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A Cautionary Tale?

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

Last night, when I got home and logged into my personal email account, I got a huge surprise. An HR rep for a local high tech company found my info on LinkedIn and asked me if she could send me a job description for an openinng in her company. She thought I might be a good fit. Flattered and curious, I said yes. Her reply was almost immediate including the description and the salary range.

I realize this is analogous to those "preapproved" credit card offers. I have been invited to apply. It does not mean I get it. But, still. It was a great surprise!

The floor of the salary range is more than $20K more than I make. Of course, I read the description. Parts of the job I am familiar with, some I have zero or limited experience with (and no interest in).

I looked at their website and was intrigued by their business - it dovetails with my interests and past experience.

I did not sleep much last night. I emailed my resume this morning. She replaied that she had forwarrded it to the hiring manager for review.

In the meantime, I contacted two paralegal mentors. One said "go for it". The other said "run away!" I used to work with both and I trust their judgment. Turns out the one who said "run away" used to work at this company! What she shared with me about the company, their culture and their personnel made me want to take a shower.

Next time I research a company, I will include their name + the word "litigation". Yikes.

I am staying put for now. I love my job. I like and respect the people I work with. I have a short commute. I could only wish for more money, but this does not appear to be the right open door.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATLADY52 7/20/2012 5:41PM

    Sometimes you just need to have confirmation that staying where you are is really best. emoticon

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DESERTDREAMERS 7/20/2012 12:57PM

    Glad you checked it out!

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_LINDA 7/19/2012 7:53PM

    Wow! Lucky you had this warning before going in too deep! For sure it pays to research something like this fully. Sorry for the disappointment though, as is usual when something sounds too good to be true...
I just hope you have job security in your present job, because with all the firings, it sure seems like a nail biter working there wondering who will be next. It doesn't hurt to have a look around for something better. Costs nothing but a little time and effort..
Hope you have a good week..
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CARRAND 7/19/2012 6:00PM

    I'm glad you got a 2nd opinion! It pays to be cautious about anything on the internet.

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BYEFATNANNY 7/19/2012 3:13PM

    Good choice, good thing your friend gave warning. It is good to check. I guess the grass is not always greener on the other side. As I think I mentioned before, I am a govt. paralegal and could make much more money at the "big" firms, but like my low key job and think the pay off is worth it. Good choice.

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DENRNAJ 7/18/2012 10:12PM

    Wow, that is a cautionary tale- thanks for posting.

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I Did Not Fall on My Face!

Thursday, July 05, 2012

This afternoon, I had the follow-up to Sunday's trip to the ER - a stress test. I've never had one and did not know what to expect. i was afraid I would fall, fall or otherwise make a complete fool of myself. I actually went longer than they needed and the test was a huge success. No heart problems, no hypertension.

Still no answer for the event that brought me to the ER on Sunday.

In other news, on the heels of learning of Christie's mastectomies, I learned another friend lost her sister this morning. Carolyn needed a lung transplant that did not happen.
Carolyn's fiance, Gary, died earlier this year for the lack of a kidney transplant.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARRAND 7/7/2012 7:14PM

    Woo hoo on the stress test!

I'm sorry to hear about your friends who died without the transplants they needed. My husband got a kidney transplant from his brother and it saved his life. It may have saved his brother's life, too, because he had to lose 40 pounds and get his blood pressure down in order to be a donor. He did that, and kept the weight off and is in the best health of his life.

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MACNANA 7/7/2012 12:28PM

    Thank you for your comment on my post. I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. Sometimes it seem as though these things come in droves in our lives. I'm glad for you that the test was successful - that's something less to wonder about now. emoticon

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ERINMARIE424 7/6/2012 9:44PM

    Glad the test went OK. Sorry to hear about your friend's sister. I've had friends pass while waiting for organs, and it just seems so unfair.

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_LINDA 7/6/2012 1:24AM

    I experienced much the same thing as you and the stress test was negative as well -that is good news. Perhaps it was a result of the stress you have been going through.
So very sorry to hear of this couple losing their lives for want of a transplant :((
Like the others have mentioned -you need to find a way to ease some of the stress you are dealing with -like meditation, find ways to empty your mind and be at peace..
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ACIMPEGGY 7/5/2012 10:34PM

    Sweetie, let's think positive....somehow we gotta turn things around for ourselves! Hugs...

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MISSY455 7/5/2012 10:11PM

    So glad the test was successful, and they found no issues. I hope you find a way to lessen some of the stress in your life. It has made a huge difference in my health.

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MSKITYOCAT 7/5/2012 10:03PM

  stress can mimic heart symptoms. Enough already with sorrows in your life. Blessings on your journey from now on.

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KNITTINGNAN 7/5/2012 10:00PM

  At least you were able to pass your stress test. When I had one, I had never been on a treadmill before, and failed miserably. The man taking the same test behind a curtain next to me kept offering me words of encouragement as I am panting and begging to get off the treadmill. When we both finished, he pulled back the curtain and revealed that he was a shriveled up little old man in his 90s. I was mortified.

Like you, I was experiencing a lot of family stress at the time, which triggered symptoms of a heart attack. Take time for yourself. Learn some meditation techniques to relax....deep breathing in a quiet room. You will get through this. emoticon

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Yvonne, Christi and Me

Monday, July 02, 2012

Yvonne sent me an email yesterday saying that she had received my card and that we need to talk. Progress towards reconciliation? Not sure.

Late last week, I learned that Christi is undergoing a double mastectomy tomorrow. She said she found a lump about the size of a pencil eraser and this is the result! I am thankful she found it early! She just started a new job a few months ago and now this. The surgery follows several radiation treatments. I appreciate your prayers on her behalf.

Me? Going backwards fast. I learned that the leg pain is sciatica and I know the knee is arthritis and weight. I spent 8 hours at the ER last night. I was having shortness of breath and pain. The closest I can describe it is the feeling you get when you eat peanut butter and it gets stuck as you try to swallow. Three EKGs, two shots of morphine and a mega dose of motrin and a CT scan later, they could find nothing wrong. No heart trouble, no heart damage, no blood clots and, oh by the way, the CT scan reveals I have gall stones!

I still feel like crap and worked only a few hours. I came home and went to sleep for a while. It helped, but not enough.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

R-U-JELLEN 7/12/2012 10:17PM

    I had a short (mercifully) bout with sciatica and it is so difficult to deal with. My brother-in-law went to a therapist who gave him some great exercises that helped a lot.
You might have been having a gall bladder attack. My sister has had a couple. The first one she was in so much pain and thought she was having a heart attack.

My prayers are with you and with your friend Christi.

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WONDEROONA 7/3/2012 9:38AM

    Hoping that you and Yvonne can reconcile your differences. It sounds like things are moving in the right direction.
My thoughts are with Christi that the treatment goes well and she can become cancer free soon.
As far as the gall stones go, I had them for years and was being treated for acid reflux after having thousands of dollars of tests. I went to a little old Chinese dr. and he looked at me, asked me a few questions and sent me to a surgeon!! I had it out the next week. I was at the hospital at 6am and home on the couch by 2pm. I went out the next night for New Years Eve even. I didn't do much but sit and bs, but I went out.

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MISSY455 7/3/2012 1:32AM

    How scary last night must have been for you. I hope you are going to see your doctor about the gall stones. Like CMRAND54, my sister had several bouts before she gave in and had the surgery done. She has been fine since.

I wish you luck with Yvonne.
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MOUNTAINS2CLIMB 7/2/2012 11:58PM

    Sorry you aren't feeling well..hope it all gets better soon.

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CARRAND 7/2/2012 8:49PM

    Gallstones could be the cause of your pain and shortness of breath. i had a couple of gall bladder attacks that were among the most painful experiences of my life. Mine felt like someone had put a balloon in my stomach and was blowing it up. Sheer misery. You may want to have your gallstones removed. I had a couple of trips to the ER before i gave in and had my gall bladder removed. The surgery is much simpler now with a quicker recovery time.

I'll being thinking good thoughts your way as you work through your problems with health and your co-workers.


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_LINDA 7/2/2012 8:03PM

    So sorry to hear you are suffering so much :(( Sciatica is the worst and hard to get rid of :( Are they going to do anything about the gall stones?
I hope Christi has been cured and remains cancer free..
All the best with Yvonne, hope she can reconcile.
Thinking healing and soothing thoughts for you..
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I Took a Risk Today

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

After weighing it for a few weeks, I sent Yvonne a card. We have had a couple of training sessions at work that have gone better than I anticipated and I had hopes that they would break the ice, but there is no sign of thaw.

I picked up a card with purple butterflies (blank inside) with a purple envelope and gold hummingbird seal. Were we still friends, I know she would love it! In the card, I said there is a lot I want to say, but that I wanted to say only the two most important things - that I am sorry and never intended to hurt her and that, had I dreamed I would lose her friendship, I never would have started the conversation.

She had emailed me before I even understood how upset she was to let me know that I could talk with her only about work matters. I have respected that for a month, but I felt as if I were in a no-win situation. If I did not reach out and let her know I value her, then it would for certain be the end of any possible healing. By reaching out, I risk further negative response. But, since I mailed a card to her house, she cannot bring our employer into it and, I hope, I have not given her grounds for suit. I did, at the end of the card, state that if she truly does not want to talk with me, I will respect that, but that I felt our relationship being what it was it was worth one attempt.

In other news, layoffs are continuing. I am ok tonight. We shall see.

I am gaining weight and my knee has been so sore that it has been hard to move. Bending me knee is excruciating.

I had an advanced eye test on Saturday and learned that, unlike most people with astigmatism, mine is vertical in my eye. Unfortunately, I also learned that the specialist will want to see me often. I don't like him, but he is covered by my insurance. I'll give him another shot and see if my first visit with him in February was a fluke.

BF is back in town and my eldest cat is pulling her hair out in tufts.

Stress.......Yup. That covers it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEENY_BIKINI 7/2/2012 1:49PM

    Wow. You took a very brave step, gorgeous. I am so proud of you. I hope you have the peace that you seek.


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CARRAND 6/28/2012 11:20AM

    Sounds like you did the right thing with Yvonne. I hope things go well for you.

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_LINDA 6/26/2012 11:30PM

    Unfortunately, stress causes flares -have you been icing it? So sorry your workplace is so unstable they lay people off without a moment's notice and never who you would expect :( Its no surprise your cat is struggling -pets feel their owner's stress acutely.
You have a very noble character wanting to reconcile with a woman who has treated your so poorly on a regular basis and taken advantage of your soft, giving nature..That card sound absolutely wonderful, I sincerely hope its not thrown back in your face. Fingers crossed..
Take care of yourself..
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MISSY455 6/26/2012 10:30PM

    I certainly hope that Yvonne responds favorably to your attempt to reconcile things with her. You have made every gesture possible, I hope it works for you.

The layoff cycle at your company has certainly dragged on. That has to make work extremely stressful for everyone involved. Most companies I have worked for, may do one or two major layoffs then things get back to "normal" fairly quickly. I can't even imagine the stress you are going through.

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Not Much

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Things have been happening lately. I've have come home so tired that I have not had the mental energy to string words together to draft a blog. The training session with Yvonne went better than I thought it would. I thought it broke the ice and we could move forward, but, no. There is zero relationship between us and it hurts. Late this week, I thought to myself, she's just like my mother. Mother chose not to be in my life and it is her loss. Thinking about it like that gave me about half a day's peace. Then I heard her laughing and chatting with someone else after which she walked past me without anything. I just don't understand how it could be that easy to throw away a friendship.

This is impacting me in huge ways. I am not sleeping. I am not eating right. I have no energy and no interest in taking care of myself. Last night I ate a whole pint of ice cream! Holy cow! I can't remember the last time I did something like that.

The other work stuff has been nuts. The request for production is completed, at least the first part. I am mentoring a few students this summer and have not had the time to spend with them because of the production. My boss is also their boss and he knows the situation. These are young students who are acting as if they need more supervision than I can give.

The training schedule for the new system has slipped by three weeks. That means my vacation to see my brother has been truncated and I am very lucky that I get any time at all. At first, I was going to take a week off and visit my brother, nephew and stepmother in New Mexico. The schedule slippage killed that. Then I was told I could leave after work on Thursday and be back on Monday. That would have meant, with travel time, less than 48 hours to visit. Then my boss's boss got involved and I get to leave early on Wednesday afternoon, arrive in ABQ after midnight and have all Thursday, Friday and Saturday with my family! I fly back on Sunday, Aug 12. I can't wait and I am so grateful for this partial week!

My partner comes home this coming Friday. He's been out of town for 8 months. I wanted the day off, but have not heard if I get it or not. My boss was off Friday and will be off most of the next 2 weeks. His boss is off this coming week as is another attorney. A small part of me is jealous that they get to take the time off and I don't get as much as I wanted. My brother and nephew are traveling from Japan -it's not often I get to see them!
In the back of my mind, I anticipate the training schedule will slip and it will turn out that I could have had the entire week off....

Next Saturday, they're doing a CT scan on my eyes. I did not even know they did stuff like that. I can't help but wonder. I am not worried. I expect they'll find out my eyes are fine, just weird...

It is very, very hot here. Praying for rain!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WONDEROONA 6/17/2012 11:53AM

    If you give Yvonne the power to bother you, you are giving her all the power. Take some back!!!!!! Do not let someone else have power over you.

As far as eating a pint of ice cream, forget about it.. You cannot change the past.. Move forward. Put it behind you. One step backward, two steps forward!!!!!

Keep your chin up.

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MISSY455 6/17/2012 2:52AM

    Don't give Yvonne's actions the power to sabotage your healthy choices. You can't control or change someone else's actions, only your own.

One of my favorite sayings is "people come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime." When I have had friendships end, or come to odds with family members, I always try to figure out what that person's role was in my life. Were they there to help me with a particular issue (a reason); a skill or coping mechanism.. to teach me something (a season) and finally a constant touchstone. Someone who no matter what has my back, is concerned about my needs too, and will hold my feet to the fire when needed (lifetime). I try to work on my lifetime relationships, and let the rest go. I hope you can find a way to move past the hurt and start the healing process.

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_LINDA 6/17/2012 1:23AM

    Sorry for your continued woes with Yvonne. You need to let go and heal yourself. She is really not worth the trouble and effort you are putting into it.
That is nice you got to see your brother nephew and stepmother..
A CT oon your eyes? That is a new one on me never heard of that.. I hope all goes well.
Please take care of yourself -you are worth it..
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