you have an awesome time in NYC,you'll definitely get PLENTY of walking in,there's so much to see! Have a kicka$$ weekend!!

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DJS-DEBBIE 4/15/2010 9:23PM

    Have a great trip! Where in NYC will you be?

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ASIAMORA 4/15/2010 9:03PM

    You'll see that weight in no time. Its so hard waiting for it though. I remember doing the same thing. its like its some kind of magic number. 199. so simple, and yet so important in all of us over 200ers. You will have it. You can do it.

Have fun in NYC!!!

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SMYGIRL 4/15/2010 8:46PM

    You're human and guess what? It's OK! I'm my own worst enemy when it comes to the scale. I have a love/hate relationship with that thing like no other...
Thanks for being honest with yourself - it will happen, and then you'll be on to the next goal. Until then, like you said - you're doing it!! Plus you have a great weekend ahead - ENJOY!

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VALLOUGH 4/15/2010 8:40PM

    Woh, comment overload! Someone has probably said this by now, but YOU ROCK! Ok, someone has also probably said, I AM SO PROUD OF YOU! Seriously! I know it's suspenseful on that teetering edge into ONEderland, but egads, you are there! Standing on the precipice! About to dive into who knows what sort of adventures.

Why is ONEderland turning into Narnia all of a sudden? I guess the 200-sies was more like Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory for me, so I needed a more diet-friendly mythical land.

And not diet friendly, but please please let me live vicariously through you:

Famous Ray's Pizza topped with breaded eggplant slices

Brownstone Bagel and Bread salt bagel with chive cream cheese.

le sigh....

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TIME4AFITME 4/15/2010 8:31PM

    You are doing it and are doing great! You will get there most likely when you stop thinking about it so much. Have a great time in NYC!

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TRAVELNISTA 4/15/2010 8:29PM

    You know what, go enjoy NYC this weekend. I bet with what ever partying you do you jolt your metabolism and you will be in Onderland. At least that is how I hope it happens for you. You have done emoticon

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GOGETTERME 4/15/2010 7:41PM

    You'll make it when you stop caring so much;) I think the scale can sense your panic. If you are in NYC you MUST have a pizza for me. I moved from CT on the NYC border a year ago to FL and one of the biggest things I miss is the AMAZING pizza, bagels and ethnic food. You gotta eat in NYC! Live a little for me!

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NICKIJAY96 4/15/2010 7:29PM

    Rant away darlin! You came back to your senses LOL .. key words YOU'RE DOING IT! And you are such an encouragement to me!! Enjoy NYC!

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VIDABONITA 4/15/2010 7:28PM

    You ARE doing it? Ignore the scale for a while. Just keep on doing the eating healthy and exercising thing because it's not only what's going to get you to your goal, it's what's going to keep you there. Toss that scale out the window for a while. emoticon

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XHOOSIERLOSER 4/15/2010 7:15PM

    I know what you're saying. A couple of weeks ago I hit 201.2, then up to 204.6, this week down to 202.6! What is the deal!?! but I'm just going on with what I'm doing, pushing my workouts just the tiniest bit, but nothing out of line with what I can maintain. It WILL come, and you'll hear me all the way out on the east coast when I holler from central Illinois - Woo HOO!!!! I'll be listening for YOU!

emoticon emoticon

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DEFIANTVEGAN 4/15/2010 6:40PM

    Welcome aboard been there done that and even though I haven't done it everyday as of late I'm sure I will do it in the future, you just can't help to check it's the excitement because you know you are finally working at meeting your goal. emoticon

87 pounds is amazing and that is great.

Enjoy yourself it only happens once in awhile.

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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HEDDMCB 4/15/2010 6:35PM

    You are doing fabulous and it will come in time. Just in case you don't know ~ sometimes when you do an exercise routine for the first time in a while (squats and crunches) your body will be sore and will protect itself by holding fluid around the muscles that you worked. You could be holding on to more fluid than usual just due to the new exercise and this could explain why you are fluctuating. Enjoy NYC, it is wonderful this time of year!

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MARENAMOO 4/15/2010 6:31PM

    Someone else said in the comments - it will happen - what choice do you have. It is funny in a way - do you now say well I am not at 200 so gosh I am going to start eating again - this is too frustrating - no of course not. But that doesn't mean that those big milestones are not important. Is turning 21 the same as 23 - no they are both ages but 21 is significant. Breaking 200 is a big milestone - one you should be so proud of - it is freaking amazing. But you know so is everything else you do. And not just with the 90 pounds - awesome, and the change in clothes size - unbelievable - but your spirit and your willingness to lend a hand.

I really like working with new Spark people - encouraging them along. When one of them says I am too big to run - I say go to Karvy09 and see her accomplishments. And you know in a few days or weeks I check on them and there you are encouraging them in the comments. They are so excited that they are working on the C25K and that is all you. I don't have you as a friend since I can't run but I know that you are the best at helping people along. You are great at your bouncebackablity factor and your ability to relate to people

So I would be impatient too if I were you about reaching a huge milestone but in my eyes you reached a bigger goal in how you reach out to others. Have a great trip.

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GRACEISENUF 4/15/2010 6:24PM

    I hope you have the best time ever in New York....MMM a bagel sounds great to me!

You are such an inspiration to SO many people and look how far you've come. God willing you will live in Onderland for a very long time my friend. You will be there before you know it!

So glad you are my spark friend!


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MANDAO97 4/15/2010 6:23PM

    It's that whole 'a watched pot never boils' thing. Maybe when you're eating a bagels and having some social drinks you'll get there. Things just work out that way sometimes. That one pound is still just a pound - but we'll be here to celebrate with you when you see the 1.

Congrats on the NSVs of size 14 & 12 pants - and being able to shop wherever you please.

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TADTURC 4/15/2010 6:18PM


Comment edited on: 4/15/2010 6:18:58 PM

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4EVERADONEGIRL 4/15/2010 5:56PM

    You are so right in coming to your senses! Girl - almost 90 pounds and you are worried about 1?? :-) It is kind of funny when you put it into perspective, isn't it? But how often do we do that? Way too often for sure!!!!!!!!!!!!

Girl - you go and have an AWESOME time in NYC! Enjoy the food, enjoy the sights and enjoy the energy! I bet when you stop worrying about that 1 pound it will just slip quiety away into the night with its tail between its legs! LOL

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EMILYBCRUZ 4/15/2010 5:55PM

    I think you are on the right track in the fact that you are completely aware that YOU ARE SO MUCH MORE THAN A NUMBER. I'm glad that you are looking at all that you have accomplished and trying not to be a slave to the scale, as difficult as that is. As always I am ridiculously proud of you and you will see that 1 before you know it. emoticon

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WISLNDR 4/15/2010 5:45PM

    Boy, you and I sure do travel the same path, don't we? It's coming, I know it. I say forget it and have a great weekend in NYC!

I dug out my rollerblades from a previous life and, weather permitting, plan on trying them out this weekend. I found a place about 30 minutes from my weekend life that offers zip-line and climbing wall tours (how did I not know about this?) and will figure out a time this summer that I can go with a group of my friends. I found a 5K or 10K run later in July that fits into my schedule. I'm giving up on that scale because there's fun stuff coming up that I'd rather think about! The scale will move even if I'm not on it!

By the way, are you using the WiiFit scale as your official measure? I find that I'm not as freaked out when I use the $30 bathroom scale that doesn't keep the record for all eternity.

Have a great weekend!


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ANDI571 4/15/2010 5:44PM

    You are doing incredible. I am so impressed with the size 14. I am in a 16 (if I can find a big 16) or 18 at a weight of 176. And from a 24 down to a 14, WOW. Good job!

Went I lost several years ago, I was reading out of Gwen Shambin's book, The Weigh Down Diet. She called the scale, the scale god. That was me. I not only weighed every day, I weighed twice a day. I could tell you in the evening what I would weigh the next morning. It was so sad.

Someone told me on here one day, the scale is a tool, that's all. Not something to be revered. That is so true.

You go, you are doing great.

Comment edited on: 4/15/2010 5:45:48 PM

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ONLY_AS_HIGH 4/15/2010 4:55PM

    Chin up, girlie! You are totally doing it (HAVE done it) and will continue to do it!!!!

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STEPHANON 4/15/2010 4:49PM

    Don't stress! Stress can make it difficult to shed weight! Good for you deciding to stop weighing all the time. That trip to NYC sounds exciting! Can't wait to hear about it.

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CAROLYN1213 4/15/2010 4:47PM

    I love you Christine!!! I did the very same thing! The more I wanted it, the more it eluded me! I'd get closer, then further, then plateau!!! Urgh!!! Then I would stress and want to give up or worse, try harder and almost starve myself. Nothing worked. So, I reviewed my accomplishments, took my measurements, redid my fitness evaluation and relaxed. Two weeks later, while I was not watching, I slid securely below that 200 mark, right into the middle of 190 - ville, where I have been camping out for a month now!!!

It will happen. What are the choices? You've got it right! I'm so glad to be on this journey with you!

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NIELSENSLADY 4/15/2010 4:40PM

    You go girl! I hope you have a blast in NYC!

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DREAMRUNR 4/15/2010 4:40PM

    TRUST me I know. I have been there. It seems like the 1lb is harder to lose than all the others. But you are on your way!
Go enjoy NY and try not to focus on the crazy weight bouncing.

And a size 12 is AMAZING. I haven't tried any on yet, but I think I need to take a side trip this weekend.

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GREENSCRAPCAT 4/15/2010 4:36PM

    I still am addicted to the scale and have actually had my daughter hide it on me. I know, stupid. But you are doing super great!

Keep up the good work and have a great time in NYC!

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AHEALTHIERME9 4/15/2010 4:30PM

    lol, Karvy, you make me laugh... And I love your thinking-out-loud rants, so keep them coming!

I think you just had a breakthrough... And don't fault yourself for having been so excited to get to Onederland. You are just bursting with excitement for that day and that's a good thing! But it's also a good thing that you realized that you were starting to obcess about it and that the weighing in daily has caused nothing but frustration for you during your anticipation...

Realizing that it's not about that number on the scale is a tremendous breakthrough... Relishing in wearing a size 12 IS A HUGE DEAL!!!! Gosh, a SIZE 12!!!!! WOOHOO!!!!

Thank you for reminding me to take a little time to celebrate all that is different today and all that is better... It truly is about progress and not perfection!

And when you do get to Onederland -- AND TRUST ME, YOU WILL -- we will all be here to cheer you on and clap and cheer and scream and cry together!


e emoticon

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KYMMC3 4/15/2010 4:22PM

    Dam Scale! Horray for the size 14's though! You have come SO far. Screw the scale!! LOL Have fun and enjoy NYC

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HOSTALADY 4/15/2010 4:10PM

    As always I enjoyed your blog! The scale can be so fickle and yet a lot of us use it as if it was the end sayer of what we have accomplished on our journeys. I fight mine a lot of times and it is what it is. Our bodies, I believe do know what is going on and your special day will be here and what a celebration that will be!
You are doing AWESOME my friend!

Comment edited on: 4/15/2010 4:16:35 PM

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TEAM-SARAH 4/15/2010 3:52PM

    I'm glad you have taken control and broken this cycle before it got out of hand. Last summer when I was close to under 200 I wanted to see it so bad. I would weigh myself constantly (especially right after I exercised). I would get home from a workout and I'd be thirsty but I wouldn't drink before I stepped on the scale so I could see a lower number (so so stupid, I know). I'd weigh myself, then do it again, and again. I'd be convinced the scale was wrong so I'd move it to a different area of the apartment and weigh myself again.... oh god. It's so unbelievably silly and now I can't believe I behaved that way! You WILL get there, just keep doin what you're doing. Its great that you started in with some strength training. You will be especially pleased with the results now that you're getting slimmer and you'll be able to see yourself getting toned and not simply smaller.

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CATHERINEL66 4/15/2010 3:49PM

    I too am guilty of the daily weighing. :( Stupid scale ... I hear it calling my name!

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BOOTS1221 4/15/2010 3:41PM

    You can rant anytime you please girl!!! Don't worry about the scale, I swear they have minds of their own. I know though, it's sooo hard to stay away. When the time comes that you make that step over you will feel soooo good, and the wait will be worth it because you're working hard and doing it the right way!

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Voted Popular Blog Post: View All Popular Posts

What's Your Bouncebackability Factor?

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

I've been thinking a lot about bouncebackability, a person's resillience and ability to rebound from life's unexpectedly sad, anger-inducing, and terrifying twists and turns.

It's basically a fancy term for having a positive attitude. The higher your factor, I think the more successful you will be in this journey. How many blogs have you read on SP which state "I failed"? Sometimes I will run across a person's page on here and there will be a blog with the word "fail" in it from about three or more months ago and then NOTHING after that.

I fail a lot of the time. I fail to make deadlines, both others' and self-imposed. I fail to tick off items on my to-do list. I fail at making a healthy choice sometimes. I fail to be the person that everyone needs me to be all of the time.

It sounds so negative. I FAILED! To quote my favorite cats who love cheezburgers: "Oh noes!"

We are all going to fail hundreds of times in our life, sad to say. None of us is perfect. I don't think we should be blasé about failure or crises emotional or otherwise, but the more we dwell on it, the more we sink and the harder it is to bounce back.

I think there are three options in response to every crisis. We either freak out, withdraw, or move on. Moving on doesn't mean we have to face every horrible things with a smile or a peaceful expression plastered on our face. I'm not saying everyone should approach life as a Vulcan, of course. Everyone's allowed to curse, vent, cry, or whatever emotional response best suits the event. But after that initial reaction, what do you do? Do you have it in you to move on?

I'll be honest. I totally didn't. I always either withdrew or freaked out when something bad happened. I ended friendships over petty fights and held grudges. I was super tough on myself. Everything that was even a tiny bit negative reflected on my worth as a person. I "cheated" on my diet (back in the diet days) and I was weak-willed and would always be a fat and lazy person. If I got sick or injured before a big event, it was God telling me that I didn't deserve to be happy. A boyfriend dumped me and I was destined to be alone for all eternity.

On Sunday, I got a glimpse at the old me who used to freak out. Falling on one's face before a race and being unable to run in the sunshine sucked big time. For a second, I thought about going home, making some nachos or getting some ribs and drowning my sorrow in food. But I was able to disassociate myself from that thinking. I posted a status update from my phone on SP and was overwhelmed with positivity. You guys seriously helped me big time on Sunday. Thanks so much!

I'm not Wonder Woman. This was one positive example of bouncing back. I'm not going to be able to do this all the time. And I think recognizing our humanity and our propensity for failure is the most important thing we can learn here.

So cry, scream, yell. But then move on. Bounce back.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ALG5171 4/22/2010 11:27AM

    Very inspiring! ...I'm going to try to remember this next time I'm craving and reaching.

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JRIMM4 4/20/2010 5:06PM

    emoticon endeavoring to be a rubber bouncy ball!


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WEIGHTWAR 4/19/2010 1:30PM

    emoticonI'm quite inspired...

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SACGIRL 4/18/2010 2:39PM

    Very inspiring! Thank you!

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CM70830 4/18/2010 11:18AM

    Thank you so much for this post. As I move along my new lifestyle (6 weeks in, yeah!), I am realizing how important it is to bounce back. I always thought the goal should be to not let the bad things get to you, but I realize now it is ok to let yourself experience the emotion and then move on.

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DATARN 4/18/2010 10:36AM

    Thanks for this. I started bike riding last weekend - and friends took me to a trail that they said was really easy. It was a total of 16 miles - and it was not easy to me!!! I fell about 4 times - and the last time was the worst. I did make it the entire distance but I am a little afraid to try again. BUT - after my knee heals, I am ready to try - and to lower my expectations. I won't do 16 miles again until I am ready!! Thanks for the bounceability word.

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  This is lovely and yes it does give perspective to our failures. Juat now I am thinking of Edison's failures. Everyone of them brought him forward to his amazing results. G-d bless, everyone.

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LAURALITE 4/18/2010 3:24AM

    Pre-planning for HOW you're going to bounce back, even before you fail, also helps with resilience.
I love your "bouncability" term!

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LEISUREOLOGIST 4/18/2010 12:50AM

  After 6 weeks I broke down today and ate 6 french fries. Worse I "knicked" them when my wife wasn't looking at her food. Eating them was no big deal but "knicking" them was! I bounced back. Love the term. Got nicely forgiven too! emoticon

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WALKINGDAVE 4/17/2010 11:28PM

    I really like you bounceability, it`s a great word and thought. I haven`t thought of myself as a failure for a while now but I was questioning my ability to lose because we have been very busy and not sitting down to proper healthy meals. This week, I was determined to bounce back and do it right, can`t wait to see how I did on Wednesday. Have a great week. Love your blogs emoticon

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GRACEISENUF 4/17/2010 11:03PM

    Move forward...pressing onward, it's one of life's lessons that I finally get now in my fifties! :) Better late than never, right? LOL!

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GOODHAPPENS1 4/17/2010 6:02AM

    emoticon emoticonagain

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JUDYBLUE9 4/17/2010 12:43AM

    I cannot put into words what this blog did for me. To make a long story short, I really messed up big time with a little thing, and then the emotional "I'm a failure," then the emotional binging. For some reason I decided to go log onto SP and it was as though love and understanding reached out and put its warm arms around me--tomorrow will be better. So often we think we are all alone with how we feel...until we see that we aren't. This was so helpful. It meant so much, really. Good one!

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LOVE_2_RUN 4/16/2010 10:46PM

    Thanks for this blog! I had a really bad day today and this helped give me a new perspective on my so called failure. Thanks! ~Leslie

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JANNISH 4/16/2010 8:25PM

  Thanks for the post.

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BABSRA302 4/16/2010 5:54PM

    Well said! I really needed this today. Thank you. Next time you might surprise yourself and positively bouncback again!


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GRYPHON55 4/16/2010 4:16PM

    Thanks for putting into words what I've been thinking the last few days. I eased off from the strict "track everything, exercise every day" thing I'd been doing, and was starting to beat myself up for failing. Then I decided it was really a case of me falling into black and white thinking, either I'm 100% perfect or I'm a failure. And that's not reality.

So I'm bouncing back - I like that phrase of yours and the big ball of rubber bands. It gives me a visual to use when I need it!

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BAREADER 4/16/2010 3:13PM

    One of the most important lessons I learned on Sparkpeople is to pick myself up and keep going! I know others who need to know this too; that falling and failing are not the same thing.

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TIGGRRR46 4/16/2010 1:58PM

    I really, REALLY needed this today! Thank you! emoticon

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HAPPYPATTY1 4/16/2010 1:35PM

    You are so right! I have a spark friend who hit a rough patch and went from blogging every two-three days to once a month or less - and now they are always apologies.

She is a warning for me... that DONE doesn't mean done -- it means a new phase. That a set back doesn't need to mean a derailment...

thanks for the thoughts - they're great!

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ANGIEMEL 4/16/2010 1:29PM

    Yep.. that's me.. failed... vanished..

... time will tell... emoticon

waaaah.. (wink!)

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TEMPEST272002 4/16/2010 1:07PM

    I needed to find this post today. Thank you!

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RUNNINGDREAMER 4/16/2010 12:33PM

  Thank you. I needed to read this today.

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CLSSWAN 4/16/2010 11:16AM

    Terrific information, I completely agree, there is no place in this world for perfectionism!!

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EMILY-THE-GOOD 4/16/2010 10:43AM

    Great post!

I've often thought that if I talked to everyone else the way I talk to myself, I wouldn't have a friend in the world.

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BASTET0330 4/16/2010 10:00AM

    Putting a LOLCat in there might actually be the central theme of the post -- a little laughter( even if it is at at yourself) and the willingness to see the relative unimportance of mini-fails is probably the biggest weapon against giving up. (Says me, with my current zero pounds lost, but, hey.) (Also, totally swiping that kitty pic!)

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LJONES23 4/16/2010 8:30AM

    I absolutely love this!!! Thanks for giving me a lot to think about this morning. Very wise words!!!

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MISTYSMOM06 4/16/2010 7:07AM

    Very good post. I especially like the "kitties pic". I am able to have a positive attitude on a daily basis. God is doing awesome things in my life! I give all the Glory to Him.

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GIRLYGIRL54 4/16/2010 6:20AM

    emoticon Thank you!

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REGAN49 4/16/2010 5:53AM


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LORISEVERANCE 4/16/2010 12:24AM

    Some great thoughts. Thank you! Love the pic of the colorful ball of rubber bands! Such a cheerful image of resilience!

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SHERRYK5 4/16/2010 12:02AM

    You said it! We all feels at one time or another.

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  great words....I've seen the worst where kids never know what it is like to fail and then when it happens for the first time...their world caves in and they can't get on with life.

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VALLOUGH 4/15/2010 8:53PM

    Um, you are the greatest.


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FRUGALFOODIE 4/15/2010 8:32PM

  Great post! Why are we so good at showing compassion for others but forget ourselves?

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SWOMIC 4/15/2010 8:16PM

    Great blog, thank you.

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LDIGGS 4/15/2010 7:32PM

    Great Blog!

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AHEALTHIERME9 4/15/2010 7:10PM

    Brava!!!! Loved it and well said!!! emoticon

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RUNNINGACTOR 4/15/2010 6:48PM

    Couldn't agree more! I've had a delayed bounce back this time, but things haven't gotten so out of control that they can't be brought back. This post made me smile (especially the kittens!) and reminded me that a positive attitude is 90% of success

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HEALTHYSASSY 4/15/2010 5:40PM


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JESSIEAUDREY 4/15/2010 4:46PM

    I am all about the power of positive thinking. Everyday life can certainly throw us a curve or two. I also am a strong believer that everything happens for a reason. It's what you do with life challenges that makes us stronger. As a cancer survivor, trust me... I know!

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GODDESSGIBSON 4/15/2010 4:33PM


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GLAMOURGIRL-9 4/15/2010 4:24PM


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CAROLYN1213 4/15/2010 4:09PM

    How did I almost miss out on this yummy little treat of a blog?!!! I never want to miss another episode of your shared wisdom!!!

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VXWALL1942 4/15/2010 3:02PM

    Wow - what a way you have with words. I'm inspired! I'm motivated! I CAN do it! I don't have to accept failure. I can learn from it. Not doing my exercise? Just an "oh no" moment and I can go from there onward and upward.

Thanks so much for sharing today!

vicki emoticon

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DOPKIGIRL 4/15/2010 2:55PM

    Well said and a good blog to add to my favorites for those moments!!

Thanks!! I wish I could motivate with words, as others do so well.

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REINVENT_ME 4/15/2010 2:54PM

    I wish I could "favorite" this blog and go back to it when I feel tempted to just give up!

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NANAMEL57 4/15/2010 2:53PM

    Good post!

I have contemplated this over the years, what is it that makes one person triumph and another person withdraw? Why can one person get through unimaginable hardships with a positive attitude and another fall apart over the smallest of challenges? It all comes down to CHOICE, how you choose to allow things to effect you, how you choose to live your life, but it basically comes down to the choice whether it is a positive attitude that you choose, or a "I am going to do it in spite of everyone else" choice or the choice to move on that allows you to bounce back. We all have to choose carefully, we must choose better. As Ms. VanSant says "We know better so we can do better!"

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AUNTRANDOM 4/15/2010 2:52PM

    Yes! A stumble is never a failure - there is always some opportunity to pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and move forward. Now, if only I can convince myself of that when I stumble!!
Thanks for the great food for thought!

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46SHADOW 4/15/2010 2:34PM

    Working ot it actively-depends what comes your way....

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Sigh of Disappointment

Monday, April 12, 2010

Those of you who read my status update yesterday now know that no, I did not make it to my second 5K of the season, and yes, it was because I tripped on a chunk of the road while WALKING to the start line. Nobody saw me (thank God) but honestly, I was humiliated enough on my own even without having others see.

Of course, the weather was gorgeous. Mid 60s with a nice warm breeze! And of course, I was PUMPED. More pumped than I was about any race, I think. The St. Patrick's Day one, I was trepiditious about because of the downpour. I was nervous about my Thanksgiving one because it was running on grass and would be my first post-C25K run. And of course, there are always butterflies before your first 5K. But this one, I felt confident and ready, despite the hilly course I was about to tackle.

I parked at my aunt's house about a quarter mile from the start line and planned to do a brisk warm up walk to the race. I was dressed in my bright orange Sparkpeople t-shirt ready to meet up with CELESTIALAXIS (go congratulate her for her first 5K run BTW!) and ADAMM9 for the 5K, and bam. I stepped on that chunk of road with my right foot, twisted my ankle, lost my balance and fell forward, scraping up my left knee and tearing up my hand.

My first thought was, "Oh well, I fell. I can still run." But as soon as I stood up, I realized it wasn't happening. So I went back to my aunt's house and cleaned up my scrapes, and thought maybe at least I could walk the course. But within 10 minutes, my ankle seized up and that was it. So I sat on the porch with an ice pack and ace bandage and actually WATCHED the runners go past (her house is on the route) until the tears came and went home.

It's not a horrible sprain. I can walk slowly without crutches. Stairs are tough. It's the sprain I've gotten dozens of times before. Before I had to go and jinx myself by telling a co-worker last week that "since I started running, I haven't had an ankle sprain at all!" D'oh!

When I got home, I burst into tears again. This time, I got really freaked out because I'm on the precipice of such a big milestone (199) and I took a rest day on Saturday in anticipation of my race (catching up on work and chores), would end up being sedentary on Sunday and for maybe even a couple of days after that and I know for a fact that my exercise schedule is what allows me to keep my sanity and not stress out about calories so much. I had 1600-1700 calorie days on the weekend but figured I'd have all week to make it up! I also went to an anniversary dinner party afterwards and ate well -- I had an ahi tuna steak and grilled veggies with a small "light" Caesar (and yes, it actually was "light!" No eggs and minimal cheese and very refreshing!) but I did have a small piece of cake as well -- but I was expecting to burn at least 600 calories during the race and felt horribly guilty afterwards.

I know, it's silly. I can't tell you how many times I've comforted Sparkers who have endured injuries that have sidelined them and here I am crying and bitterly disappointed over a race when there will be dozens, hundreds of other races. Somehow I feel like it's an ignoble injury though. Like, I didn't get hurt running up a hill or biking or some other highly physical activity. I was like 50 feet away from my car, simply walking!

Anyways, this isn't a cry for sympathy, but I wanted to show that despite the bulk of my blogs being highly positive, I do have my low moments and this was one of them. I think I will skip exercise today and eat low in my range and hopefully tomorrow I will be OK for at least a swim or some light cycling and will be fine for the large amount of walking I hope to do in NYC this upcoming weekend.

I hope everyone enjoyed their weekend!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MAYANA 4/22/2010 6:29AM

    you can cry if you want i have a big shoulder and its ok too as long as you dry your tears later and put on yr walking shoes..sometimes i feel so frustrated and i cry real tears but i have learnt to never give up..keep it girl you are doing wonderfully emoticon

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CHERYLE51 4/15/2010 9:36PM

    That is soooo terrible about your fall. The key is you are so motivated. I am not motivated at all lately. I have been not feeling as tired as I was, but still have not motivated myself to do any exercise. I do get a little in at work, but not enough. I am very depressed at myself right now. I feel fat and just don't know where to begin again. Keep up the good work, you will be running again in no time.

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DOPKIGIRL 4/15/2010 2:53PM

    Sorry to hear about your incident. Things like this happen but you are NOT giving up and tomorrow is a new day! Hope you get back on your feet in no time.

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TECHGIRL22 4/14/2010 4:16PM

    That is disappointing. Hope you feel better soon. My husband and I seem to injure ourselves all the time now doing non-eventful things like walking, scratching, reaching...ridiculous. Have to tease each other about it and move on...
Baby steps...

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CATHERINEL66 4/13/2010 3:06PM

    Injuries suck, and if it makes you feel any better -- I totally FREAK out when I hurt myself and can't work out. It's a huge deal.

Glad it wasn't worse -- but still -- totally awful!

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EKKING 4/13/2010 11:46AM

    Sorry to hear about your misfortune! That stinks. Let me tell you I dislocated both knee caps. One when I was 16 standing at the kitchen sink washing dishes. The other at a Jimmy Buffet concert (Great Woods/Tweeter Center) because I got caught up in the blanket while standing and singing. Not really great injury stories are they??? Kind of pathetic actually.

We get past it. I've gotten no good exercise in weeks because of my knee, but I'm not going to shoot myself about it. I can't. It's better to mend then work out on an existing injury and possibly do more damage.

At least you know Sarah and Adam will be doing additional runs that you can join in on!

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MARATHONBOUND 4/13/2010 11:05AM

    Sorry to hear you injured yourself..you will be ok! You are so inspiring and you really have an amazing attitude! Keep up the good work! Thank you for all of your comments to me as well, I appreciate the support!

Take care,

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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EAGLEVALLEYDE 4/13/2010 10:45AM

    You are doing great. This is just a little set back (I have sprained my ankles so many times in my life, I don't know why I haven't learned to walk with them pointing in or out yet!)

I have heard that you can strengthen them by standing on one foot too.

You are inspiring me to get up and go so don't even worry about it! You will have many more races and it's best to let your body heal. You can lift weights and ride the bike maybe while it heals?

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ELISADEL 4/13/2010 9:46AM

    Once your ankle heals, supposedly they've done some studies that doing things like practicing standing on one foot can help you avoid further sprains. The idea is to help strengthen the small muscles in the ankle to make them better at stabilizing the joint, and also to help the brain get some practice at figuring out what orders it needs to issue to help maintain balance properly.

I had one of my feet slide out from under me the other day on a slippery spot on the floor and I eventually came down on my other knee. I didn't really hurt myself at all, but I definitely had a few minutes where I was thinking and just being horrified by how thin the line was between being okay and able to exercise and having some crazy flukey thing happen and being stuck out of working anything hard for weeks. I was so relieved to be okay, but I can really empathize with how horrible and kind of despairing I would have felt if it had gone differently. I hope that your ankle heals up fast.

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WYND10 4/13/2010 9:38AM


I am sorry this happened to you. I hope you are able to rest and recover, and don't stress about the calories, you're going to be ok.

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FINZFANATIC 4/13/2010 8:12AM

    That stinks!!! ARGH! Give it some time to heal and you'll be back in no time. You are so close to 199 and you will hit it very soon. When you do, this setback will be ancient history.

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KATIEGLEN012 4/13/2010 8:04AM

    Disappointment with a capital D! I feel your emotional and physical pain and SO TOTALLY understand being on the edge of 199. Remember this is a forward facing journey. On other weight loss adventures people look back...wish they hadn't eaten cake if only they had known they were going to sprain their ankle...but not us. We move steadily forward knowing that this was but a moment of darkness in a lifetime of joy!!!!

Feel better.

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CRUZAN9 4/13/2010 12:04AM

    That's too bad about your ankle. The fact that there will be more races to enter must be a comfort on some level. I've toyed with the idea of entering a bicycle race for amateur if it even exists.

I hope you have a good time in New York City. I personally am a big fan of Time Square and Virgin Records.

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ASIAMORA 4/12/2010 11:39PM

    That sucks. I hate ankle injuries. I feel your pain.
(3 severe sprains, 1 break, and countless twists.) You'll get out to another race. And you'll get past that 199 mark. Hope that ankle is better in no time! Remember RICE.


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MEGMENZY 4/12/2010 10:36PM

    You are a rockstar! I am really proud of you because you did the right thing.. You listened to your body. How often have we just pushed along just so that we can say we did it? But by making this choice you will be able to do more in the long run! Way to go! Tough decision to make!

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TBANMAN 4/12/2010 9:49PM

    Poor girl. Having just recovered from tearing every tendon in my left ankle, I know what you're going through. Take it slow and easy - you'll be back in no time.

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SARANGEREL 4/12/2010 7:30PM

    I'm sorry to hear this karvy but I know that you will bounce back soon enough! You've got the spirit! Just remind yourself how close you are to your goal and that even though you didn't get to run your 5k, you are about to cross an even bigger finish line very soon! Take care of that ankle so you can go burn some asphalt soon!
Be well

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  hope you're feeling better today! take care and rest up for your nyc walking!! ah, that sounds like major fun.. i'm hoping to go up there in december to see the christmas decorations/lights =)

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GOLFCHICK2-0 4/12/2010 5:03PM

    Have you ever looked into some lightweight ankle braces? I have a friend who has twisted or sprained her ankles many times. Without strengthening exercises or Physical Therapy, they tend to get looser and twist easier with time. She swears be these when she is working out.

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SMYGIRL 4/12/2010 4:30PM

    I'm so sorry to hear this happened! You are right about motivating others through these same types of situations - now it is time to sit back and let us take care of you! You're doing great and you've made it this far, life is bound to pop in at some point and say "hello, you need some shaking up!". Don't let this get you down - you'll get through the sprain and be back to yourself (and even better) in no time!!

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RUN2MYDREAMS 4/12/2010 4:30PM

    emoticon Take care of you Kristina!

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TRISH106 4/12/2010 4:27PM

    I am emoticon to hear of your fall and missing out on the big 5K you have been working and looking forward to.
I want to do the 5K walk here next month. I am a klutz and trip over my own two feet a lot. Hope you are on the mend and back in the groove soon.

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STEPHANON 4/12/2010 3:12PM

    So sorry to hear that happened to you! It's true there will be other races, but you were so psyched for that one, and it's got to be a HUGE letdown to have missed it.
Hope your week goes well anyway.

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MBSHAZZER 4/12/2010 3:06PM

    Awww, that is so frustrating! But you'll be back in fine form and running again before you know it. And who knows.. a little break could shock your system into dropping the weight once you're back to exercising!

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ITSHOWYOULIVE 4/12/2010 2:00PM

    There she is right below me, 4everadonegirl, my real life sis, who stole my words and said it better than I would anyways!! :P LOL!!! So sorry for the injury. Hope it heals quickly and you are back on track quickly. Like you said we have all been there. That is what makes Spark so totally awesome though-we all understand each other. We all get the highs and can cheer right along with those and totally get the lows and can cry right along with you on those too. Take care so you can burn mega calories walking around N.Y.C.(Just like my sis-total clutz too-it runs in the family-I've gone over the edge of the sidewalk and tripped on so many uneven sidewalks it is totally hilarious!!-I would have gone down in front of everybody and gotten trampled in the process!)

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ROOT4HOME 4/12/2010 1:58PM

    I felt like I was there crying with you!! How awful...hope your ankle is healing and feeling better today! Rest up and don't let it get you too down!! emoticon

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4EVERADONEGIRL 4/12/2010 1:31PM

    Girl - what a bummer!! But you are right - there will be many more races in your future. I couldn't help realizing though that if it had been ME, I would have gone down at the start line in front of EVERYONE!! LOL I am a total klutz and it wouldn't have been the first time I went down. :-)

So my point is - we all go through it! And we all do what you did - cry about it but pick ourselves up, dust off and get moving again...just as soon as we can!

emoticon Take care of yourself!!

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JBMT08 4/12/2010 12:44PM

    Aw, I am sorry that you didnt get to participate in your race...like you said there are literally HUNDREDS of other races that you can and will participate in. Accept what happened and move on. We still love you, and most importantly, YOU still love YOU. YOU love YOU enough to continue on with your life style! emoticon

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APRILB333 4/12/2010 12:31PM

    Aw,bummer. That stinks,but all I can say is,at least you didn't do what my mom did last summer lol. She was standing up on a wet chair to get one of our cats that was fully capable of getting herself down,when she slipped and fell and literally broke her ankle with her own a$$! lol All she did was fall off the chair and land on her butt and she broke her ankle and a minor break in her leg too. So at least you didn't break anything,and were in route to do something great. =]

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SIRCATNIP1 4/12/2010 12:29PM

    Cardio idea for you: hula hoop!

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JWENZEL723 4/12/2010 12:26PM

    HUGE bummer, and i totally understand where you're coming from. it's not comforting to hear "it's just a race" because we train, both mentally and physically, and when it doesn't happen...it's a hit to both of those! you're allowed to be disappointed and upset. the good news is that 5ks happen all the time. you are trained and ready and should sign up for another one soon so you can get back in there!

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PURPLEMISS 4/12/2010 12:26PM

    When you reach your goal weight, you'll be able to inspire others by telling them how you didn't let this stop you, how you just plowed on and got there anyway. Any challenge now will only make you stronger. You can so do this. I'm so sorry for the frustration you feel and for the absolutely legitimate tears. You will get up and run again, and soon. You rock!

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1BIGDREAM 4/12/2010 12:13PM

    This reminds me of the time in college when I was so excited to play Capture the Flag that I was jumping up and down and fell in a hole and got a horrible sprained ankle before we even split up the teams. I was so excited, and then so crushed. And then I walked around for weeks feeling stupid.

The good news is that the ankle healed, and now I have kind of a funny story to tell. You will always remember the 5K you DIDN'T run because you sprained your ankle on the way there!

Heal fast and hang in there!

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MANDAO97 4/12/2010 12:02PM

    Maybe you can do lots of punches to get in some cardio and get out some frustrattion. hehe. Only half kidding though.

I am really bummed to hear about your ankle and missing your race. I would have reacted the exact same way. We may know all the rational things we would tell other people in the same situation - and believe them - but it's emotional! You work so hard every day at this and setbacks like that are frustrating. You will reach Onederland - and you'll get there soon. When I was sick the other week and couldn't workout I just kept my cals right around 1200 and I still lost.

I hope you heal up quickly and have a fabulous weekend in NY!

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WANDAC2013 4/12/2010 11:53AM

    Just one more thing in your journey that WON'T defeat you and WILL inspire us to keep going, no matter what....and also will make you even more proud of yourself!

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CELESTIALAXIS 4/12/2010 11:50AM

    I'm SO sorry! That sucks so bad and I know I would have been a wreck if I had to skip that race. I missed you and hope to run with you soon! If not, I'll definitely see you at the Walk for Hunger May 2 and the Melrose race on May 9, but if you're feeling up to it, a practice run soon would be awesome! Running with others definitely helped motivate me. =) Feel better soon!


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FLGIRL1234 4/12/2010 11:45AM

    Boy can I relate. I tore my quad right before my first 5K last month and I was so upset about it. I remember feeling so let down by myself and upset that it tore me up inside. Just know it does get better, the sun comes back out and you will be better and stronger then before because of it. Your determination will kick into high gear!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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TEAM-SARAH 4/12/2010 11:39AM

    I know that you know it's only a tiny tiny setback in the grand scheme of things, so I don't even need to tell you that. It really really sucks that you're hurt and that you didn't get to run the race. It might not matter in the grand scheme of things but it REALLY matters right now. So go ahead, sulk a bit, you'll get back on your feet. Your high calorie ranges of 1600-1700 are still ONLY 1600-1700 calories. You're doing fantastic and you will continue to do so in spite of this. Take it easy, maybe you'll find something new you enjoy in the process!

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MOMJMGR 4/12/2010 11:36AM

    emoticon dang that is such a personal disappointment I am sure but you were so ready to do it and would have done a great job. You will do wonderful on your next run. Chin up girl and let it heal well so you will be back on the road pain free soon. emoticon

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CHICAT63 4/12/2010 11:36AM

    Oh, I am so sorry - My tears welled-up just thinking about what happened to you. You're entitled to cry, to be frustrated, etc. You need to focus on resting and recuperating your ankle and your next 5K will come soon enough. Don't let this get you down, bisous ! Josée emoticon

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EMBRACE_SUCCESS 4/12/2010 11:33AM

    Sorry to hear about your ankle-- I'm glad it's not too serious & I hope that it won't keep you from running for long.
Thanks for sharing your experience. It sounds like you've dealt with it well! You felt your feelings, recognized that your ankle needs rest, & made a plan that will help you heal more quickly while still working to reach your goals. You've got this!


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LADYINOHIO 4/12/2010 11:32AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon the kisses are for your poor ankle!

Take this time to work on your core, or upper body, stuff that like.
Take it in stride, as best you can.
And turn to your sparkfriends, like you did here, when it is really getting you down.
You got it girl.

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RACHEL_MAC 4/12/2010 11:31AM

    Aww, honey, I totally understand. You are putting a lot of pressure on yourself, I'm sure it's the milestone ahead, but you are doing an amazing job and you have to look back at how far you've come and be able to appreciate that. Life gets in the way sometimes, but you're going to pick yourself right back up, navigate around this injury, and be doubly proud of yourself when you don't let it derail you. Keep up tracking nutrition, maybe cut off 200 calories a day to make up for the inactivity, start lifting upper body only, do what you can, and you'll be back in the swing of things in no time :)

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ADVENTURE-GIRL 4/12/2010 11:30AM

    Sorry that you missed your 5k and got injured. Like you said there will be so many more to come. I sprained my ankle a few years ago and I always fear that I will sprain it again. Take it easy so it can properly heal.

Comment edited on: 4/12/2010 11:30:20 AM

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BURGHGIRL 4/12/2010 11:27AM

    I am so sorry you did not make it to your race....but look at it this way....you signed up for the race, and you were going *to* the race....and that is what counts. Things happen. Life happens. But think of all those people who do not run (or een think about running), who are not in good enough shape to run 5Ks yet.....and there YOU are.....able to finish a 5k, looking forward to the run and being disappointed in not running. Now look back to your attitude/strength before you began this journey. DO you see how much of a winner you really are right now, despite not running this weekend? emoticon.

Hope you heal fast and are back on your feet in no time!!!

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TIFFANIE150 4/12/2010 11:25AM

    emoticon I am sorry about your injury.

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NIELSENSLADY 4/12/2010 11:24AM

    Hey Girl!

I am sorry about your fall! I hope the ankle heals soon. I know you aren't down and out though!

I wonder if you can handle a stationary bicycle! Those are relatively low impact. Tape up the ankle and bike some miles. It's easy on the joints and great for the quads.

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JUST_SIMONE 4/12/2010 11:22AM

    Sorry to hear about your injury and disappointment. My worst injuries have happened while walking. I had a horrible sprain that resulted in being put in a cast(!) after stepping off a curb wrong. I felt pathetic.

I had to giggle when you wrote there are always butterflies before your first 5K. Somehow I wasn't thinking the nervous kind of butterflies, but rather that there is kind of a tradition of seeing butterflies fluttering around before a 5K. I have my airhead moments, but I do like the imagery too.

Take care of your ankle and let it rest. I hope you heal up quickly!

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EVRLNGFOO 4/12/2010 11:19AM

    I'm sorry to hear about your injury. Take it easy and you'll be better in no time! swimming sounds like a fantastic idea. You'll do awesome at the next race!

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YOOVIE 4/12/2010 11:18AM

    emoticon to make it all better?

I'm sorry about that disappointment. My first 10K I woke up to flooding and thunderstorms and couldnt do it. But falling? that's way worse, I'm sorry things didnt go like you'd hoped. I hope you feel better soon!

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