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Still Sober!

Sunday, June 06, 2010

Hey guys.. once again it's been a while since I blogged. I'm still sober still taking it one day at a time.. getting more involved with AA.. we just had a potluck breakfast the other day and that was nice. I went to church today for the first time in years.. been crying a lot lately.. just working through a lot of stuff.. should hear tomorrow whether Greg and John will be able to have the surgery or not.. I'm praying they will. Most likely the surgery will happen the first week of July.. July 23 will be my 6 month Anniversary clean/sober and I plan to be back in Lake Chelan to talk to the newcomers.. I talked to several people I went to rehab with and for sure Chris will be there.. I am so proud of him.. he plans to attend music school in August in Arizona.. his dream.. he writes and plays and sings his own music and he's not bad at all.. He's an amazing guy has a lot to offer the world and as long as he doesn't stand in his own way he will go far. He's young too so if he can figure all this out at 27 my hat's off to him.

Here's hoping all is going well with all of you. Got to get off this machine now.. Have a good night/day and hope to catch up soon. ((hugs))

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DAWNDREGER 6/6/2010 11:00PM

    Congratulations! What a huge and momentous occasion! Sounds like you're working through some of the reasons you used to drink in the first place. From what I've seen, that takes a whole heap of courage. You're awesomely amazing for choosing the sober path!

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CJJANISS 6/6/2010 10:33PM

    Take one day at a time...that's all any of us can do. Stay close to HP. emoticon

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MRSHONEYC 6/6/2010 10:33PM

    CONGRATS on still being sober! You're doing an incredible job!!!!


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CAROLINA_KOUKLA 6/6/2010 10:32PM

  Awesome - what a huuge accomplishment! Just take it one day @ a time..

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It's amazing what a bit of sunshine can do for your mood!

Friday, April 16, 2010

Holy cow.. we've had a teaser sun here in Grays Harbor.. yesterday was a sweet sunny day.. first one in a while and I was excited to see my tulips in full bloom.. I'm excited to get started weeding my garden it's in a pretty sad state atm except for the tulips.. glad I planted those bulbs way back.. still have more in the shed to plant but according to mom and dad I need to wait to do that in the fall.. wow will they last that long? anyway today it's been raining and wet and I love the dirt but not crazy about mud.. lol so we'll see if it's dry enough to plant or not seems to be normal now.. hmm..

I'm a bit sore and woke up later than usual today. I knew I wouldn't make it to the early risers meeting when I went to bed after 2am last night but I'm glad my best friend called me at noon only God knows how long I might have slept in to my surprise. I had figured I'd wake up naturally around 10 ish.. I guess thats a testament to how hard I've started back working out and trying to get rid of my big fat arse... hehe well good day everybody love you all!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DDOORN 4/16/2010 8:43PM

    Just LOVE and CRAVE the sun these days...!

It makes a TREMENDOUS difference for my mood!

Don

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MCJULIEO 4/16/2010 7:52PM

    We are WAY past spring bulbs here, but my tomato plants are blooming like crazy right now!

I want to see your tulips in bloom when it happens, though! Pretty please??

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RONALYN 4/16/2010 7:10PM

    Here in Niagara Falls my Bleeding hearts are flowering ... at least a month early, all my shrub flowers are budding as well ... I just hope and pray for no frost.
I had 150 bulbs that I kept putting off planting when I first moved here ... eventually, I think 3 years later, my husband found them and said plant them or lose them ... sadly I am not quick at following orders ... I lost them :( oh well, I have lots of Hydrangea plants, trees and shrubs as well as hostas and peonies.
Take a picture when in full bloom and we can see all your hard work :)
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MRSHONEYC 4/16/2010 6:56PM

    I had a neighbor, in Florida, who would pull the bulbs out in the autumn time, put them in paper bags, then in the crisper drawer in the fridge. Right before spring time, she'd soak them in a "bath" of lysol (that nasty stuff in the brown bottle) and water - she said it helps keep the bugs away???) then plant them at the last frost.
I've seen a LOT of tulips in bloom here in KY! Sure is a beautiful sight. And don't think *I* will have to worry about pulling out bulbs at the end of the seasons. It gets pretty cold here, I think!
Have a great weekend!!!!

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Jillians Ultimate fitness challenge!

Thursday, April 15, 2010

OKAY.. so wow today I tried out my new balance board and the Jillian Michael's wii game.. and wow yea I have to run and stuff without shoes. it's so funny trying to make my bot move. LOL it's a grueling workout but I'm a little miffed that she never yells at me LOL.. hehe I intentionally stopped moving my arms to go across the monkey bars just to hear her yell at me and no dice my bot was just incredibly hard to get going again. I find the wii a lot of fun it's very very sensitive so one movement can send the arrow off the screen indefinitely which can be a bit annoying trying to get it back in play.

It was very exciting when I weighed in on the board today and it weighed me at 225.. I had thought I weighed 232 as I hadn't updated my stats here for a while but I did get down to this in the hospital. I'm glad to see I hadn't gained back any weight since I've been home.

Got to the early risers meeting this morning and it was great. We talked about resentment as per the daily reflection and it was fitting as I've been very upset about the way things have gone with my treatment (or lack of) since I got out of rehab.

Here another week has gone by and no hear from them. UGH. I should have bounded up the stairs again and demanded to see someone immediately.

One good thing. Dr. Kato is coming through for me with the drugs and I'm to set up an appointment with her. Hopefully she'll be able to help me get going with the outpatient care.

Anne and I visited for a while and went thrift shopping and I got a couple of tops to embellish..I had thought I was spending 6 dollars and yet the man actually didn't charge me for the sweatshirt so basically I got a practically new sweatshirt and tee shirt for 3 dollars. amazing. They look to be bought, washed and then given away so I got lucky.

Tomorrow it's off to Shelton to the Dentist with my folks. I'm looking forward to a pleasant day with them. I'll pray tonight it all goes well.

Gread day today and pretty beautiful :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RONALYN 4/15/2010 9:22AM

    emoticon

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DDOORN 4/15/2010 7:11AM

    Good for YOU to find such SPARK in your life!

Woo HOO! :-)

Don

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MRSHONEYC 4/15/2010 7:07AM

    I'm glad you're having fun with the Wii - I've got one, even brought it with me to the hotel - and it's FUN, for sure! You don't even realize that you're working out! Isn't that run funny!

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Having the parents over for dinner tomorrow night!

Friday, April 09, 2010

Wow.. I'm excited.. I hope everything goes well.. I think I'm finally ready.. anyway we'll see how it goes. I got myself a new toy.. a Wii.. been wanting one for ages and now I'm learning to be a Guitar hero.. I also found some fun cool Facebook games and have had fun catching up with old friends from HS.. wow.. I think Facebook is a great reconnector tool and a great place to meet new people as well.. it's all good.. anyway getting my house organized as well and yes Tiger is very glad I'm home. Thanks for all the well wishing.. got to catch up with you all here.. just wow so much to do.. trying to stay busy. Planning on starting Jillians ultimate fitness challenge now that I just got my new system.. a little bit nervous about that.. her 30 day shred is killer though.. anyway peace to all and to all a good night! hehe :)

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMPROVINGME 4/9/2010 11:45AM

    What fun to get your Wii !! Have a nice dinner with your parents. I'm so glad to read that you're doing so well this week!
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MRSHONEYC 4/9/2010 10:25AM

    Oooooooh yeaaaaaaaaaaaah! Someone's gonna be BUSY! Lots of things for you to keep yourself entertained, now. SUPER!

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LUCKY-13 4/9/2010 1:51AM

    emoticon You're doing great! Keep up the great work and I know you're going to reach your goals!
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This has been harder than I thought

Monday, April 05, 2010

Well talk about an emotional rollercoaster. I skipped Easter this year because I was just too afraid of my unsettled nerves. That and a combo of a healthy dose of period cramping add a 3 hour drive and parents in a car and it's a recipe for disaster.. so I opted out.. I don't want to take all my bad mojo out on anybody else. I knew this would be hard. TY Jesus for helping me find the right people in AA and recovery.. without them I know I'd be drinking and just giving up. Don't get me wrong I love my family. They are as supportive of me as they can be. Right now I can hardly handle myself. I have one hearing aide not working so I need to see if I can get it fixed and then I will be going back to the doctor for my B12 shot and bloodwork overview.. see how things are physically.. and I'm working through my 4th step.. making a searching and moral inventory of ourselves. Sorry I have not posted much lately I just have not felt up to it. My recovery is so emotional that my journaling for the most part has been pretty private.. I haven't felt much like socializing with people outside the program much because I don't want to overwhelm my family and reg friends. Before I went into treatment I really lost it and I know it was hard on my folks to see me like that. I'm glad I got help.. I needed it badly. I still need help. I should hear within this week when I can start back with my outpatient rehab. When I had both hearing aides down (just got one back with a new receiver).. I had to stop going to meetings and I just couldn't start up the group therapy..w hat would be the point if I can't hear ? Turns out it was meant to be because the folks over at the Sanctuary had set me up for an intake with just regular councelling not rehab so it would have had to been changed anyhow.. this reinforces the fact with me that everything happens for a reason.

Had a good long talk on the phone tonight with my brother John in Jersey.. or rather Wa dc tonight.. was good to hear from him.. forgot to tell him I have installed skype and my bff even gave me a special phone to use but she and I have not had a chance to set it up together.. that will be on the near future todo list.

At this point I haven't trusted myself to go grocery shopping alone. I know that probably sounds insane but the truth of the matter is it's so ingrained.. so much of a habit that I need someone there with me to make a conscious decision to make the right choices. SO for now.. that's where I'm at. It may not be pretty but at least I'm honest bout it.

God bless u all that are still in my corner. Sorry I have not had the energy to check up on you in a while.. looking forward to catching up in the next day or two.

Peace.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

IMPROVINGME 4/7/2010 1:06PM

    Sending good thoughts your way. Hang in there -- you're going to get through this!

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DDOORN 4/5/2010 9:41PM

    It sounds like you are gaining some fundamental strength and wisdom through this incubation period!

I like your caution, bonding with others in the program and processing through journaling...! Don't need to know details, just so PLEASED that you are taking such important steps in your journey! Knowing your limits is so CRUCIAL right now!

Thx for filling us in on your progress!

Your SparkFamily is behind you every step of the way!

Don

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JANDERSO9980 4/5/2010 5:39PM

  Good talking w/ you too! Keep up the good work w/ staying clean, we're all proud of you...-- The East Coast Andersons

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_MAOMAO_ 4/5/2010 1:45PM

  Hey, there'll be other Easter dinners. What counts is your here. I was just wondering about you on Easter, in fact, hoped it was going well for you.
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MCJULIEO 4/5/2010 1:04PM

    One step at a time,.... one step at a time...

We're praying for your victory, one step at a time.

It may not be "Inch by inch, it's a cinch", but tiny victories grow into bigger ones with practice.

Thanks for being honest, and Hang in there!

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MRSHONEYC 4/5/2010 11:21AM

    Good to hear from you! Sounds like everything is going along JUST fine. Keep it up - you ARE doing it!!!
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RONALYN 4/5/2010 8:28AM

    We are here when you need us :) emoticon

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HANSEEN 4/5/2010 8:15AM

    Not doing Easter this years sounds like a good idea for you, for now. There will be many more Easters that you will be able to attend. You need to take care of you first. You made the right choice. Hang there.

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JDYJMM2000 4/5/2010 8:14AM

  Good luck to you on your journey. It may be difficult but it will be worth it in the end.

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