KARSTASAURUS   10,181
SparkPoints
10,000-14,999 SparkPoints
 
 
KARSTASAURUS's Recent Blog Entries

A Tiny Yoyo!

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Life is busy at the moment and the last two months have been pretty hectic and it's taken a toll on my journey - but not as much of a toll as it would have been in the past! Keep positive!

Last week I had an audition for a musical and while I did end up getting a part it's certainly not the role that I wanted! The director straight up told me it was because she couldn't envision the character as anything other than "petite". Now don't get me wrong, I could never be petite even if I was as thin as a rake and I know that she isn't the sort of person who would ever be sizest! Casting is a difficult thing because you do want vocal as well as visual variety and the other main parts have a similar size and shape to me so it would look weird. Regardless it's lit a fire beneath my butt! I may be a supporting character/ensemble role now but by god by the time the show comes I'm going to be kicking some serious ass in that choreography!

No more "you have the voice, but not the body" for this girl!

In the beginning I'd been able to stay around the 188 - 192 mark and it was fine but through lack of thought and going back to my old ways I ended up peaking at about 202 and then finally coming back down below 200 again.

This just emphasizes to me that I have to be actively aware of the changes that I have to make in my life if I want to:
A.) Be healthy and happy
B.) Get down to a manageable weight
C.) Have a sustainable and stable lifestyle

A lot of my old habits started coming back in:
A.) Eating out a lot
B.) If I was in a rush I'd just grab something that I craved rather than what I knew my body needed
C.) If I was good all day then I'd allow myself a binge at night
D.) I would eat when I was just thirsty

So it's back to basics and I love a good list!

Here are my main focuses for the moment:

1.) Do 3 hours of running or dancing per week
2.) Eat between 1400 and 1600 calories per day
3.) Drink the amount of water that I know I need
4.) Go to pilates every week

If I stick to that then I'll definitely see a change and I know it's sustainable!

I have a holiday in November and I would like to be able to run a 5k by then and also be between 180-185 which is more than attainable even if I have a few blips in my plan.

So yes, I'm back and I'm focused!

And don't forget ladies:



  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MERAINA 9/17/2014 12:50PM

    emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIPISONO 9/16/2014 11:42AM

    Fall down seven times, stand up eight! I also fell off the wagon after losing quite a bit of weight but I'm back on it now. You just have to keep moving forward. Good attitude and good luck! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
TENNISJIM 9/16/2014 6:16AM

    You can do it

Report Inappropriate Comment


ONEderland is in sight and building a recipe book!

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

I am 9.6 lbs away from ONEderland.

.... wait what?!?!?!

It feels mental. I'm a bit beside myself about it really. I haven't been below 200lbs since I was like 16 - I am now 25.

I've been on spark for a very long time and decided to backtrack through all my previous weigh-ins and the lowest that I can find is 209.2 in the summer of 2012 which is my lowest weight as an adult. All I can think is - how did I let myself get back off track after getting that close???

I shouldn't beat myself up about that though, so much of this journey is mental/emotional and I've done a lot of growing up over the past year and my newfound inner strength is what's giving me the motivation and the perseverance to do this.

In order to give myself the tools that I need to lose the weight (and more importantly maintain my weight!) I have been building a recipe book of different recipes. I'm incredibly interested in Paleo/Primal recipes. Not because I plan on living my life without eating carbohydrates - that's not really fair and I want to be able to have an open diet without worrying about that sort of thing all the time. But I love the idea of eating clean and making things from scratch. I know that bread/pasta is my nemesis so I'm compiling lots of recipes for alternative flours or vegetable substitutes.

Currently I really want to start making my own bacon - the stuff you buy in store is packed full of salt - plus in the UK it's not that easy to find streaky/American style bacon. So I'm going to buy a pork belly and try to make my own! Yikes!

I'm also going to experiment with some vegan baking!

emoticon emoticon emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LEANMEAN2 8/8/2014 6:57AM

    Good for you. Keep on keeping on.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MEWHENRYSMAMA 8/7/2014 9:33PM

    What a great idea! I, too, have started to make one as I see things, know one day I will want it, so bought a lovely bound notebook and have started to write them down!
Congrats on your success and good luck on your goals...I will watch you and cheer you on!
Hugs,
Mary

Report Inappropriate Comment
BESSHAILE 8/7/2014 7:04AM

    You will find lots of interesting things in a vegan diet. It will be interesting to hear how the bacon experiments turn out. cool. but American style bacon is also salty.

You really are a cutie pie and woo woo on your tremendous weight loss!

Report Inappropriate Comment
EUEK098 5/1/2014 1:12PM

    I love British bacon aka Back Bacon. Always look forward to it when I'm visiting my brother.

Report Inappropriate Comment
FOXXYROXXYD 4/30/2014 9:27AM

    With any luck (on my part) we may reach onederland around the same time! I was there before and even 30 pounds beyond it but ... well. Here I go again. Congrats on all your hard work!! You got this!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MELONSCALE 4/23/2014 7:32AM

    I can't wait until I'm that close! You're right, no sense dwelling on what's happened in the past. You should be SO proud of yourself for all you have accomplished! Go you! The recipe book sounds like a great idea! Kind of takes the thinking out of completely planning your menu...just pick a recipe! Keep up the good work!

Report Inappropriate Comment
TENNISJIM 4/23/2014 6:29AM

    Congrats.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BRAINYBLONDE5 4/22/2014 4:10PM

    wooohooo this is so exciting! keep it up!

Report Inappropriate Comment
XMISSX 4/22/2014 2:00PM

    I am really digging the "everything from scratch" thing as well... I have yet to change my eating habits or start an exercise program... I was taking baby steps and decide a good way to start with would be eating everything I usually eat but making it from scratch using only organic products... nothing processed, nothing chemically grown, no pesticides etc.... I COULD NOT BELIEVE that I lost weight... its makes you wonder what you were really putting into your system before huh?

GO YOU! I AM PROUD!

xoxox!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RACEWELLWON 4/22/2014 11:28AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BATCHICK 4/22/2014 11:19AM

    You are doing GREAT! I think you have the right attitude about your journey and I love the idea of making your own bacon! Let us know how that goes.

Report Inappropriate Comment
PCOH051610 4/22/2014 8:04AM

    Awesome job!

Report Inappropriate Comment
WHYNOTJ1 4/22/2014 8:03AM

    Hooray for you! You'll be there soon!

Report Inappropriate Comment


Persecution of my VLCD.

Thursday, April 03, 2014

So today for the first time, someone spoke negatively about my current program of weight loss. I knew it would come at some point - it always does! But I didn't expect it from this person and I certainly didn't expect the brutality of the comments either.

But it's okay. I knew it would happen because what I'm doing is on the extreme end but I need it.

I have a food addiction. I am an emotional eater. I comfort eat. I eat when I'm bored. That's how I got as large as I did.

And despite what a lot of people say, it's not just as easy as being more conscious of what you eat because guess what - by the time you gain the amount of weight I did - it's become habit.

Habits are not easy to get rid of. Like children who suck their thumbs - I still know adults that unconsciously do this to comfort themselves.

But here's the catch, other addictions or habits are not required on a daily basis to sustain yourself.

I can't just go cold turkey - which is what you're saying when you tell me to just eat protein and fruit and veg and stay away from the carbohydrates.

I've never eaten healthy because if I did I wouldn't be the size I am. I've never had a healthy relationship with food. I've never had the correct idea of portion control. I've never had a solid understanding of the nutritional components of everything I eat.

That's why I'm doing this.

The whole point of this system is to distance yourself from food. To completely disassociate yourself with it.

THIS is cold turkey in the only way possible.

The packs that I receive contain all of my daily nutritional requirements - including supplements so I don't even have to think about pills.

This allows me the time and the distance from food to both get healthy and also train my brain into thinking of anything I eat as being fuel. And looking to other things, like talking about my emotions instead of stuffing candy down my throat, in order to better myself physically emotionally.

And at the end, when I've lost all of my weight? I get counselling and guides on portion control and a mangement program that teaches me to eat healthy for life.

I wrote the following after the conversation - because I had to sort out my mindset as it really did throw me for a loop.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I will not be mad at her. She just doesn't understand. People who have never experienced food addiction just won't.

I cannot allow the uneducated opinions of other to sway my path or stall my success.

I am strong.

I am powerful.

But I do have weaknesses and I'm currently trying to strengthen those parts of me.

I will use your negativity towards my methods as fuel for the fire burning within me.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

PJNSGRL78 4/21/2014 9:38PM

    emoticon emoticon I can totally relate. Some people just can't understand how hard food addiction is. I had to make some serious changes. I can't do things that other people can (like have cheat days, eat cake, eat pizza etc) I have to give things up completely. A lot of people say it's unrealistic (even people here on Spark) BUT these foods are triggers for me. I know know know if, at this point in my life, I eat these things I will just keep eating crap. So I had to make these changes. You know what is healthy for you. So just keep on keeping on girl! emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALEX_V 4/9/2014 8:58PM

    If this person has never had to deal with losing weight, then they do not understand the struggle you (and the rest of us) are going through. Every day is a battle. Every day, you have to choose between healthy and unhealthy. You are a strong, young woman, and you have come so far!

Just look at your pictures. Look at your weight loss ticker. Look at how much you have accomplished. That person had no right to say anything unkind to you. They are not as strong of a person as you are.

Keep pushing. Keep going strong.

Alex

Report Inappropriate Comment
LUISE2512 4/4/2014 12:03PM

    You are strong. Actually very strong!!! I looked at your pics and I am very impressed. If people speak negative it's very often pure jealousy. Because you look stunning. I love your emoticon emoticon red hair

Report Inappropriate Comment
TENNISJIM 4/4/2014 6:33AM

    You are so strong and you will continue to be strong

Report Inappropriate Comment
MAERETH 4/3/2014 8:11AM

    You're right; people who have never gone through it will never understand it. Good for you for putting it in the right perspective. Keep it up!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RIDLEYRIDER 4/3/2014 7:09AM

  You are so much stronger than many, and I know that you are on the road to success. You are right, those without food addictions have no idea. It is a life-long struggle, but we can do this!


Report Inappropriate Comment


You're not there yet!

Tuesday, April 01, 2014

My complacent and happy side is rearing its ugly head again!

I am happy with the results I have had so far - I am happy with who I am at the moment but I just want to be healthy.

But feeling that this is okay - is not healthy. I am on a journey and I am nowhere near done.

In fact I'm just about to start the worst part of all - striving for a toned and smaller body.

What started all of this?

I bought a bikini.

Because - as my page says - I've never had one! So I bought one that was on sale and thought that if I ever do get into it then yay and if it never suits me then whatever!

Well the top is quite tight - my chest is too big for it (so is my back fat! haha) but it's interesting the difference between a bikini and say a frilly bra and pants.

I feel sexy in underwear when I'm with my boyfriend but my god, I've never felt so much like a whale as when in that bikini.

But maybe that's a good thing? It's only going to spur me on. I'm not done yet. I have so much further to go. But I now have the tools I need to get there and a support network to spur me on.

I suppose the point here is that I have always been able to hide behind clothes and actually, they're starting to look rather good! But that's only half the battle!

Both of these pictures were taken today.


  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BATCHICK 4/2/2014 12:35PM

    I love your attitutde, you're headed in the right direction!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUST_BRENDA 4/2/2014 7:04AM

    What a cute bikini!
Healthy is an awesome goal!

Report Inappropriate Comment
ALEX_V 4/1/2014 8:51PM

    Don't be discouraged. The fact that you didn't like the way you looked in your bikini is all the more reason to continue working for what you DO want!

You're definitely headed in the right direction, and just because you're not at your goal weight yet doesn't mean you have to avoid thinking you look good. Because you look AWESOME!!!

Keep up the good work. It will pay off!

emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
MTN_KITTEN 4/1/2014 3:59PM

    Looking good. Hmmm ... someone said...

Other Information:
I WILL make every day better than the last!
emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


Denial

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Well, I wouldn't say denial.... well maybe I would....

I've spent the last couple of weeks gaining weight back, around 20 lbs in total. It's pretty amazing just how much you can gain in a short amount of time! It also tells me that I haven't managed to change my lifestyle yet.

Old habits have come back with a vengeance: eating at my desk, binge eating at night, convenience foods, etc.

I had a job interview on Tuesday with an amazing company that has a gym in the building and is within walking/biking distance of my house which is perfect.

I currently work about 5-6 miles away from where I live and that's a bit far and also on very dangerous country roads. So no biking 'cause I don't want to get squished! :/

In any case, I think I just need a life overhaul. I think this happens to a lot of people, you see yourself heading for a slump and you reroute yourself! That's what I'm currently trying to do! :)

Should hear about this job either today or tomorrow. Exciting! :D

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HABROWN 10/28/2012 10:56PM

    I hope you get it and I hope you make the changes that are needed to get you back on the road to getting healthy in all aspects of your life. Best wishes.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MELONSCALE 10/20/2012 1:12PM

    I know exactly what you mean...I gained about 4lbs in 2 weeks just by flying by the seat of my pants and eating comfort foods. The job sounds awesome. Keep looking forward and stay positive!

Report Inappropriate Comment
GLC2009 10/18/2012 3:31PM

    they say you don`t gain weight overnight, but, like you, i can. it is frustrating isn`t it.

Report Inappropriate Comment
NUTRON3 10/18/2012 7:58AM

    New day .......you can do it!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SEPTEMBERSPIRIT 10/18/2012 7:38AM

    I know about gaining - I regained 10lbs over a few very stressful weeks and let myself do the 'emotional eating/drinking' thing. I'm back on track now and feeling much better.

The prospective job sounds great! Let us know how it goes.

Report Inappropriate Comment
TATTER3 10/18/2012 6:12AM

    Just a thought...I don't know how old you are, but 20 lbs in 2 weeks is indicative of the ability to retain fluid...which is an issue in itself. Binge eating would normally be about 3-5 lbs/week gain. Stay alert to the gains and losses you experience...I'm a cardio pt and a small gain warns me that my meds aren't working. I like your plans ... it will work! Keep Sparkin'!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
1HAPPYSPIRIT 10/18/2012 5:58AM

    Wishing you the best of luck on the chance of a new job position. Keep pushing onward with your goals to a healthier lifestyle! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
CAROL6X 10/18/2012 3:22AM

    You can do it!!!! emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
LEELYN95 10/18/2012 2:44AM

  Reroute to a healthier you - you can do it!!! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment


1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 Last Page