Friday, March 28, 2008
Tonight I was reviewing Chapter 1 for the 2 online FlyLady weight loss groups I belong to.
Leanne and Marla say, in effect, that in order to lose our excess weight we have to figure out how we found it in the first place. I think I have done that.
I was a skinny child and was often scolded for not eating, but I didn't have much of an appetite. I found it difficult to answer this, until I thought of it in terms of when I started to gain weight and the stages when it happened.
1) I didn't lose baby weight, with the last 2
2) I loved socializing where food was served
3) Stress at work so I hit the vending machines
4) Eating in the evenings bored or lonesome
I started to abuse food when I was in situations where I was unsure of myself, didn't have someone to turn to, and or I was lonesome in general (not sure how #2 fits with this). I have always been the type of person to be very self-contained, not impose on anyone or let others know I was hurt or needy. I guess smoking and overeating became something to take my mind off the situation. Unfortunately it didn't improve the situation or me.
I realize I did work through some of this last year. I retired from work, stopped feeling like a victim, started exercising, limited my alcohol intake, quit smoking, and started dieting; in that order. I would rate my progress as good considering where I was last year at this time.
I am sure I will think of more later. If we weren't reviewing the book I never would have connected the dots.
I think this triggered my thoughts:
Question: Write down your first memory of using food to comfort yourself and what was happening to you and how you felt at the time.
Feeling stressed at work and taking a time out to get away from my office and do something mindless for awhile.