KAMCCLARY   95,263
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Looking forward Thursday

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Well I shook that bluesy, funky feeling off of me. I took my vitamins, stretched my muscles and went to work with a new attitude yesterday. It helped. I will continue with forward thinking, making the best and choosing positive over negative.

I broke down one box, set up my small little library and displayed pictures of my Mom and family. I haven't hung any on the wall yet, but that is coming. I am breaking my weekend down, by cleaning my house and meeting with the realtor on Saturday and returning to KC to attend a new church service, unpack one more box and maybe it time allows squeeze in a much needed pedicure. I am looking at taking a class during the morning at my new gym and I also looked up bikram yoga, something I may want to incorporate new in 2010 for me.

I realize I didn't eat enough yesterday and that is not going to cut it. Instead of relying on my memory, I pulled out my training journal to log in my meals and training. I tend to remember to write more than to log in on the food tracker because I do not always have access to the internet.

Making positive, step by step changes one day at a time. emoticon To God be the Glory emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CURVYCC 1/21/2010 6:56PM

    I'm so glad you are having a better day today. Take your time and get your home away from home in order. Make time for Kelly and do get your proper rest and nutrition. I'm praying you will be able to attend church this Sunday.

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MSMAKEOVER 1/21/2010 4:12PM

    Hey Kelly....I'm glad you are feeling better. Congrats on making positive changes and turning things around. I am proud of you!!!!

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MSMAKEOVER 1/21/2010 4:11PM

    Hey Kelly....I'm glad you are feeling better. Congrats on making positive changes and turning things around. I am proud of you!!!!

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SNOWBEAR1975 1/21/2010 3:46PM

    You go girl. You are doing the right things in order to have a healthy life. Continue to eat right and exercise and everything will fall into place. I am very proud of you.
Much Love
Snowbear1975

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DEBBIEANNE1124 1/21/2010 3:20PM

    You are so strong.
just be sure you are getting enough nutritional foods in your diet.
Keep on keepin on!

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KNH771 1/21/2010 2:13PM

    I'm glad you're feeling better today. You've got a lot on your plate. You continue to be in my prayers.

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FERGSGIRL2 1/21/2010 1:31PM

    Awesome! It really is. And you really can do this, small steps make large footprints!

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Not wasting the day

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Yesterday began my work week and I was filled with all kinds of emotions about Moma. I finally got my furniture moved in and I was just so lost that I couldn't pick up the phone and call her to discuss my day's events. This is rough. I have high and lows and keep trying to put my best foot forward, but some days are tougher than others...I can't kid myself or simply try to dismiss it.

During the first week of January, the spark calendar suggested to set up doctor's visits for check ups. I am going to add that to my list, get on top of it and find local doctor and sign up for my grief therapy. Yesterday was a true testament that I am still in mourning, I have issues to work out and I know in my heart of hearts I want to feel desperately better emoticon I can't let these feelings consume me and take over my life and stop me from living. Moma wouldn't want that and that is not my design by God
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARMEL466 1/20/2010 7:45PM

    Praying for you. I know how you feel. Take it one day at a time if you can. emoticon

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DORCAS9 1/20/2010 3:05PM

    Hi Kelly,
Have been away for Christmas and New Year, and it is so good to hear that you are still being positive.
I so much know how you feel as I still feel I want to speak to my Mum,(also my Dad), even after nearly 4 and 5 years of them going to be with the Lord.I miss them very much, but know that I will one day be reunited with them, as you will with your Moma. Yes, you are still in mourning, as it is early days yet, but time will ease the loss even though it doesn't feel like it yet. Continue to look forward, knowing that the Lord is with you, knowing too, that this is what your Moma would want for you.
On a more practical note grief therapy seems to be a very good idea.
God bless you very much.
emoticonDorcas.

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SHAY4HIM 1/20/2010 12:54PM

    I'm so very sorry to hear about your mom. I pray that God will comfort you as only He can. I agree with KAYDE53--it sounds like you're doing the right things but sometimes it just takes time. Crying is good for us sometimes. You will be in my prayers. Stay encouraged, hun!
emoticon

Shay :o)

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SISTER_KATHY 1/20/2010 12:42PM

    Oh BTW not sure how to make you my friend on my spark page as I am still kinda new. If you would like I would certainly like to be your spark friend as I find you very encouraging. Thanks!

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SISTER_KATHY 1/20/2010 12:40PM

    Hello I looked at your sparkpage and it was very inspirational. You have my sincerest sympathy concerning your mom. I want to wish you much success in your endeavors. Be blessed! emoticon

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KAYDE53 1/20/2010 12:36PM

    The first year that my mom passed away, I would have good days, then I would have days where I would just be overcome by grief and cry, cry, cry. I'd ask God for comfort and that would help but sometimes I just had to have my cry. Sounds like you're doing the right things, but it does take time. emoticon

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DEBBIEANNE1124 1/20/2010 12:34PM

    Yes you can!
You can do it!
Keep that attitude.

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Count it all joy

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

I finally got those movers out of my hair. What an experience and yes experience is the best teacher. I can go to work and be happy about the fact that I will not be sleeping on an air mattress tonight. I have so much to sort and straighten, I just got my work clothes ready and prepared my lunch for this evening's shift. emoticon

As I looked around my little humble abode, tears welled up in my eyes. I was wishing to share my anxiety with my Mom and for a moment I didn't know if she can hear me speak. I shook off my blues, wiped my eyes and gave a little smile knowing that God is in control, God has my back and Moma knows everything and is watching over me. I was getting discouraged for the moment with my diet, but I pledge to stay on track, get my water in and this week focus is to do cardio. The Spark is a great motivational read and I am also reading Clean Eat Recharged by Tosco Reno. All help is good and I am giving myself mini rewards for each goal that I meet. emoticon

Yes, I count it all joy, joy in the journey and envision crossing the finish line!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FUNNINFIT 1/19/2010 7:57PM

    Change can be good-hard, but good-glad you're settling in-I'm sure your momma can 'hear' you just fine'...
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FERGSGIRL2 1/19/2010 6:07PM

    Hang in there sister! This too shall pass, you are doing so good, focusing on your goals and working toward that! I am so proud of you! Consistency is a great motivator...
Hugs
Nancy

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DEBBIEANNE1124 1/19/2010 5:30PM

    Awwwww
I hope your journey in life in general is a sweet one full of sheer success.

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PRAYDANCRUNLOVE 1/19/2010 2:12PM

    Count it all joy....one of my favorite lessons. Not easy, but so worth it.
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KNH771 1/19/2010 1:40PM

    I just started reading the Spark last night. I've read Clean Eating and love it! Now I just need to follow through ...

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TWYLA053 1/19/2010 1:01PM

    Sounds like your mom is proud of your humble abode and quietly giggling about the not so humble abode awaiting you when you see her again - in many, many years!!!! emoticon

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King's Day

Monday, January 18, 2010

Today we celebrate the life of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. I am grateful for his contribution to mankind and even more grateful to have this day off. I needed just a little downtime to regroup, refocus and catch my breath.

The movers are jerking me around and I let it get to me for a moment. After having a heart to heart talk with my sister, I realize this is just a principality, a negative force that I can't let it get me down. My situation is not as bad as ones fighting for water and food in Haiti or keeping and securing peace in Iraq and Afghanistan. I had to sit back, exhale and let it flow. I know the Lord has great things in store for me and I refuse to let others who do not have my best interest at heart control my destiny.

I was able to watch and support the Help for Haiti. I was able to vacuum, get one car washed, pick up some dog treats, sort my mail and pick up a few birthday gifts for family and friends. I know everything will work out in accordance to God's detail plan for my life and I will not let guilt and condemnation eat me up. I am staying focused on my eating plan, keeping up with my spark streaks. emoticon

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FERGSGIRL2 1/19/2010 6:08PM

    Great Blog, so true and heart felt. thanks for sharing. You know in the end you're gonna win! Shout now!
Nancy

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1002LOOSE 1/18/2010 10:29PM

    Martin Luther King was very brave. He had as much love for this country as our founding father George Washington. He gave the last full measure to show us just what this country can be if we all stand up for what is right.

How fitting that on this day of remembrance of Martin Luther King that the people of this country pull together to aid those without hope in Haiti. Have a great day!

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DEBBIEANNE1124 1/18/2010 8:36PM

    Bless your heart for supporting Haiti. You are so special in doing so. It just broke my heart to see that happen.

Happy MLK!

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Practicing Patience

Sunday, January 17, 2010

Sunday, the day the Lord has made and I am rejoicing and glad of it! emoticon
I am waiting any moment for the movers to gather my furnishing and load them up on the truck to take to my new little apartment in KC. What a journey this has been. They weren't able to load yesterday due to foggy road conditions. This delayed my travels to evening driving again, but thankfully the roads are clear and dry. So I count it all joy that I was able to get some rest, do some more thoughtful packing (refuse to move junk), yak on the phone with my girlfriend and catch up on life with her (thank God for free nights and weekends).

I could be bent out of shape because of the delay, but God's delay is not God's denial. I am thankful to have a roof over my head, family and friends, food in the refrigerator and a job.

***Update**** A couple hours after I started this Sunday blog, the movers arrived. Two young able bodied young men broke my bed and dresser down, wrapped my couch and chair and mirror and loaded what looked like a very small cramped space. But they did it, told me they would deliver sometime tomorrow afternoon and we very happy when I showed them where the closet China Buffet was located in town. Oh boy, they will have fun with an eighteen wheeler unloading tomorrow in my complex! To God Be The Glory. Time for me to shower and get something to eat and head back to KC to prepare for their arrival. My home no longer feels homey and neither does the apartment. I am prayerful that God will soothe my anxiety and this transition will flow better.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBBIEANNE1124 1/17/2010 10:47PM

    I'll be praying for you, Kelly!
hav a great week.

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FIGHT2SURVIVE 1/17/2010 10:28PM

    I am going through the same thing with one exception. On one day I had help packing. I explained that we were going from a 12 room house to a 2 bedroom apartment and I would not be taking most of my things. But this was much too cute to leave behind and so was that. I knew I would end up with way more things that I have room for so they can either use them as bingo prizes or I will toss them out. But none of my books!
Erin

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