KAMCCLARY   108,764
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New Monday

Monday, November 30, 2009

This kicks a new work week, a long work week with some overtime scheduled. Thank God for opportunity. I am also thanking God that I was able to stay with GM without too much turmoil and drama. I can maintain and manage my home that is a three hour drive than trying to do it across state. I wasn't all that crazy about staying with this company with all of its financial drama this year, but I do believe God has a bigger and better plan than what I could dream up and I am obedient to the Holy Spirit's leading. So here I am, 223 miles further west than I have been for the last seven years. I am getting ready for my shift this evening and I pray the good Lord makes it easy, easy to break in.

I know I have to put more focus on my eating plan, no more unconscious mourning eating and grazing. I know I won't feel better after binging so I am going to start all over with my couch to 5k training and break myself back in this week. I will take it one day at a time, change and transform one meal at a time. I bought healthy selections to make for my lunch/dinner this week, stocking up on fruits and veggies and getting my water in.

To God be the Glory!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DEBBIEANNE1124 11/30/2009 10:21PM


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KIMBEEJ16 11/30/2009 9:44PM

    I hope your shift went well tonight! It sounds like you are getting back to taking care of yourself. I'm sure once you get back to eating your good foods and get out practicing your C25K you will begin to feel energized and renewed. Take it nice and easy and you'll get there!

Kim emoticon

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REILLYGIRRRL 11/30/2009 2:12PM

  Good luck.

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Some days are better than others

Sunday, November 29, 2009

When I get a still moment, when the busyness dies down, when I allow myself to think, that is when I have my "Mom moments". I am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that my Mom has a heavenly address and that one day I will see her again. I guess 33 days and counting, I am still raw, very much in mourning and just trying to get through.

I see folks going about their day to day activities, the holiday hustle and bustle in full throttle. I usually get into the swing of things, usually have my shopping done by now. This season of hope, season of Jesus has a new meaning to me. I miss my Mom much today, more today than other days. I take a deep breathe, step back and allow the moment to pass. I look fondly at her pictures and I am happy knowing she is having the time of her life with Christ, she is pain free and she doesn't want her children to worry about her.

Yes, I will be missing Mommie this Christmas season but I treasure the fact in knowing that I will see her again. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

BEAR128 11/30/2009 1:50PM

    I am right there with you. It has been 11 months since my Mom passed and I miss her so much. Continue to stand strong and know your Sparkfamily is here for you.

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SNOWBEAR1975 11/30/2009 12:02PM

    emoticon emoticon
Keep the faith and God will see you through this hard time.
Much Love

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BLESSEDBRNEYEZ 11/30/2009 3:01AM

    My prayers are with you my sister in Christ. Allow your self to grieve. You have your memories & even though she's not here to share them with you, its so special that she was once here to share them and make a mark on your life. I cannot say I know how you feel. I just ask the Lord to comfort you and give you peace in the times you need it. God Bless

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SUNSHINE1954 11/29/2009 11:42PM

    Kelly time does heal. I know that sounds like a cliche but it does. Give yourself time, although it is called grieving process you will not go through stage by stage. Some days, as the others have said, you will feel great. Other days a little thing will trigger a swell of emotion. This is natural and normal. Having gone through this twice, I can say, be in the moment, let yourself feel the feelings than let it go. Ignoring your feelings will only come back and hurt you in the long run. As others have said, you are strong but to feel is not a weakness, it is a strength. You are strong and we are here for you on those days when your head says one thing but your heart say another. Take care my friend and keep us posted how things are going especially at this time of the year. Hugs Joanne

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DEBBIEANNE1124 11/29/2009 11:21PM

    Holidays are the ahrdest time for me. mom kept them going for us kids. making them so special. Without mom they seem so empty. I hope it's not like this for you. You are far stronger than i was.

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NC-PAM 11/29/2009 10:07PM

    Kelly, your post hit hard as it made me think even more of the loss of my brother. It will be 2 years ago in a couple of weeks (exactly 10 days before Christmas) and some days it feels like yesterday. Luckily there are more days that I'm able to at least think fondly of him and his memory without breaking into tears. If I can share nothing with you, please do know that time does help and that the support of friends and family can help. emoticon

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MSMAKEOVER 11/29/2009 9:49PM

    I know and understand your feelings Kelly. I could have written this myself. Tomorrow will be 2 years and some days it feels like she just left. I still mourn. Hang in there my friend. You have my support.

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Getting it done

Saturday, November 28, 2009

I took the bull by the horns and got four boxes packed, purged a lot of items I do not need and bought a new purse (retail therapy after packing). My biggest accomplishment today was getting a packing plan down. Rome wasn't built in a day and purging takes a lot of finesse. I am standing strong, getting unexpected help and leaning hard on God. I know that I can do all things thru Christ that strengthen me.

I believe in leadership by example and my Mom set a great example for me. I am determined to dedicate the rest of my time on earth honoring her legacy, helping find a cure for cancers and living the life that God has designed for me. Live, laugh and love. I pray that one day I am able to do all three without thought and I may be a help and and encourage others as so many have as done for me. Sometimes we do not choose our new reality, but God equips us to go through it. And thirty one days later, I still give God all the glory, all of the honor and all of the praise! emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JULSMUM 11/29/2009 5:19PM

    You have a noble goal, Kelly! Keep on keeping on!!!!

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MSMAKEOVER 11/29/2009 12:28AM

    Great blog Kelly. I'm very proud of you... emoticon

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COOP9002 11/28/2009 11:13PM

    It's great to have great examples for us to follow. Thanks for sharing your experience with the rest of us.

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DEBBIEANNE1124 11/28/2009 9:19PM

    Are you almost finished with your packing?
How are your sisters doing?
I am sure hoping all of them are as strong as you are.
Keep looking forward, kelly. You can do it.

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What I am thankful for...

Friday, November 27, 2009

Yesterday was a day Thanksgiving and many gathered around dinner tables with family and friends and feasted on delectable and tantalizing food.

I reflected on Thanksgiving past, remembering my Mom in the kitchen preparing a meal fit for a king. I remember having to outside and finally cut the last of the collard greens my Mom would prepare or seeing my great-grandma put her famous made from scratch yeast rolls on the oven. I love the aroma that wafted through my home and my sisters and I use to ooohhh and awwww at the parade floats during the downtown parade. I favored watching the parade on television versus going down there and being cold and sitting on the ladder my Grandpa and Daddy carried down there. We would set the dining room table, using the special dishes and silverware and drinking punch from fancy goblets.

I truly appreciate my Thanksgiving memories. My Mom celebrated her first Thanksgiving with Jesus and I know she had a ball. I drove back to my home and had dinner with some friends. It was a pleasure to fellowship with them and I thank God for my friends who called me, texted me, emailed me and just lifted me up in prayer as I moved forward to make new holiday memories. It does comfort me to know my Mom is pain free and feeling fine, that I do not have to worry about her. It also comforts me that my extended family reached out and wrapped me in love. For this, I am truly thankful emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KIMBEEJ16 11/27/2009 9:09PM

    I'm glad you were with good friends yesterday. I remember my Mom in the kitchen too...she was a fantastic cook. Nothing fancy, but she never needed a cookbook to whip up the most delicious foods. Everyone wanted to come over and eat at our house! Me...I'm not a cook. I love to bake! That is one hobby I've given up...too much temptation to eat my own creations. I'm finally learning how to steam vegies...that's a big deal for me--LOL!
Sweet memories will always be with us.

Kim emoticon

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DEBBIEANNE1124 11/27/2009 7:29PM

    emoticon I'm so glad you ahd a reflective day that can bring great memories and a smile to your face.

Holidays are hard for me because mom isn't there for me.Like you, I reflect a lot on past holidays.

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PRAYDANCRUNLOVE 11/27/2009 12:37PM

    BEAUTIFUL! May God continue to richly bless you.

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FUNNINFIT 11/27/2009 9:03AM

    The great thing about memories is that we can bring those we love close to us at any time...thanks for sharing yours...

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Getting it together Wednesday

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

Day before the big food fest. I am being conscious of what I eat and how much. I have to work this evening and will get off early in the morning. I plan on getting some sleep, grabbing the poodles and motoring back my house and let the packing feast begin! It is my goal to have all the things that are near and dear that I want to movers to move have stage in my garage. I hope to have decided on a mover, set the date and get the job done. I plan on going over friends house for a light Thanksgiving day meal, focusing on the light part. This is my first major holiday without Mom, but I take comfort in what my sister told me in a dream she had about Moma, that Moma was laughing, that she told her she was okay for us not to worry about her. I trust in God that He has made a way out of no way, He is the healer and author and finisher of my faith!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

KIMBEEJ16 11/25/2009 9:23PM

    Hope you have a nice Thanksgiving with your friend. Just wanted to let you know I'm thinking about you and lifting you in prayer. Hope your move goes well!

Kim emoticon

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DORCAS9 11/25/2009 4:59PM

    Yes, Kelly, the first year is always the worst without your loved ones, but you will get through trusting in the Lord for His help and comfort. Your Mom is safe and happy with the Lord, just as my parents are. Being a Britisher, and living in the UK, I don't celebrate Thanksgiving Day, but I pray you have a truly happy time with your friends. God bless. Will keep you in my prayers. emoticonDorcas.

Comment edited on: 11/25/2009 5:00:28 PM

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DEBBIEANNE1124 11/25/2009 4:52PM

    Blessings for your thanksgiving.
Eat hearty and wise.
I'll be thinking of you.

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TRIGFROST 11/25/2009 2:46PM

    Hi, I too lost my Mom, this past year. everything is different now. Just the Hubby and me are having Thanksgiving together,Kids all busy and Grandkids doing thier things.... Just keep on Sparkin...Happy Thanksgiving to you.


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