Saturday, December 11, 2010
I spent today at Dillard's with my girlfriend looking at clothes and visualizing some classic pieces I want to own. We do not have Dillards in Michigan, so today I took a real good look at classic pieces such as jackets. sweaters, dresses and pants. I want to kick it up a notch with my wardrobe and stop dressing in so many ill fitting pieces. i want to accentuate my curves as I continue my weight loss journey. It is important for me to look the part and enjoy the journey. Elevate my thinking, dream big and step out of my comfort zone.
It is a cold, blustery day here in KC. My knee talked t me today, reminding me that old man winter lurks about. I am going to have to pull out my long down coat that was once my Mom's when I am out and about running errands. The holiday season is in full force and people were out and about doing their thing. I miss my Mom so much and this time of year is harder. My Gran is in hospice and might not be there when I come home for Christmas. I am putting on my game face for my niece and nephew and the rest of my family. I can't help to think what if. What if Moma was still here? What if I was able to Gran at her home, not some nursing home? What if my other Gran was still here? What if all those who gone before me in heaven were still here on earth? I miss my family, but I know they are having the time of their lives with Jesus in heaven and are whole, healthy and happy. I pray that one day I will feel again that this is the most wonderful time of the year
Friday, December 10, 2010
I am continuing my prayers for my Gran, she is holding her own. I speak life over her, sending her healing prayers. I do not want to contemplate burying another relative again this year. I am letting God work this out and I know in my heart of hearts, "thy will be done". I will never question God's ultimate wisdom and plan. I may not understand it, but I know the peace of God shall surpass all understanding , keeping my heart and minds focused on Christ Jesus.
I have a light weekend planned. I want to finish up my boxes for Michigan and get them sent off. I have some cards to mail and I want to tighten stuff before I head back home. I pray that I do not have to earlier and I pray that my travel is easy. I am not one to be jumping on planes and spending time in airports, but for the distance I have to travel, this is the best way.
I am officially down another pant size, four sizes total for this year. I am elated to be wearing a smaller size I am giving my gym membership a workout and watching my portion sizes and carbohydrate intake. I can taste how thin feels!
Thursday, December 09, 2010
My Gran went back into the hospital again the other day for the fight for her life. She is 95 years young and gave life to my Mom. She is a fighter. She has been in a nursing home for the last twelve years and as with everything that ages, she has slowly declined over the years. I made it a point to see her every time I came home for a visit. When I was home for Thanksgiving a week ago, she went into the hospital. I sat by her bed for a few hours, speaking life over her. When I look her, I see my Mom. I remember when I was young and I go over to her house and run to the table and climb on a chair and say "eat, eat". She fed me well. She taught me how to crochet and took me to the bookstore. She is my Gran Gran and today I am speaking life over her. Although the outcome may appear bleak, I know a higher power, a greater God, A healer, A Savior. I speak life over my Gran, knowing God's word is true and powerful. I know God is going to handle this and that God is truly in control.
Tuesday, December 07, 2010
I was reading a word from the book of Isaiah about setting my face, keeping the course on what God desires for my life. All the bumps, turns, tests, trials and temptations that come in life are part of God's plan for me to have a greater outcome. I sometimes wonder and even question God's way and His plan for me and others. I realize that God is omnipresent, He is omnipotent and He is just a prayer away. This time of year with all the hustle and bustle of folks preparing to celebrate Christmas, I am reminding myself the true reason for the season. I kept hearing that song yesterday as I was running errands, "It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year". That may not be true for everyone. I am going into my second Christmas without my Mom and I have to check myself that I am not just going through the motions. I do not want my niece and nephew to be disappointed. My ten year old niece has been having a hard time especially with Grandma being gone to heaven. I try to assist my sister and brother-in-law with help the kids cope and just be kids and enjoy the holidays. I am making another trip home for the holidays simply because I want to be around family and they want to see my face.
Isaiah 50 talks about the path in life may be rocky, tedious and long winding. It may require much more concentration and effort on our part to travel this road. The enemy wants us to get discourage and give up, to keep our eyes off the prize and not to focus on Jesus. i remind myself daily that God is my source, not man or my job. I keep God's word in my mouth and I put a song in my heart each and every day.
Jesus is the real reason for the season
Monday, December 06, 2010
Count down to 2011. This has been a growing year, a year of change and a year of many firsts. I am preparing for the road that lies ahead of me. Having been off work since Thanksgiving, I had time to visit with family, go back to my childhood home, paid off my car a year early and do a little Christmas shopping for the family and for myself
I have thirteen more working days left in 2010. I return to my shift tomorrow with a sense of purpose. I needed this down time and I have some layoff weeks coming in January. I am not hitting the panic button because I am in a better financial situation that I was before. I got rid of a lot of credit card debt, sold my home and paid off my vehicle. I still have a couple cards I am whittling down, but nothing like it was a year ago. I can't thank the Good Lord enough for Financial Peace. I have been able to maintain, take care of my health and my poodles' health as well. It is challenging at times living in an apartment, but for the time being, I am getting strengthen and established. I am doing the work that needs to be done and I am always kicking it up a notch. I speak life to all those around me and I refuse to give satan any room in my life. I have lost weight this year and I have more to go. I am being more optimistic, using the law of attraction in my life and charting my course.
I am preparing for work tomorrow and I am getting my groove on at my gym, getting my cardio in. I am letting my yes be yes and my no be no. Although we are in the last few weeks of 2010, I plan on making the best of them. Live my best life.
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