JUSTFOCUS   18,356
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Another Hurdle that I WILL get through

Monday, October 22, 2012

This has been my first time back on Sparkpeople for a few months. I was having what I thought was a pretty good summer from a fitness perspective and was once again active and interacting with my Spark friends...........and THEN....

For those wondering what happened...i will briefly explain. I began having some pain in my lower back. The pain initially was not that bad, but progressively got worse. It began to move down my left leg and then I could notice my left leg was experiencing weakness. It worsen to the point that I found myself in the ER and then with an appointment with my Primary Care doc.......0nly to be referred to a neurosurgeon once the MRI was reviewed.

A herniated disk was the diagnosis.....the docs have been surprised that I was doing the things I was doing. They gave me two options...an epidural shot or surgery. My first thought was to at least TRY to epidural, but mind you, this came to me, the day before news broke of the epidural/meningitis outbreak. They said it is safe, but I was still unsure about that one. Add that to the fact that I have spoke with several of my friends that are docs and chiropractors and the surgery is basically inevitable........THUS..I will be having surgery in 3 weeks.

I understand completely that back injuries and recovery are very dependent on strength of your trunk(back AND stomach) muscles. I also want to be as light as possible for continued recovery. The wife and I laid out a plan starting today that will move throughout my recovery. This pain has been rough the last few months, so I am somewhat nervous, but look forward to some relief and getting back to the gym!

Stay Determined, Stay Committed, and Stay Consistent

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTFOCUS 10/24/2012 11:58AM

    ORANGE81 - Thanks for the information and sharing your own story. I was going to put off the surgery as well, but felt honestly it was inevitable, so I decided to attack it head on. I have a habit of over doing it, but plan on being patient in the recovery and will focus more on the eating. and DEFINITELY thank you for the prayers?

Baby_Girl69 - was I really missed? awww...LOL. I missed you too and I am SURE you have not been slipping! And you better get ready, b/c once this surgery is over..its full throttle. I know feel like this is more of a NEED than a WANT...this is my LIFE and that may sound extreme, but thats how I am looking at it to motivate myself. Thanks for the well wishes!!

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BABY_GIRL69 10/22/2012 9:14PM

    WOW! It's been a long time...I hope you get well really soon, I have missed you as part of my inspiration! You don't know how much?! YIKES! I've been slip slipping....

God bless & take your time....


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ORANGE81 10/22/2012 6:54PM

    Let me say from been there 2x's a plan is a great start. I continued to work before,after and during the shots and up till surgery. I had to put off 2nd surgery because I couldn't afford a leave of absence I needed to wait for the family leave to kick in so I made the nerve damage so bad the doctor's aren't sure if it will ever go away so I am glad to hear you aren't waiting. But I can take back pain and keep on going but having my teeth cleaned I am crying and hanging on the dentist's chair for life. lol. But I learned after surgery I had spinal stenosis and this time a got a rod. I wont be pain free and the rod has it's own pain. But the biggest thing to remember is don't push it with the recovery and for me sitting home for over 3 months with a brace I got depressed and ate and took short walks but I really over ate and ate while home alone. I wish I had a plan.Keep in touch with others here too. I feel for you and will say a prayer I wish you all the best. Get some help with tying the shoes when you first get home LOL emoticon

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Quick thoughts and calls for help

Friday, June 01, 2012

Today is 6/1/2012. In a month and 2 days, I will have been married to my wife for 8 years! It does not seem like it has been 8 years. I guess thats a good thing...if it felt like it had been forever, then maybe we would have a problem...lol. My wife has always loved and accepted me for who I am, regardless of anything...especially size...she actually loves my size, but wants for me that which i want.

With all that said, I am making June MY MONTH! I apologize if you have anniversaries, or birthdays or whatever, but this one is mine...you can have the next one. I am going to work as hard as I can and eat as best I can, to see what I can accomplish by July 3, 2012. I am not setting any weight loss goals. I will only be content if I KNOW that I worked hard and did all I can do. NO EXCUSES!

So I will try to sign in daily like I used to and be more active and let you guys no how I am doing....and would LOVE your support!! Help me out as you always have and we will see what comes of it!!!

Stay Determined, Stay Committed, and Stay Consistent


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JMCKELLARS 6/24/2012 12:58AM


How is it going. Now you are doing well and almost at the end if the month. So forget about what you half done or not done and finish well what you have started.

Blessings and Much Success,

J. Patrick

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FERGSGIRL2 6/2/2012 4:03PM

    Awesome, much success!

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JustFocus Update

Monday, September 27, 2010

How is everyone doing? I have not really been on Spark in a while and a lot of you have been sending prayers and well thoughts and wishes and I am very appreciative and wanting to let you know what has been going on.

On Thursday 9/16(the day after my daughter turned a year old..*SMH*), my wife's grandmother's name was called home to be with the Lord. The week prior to this unfortunate event and the week after were very trying and demanding on my family with lots of travel and emotion.

In the small amount of free time that I did have, i was trying to get caught up with my two jobs that I had fell behind in. On top of this, I was supposed to be leaving for a business conference in San Antonio on that following Monday(9/20).

After tons of discussion with family, friends, and of course ultimately my wife....I did decide to go to the conference on Weds. night and partake in it on Thurs. and Fri, before coming back on Sat. Travel complications kept me en route all day Saturday. The frustration led me to decide to take a flight to Nashville, TN instead of waiting until Sunday at noon for a flight. So I rented a car at 12:30am and arrived home Sunday morning at 5:30am.

Now its back to work....so yes....needless to say.......i am beyond tired, but I am still attacking the week head on and with all that said:


This incident with her grandmother brought up a lot of hard memories of my father and it was tough to watch her go through it...its not over but we are strong in faith and making it through. With that said.....please continue to pray for my family and I.........


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTFOCUS 9/29/2010 1:54PM

    Thanks everyone for your comments. I cant say how much they are appreciated!! Monique138, thanks for the birthday shoutout to the little one. I have to get an update to day pic of her up soon.

Once again thank you and I hope you all are having a GREAT day/week!!

Stay Determined, Stay Committed, and Stay Consistent!!

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MONIQUE138 9/27/2010 12:53PM

    Sorry to hear about all you've been going through. Faith in God will always give you the strength you need to move on. Happy B-day to the little one. Here birthday is the same month as mine!!! Glad to see you back and more determined.

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KAHOLLIDAY 9/27/2010 12:39PM

  Im sorry to hear about everything going on. Your wife is lucky to have you to help her through. Glad you are back! We've missed you!!

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JUSTFOCUS 9/27/2010 11:59AM

    Definitely a great perspective to take. I have definitely walked very closely with GOD over the pass 8 months of her illness and continue to do so. Thank you so much for your words.

Stay Determined, Stay Committed, and Stay Consistent

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MJMONE 9/27/2010 11:27AM


does sound like you have a lot going on, what I find helps me is instead of asking
God to 'give me' strength, asking Him to BE my strength.

Blessings and congrats on that baby!

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Four Years Later.......RIP Popz(5/13/2005)

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Four Years LaterÖ.

Four years have elapsed but it feels like four days
The tears have relapsed and they flow in more ways
In no ways, never thought the pain would still remain
Forever to linger, but why must it feel the same
Eternally stained, etched in my heart, from which the love came
The beast of sorrow stands strong, Iím unable to tame
How long will it rain, using my loss for selfish gain
Release me from these chains, why am I contained

Itís an uphill battleÖ. I wonít surrender
The lessons that you taught Popz, created a contender
ďDo you rememberĒ, a phrase that makes my heart tender
As it precedes a subject with you as its member
My mind is flexible, yet the heart not so limber
Did I tell you, youíll have a grand in September
Anticipation builds just to tell her about my father
With the dreams of being half a man as you to my daughter
Never think that you will not be a part in her life
As your eyes are my eyes and you live through your wife
You know Juan is excited, so your morals will still reach her
It is said Ill make a great dad, thanks to my teacher
Now more than ever I want to be just like you
And when I think, Iím even starting to see just like you
In the mirror, Iím starting to be seen just like you
And when agitated they say that I get mean just like you

Iím glad you were there when I walked that stage
You were not a Clemson man, but you turned that page
I could see the pride in your eyes, seeing your boy as a man
Then you gave me 6 months to move as you took my hand
But I did not need them, a testimony to what you gave me
As around the same time I introduced you to a lady
You gave your son full blessings, as I said I Do
Then accepted Godís blessing, less than year after I said I Do
Leaving 10 months later was the plan that HE created
Never forsake it, though sometimes I wish HE delayed it
Yet I never question, nor do I ask for a reason
Continuing to pray and grow with every season

Since your passing, a large void was left to be filled
I only hope for approval, through the morals that you instilled
I know that you were worried; it was not in your plan
When the responsibility shifted, I raised my hand
So sit back in your glory, for the work put in
And Iím thankful for the position, you put me in
I give you my word Popz, your wife will never need
I pray for her wants, and ensure her every need
As I am typing this minute, she sent me a text
For no particular reason, just a cordial check
To see how I was doing, to ask about my week
As she knows on this day, I tend to be a little bleak
I provide peace of mind, and ensure that I am fine
Attempting to absorb her pains, and stand strong in mine
Itís all because of you, the values you have placed
Iím grateful for the memories, the years you have graced
I see you in my mirror, never taking you for granted
Elated by the love in the seed that you planted
Considered in every decision, by my side, my caddy
My daughter will know these morals came from granddaddy

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAZZID 7/28/2010 1:55PM

    ... a wonderful tribute... he will forever live on in you heart and your daughter will get to know him through the man that you are...

emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 7/28/2010 1:56:11 PM

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IWIN4LIFE 6/20/2009 12:23AM

    I think ANEWLEE sums it up for me. You are an amazing writer. Please feel free to bless us with more of your inspirations, reflections and insights any time.

With much appreciation - L.

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SHORTYGETFIT 6/12/2009 1:09AM

    Sorry to hear of your loss...you address something that has been heavy on my heart for years. I understand that death is something that we all have to deal with, but it is not easy.

But the one thing that I pray for is that if my parents leave here before me that they can rest assured that I am at a point where I can take care of myself.

It sounds as if your dad was able to leave here at a time where he can be proud of his son and know that he raised a competent and complete MAN that is capable of loving and taking care of himself and his family. I bet your dad smiles down on you often.

Wishing you and your family the best!

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ITSJUSTJANET 5/29/2009 5:45AM

    WOW! This is amazing! I hope your little girl knows how lucky she is to have a daddy with such wisdom, such heart. Your wife is one lucky lady, most men keep there emotions and feelings to themselves, which is never a good thing. I am going to print this to reread when I am feeling down, missing my daddy. Thank you so much for your kind words, and for sharing this with me. Good luck to you and your wife with the new addition. May God Bless You Both!

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AGENTMNA 5/21/2009 4:07PM

    Powerful! Moving! Despite being sorry for your loss, I'm grateful that you have so many wonderful memories that continue to live on. You are a wonderful writer and I'm sure "Popz" appreciates the sentiments from his place in heaven. Your baby girl will be truly blessed from the lessons learned...

Take care,


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SHININGTHRU126 5/17/2009 7:34PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Eating Right with an Expecting Wife

Monday, April 27, 2009

First and foremost, let me say that I am beyond excited with the expectation of my baby. The excitement increased(and was combined with nervousness) when we found out that we were expecting a daughter. Its a beautiful thing. I cherish every moment that I can be there for my wife, and I await the arrival of my babygirl..............WELP!!! Now that I got that our of the way.....

This pregnancy is making it very difficult to eat properly. My wife and I have a great, fair and compromising relationship. We do things together, we are there for each other.......we cook for each other. When she was in school, I would cook as she was getting home late. Now that I am in school she has been doing the same...especially with my hectic work schedule. ......and then there was pregnancy...lol. For those of you that have had a child, Im sure you will be able to relate to this. First is the fatigue....which is completely understandable. Therefore she does not cook as much, which is fine, as I have told her that she doesnt have to cook.....the not cooking is not the problem. The problem is her tastebuds..lol. She has the wildest most random desires for what she wants to eat and when she wants to eat it. She comes home with bags of food for US that I cant eat. She wants US to go places that I shouldnt go....its absolutely amazing. And one of the funniest thing is that its either the pregnancy or marketing firms have up their game....but the wrong food commercial and we are leaving the house in 10 minutes...lol. I watched my ,(at one point sane) wife dip a french fry in ice cream......go figure. Another piece of humor in all of this is that her smell and taste buds have become enhanced....EVERYTHING taste GREAT(but thats a whole other blog)

Now my wife has always been there for me and has always been in my corner about weight loss.......listening....working out with me.....watching what I eat, etc......but now its a different BEAST. Because I am at work .......I still do GREAT during the week.....But on the weekends.......not so much...lol

So what have I learned from this:
1. That I do not mind it. The only thing I am concerned with at this time is making my wife happy and getting her what she wants and needs

2. That I have to be determined and willful enough to still order the things that I KNOW that I should be eating regardless of where she wants to go. This lifestyle change is not the responsibility of anyone else. It should be too important to ME to be pushed off my course. And in all actuality I think I have been doing good.........thus far.

With that said: PRAY FOR ME!!!!! I have 4 months to go and will power will only take me so far...LOL

NOTE: Please know that I realize that I can not begin to understand what all an expectant mother goes through and that this is written moreso as a test of my will and for comical effect.....I have the utmost respect for those expecting and think its the most beautiful thing on earth, so I hope no one is offended or thinks im insensitive.......


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JUSTFOCUS 5/13/2009 5:08PM

    ShiningThru126 - that is what I have been doing to some degree. I have had a few slip ups. As I always say...im a work in progress..lol.

and BABYCRACKERJACK...you are exactly right. I just told her that the other day that I am becoming an enabler and that she is probably going to plan me later. The only plus is that she is the reason that I eat healthy(more healthy..lol), and she is very conscious. Actually she has been fussed at for being too cautious of what she eats......but i definitely think you are right.


Comment edited on: 5/21/2009 3:03:54 PM

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SALAD-ADDICT 5/9/2009 8:59AM

    You would be supporting your wife and yourself if you make healthier suggestions for the both of you. I know from experience that indulging in every craving during pregnancy(especially if it's unhealthy) will mean more work for her in trying to get that extra weight off when your precious bundle is born.Otherwise,CONGRATULATIONS!!...
..and tell wifey Happy Mother's Day emoticon

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SHININGTHRU126 5/8/2009 2:20PM

    LOL - for every crazy craving you go to the store to indulge for your wife, pick up something healthier for you! (like ice cream for her and sorbet or frozen yogurt for you)

You'll get through it - think of it as a challenge to your creativity! Before you know it, your daughter will be here and you'll have a whole different set of challenges when it comes to food!

Enjoy the ride!

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IWIN4LIFE 4/28/2009 5:14PM


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JUSTFOCUS 4/27/2009 5:11PM

    I have not been able to wear cologne since month 2.....maybe earlier...lol. Its amazing because she is the one that picked most of them out....lol


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IWIN4LIFE 4/27/2009 4:33PM

    Offended. Not at all. I love your very healthy and loving expression of what you are going through. It is indeed tough times for an expectant father - LOL! The part about your wife's heightened senses . . . well any women who has ever been pregnant will appreciate you bringing that up. Just reading your blog reminded me of how awful some of my "former-favorite' perfumes smelled when I was pregnant.

You're doing a great job! Keep up the fabulous work!

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