Tuesday, April 27, 2010
I know a few people sorta know what's going on with my oldest daughter. She's about to have a baby, really any day now. But she's got this deadbeat boyfriend who's good for nothing, he's hit her a few times - once sent her to the hospital because he hit in the stomach when she was about 20plus weeks pregnant. He's been arrested, he does drugs. He's never had a job, quit school, you know the type. The last time he went to jail, we thought "this is it! He's gone for a while" but they let him out for a limited time because of the baby and his trial is in a few weeks.
The real problem? She loves him. She keeps leaving him and going back. She calls me to come get her and I drop everything for her. Like any mother would. I leave my husband in the middle of dinner, in the middle of shopping, I'll just stop what we're doing and go to her. It's hurting our whole family. It's tearing me apart. How many times have I not tucked the baby into bed because I have been running around instead? I feel like a human doormat. I feel so used. It wouldn't be so bad if she wouldn't keep going back, but she does and it hurts us all.
My biggest fear and the hardest thing to admit is that right now I don't think she is very fit to be that baby's mother. If she is with him, I am very worried about my grand-child. This is no life for a baby. Don't get me wrong, I think that she would make a great mother. She loves that baby. But as long as they are together, neither of them are stable enough to be parents. I just hope that when the baby enters the world, they (or at least, she) has a huge change of heart. I want her to suddenly see everything in that baby's eyes and know she will do right by her daughter.
Sorry for the vent.
The main reason for my blog was to say that I have not eaten. I have only had about 500 calories today. I just don't feel like eating. I get this way with stress.
Monday, April 26, 2010
I can honestly say I wasn't expecting much if anything. So when I saw that I had dropped 3.2 pounds, I was kinda happy. Especially considering that I've already been doing low-carb and my thyroid is out of whack. It's not as great as the numbers everyone else is getting and that's pretty disappointing, but it is what it is, right?
Maybe it will keep up for the rest of LFR.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
I'm not sure yet how today will pan out. It's supposed to be a rest day but I didn't get my kettlebell workout in yesterday (I did the cardio on Friday instead of the KB workout) I had planned on doing it today but I have no energy and I am feeling so emotional and just having a tough day.
To make a long story short, my daughter who is 37 weeks pregnant was having contractions yesterday and went into the hospital. I went with her because I'm her coach. It was a very long night. They sent her home after a while. Her deadbeat boyfriend was high for it all. Lovely. If I ever go to jail, it will be for murder. Just so you know.
We spent most of yesterday at a local festival and we did miles of walking so I didn't just sit around all day.
I was going to do my workout today but I'm not sure how I'll feel if I do 3 kettlebell workouts in 3 days (today, Monday and Tuesday) and I just can't get the motivation to do it.
Thursday, April 22, 2010
Just got done with my 3rd kettlebell workout and I'm not feeling too bad. Right now anyway. Tomorrow may be another story. I've realized that the pain isn't so bad if I keep moving, walking especially. I walked for 45 minutes today. The pain is definitely less today. That could be because yesterday was a rest day as well. Like I said, tomorrow may be another story. The muscles in my back are hurting pretty bad and on the video Alysia said something about leaning back too far on the swings, I think I'm doing that. Also I think my back is curving on the deadlifts, I'll have DH spot my tomorrow to check. Ok...I just had to get up and get something and I rescind my earlier statement - I hurt. My legs are quite sore right now. It was quite difficult to get up from the sitting position and then walk. Might take a bath before bed.
Had difficulty with food today. Found it rather boring to tell you the truth. Nothing sounded good. Had no meat defrosted, that was the main problem. I have no problem eating meat and vegetables, I've been doing low-carb for months. So it's not like I wanted junk, I just didn't want anything to tell you the truth. I just wasn't hungry at all. I know I can't NOT eat, so I had a salad with meatballs (made with just ground beef and egg) so glad I have things like that left in the freezer. Been really stressed over my daughter and when I'm stressed, I don't eat. Not good. Working on that.
Anyway, going to take a bath and go to bed. Happy kettlebelling ya'll that kettlebell and those who don't - you should try it, it's an awesome workout!
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