Friday, May 07, 2010
When I was a kid, I always wanted one of those little diaries with a little lock. And when it gets right down to it, all I really wanted was the little key that fit in the little lock. It was so cute :) But I never got one. They were too expensive for us. And I did not earn enough pocket money to get myself one. Truth be told, I never actually wanted to write in the thing. My logic was this: why write something private in a little book with a little lock with a little key that you could break anyway? Plus, what in earth would you write that was so private?
Fast forward to today... the plethora of blogs is stunning. We think it and so surely someone is already blogging about it. Profound thoughts. Funny thoughts. Educated thoughts. Ironic thoughts. Transformative thoughts. They are all there. Even the most private thoughts.
What changed? Why do we blog? What happened to the little diary with the little lock and the cute little key? Why are we letting the world in on that which we used to keep so private? What do we learn by writing? How do we grow by writing? And today it is rare that we get through a day without reading at least one person's blog somewhere on the net. Why do we read them? What do we learn through the sharing spirit of others?
For those on SP who journal and/or blog, I wonder why we do one or the other or both. How are the two outlets different? This is just fascinating to me and I wonder for myself. I have morphed from a little girl who rarely wrote and certainly never wrote down any of my private thoughts to a person who enjoys the daily contact with the world. I keep two blogs at the moment: SP and my gardening blog. I have had other venues for writing in my professional life as well: a NING, a TWITTER Feed and two BLOGS for education.
Any reservations I had about writing private thoughts have diminished. It seems that I test the waters of a new idea more readily in my blogs than I could ever have imagined with the diary. Sometimes I face the blank screen with apparently nothing to say and an idea will pop in and the words flow. I usually learn something about myself by the end of the blog. With my gardening blog, I often learn about the memories I have and how they have transformed over time. In SP I often gain motivation for my journey through the words that emerge as well as the comments I get from others. It's almost as if my blog is a guardian and spokesperson of the work I do now for my health.
And today I learned that deep down I still do want that little lock with that cute little key and a little photo on my blog just won't cut it!
And you? Why do you blog and/or journal? Do you have a blog outside of SP?
QUOTE: "Any change, even a change for the better, is always accompanied by drawbacks and discomforts." ~Arnold Bennett
MANTRA: Every choice is an opportunity. Every opportunity is a choice. ~ March 2010
Photo of the Day: Today's Sunrise on My Mountain
Thursday, May 06, 2010
"Feelings follow Behavior" is the title of a chapter in a little book I picked off a bargain table recently. The book is called "Too Soon Old, Too Late Smart." I read little snippets of it here and there. It is like the old sayings were have heard all our lives: you've heard these things before and some days you pay attention more!
There was a line in the chapter that struck me up side the head. "If they say, correctly, that doing things they do not feel like doing is difficult, I acknowledge this and ask if 'difficult' means the same thing as 'impossible.' Soon we are talking about things like courage and determination."
I think we often use the terms "difficult" and "impossible" interchangeably and yet they are drastically different! We flippantly exclaim that things are "IMPOSSIBLE" and yet are they really? What is the difference?
Of course some things in life are difficult! Making a living. Finding a job. Raising our kids. Going to school. Doing the chores. Making good choices about what's for lunch, dinner etc. Getting up and moving. And perhaps depending on our circumstances, our moods, our level of motivation, we add one of the two words:
"Finding a job is difficult." or "Finding a job is impossible." Really?
"Getting up and moving is difficult." or "Getting up and moving is impossible." Really?
"Making lunch today is going to be difficult." or "Making lunch today is going to be impossible." Really?
And my mind goes to two very different places when I add one of those two words. When I say some thing is impossible, I stop. I do not try. I have not other plan. I feel defeated.
When I say something is difficult, I reconsider. I try. I have a next step. I feel hopeful. I feel determined.
The SAD thing about the State of Impossibility is that there is no hope and it is a one way street in and there is no exit. The UPLIFTING thing about the State of Difficulty is that it has no entry fee, no visa required, and the borders are limitless. All you need to navigate the State of Difficulty is determination and courage. And when you add courage to your day, you act with courage and then you FEEL courageous. And then anything seems possible!
I look back at the start of my journey with SP and I can see that subconsciously I had said that the journey was going to be difficult but not impossible. There has not been a day when I said, 'No way.. this is impossible,' and then shrug and hang my shoulders in defeat. Every day I come to SP and I read about the determination of so many out there. Setbacks seem temporary moments of "impossibility."
I woke up this morning somewhat blue. Not sure exactly why. I guess things are on my mind. And then I thought back to that little phrase about feelings following behavior. And then I decided that ACTION, ANY ACTION, would be difficult today but NOT impossible and that my feelings will follow that behavior.
So, I am gonna fling my blue mood out the window and dig out some determination today. I'm sticking with the State of Difficult rather than the State of impossibility. YEAH!
QUOTE: "We have all been placed on this earth to discover our own path, and we will never be happy if we live someone else's idea of life." James Van Praagh
MANTRA: "Ever choice is an opportunity. Every opportunity is a choice." March 2010
Photo of the Day - Just looking at my mountain can dissipate a blue mood!
Wednesday, May 05, 2010
I'm learning some things while holed up in the house. I can't drive. I depend on my DH to help me out. For a person who is highly independent and self-sufficient, this is a huge deal. It's always good to be faced with a challenge. You learn about yourself.
I was worried that while I was home I would start eating anything I could find. I would not have my usual jaunts to the gym, my usual distractions in the garden, my customary excursions to the coffee shop to read and knit. I knew that with only three and half months in on SP, this surgery adventure would surely test my new-found habits. Would I still drink water? Would I still control my calorie intake? Would I still get in enough exercise without my usual gym workouts? Would I stay motivated?
And now, with my freedom within eye sight, I am feeling much more confident, not overly confident, but confident enough to smile. I thought tonight about what I have done to help me feel this sense of peace. So here's my little list...
First, I set a goal for just the time I anticipated being out. Kind of like when I ran my first "long" run. I remember that I had set a goal of mailbox to mail box of landmark to landmark. It worked! I did not worry about the "end" but the "during."
Second, I encouarged myself BEFORE I started. I sent my monthly "DETERMINATION" postcard via HazelMail again. I sent it right before the surgery and wrote a note about my goals and encouarging me. I got it a few days after the surgery. Good timing! I needed to remember that when I was still not feeling so hot.
Third, I re-read articles about calorie intake and exercise. I lower my calorie intake, realizing I was going way down in minutes in the gym. However, I did not go back to old habits of eating only once or twice a day. I kept my intake within my range, but at the lower end. I also kept to my Breakfast-Lunch-Dinner routine. I did lower my snack intake, sometimes not having a snack but doing fine without them.
Fourth, I reached out to my friends on SP. I am grateful for this community's support. I also did my share of sharing which kept my mind engaged on something productive instead of on possibility eating because I was bored.
Fifth, my biggest worry has been exercise. The first week was rough. I really did not feel like doing anything. And my feet hurt like heck. Seemed like just getting up to walk to the bathroom was a work out in itself! But that stage passed pretty quickly and I was able to dig into my pattern of strength training. I had been following Coach Nicole's bootcamp workouts and I have my fitness tracker set up to automate my strength training workout. I updated the fitness tracker to do daily strength for shorter periods of time, switching between core and upper body. Then a few days ago, once I was able to sit on the coach without having to prop up my feet for longer periods of time, I started up with some cardio: chair aerobics. I got kind of bored with the paucity of the videos on for chair aerobics that I enjoyed, so I started just using music from videos on youtube. I had been learning enough during my bootcamp workouts that I could do some moves with lots of reps.
Then I realized, that really, I could do some of the ZUMBA videos (I've never done zumba but I have seen the videos) by following along with most of the arm movements. And when the video is mainly foot or hip action, I just intensify or fill in with the arm work. What I love about the youtube videos is that I do my fits of exercise in 3-5 minutes. I do a video, track the minutes and then go onto the next video. Ok OK.. I'm not the next Dance star. I have no rhythm but my dogs, my loyal and straight-faced cheerleaders, hardly lift an eyebrow at my antics! Tonight I did wait for DH to go to bed because frankly I look dorky! BUT I STILL DO IT because I want to and because it is fun!
And finally, I listened to those who care. My doctor cares and sent me home with strict orders. I listened and now I am healing pretty quickly. So far, no complications. My SP friends care and cautioned me to be careful. I listened and I did not go crazy! My body cares and told me when enough was enough. I listened and I can feel the wounds healing. And finally, my DH cares and my DD cares and supported me in word and deed. I listened and got some GREAT hugs and meals out of the deal.
Yes... I can say that I am THRILLED that maybe next week I can go to the gym and work out again on the elliptical. WOOHOO!
Yes... I can say that I am THRILLED that might be able to be drive as early as next week. YEAH!!!
and best of all....
Yes... I can say that I am THRILLED that the lessons learned so far are sticking! TA-DA!
I may not be able to drive my car, but I have found the drive to propel myself towards my goals.
P.S. If you have some work out songs I can look up on youtube, let me know! I love to keep it movin', movin'
QUOTE: "Be yourself. An original is always worth more than a copy." Author Unknown
MANTRA: Every choice is an opportunity. Every opportunity is a choice.
Photo of the Day: The Japanese Maple is filling in nicely. It shades the 2nd floor back porch all summer!!
Monday, May 03, 2010
I usually only do one blog a day, but I have had a couple people ask about the Community Team award.. I really did not do anything special to get that award. It kind of just showed up when join the COMMUNITY TEAM!
If you have, then you might consider joining the Community Team. I joined this weekend in an effort to give back to the community here and to keep me focused on my goals as well.
There are several goals for the team; in particular, you commit to being active by blogging, welcoming people, posting in the community forum, commenting on other's blogs etc... These are all things I enjoy doing each day but I could slack off and don't want to! This might even take me to a new kind of involvement. Who knows! Anyways, I've received so many amazing comments and words of encouragement, support and advice while here. I know you all can do this too!
Here is the link www.sparkpeople.com/community
MANTRA: Every choice is an opportunity. Every opportunity is a choice.
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