Sunday, August 19, 2012
Cilantro is still with us! She seems to have found more energy. Still, BF is thinking it will be soon and is also talking about getting another cat or kitten so Juneau won't be lonely.
Thank you for all of your support. She will cross the rainbow bridge soon, but not yet.
Tuesday, August 07, 2012
, Sparkfriends, for all of your comments, words of encouragement and goddies. Cilantro is still with us and will be (I hope) until I get back on Sunday evening. BF is already depressed, moody and very difficult to deal with. However, I know. I know. I know he is dreading losing his beloved Cilantro. So I am being patient and not nagging him about anything.
I leave tomorrow evening for my all-too-brief visit to New Mexico to see my stepmother, brother and nephew. I may get to see my sister and her 3 children and my aunt and a cousin, but nothing is set. I am there for such a short time. I will arrive after midnight on Thursday morning and will be home in time for dinner Sunday evening. Only 2 time zones away, but it takes hours and hours to get there. I may or may not have internet access, so my silence will be for the family visit and not because of furbaby tears.
My brother is much younger and we will do something we've never done before - we are going together to pay respects at the grave of our older brother. E died when H was a year old and my youngest sister was born the year afterwards (they are from Dad's second marriage). It will mean a lot to me to visit the cemetery and be sort of with both of my brothers for the first time in my life. Both are heroes to me. My older brother protected me when we were children and lost his life saving another boy and my younger brother has served two tours of duty in the Navy.
I may also get to pay respects at the grave of my beloved first grade teacher. She died a few months ago just before her 98th birthday. My last letter was read during her service because she called me "my first grader".
Thank you for your love, support and encouragement! I pray Cilantro stays with us until I get home. We have a disposable camera and have been taking pictures of her this week. She loves her spider plant in the front yard, loves sleeping on Daddy's pillow and snuggled in his arms. I'll share when the pictures are developed.
Monday, August 06, 2012
In the spring of 1996, a coworker told me that she had rescued a feral cat. The cat gave birth to five kittens and she was looking for homes. There were two black and white boys and 1 fluffy grey boy and two fluffy grey girls. I told her I would take the runt, the one that could be hardest to place. As soon as she was weaned, I had a tiny grey fluffball in a box with holes cut out for air to get home from work. As soon as I put the box in the car, she got out and tried to sit on my feet . She did not understand I could not drive like that. I put her back in the box and every time she popped her head up, I pushed her back into the box. Fortunately, the commute was short!
As soon as I brought her in the house, I put her in BF’s hands. She completely fit in the palm of his hand, that’s how tiny she was. Instant bonding. He has always been the center of her universe. He named her Cilantro and that fits her personality. She has always been assertive but not aggressive, like the flavor of the herb. As a kitten, she slept on his chest. She played hard and things would go suddenly quiet. We’d look for her and find her in some odd position, completely out – asleep. Cilantro remained tiny in size but enormous in spirit.
She has many nicknames but my favorite for her is “PurrGrouch”. She purrs constantly but also meows sharply if you do something she does not like. There are rules of engagement that differ depending on who it is. I need to obtain pre-touch sniff authorization – she smells me before I am allowed to touch her. BF needs no such authorization. If he’s around, she covers neatly and if it’s me, she leaps out of the box as if to say “I don’t have time for this”. She does not like to be touched anywhere except around the head.
Cilantro hates change and always has. She “rounds us up” for bedtime and will wake me up for breakfast at the usual time if I dream of sleeping in. Everyone says that cats act as if we are there to serve them. Cilantro is that in spades. Quite the prima donna!
Six years ago, we nearly lost her. Remember those melamine-tainted cat treats? She was sick before the story hit the news. I spent more money on her care then than I ever dreamed I would. Every day since then has been a bonus. She was so sick, she crawled under our bed (which has only about 3 inches clearance). We could not find her! Finally, BF lifted the bed and pulled her out. She slept with him for the next two weeks just as she had as a kitten. It was as if she remembered how much she loved her “dad” and decided to live.
For years, she has slept next to me, purring me to sleep. (BF is too restless for her taste). During the day, she sleeps on his pillow. We call it her “safety” spot. She used to go there when she was unhappy or not feeling well or to escape our rambunctious Maine Coon, Juneau.
When we got Cilantro, we had a part Russian Blue named Bug and he was completely my boy! I got him when he was about a year and a half old. A coworker was moving to an apartment where he could not have cats. He gave the other cat to an older lady and that cat died a few years later. Bug lived to be almost 22. At the end of his life, he seemed forgetful, dazed and confused. Having never had an old pet before, I did not know what was happening. BF wanted me to do something. One morning, as I left for work, I said goodbye to Bug, but he was up on a shelf and I could not reach to touch him. When I got home, there was no grey mini panther. It took months for me to get the truth from BF. Bug had died and he had buried him in the back yard. Since then, on occasion, BF has made hurtful comments about how Bug suffered and I waited too long. But I am silent and supportive now.
Cilantro has reached that state of confusion. BF was ready for us to take her to the vet tonight and changed his mind. I am going out of town for 4 days starting Wednesday evening. He has decided that he does not want to take her to the vet until I get back. I am very concerned for his emotional well-being. He is one of the “walking wounded” in terms of handling emotions. As I write this, Cilantro joins me on the couch. At her heaviest, she was about 8 pounds and is half that or less. Her fur is still soft and fluffy as if she never outgrew her kitten fur. Oddly, the grey is turning brown.
BF and I both agree that she deserves a gentle escort. He called the local humane society today. They quoted $75 and, no, we could not be with her. We do not want her to be scared any more than absolutely necessary and he wants to be holding her at the end. I called the vet who took care of her during the melamine scare. They quoted $128 including cremation and, yes, we can be with her. BF does not care for this vet because he thought they were out for a buck when she was so sick. But I am paying (he does not work) and I saw how gentle and compassionate they were with her. I wanted to be there with Bug at the end and it still hurts that I was not. I want to be there with Cilantro at the end. They both gave me so much, easing their way across the rainbow bridge is the least I can do.
Thursday, August 02, 2012
My crashed hard drive did not leave yet. I thought it would be back tomorrow and I'd have my files. Now, it sounds as if I might get only the one for the subpoena and that all the other "stuff", 6.5 years worth, is gone. I guess I'll find out next week. It has been weird - almost as if I am a new employee and handcuffed with few resources.
The exec admin for the department said she is being transferred to support the IT group. She has been doing both. No official word, but she has stopped, stone cold, doing anything to support the attorneys and the rest of the team. That is not the way this company works and those of us who know about this are stunned. My mind is blowing up thinking about all the tasks I was told to give her and I bet they will come back to me until or unless her spot is filled.
My fried hard drive, the need for an anti-glare screen for my blindingly bright new monitor (even with the settings adjusted) seem to have been the kiss of death for my OT. Perhaps it's coincidence. I am really hurting financially. I may look into getting another part time job after I get back from my hurried vacation next week.
This week, my boss told the students that one might be extended past the summer. Not sure if he will get that in the budget, One of them asked to have breakfast with me tomorrow to talk. Don't know if it's about that or something else. I have become something of a mentor for her. It occurred to me that my boss might ask me to weigh in on choosing one if the extension is approved. I've never been in this position before.
I forgot what else I was going to share. I am on mental overload! With a migraine and back spasms to boot!
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Today, I said goodby with lots of hugs to my first boss at my present employer. Mary is one of the people who was recently laid off. she is such a "mom". Warm, nurturing and fabulous. She is also a nuclear scientist. I learned so much from her about how the company works! She gave mea great foundation upon which I've built my current career. I will miss her!
My boss told the IT team to send my fried hard drive to a company that may be able to retrieve my files! I hope, I hope, I hope! I also hope it does not cost too much. We're talking anywhere between $500 to $2500 and takes about 2 days. I am stunned that the company decided to do this. I am sure it's becaise of the current subpoena. It took ALL DAY for the backup to run on my new computer which I don't understand because I have very little on the new one! My department's exec admin ordered a filter for my huge monitor - even with the setting way, way, way down, the glare sends me in the direction of a migraine.
I had a meeting with my boss and our three students to discuss the progress on the archiving project. I was nervous that my boss would be unhappy with my directing the project and mentoring the students, but he seemed, with the group, happy with the work. We will not finish the project as originally scoped, but, in fairness, we had never done this project before so it has been a learning process for everyone. I walked out of there so inspired and humbled. These college students are amazing and I am so blessed to have the privilege of working with them!
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