KARENJP20   6,413
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The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step

Monday, August 20, 2012

I am bone tired today. I say this with more than a little disappointment because I went to bed last night excited about a new week. I had a great week last week. I was focused on living my new healthy life style and motivated and excited to continue. Then today I woke up and nothing.... I could barely drag myself out of bed and get ready for work. I am tired and don't want to make the effort. In the past, feeling like this from the moment that I got up was more than enough to have me running for something to comfort me, for me that meant food.. ice cream, chips, chocolate. It also meant that I felt justified in resting my tired body in front of the TV. Guilt and self loathing usually follow my giving in to bad habits which then send me on a cycle of overeating. Today instead of "comforting" myself I thought about my goal to live a healthy life and why it is important to me. I realize that my goal does not become less important just because I am tired today. So I thought about what it would take to move forward. Am I really willing to put off my goals simply because I am tired and not willing to overcome a small obstacle? I found that the answer was no. I am determined to achieve my goal because it is important to me. So today I can be tired but what that means to me today is that I am going to approach my day in a different way. I am going to take small steps. Instead of walking a mile at lunch I walked a half mile. Not a giant step forward but a step forward none the less. I am building momentum and eventually all my small steps will add up to a healthy life. When I think about changing a life time of bad habits i get overwhelmed. I just don't have the kind of energy to make that hugh change. But I am realizing that no one is putting that burden on me but me. So now momentum is my aim. Everyday I will take a small step forward and eventually I will achieve my goal. I don't know who said it but I believe "the journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step."

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MRSCLAUS46 9/1/2012 8:31PM

    emoticon emoticon
I really needed to read this--Thanks! emoticon

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BRENJET 8/20/2012 9:26PM

    Good for you!! It is soooo hard to motivate on those days and I admittedly don't always do it--but next time, I'll think of you, and get up off my you know what and move. Thanks for the inspiration!


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Living in the now

Friday, August 17, 2012

Today I am taking the time to reflect back over my first 5 days of recommitting to a healthy life style. It has been a good week for me and I am feeling positive about myself for the first time in a long time. As I think about the difference between how I feel now and how I felt in the time leading up to now, I think the difference is in my approach. I have been battling with weight and self esteem issues for a long time now. My approach has usually been to throw myself into changing lifetime habits quickly. I would over commit to what I was willing or able to do and then beat myself up for not achieving my goals. Each time I recommit I say this time will be different. Each time I try to drown out the voice in my head that says what makes this time different.
This time I am taking a different approach. This time I am listening to my inner voice. I am learning to trust myself and to value who I am. Because of this change, I have taken the time to think about what is important to me and am setting realistic short term goals that are achievable. This time I am not trying to change a lifetime of habits in 1 day.
Life is to short and is very complicated. I am learning the importance of paying attention. I am not looking back because I can't change the past. I am not worrying about what will happen in the future, that just causes me anxiety. I am learning to pay attention to the now. Now is real. I need to notice and appreciate what is right in front of me. I am paying attention to how I feel and learning to trust my instincts. I am enjoying the beauty of the things around me and trying to slow down and enjoy what life has given me. I am not perfect, but then again no one is. I am a work in progress and I am working on being the best that I can be.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ANNIEBOLEEN 8/18/2012 1:16PM

    emoticon good things happen when we keep our focus on present moment awareness. You are exactly where you need to be. Right here, right now!

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BRENJET 8/18/2012 8:40AM

    5 days down...the rest of your life to go!!! Congrats on your healthy lifestyle and commitment to yourself!!


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SUCCESS-AMT 8/17/2012 11:57PM

  I am glad you feel good. Just keep it up. Good luck. emoticon

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MRSCLAUS46 8/17/2012 7:46PM

    emoticon Thank you for the inspiration emoticon

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NANADERRICK 8/17/2012 7:25PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Is there anything else to say??? You are awesome. I know you can do it. You have inspired me to make efforts to do the same.

Have an awesome weekend.

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Warts and all

Sunday, August 07, 2011

When I look at my life I would have to say that I am a reasonably successful person. Yet despite the things I have accomplished in my personal and professional life, I always feel lacking. I never feel that I quite measure up to others - someone is always smarter, prettier, more popular, a better spouse etc... I never seem to fit in. I never feel good enough. I have come to realize that this is very self destructive thinking. The biggest problem for people like me is that we judge ourselves by the standards of others. Often we are unhappy because we judge ourselves by some unrealistic standard, which has often to do the expectations set by other people and society which is in effect comparing ourself with others. If we can accept ourselves for who we are we will be able to judge our self improvement not by criteria set by others, but by our own previous marks. Being you personal best is more that anyone can ask for.
I am trying to learn how to focus on the positive. I spend to much time thinking about my faults and failings. These thoughts occupy to much of mind, leaving no room for me to appreciate my good qualities. If I can accept myself as I am, warts and all, I can then focus on increasing and expanding my good qualities.


Taking Time for Me

Wednesday, August 03, 2011

I joined the stress busting challenge last week so today begins week 2. A task that I need to focus on this week is incorporating 2 stress reduction activities into my routine. As I read through some of the articles that were provided I began to realize that a big part of my problem is that I do not take time for myself. Like alot of people my focus is always on working through my "To Do" list. Interestingly enough I never show up on that list, I don't have time for me. If you were to ask me I would tell you that it is important for each of us to prusue our interests and to do the things that we enjoy. It is how we continue to grow as a person and it gives us a sense of peace and accomplishment. I just don't practice what I preach. So today I have decided to put myself as a priority on my To Do List. I need to take time to unwind and to do something creative that brings me joy. SO .... At the beginnignof each week I will schedule at least 10 -15 minutes each day for me to soak in a bath, or read, or listen to music, or meditate or paint, the possibilities are endless.AS time gos on it will not be so much of an effort to plan the time, it will become a routine or a ritual that I look forward to and enjoy.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    This is an issue for SOO many people. When would we ever say half of the stuff we say to ourselves to a friend? I would tell a friend that she needs to take care of herself and when she does so she is more able to take care of others. I do my best to practice this in my own life but I think it is one of those things you need to continually remind yourself of.
emoticon for bringing this up!

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BALLERY 8/3/2011 8:02PM

    This is my issue. I have 2 kids and a husband.. a house to clean laundry to do and etc. Sometimes there is not extra time for me.. even my workouts tend to have pauses in them due to the kiddos lol.

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EMILYWIN 8/3/2011 3:39PM

  I would never take time for me either. I now go to an exercise class everyday for ME!

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BLACKROSE_222 8/3/2011 3:35PM

    So many of us here have this issue - good for you for coming to this realization, and taking steps to help yourself. You are just as important as your "To Do" list. emoticon

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Have you ever felt invisible?

Sunday, July 31, 2011

I have been battling with emotional eating most of my adult life. I have tried all types of diets and exercise programs and do well for a short time ( usually about 5 weeks ) before i sabotage my efforts and go back to square one.
I joined sparkpeople because the idea of connecting with others that are working toward a healthy life style appealed to me. I have not blogged much because I am never sure what it is that I want to say or if what I have to say is of interest to anyone else.

I was quite happy when I found the SparkTeam " Be Kind to Myself" I wanted a place where I felt safe to explore my issues with others who shared some of the same challenges that I was having and to connect with others who could give me advice, encouragement and a helping hand along the way.

I had not been active for some time on sparkpeople ( one of my times where I withdrew from actively trying to help myself). I returned to the Be Kind to Myself page and found the leader asking for help with the group. I thought it would be a good opportunity for me to set aside time each day to work on improving my relationship with myself and to help others by sharing things that I am learning.

I have never co lead a Team before but I know how hard it is to change and that it is easier to make gains with the help and support of others. I believe that we can combine our strengths to help etch other.

I posted on the team site, introducing myself and offering my support, advice, or just an ear to vent to.

I have noticed since posting that message that there is not a lot of activity on the team site. So I thought I would Blog in an effort to reach out to the tam members and others who share my lack of self love hoping to reconnect the team or connect with others so that we can support each other on this journey.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Being able to share support from a team is hugely helpful. emoticon

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HJFOGARTY 8/1/2011 9:44PM

    way to go - really - helping others does allow you to look outside your "box" and also help yourself as well. it gives you the chance to actually see what you are going through and share so others going through something similar can recognize it and make a positive change! you are a real inspiration for what you are doing not only for yourself but for your team mates as well - good luck and enjoy!

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JURI62 8/1/2011 5:44AM

    emoticon emoticon

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LTRUM71 7/31/2011 1:01PM

    I think it's wonderful that you are reaching out for support! We all need someone behind us helping to push us along and on the sidelines cheering.

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