Sunday, June 17, 2012
When I decided to do the 28-Day Bootcamp Workout Challenge, I never thought I would be able to say I did it at the end of 28 days. But here I am saying "I DID IT"
I'm going to be 100% completely honest and tell you, if not for my friend, Mesama - I know I wouldn't be writing this blog today. She kept me going through motivation and understanding without even trying. Part of me did this for her. I read a blog that spoke volumes to me and I immediately saw what a truly wonderful person she is, but she couldn't see it. I wanted to invite her to do this to help her realize she can do more than gives herself credit for. I am so proud of her. Of course, I did this for me too. I am the same exact way, I do not see my own worth and this was a way to prove to myself that I too, can do it. And I did it! I really didn't think I would finish. How I feel is beyond words, I think. I've never been proud of ME before.
If you'd like more info on the challenge, click this link:
I suggest that if there's something you need to do and you're afraid or not motivated, invite a friend. I did not know Mesama for long before we started this challenge together. We just "met" and clicked on SP. It was probably a week or two later we joined the challenge. So you don't even have to know the person. Just find someone you click with and ask for help. It's a bit hard to do sometimes, asking for help. I don't often but I'm so glad I did.
Another thing that kept me going is YOU. With your motivation and inspiration. All the comments on my blogs and Sparkpage gave me reason to stick with this. I want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart.
I think you can see I'm a bit overwhelmed right now. I'm all emotional from what SP has given me, what this challenge has given me and just me. I believe in me. For the first time I really do.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
Ok, so by now - if you know me, you know my lack of blogging means lack of exercise. I haven't blogged in 2 days! Yikes, that's not good at all.
I honestly don't know what happened Thursday. I was an emotional, grumpy, touchy mess. I don't know what came over me.
Yesterday, I was at the hospital from 8 in the morning until 3:30 in the afternoon with my son.
^^ That or you might end up like my son. He has a problem with acting before thinking. Last week (Friday) he got upset for very good reason, but acted without thought. Instead of calming himself down, he let anger take over and punched the floor. He broke his hand in what is called a "boxer's break" the bone going from his pinky to his wrist was completely broken and overlapping itself. He went for 2 days without seeing someone because his father said he just bruised it. I took one look at it and told him it was broke. He went to the ER and had it soft-casted. Then yesterday, they put a metal plate in his hand. Hopefully that nasty scar will remind him why he needs to calm down.
Not exercising for 2 full days has taught me an important lesson. I NEED to exercise! I don't like to exercise. In fact, I strongly dislike exercise. What I dislike even more than exercise however is the pain I'm in when I don't do it. Yesterday, every joint in my body hurt. This could have been caused by stress when my son's surgery took 3.5 hours instead of the 1 we were told. Or it could have been caused by dragging a 200 pound treadmill in the house, not alone of course! And I really can't take credit for much of that work though.
But yeah, I got a treadmill yesterday! I'm so excited! I've realized my goal of running someday is a bit far-fetched and might not happen. I mean, really - I have terrible knees and I'm so big. But I am going to do my best. I'll be happy with a slow jog to be honest. The way I see it is - I might not reach my goals, but I'll be closer than if I hadn't tried. So all I can do is try.
Alright, I've jabbered long enough. I did 3 bootcamp works outs this morning. 3!! One right after another. I did not want to put any of them off and end up not doing one. I wanted caught up. It wasn't exactly easy, but it wasn't the worst thing I've done either. The workouts I did today were:
I also tried out the treadmill for a few minutes. I didn't have my shoes on, so that might have been a factor but I was REALLY slow! I am actually afraid of it. I keep seeing those clips of Biggest Loser when someone gets flung off the end and ends up bloody and bruised. Oh please don't let that happen to me! How embarrassing to be scared of a stupid treadmill!
Anyway, I'm back on track and feeling pretty good. I am going to work out some more on the treadmill later, this time with shoes. Right now, the lawn needs some attention.
Wednesday, June 13, 2012
Yep, you do.
I've been told a few times lately that I inspire too. That's pretty cool. Things like that keep me going. I want to show all of you that I'm not a quitter because I don't want you to quit. Maybe seeing me push through the tough days will remind you that you too can push through. And you inspire someone else to do the same. Isn't that just awesome!? I know that there have been days I do not want to do whatever it is I have to do but someone, somewhere makes me realize - I can do it.
I don't know if this even makes sense anymore...I've got all these amazing thoughts running through my head and can't seem to get them out right! About how we're all this big circle of inspiration, pushing each other to be who we're meant to be. I do my thing to push you, you do your thing to push me. And we're all getting where we're meant to be, learning to believe in ourselves along the way. It really doesn't matter how we get there, just as long as we get there. I'm getting there. You're getting there. We're doing this together.
It made sense in my head.
So anyway...me and a friend (woohoo MESAMA, go girl!) are doing this 28 day bootcamp workout challenge thing. A few people have joined us and I'm so proud of them. Even after some of our "Omg, that workout was evil" they still clicked that link. Brave souls, they are. Do you dare? Click this link:
Really, this has been an amazing challenge. I have gained such confidence in myself. Each week you do the same 7 workouts. Each week you realize it's easier than the week before and it gives you a sense of pride.
Today was day 24 for us, video #3 for the 4th and final time. My shoulder didn't like this one a bit. Funny that painting almost 2 weeks ago still hurts my shoulder. I lowered my arm a bit to take the pressure off but was still able to manage the moves. That video is here:
Good thing I got it done bright and early because I realized with not a moment to spare that my little girl had an eye dr appointment, so we rushed off to that. I became Taxi for a few hours after that, running this kid here and that kid there and got home just in time to do dinner. Another reason to get in your workout early.
And with that, this girl is going to bed. And remember:
Tuesday, June 12, 2012
Lately I've been stuck on the fact that my weight really hasn't changed much in the past few weeks. It was getting me really down and so I decided it was time to do a motivational task. Time to go back and see how far I've come.
I have lost 35 pounds! That's a small child! Actually that's almost the size of MY small child.
And another one just because she's so stinking cute.
35 pounds ago, I had to use the handrail to pull myself up my stairs especially at night when all my aches and pains settle in. Today I climb my stairs without the aide of the handrail. One day, this will be me.
35 pounds ago, I didn't like my hubby touching me because I was embarrassed of my weight. Today (well the other day, but that's nunya) I made love with the light on. Now this one is more about my confidence than about my weight. And really this is huge for me. Even he commented on it.
35 pounds ago, I would drive around the parking lot a few times to find a spot close to the store. Today I take the first spot I come to and actually aim to park a little further away.
Speaking of parking lots, I always return my cart to the corral nowadays. That wouldn't have happened 35 pounds ago!
35 pounds ago, I had to force myself to exercise and usually chose the couch instead. Today, I find enjoyment in the burn.
35 pounds ago, I would eat until sick. Today I eat until satisfied.
Today I make healthy choices, not so 35 pounds ago.
35 pounds ago, I put myself on the back burner and would crash and burn under stress. Today, I care about myself and make time for me because I know I'm worth it.
35 pounds ago, I was afraid of shining. Today I push myself because I want to shine. I'm no longer afraid to be outstanding.
35 pounds ago, I let my pain defeat me. Today I push through the pain.
35 pounds ago, I let the past eat me. Today I have embraced the fact that the past makes me the strong person I am today. I can let it go now.
Today I accept me. 35 pounds ago, I hated me.
35 pounds ago, I felt hopeless. Today I have hope. I know I can do this. I AM doing this.
35 pounds ago, I never would have even dreamed of taking part in a 5k. Today I can say "I did that!!" with pride.
35 pounds ago, I felt like I was dying after walking up my driveway. Today I can walk 2 miles without being out of breath.
Just 3 weeks ago, the bootcamp workouts about killed me. Today I did my workout with relative ease. Twice!
What is the bootcamp workout, you say. The bootcamp workout is a challenge me and a Sparkfriend are doing. It's the 28-day bootcamp workout challenge. Are you interested in learning more? Click here:
We're currently on day 23. This was today's workout. I did it once and then again. Just for fun. No really, we're supposed to amp up our workouts a few times this week and so I did.
Monday, June 11, 2012
I've been a bit bummed about the fact that I have hardly lost any weight the last few weeks. Come on now, I'm still a big girl - I should be losing. I think I keep sabotaging myself at just the "right" time. I have to get over this hump, I just have to. I don't know what's stopping me.
I have been doing these bootcamp challenges for 3 weeks now, they have to be doing something, right? I know, I know - I shouldn't be looking at only the scale, I should measure success other ways. And really, I DO feel better both physically and emotionally. I'm almost to the end of something, I hardly ever finish anything! I'm going to finish this! Now if that stupid hunk of metal would just cooperate with me!
I read a blog in the last couple of days where the poster had a goal to run/jog mile by 2013 and I thought "hey, that's a cool goal. I want that too" but then today as we walked 2 miles and my knee was burning and aching, I realized that goal might be pretty silly for a girl with over 100 pounds still left to lose and suffers from chronic pain (thanks a lot fibromyalgia) I still want it though, how crazy is that? Ok, so maybe not by 2013, but I want it! I don't know why I even want to run, I've never been a runner. I've never been anything really. I'm not saying that to be down on myself, I'm stating fact. I have never been good at anything, especially sports. I want to do something! Maybe something else will catch my fancy in the future, but for now I've got running on my mind. I think I'm just in need of something I'm good at. Silly.
Alright, so onto the topic of my blog...took me long enough, eh?
I'm doing the 28 day bootcamp challenge with a friend. If you want to have a look-see at what's it's all about, click below.
We're on day 22. Our workout was a 10 minute cardio video. For some reason it really bothered my knee today. I wanted to cry by the end. It's never bothered me like this. I still pushed through and got to the end. Here's the workout for those interested:
For our final week, it's suggested we repeat videos. I didn't want to repeat today's video and I honestly didn't feel like doing any of the others either so I jumped on my elliptical after my workout and pushed myself until my knee was burning again. On, hubby's lunch break - we walked 2 miles. It was a hot and hilly walk, but I wasn't so out of breath as the last time we did it! Thank goodness for those little non-scale victories.
Ah, the heat... (I just had an epiphany) now I know why my knee is bothering me so much today! I always hurt more on the hot days. Stupid fibro! I'm sorry I keep mentioning that today. It's still a new diagnosis for me. I did not want to accept that I had it, but I have ever single symptom and it's time to snap myself out of denial. I didn't want "it" to be fibromyalgia. I don't want something that I'll have for life. Whatever, it is what it is. I just have to find a way to manage it and work with instead of against my body.
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