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Cilantro Still Purrs

Sunday, August 19, 2012

Cilantro is still with us! She seems to have found more energy. Still, BF is thinking it will be soon and is also talking about getting another cat or kitten so Juneau won't be lonely.

Thank you for all of your support. She will cross the rainbow bridge soon, but not yet.

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CARRAND 8/20/2012 8:48PM


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ERINMARIE424 8/20/2012 6:20PM


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CATLADY52 8/20/2012 5:38PM

    She may be having 'late life syndrome' where she has periods of acting like a youungster again. My son's cat is going through that stage now (he's 16). emoticon

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WONDEROONA 8/20/2012 5:02PM

    I'm glad that you get to spend some more time with Cilantro. I just lost Sneezie last Wednesday. It was her time and I cherished the last few days with her very much. Enjoy your time and don't regret your decision to end her suffering. emoticon

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RFJSJ50 8/20/2012 12:38PM

    Enjoy the time you spend with Cilantro. She will remain in your heart forever and these moments will build precious memories.

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_LINDA 8/20/2012 12:52AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon
My thoughts are with you and Cilantro -if its her time may it be peaceful and painless..

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_RAMONA 8/19/2012 11:50PM

    {{{{{{{{{ HUGS }}}}}}}}}

...I've lost five so far... they all carve a special place in our lives.

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Proba bly Going Silent, but So Thankful!

Tuesday, August 07, 2012

emoticon , Sparkfriends, for all of your comments, words of encouragement and goddies. Cilantro is still with us and will be (I hope) until I get back on Sunday evening. BF is already depressed, moody and very difficult to deal with. However, I know. I know. I know he is dreading losing his beloved Cilantro. So I am being patient and not nagging him about anything.

I leave tomorrow evening for my all-too-brief visit to New Mexico to see my stepmother, brother and nephew. I may get to see my sister and her 3 children and my aunt and a cousin, but nothing is set. I am there for such a short time. I will arrive after midnight on Thursday morning and will be home in time for dinner Sunday evening. Only 2 time zones away, but it takes hours and hours to get there. I may or may not have internet access, so my silence will be for the family visit and not because of furbaby tears.

My brother is much younger and we will do something we've never done before - we are going together to pay respects at the grave of our older brother. E died when H was a year old and my youngest sister was born the year afterwards (they are from Dad's second marriage). It will mean a lot to me to visit the cemetery and be sort of with both of my brothers for the first time in my life. Both are heroes to me. My older brother protected me when we were children and lost his life saving another boy and my younger brother has served two tours of duty in the Navy.

I may also get to pay respects at the grave of my beloved first grade teacher. She died a few months ago just before her 98th birthday. My last letter was read during her service because she called me "my first grader".

Thank you for your love, support and encouragement! I pray Cilantro stays with us until I get home. We have a disposable camera and have been taking pictures of her this week. She loves her spider plant in the front yard, loves sleeping on Daddy's pillow and snuggled in his arms. I'll share when the pictures are developed.

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NONIE_C 8/19/2012 10:33PM

    I hope you had a good visit with your brother. It sounds like you had some very special time together planned. I hope Cilantro is still with you, but if she has passed on to kitty heaven, she will still be in your heart.
emoticon Nicole

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LIBBYFITZ 8/17/2012 9:10PM

    I know how much this trip means to you. Enjoy your family.

I am travelling from Perth to our small state Tasmania for just a weekend to celebrate my nephews 18th b'day. It will take a total of 5 hours flying, not to mention all the waiting time.

Look forward to seeing the photos.

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TEENY_BIKINI 8/15/2012 4:05PM

    Have a great trip. So sorry about Cilantro. Sending big hugs.


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CATLADY52 8/8/2012 5:28PM

    I hope Cilantro will make it until you return. emoticon I hope your trip will be good for all involved.

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_LINDA 8/8/2012 2:08PM

    Enjoy this visit with your family to the fullest! That is awesome you and your brother will go together to your other brother's grave. Its wonderful you will also get to pay your respects to your first grade teacher! But Mali, do try to have some fun on this trip too. Too much sadness with that and also your poor fur baby in crisis :((
Sending healing and soothing thoughts and warm hugs,
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CARRAND 8/8/2012 9:14AM

    Your visit sounds lovely. I'll be thinking of you.

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MISSY455 8/8/2012 1:57AM

    I hope you have a lovely visit with your family, even though it will be for such a short period.

I was so sorry to read about your Cilantro. We were pet free for 5 years after I had to have our 19 year old cat put down. It was time, but a very hard decision. I understand wanting to be there, as I stayed with our little guy even though my hubby went to the car. He just couldn't stay. My thoughts are with you.

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Cilantro's Purr Will Soon Be Silenced

Monday, August 06, 2012

In the spring of 1996, a coworker told me that she had rescued a feral cat. The cat gave birth to five kittens and she was looking for homes. There were two black and white boys and 1 fluffy grey boy and two fluffy grey girls. I told her I would take the runt, the one that could be hardest to place. As soon as she was weaned, I had a tiny grey fluffball in a box with holes cut out for air to get home from work. As soon as I put the box in the car, she got out and tried to sit on my feet . She did not understand I could not drive like that. I put her back in the box and every time she popped her head up, I pushed her back into the box. Fortunately, the commute was short!

As soon as I brought her in the house, I put her in BF’s hands. She completely fit in the palm of his hand, that’s how tiny she was. Instant bonding. He has always been the center of her universe. He named her Cilantro and that fits her personality. She has always been assertive but not aggressive, like the flavor of the herb. As a kitten, she slept on his chest. She played hard and things would go suddenly quiet. We’d look for her and find her in some odd position, completely out – asleep. Cilantro remained tiny in size but enormous in spirit.

She has many nicknames but my favorite for her is “PurrGrouch”. She purrs constantly but also meows sharply if you do something she does not like. There are rules of engagement that differ depending on who it is. I need to obtain pre-touch sniff authorization – she smells me before I am allowed to touch her. BF needs no such authorization. If he’s around, she covers neatly and if it’s me, she leaps out of the box as if to say “I don’t have time for this”. She does not like to be touched anywhere except around the head.

Cilantro hates change and always has. She “rounds us up” for bedtime and will wake me up for breakfast at the usual time if I dream of sleeping in. Everyone says that cats act as if we are there to serve them. Cilantro is that in spades. Quite the prima donna!

Six years ago, we nearly lost her. Remember those melamine-tainted cat treats? She was sick before the story hit the news. I spent more money on her care then than I ever dreamed I would. Every day since then has been a bonus. She was so sick, she crawled under our bed (which has only about 3 inches clearance). We could not find her! Finally, BF lifted the bed and pulled her out. She slept with him for the next two weeks just as she had as a kitten. It was as if she remembered how much she loved her “dad” and decided to live.

For years, she has slept next to me, purring me to sleep. (BF is too restless for her taste). During the day, she sleeps on his pillow. We call it her “safety” spot. She used to go there when she was unhappy or not feeling well or to escape our rambunctious Maine Coon, Juneau.

When we got Cilantro, we had a part Russian Blue named Bug and he was completely my boy! I got him when he was about a year and a half old. A coworker was moving to an apartment where he could not have cats. He gave the other cat to an older lady and that cat died a few years later. Bug lived to be almost 22. At the end of his life, he seemed forgetful, dazed and confused. Having never had an old pet before, I did not know what was happening. BF wanted me to do something. One morning, as I left for work, I said goodbye to Bug, but he was up on a shelf and I could not reach to touch him. When I got home, there was no grey mini panther. It took months for me to get the truth from BF. Bug had died and he had buried him in the back yard. Since then, on occasion, BF has made hurtful comments about how Bug suffered and I waited too long. But I am silent and supportive now.

Cilantro has reached that state of confusion. BF was ready for us to take her to the vet tonight and changed his mind. I am going out of town for 4 days starting Wednesday evening. He has decided that he does not want to take her to the vet until I get back. I am very concerned for his emotional well-being. He is one of the “walking wounded” in terms of handling emotions. As I write this, Cilantro joins me on the couch. At her heaviest, she was about 8 pounds and is half that or less. Her fur is still soft and fluffy as if she never outgrew her kitten fur. Oddly, the grey is turning brown.

BF and I both agree that she deserves a gentle escort. He called the local humane society today. They quoted $75 and, no, we could not be with her. We do not want her to be scared any more than absolutely necessary and he wants to be holding her at the end. I called the vet who took care of her during the melamine scare. They quoted $128 including cremation and, yes, we can be with her. BF does not care for this vet because he thought they were out for a buck when she was so sick. But I am paying (he does not work) and I saw how gentle and compassionate they were with her. I wanted to be there with Bug at the end and it still hurts that I was not. I want to be there with Cilantro at the end. They both gave me so much, easing their way across the rainbow bridge is the least I can do.

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LIBBYFITZ 8/17/2012 9:04PM

    Of course you want to hold her. I am glad you found someone who would let you. That is a reasonable price.

I have been with all my fur babies when they crossed the rainbow bridge. Would not have it any other way. Big Hugs at this time in your life.

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NONIE_C 8/7/2012 8:19PM

    I completely understand, and would feel (have felt) the same way. When my Nisa passed last December, it was a blessing of fate and timing that she passed in my arms instead of at the vet. She just curled up with me and went to sleep. Oh, I get so sad just thinking of it. If I'd had to take her to the vet, I would have ABSOLUTELY wanted to be with her. I think you're doing the right thing, for all of you.
I'm sorry you have to say farewell to your sweet friend. emoticon

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CATLADY52 8/7/2012 7:21PM

    Your wanting to be with Cilantro is something I can totally relate with. emoticon

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    They come into our lives and spread joy and love, but are gone too swiftly. The memories stay in our hearts. So sorry for your loss.

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GINGERLY4 8/7/2012 1:42PM

    It is so hard to let out kitties go, but I agree to the gentle good bye. We had a cat named Sable and my husband was there to the end with him (I stayed home with our kids). His health was really failing and it was so painful to watch him struggle.

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ERINMARIE424 8/7/2012 12:18PM

    So sorry. Hope the memories of the fun years you had with Cilantro give you comfort in the sad time ahead.

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_LINDA 8/7/2012 10:31AM

    Oh Mali :((( Its so hard to lose your precious fur baby. But by all means be there to comfort her in the end no matter what the cost. We owe our loved ones that much for all the joys they have given us in our lives. I was holding our Bendix as he quietly slipped into a permanent sleep. We were lucky our vet came into our home to do it, so at least he was in a familiar place. It was so hard to say goodbye to our precious dog as he was mentally alert, it was just that his great strong body was reduced to the weakness of a newborn riddled with cancer, so that he was collapsing just trying to do his business:(( We did not want him to suffer any more.
My thoughts are with you during this difficult time..
emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CARRAND 8/7/2012 9:11AM

    I cried buckets when we put Cooper to sleep. The vet was very nice. I took Cooper in because he could hardly move. We were lifting him in and out of the litter box. He was falling face first into his water bowl and wouldn't eat anything. The vet diagnosed terminal liver disease and said there was nothing he could do for him. He let me call my husband to come home from work to be with me so we could both hold Cooper as the vet administered the final shot. The end was peaceful and dignified.

My thoughts go out to you all.

emoticon emoticon

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AUSSIEFLOSS 8/6/2012 11:08PM

    You won't regret it dear. I mean, letting her go before she suffers much more. I had a great spaniel dog as a kid and my mother made sure that we knew that if something came up she would not let the dog suffer. She was too good of a dog, and too well loved to see her suffer. When I was about 23, and Brendie (the dog) was I think almost 16, when we think she had cancer, and then broke a hip when she slipped on the linoleum floor. The vet we took her to said we could 'let her go longer'. We all knew what was best for her. We all shook our heads and said 'No...no more'. So we let her go, and it was heart wrenching, and I refused to let the vet dispose of her body. I buried her in my backyard, with all my roses from my garden I could possibly get, and I buried her under a rose bush as well. It was sad but I don't regret any of it. I 'm glad she was in our lives, to comfort me when I needed a cuddle, and gave me responsibility as a child growing up. We still talk about her. And my 3 sisters and mom all were glad we took care of her after her passing. We did it right in our hearts so don't be afraid to do what feels right for a creature you love. Your BF might not want to be alone, so that's why he doesn't want to do it before you leave. Much hope that it goes well for you.

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RFJSJ50 8/6/2012 10:41PM

    Cilantro and her humans are both in my prayers.

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LOLAINSC 8/6/2012 10:39PM

    So sorry you must lose your precious kitty. It is so hard to decide what is the best thing to do when they become old and sick. However, those good years when they graced your life and the knowledge that because of you it was a good life indeed are worth the sacrifice in heartache and tears at parting.
“The pain I feel now is the happiness I had before. That's the deal.” C.S. Lewis

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Mental Overload

Thursday, August 02, 2012

My crashed hard drive did not leave yet. I thought it would be back tomorrow and I'd have my files. Now, it sounds as if I might get only the one for the subpoena and that all the other "stuff", 6.5 years worth, is gone. I guess I'll find out next week. It has been weird - almost as if I am a new employee and handcuffed with few resources.

The exec admin for the department said she is being transferred to support the IT group. She has been doing both. No official word, but she has stopped, stone cold, doing anything to support the attorneys and the rest of the team. That is not the way this company works and those of us who know about this are stunned. My mind is blowing up thinking about all the tasks I was told to give her and I bet they will come back to me until or unless her spot is filled.

My fried hard drive, the need for an anti-glare screen for my blindingly bright new monitor (even with the settings adjusted) seem to have been the kiss of death for my OT. Perhaps it's coincidence. I am really hurting financially. I may look into getting another part time job after I get back from my hurried vacation next week.

This week, my boss told the students that one might be extended past the summer. Not sure if he will get that in the budget, One of them asked to have breakfast with me tomorrow to talk. Don't know if it's about that or something else. I have become something of a mentor for her. It occurred to me that my boss might ask me to weigh in on choosing one if the extension is approved. I've never been in this position before.

I forgot what else I was going to share. I am on mental overload! With a migraine and back spasms to boot!

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CATLADY52 8/3/2012 6:32PM

    Sounds like you'd better sit back and relax for five. emoticon

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CARRAND 8/3/2012 1:34PM

    Work is certainly a challenge for you right now. I hope you can relax and enjoy your weekend.

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_LINDA 8/3/2012 1:09AM

    So sorry to hear this :( That is all you need more dumped on your plate. Oh, I so feel for you if you have to choose which one of those poor students to keep, I would SOO hate to do that. Bet that migraine came from your stress :(
That student is lucky to have you for a mentor -enjoy your breakfast with her..
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Sad Day with Good News (Maybe) & an Uplifting Afternoon

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Today, I said goodby with lots of hugs to my first boss at my present employer. Mary is one of the people who was recently laid off. she is such a "mom". Warm, nurturing and fabulous. She is also a nuclear scientist. I learned so much from her about how the company works! She gave mea great foundation upon which I've built my current career. I will miss her!

My boss told the IT team to send my fried hard drive to a company that may be able to retrieve my files! I hope, I hope, I hope! I also hope it does not cost too much. We're talking anywhere between $500 to $2500 and takes about 2 days. I am stunned that the company decided to do this. I am sure it's becaise of the current subpoena. It took ALL DAY for the backup to run on my new computer which I don't understand because I have very little on the new one! My department's exec admin ordered a filter for my huge monitor - even with the setting way, way, way down, the glare sends me in the direction of a migraine.

I had a meeting with my boss and our three students to discuss the progress on the archiving project. I was nervous that my boss would be unhappy with my directing the project and mentoring the students, but he seemed, with the group, happy with the work. We will not finish the project as originally scoped, but, in fairness, we had never done this project before so it has been a learning process for everyone. I walked out of there so inspired and humbled. These college students are amazing and I am so blessed to have the privilege of working with them!

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NONIE_C 8/1/2012 9:55PM

    I'm sorry you had to say good bye to a beloved coworker. That's never fun. However, I'm glad you did have a positive experience at work too.
Kinda like life...a mix of sweet and sour.
Hope you have a great week!!!

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CATLADY52 8/1/2012 5:34PM

    The cost/benefit ratio on getting infomation off your hard drive is such that it is worth every penny spent. Even not for profit entities have to consider what is best. emoticon

I'm happy for you that the archiving project is turning out well. emoticon

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CARRAND 8/1/2012 5:14PM

    I hope they can retrieve your files! I think those people are pretty good at that sort of stuff these days.

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