JUSTME9898   46,079
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Life Sucks Sometimes

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

There is so much drama going on in my life right now. I have spent the last year at relative peace except for some money issues and now life is pressing in. I have dealt with the death of both of my parents, cancer, my husband's death and all the other things that make life stressful. My son is in the middle of a messy divorce. Now think of the meanest divorce you have heard of - that's it with two ultra emotional people. They live a block away so he is staying at my house half the time. He is forty. It is time to cut the umbilical cord.
I know he needs help, but I am no long strong enough or healthy enough to give it. If I do not take care of myself then I will be totally unable to take care of anyone else.
I know that this too will pass. Things will change. Time will dull the emotion. But right now it is a river of rage and guilt.
On the up side, my plateau has broken and I am losing weight. I am still on track. One day at a time.
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change
I courage to change the things I can
And the wisdom to know the differencce

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DFOLKARD 8/28/2014 5:05PM

    emoticon emoticon

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KRYSSCOTT 8/27/2014 7:58PM

    Life does suck sometimes but hang in there. If you need to draw a line in the sand for the sake of your health and sanity then go ahead and do it. Don't feel guilty, your son may get angry at first but in the long run he'll come to understand that you needed to protect yourself from the drama and emotional discord. Divorce is never easy, but this one is not yours, it's his, let him deal with it.


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DEBBYHS 8/27/2014 7:22PM

    Hang in there. I'm sending positive thoughts your way. Good job on staying focused through all of this. emoticon

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MTN_KITTEN 8/27/2014 6:17PM

    Sending wisdom your way!!!!

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MOMMY445 8/27/2014 4:55PM

    sending hugs your way! have a wonderful day!

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Finally weight loss

Friday, August 22, 2014

I lost 5 pounds this week!!!! I feel like I am finally on the down side of the plateau.
Lots of family drama at the moment, but I am on track and tracking.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STRONGNFIERCE 8/25/2014 2:08PM

    AMAZING LOSS! Hope the family drama settles down...remember to take care of you!

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SUBMOM2 8/22/2014 11:55PM

    Good for you! Hope the family drama resolves itself.

emoticon emoticon

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KRYSSCOTT 8/22/2014 11:01PM

    Sorry about the family drama, that aside congratulations on the five pound loss. What a great loss. You busted through that plateau and really rocked it this week!

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TAMMYAND 8/22/2014 7:59PM

    emoticon Way to go....That loss is nothing to sneeze at....good bye plateau.....hello momentum...keep it up my friend! Sorry about the family situation...but glad you are not doing the emotional eating that often happens when family stresses hit home. emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 8/22/2014 8:00:14 PM

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TIFFANYLYN13 8/22/2014 2:35PM

    OMG that is AWESOME!!! Congrats!!!
Keep smiling and keep doing whatever your doing, you are ROCKIN it!!!

Have the best weekend EVER!!!!


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I love Mondays

Monday, August 18, 2014

I am retired and everyone goes to work on Monday, so it is my official day of rest and reflection. I have been struggling with a very slow weight loss. I am going to try a month of no red meat and see if it makes a difference. I am going to try something different each month until I find that winning combination. Once I have found it I will stick with it until it stalls. I love being retired and able to focus my energy on my health. I am making changes in my life. I will figure this weight loss thing out. I do not care how long it takes or how many tries. I will persist until I find success.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MTN_KITTEN 8/19/2014 12:29PM

    You will do this ... you ARE doing it!!!

On being one of the biggest losers!!!!!!

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FIT4MEIN2013 8/19/2014 11:37AM

    Everyone needs to find what works for them. You will find it!

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SUBMOM2 8/19/2014 1:29AM

    I'm glad you're enjoying Mondays! You deserve this time for you!

emoticon emoticon

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KRYSSCOTT 8/18/2014 10:43PM

    I think that is all anyone can do, try everything until you find what works for you. I haven't found my winning combination yet, but joining Spark was certainly a win. I'm glad we found each other. emoticon

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TAMMYAND 8/18/2014 10:43PM

    You have a winning attitude. I know you will figure it out and do it! Plus you are inspiring others along the way. So happy you are my friend! emoticon emoticon

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    That is great persistence pays off. Keep up the good work.

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two days of success

Wednesday, August 13, 2014

I am very proud of my actions yesterday. I worked out. I made my 6000+ steps. I weighed and measured. I ate low carb and very healthy. I went to bed on time and slept well. A successful day. One of many to come.
Today I am realizing that I am confusing energy level with motivation. My energy level is low because I took Benadryl to sleep last night, but my motivation is still very high. Seems dumb, but this is the first time that I realized motivation and energy are not the same thing. Energy helps motivation, but does not dictate motivation. My motivation is increasing as the day continues and the Benadryl wears off.
It is so quiet in the house. Everyone is gone. There is a very slight breeze outside (maybe 5 mph), no TV, no radio, just me finding peace and quiet. That was an hour ago, then my son called for a ride to the store to get dog food and my daughter called to say she needed my post office box key could we meet for lunch. Laughing - the best laid plans of mice and men.
My plans today are to go through the rest of the freezer and plan meals, to do some exercise videos, to journal, and to spend some time evaluating and assessing.
Now in the evening I have met many of my goals for the day. did an exercise video, went through the freezer, and did some journaling. Now once again the big challenge is to go to bed on time. I feel like I am on the first step of a more successful journey. For the first time in a long time I actually believe I can lose weight.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STRONGNFIERCE 8/14/2014 6:52PM

    You're doing great!!! Awesome work!!

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MTN_KITTEN 8/14/2014 7:18AM

    Keep moving forward.

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SUBMOM2 8/14/2014 12:54AM

    Glad that you can now focus on you. You are worth the effort!

emoticon emoticon

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KRYSSCOTT 8/14/2014 12:04AM

    You did a fantastic job!

Stay motivated because emoticon

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MSFROGGIE 8/13/2014 9:26PM

    emoticon Great Job!!

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TAMMYAND 8/13/2014 8:16PM

    emoticon I know you will lose weight too!!! Just keep stringing those successful days together. emoticon

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Turning a page

Monday, August 11, 2014

My motivation has been waning lately. I have been focused on family and now I have time to turn the focus back to myself. I will have to deal with some money issues, since I just had to buy new tires for my car and a new central air conditioner. I cannot complain, the car tires are 8 years old and the air conditioner is 35 years old, so both have served me well and now I need to bite the bullet, which means cutting back on my fun money for a while.
I am cleaning out the freezer which means when I restock it I need to forget the beef and pork for awhile and focus on poultry and fish with vegetarian twice a week.
I am very good about my cardio workouts, so I need to get back to strength training 3 days a week. I wake early, and used to have this routine, so back to good old habits and break with bad habits.
Sleep is always an issue with me. I hate going to bed. I have gotten into the habit of turning off the TV at 8 PM, now I need to take my melatonin and do some relaxation exercises and make it a habit.
Six month from now I want to look different, feel different and live different. I am ready for change

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STRONGNFIERCE 8/12/2014 9:27AM

    Linda, six months from now you will look, live and feel different. There may be ups and downs, there may be times where you want to give up, but you'll get there, you'll look, live and feel different because youve set your mind to do it :)
Always here to help you along the way!

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TAMMYAND 8/12/2014 12:24AM

    Sometimes you can get a payment plan for your AC replacement. Maybe that will help stretch your dollars a bit. I like that you have a plan for your exercise. You are dedicated and will see the results. Your healthy meal plans are a plus too, and I know you add variety to your choices. I am happy that you are going to focus on yourself. You deserve it. emoticon emoticon

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KRYSSCOTT 8/12/2014 12:07AM

    The ultimate job of weight loss is yours and yours alone but I and many others are only a few clicks away. If you need someone to hold you accountable or keep you motivated, we can be those people.

Personally, I have an insomnia issue, so I know what you mean about hating going to bed. Staring at the ceiling for hours on end is never fun. I try to do some deep breathing and read for about twenty minutes while I'm in bed. This seems to help, at least it calms my thoughts. Maybe it will help you?

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UMBILICAL 8/11/2014 5:13PM

  I'm turning one also

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