JUNEAU2010   162,289
150,000-199,999 SparkPoints
JUNEAU2010's Recent Blog Entries

41 years and 2 years

Tuesday, January 31, 2012

Today is my older brother's birthday. It is his 41st birthday in heaven. He died saving another boy's life. In death, the world saw he was a hero, but he was and is my hero in life. I thought about eating out for dinner, but traffic was too much, so I just came home. I thought about buying some sweets for dessert and walked to the corner store, but did not like anything I saw there. If only I'd stopped there, this would be a celebratory blog. I smashed a banana with chocolate flavored almond butter and spread it on some cinnamon graham crackers. In the background was an emotional story on that show called "Freaky Eaters", I had never seen the show before, but was doing dishes when it came on and did not change the channel when a story similar to mine came on. I cannot blame it on the emotional triggers. I should have changed the channel.

A few days ago was my 2 year anniversary on SparkPeople. I meant to blog, thought about it a few days before, but did not remember the day of. Perhaps it's because I am not pleased with how this journey has gone over the past year. I am not anywhere near my goal weight, not anywhere near making the full lifestyle change I thought would be part of my life by now.

I honestly am not sure I can succeed. That scares me because I know my life and the quality of it is at stake.

This is not fishing for encouragement or compliments or whatever. It is where I am today. I do not even dare fully express my thoughts.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARRAND 2/2/2012 7:56AM

    Remembering your brother must be a sad time for you. You can be strong. You can get where you want to go. You're still here trying. emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROX2013 2/1/2012 10:33PM

    It is hard to see progress when we are looking and expecting perfection. Sometimes you need to sit down and list all theright things you have accomplished and know there are many. I find myself chalking up the not dones instead of the great things we all accomplish each day. So, I go back read some of my old blogs and then realize how much I accomplished. I still have to loss the weight and get back into a exercise routine but I can truly say that I am no longer afraid to start again! I know I can do it! And so can you! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

    So sorry for your loss. I have also lost a brother. 6 years ago. I still feel the pain like it was yesterday. You can do this. Emotionally and physically. You can do this. I'm not gonna sugar coat it for you. You do what you have to do to survive. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again.

Report Inappropriate Comment
WONDEROONA 2/1/2012 8:21AM

    I'm so sorry about the loss of your brother. It must be tough. You know how tough it has been for me with the death of my mother. I gained back everything that I had lost!! We can do this together. One day at a time, one step at a time. C'mon.....we can do this!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIBBYFITZ 2/1/2012 6:57AM

    To have lost a brother in such tragic circumstances is sad. I feel for your loss and heart ache. Think aobut what would he would want you to be doing at this stage in your life?

One day at a time. It is my 2 year Sparkerversary in 2 weeks time and after losing 5 kgs in the first 6 months NOTHING else has come off! I still weigh the same, but I keep plugging along as I don't like the alternative, emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
BYEFATNANNY 2/1/2012 1:43AM

    No shame in being emotional today and yes emotional eating is a problem we all have...as long as you don't resort to excuses like "bad traffic" or simple stuff, hang in there, tomorrow is another day.

Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSY455 2/1/2012 1:15AM

    You are still here, and you are still plugging along. I, like you, haven't made the progress I thought I would this year for many different reasons. As long as we are here, I have to believe, we are trying to get to our goals. As Linda said, just focus on one thing at a time, you can do this. You are worth the effort!

Report Inappropriate Comment
_LINDA 1/31/2012 11:48PM

    So sorry for the sorrow the remembering of this tragic day brings you.
Happy belated emoticon
One thing. Its never too late to start over. Small steps, from the beginning. LOTS of people come crawling back to Sparks after having regained the weight they lost. But you have dared to remain, failure to advance for all to see. That takes some form of guts. Not to go slinking away in misery. So that can only mean there is a Spark within you, waiting to be reignited again. You DO have some wish to make this a permanent change or else you wouldn't be here. Think about it and think about one thing you need to urgently get under control. No more than one thing. Focus all your being on it. Put it on your calender as a daily must. Until you do this one thing, your day is not done. Doesn't matter what it is. Water drinking, 10 fitness minutes, tracking or measuring all your food. Just pick something you know will help and what will make you feel better. You can do this. Your Spark friends will be here as always to cheer you on..
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

Head's Up on New SP Feature (Sharing Blogs)

Sunday, January 15, 2012

The leader of one of my teams emailed me the following:
Some of you may not be aware of a new SP feature recently added before members were advised.

There now is a new share bar added to our blogs that allows other members who "like" them to share them on their Facebook wall. Is this something you want? Many of us discuss personal thoughts, feelings and weight loss information in our blogs on SP that we'd just as soon not share with the Facebook and Twitter world. This new feature is a default setting on our SparkPages, however, it can be turned off.

If you'd like to turn this new feature off,

Go to your SparkPage.
Click on Edit My SparkPage.
Uncheck the "Show share bar on my blog posts" option on the upper right of the page.
Save your changes.

While nothing that we share on the internet is really private (for that reason alone we should be cautious as to what we do say in our blogs) and many of you may not be concerned about this new default setting on SP, this was new info to me and I wanted to pass it on as I only learned about it from a member on another team.

I have a Facebbok account, but I do not share anything about SP on it. I am leery of Facebook's respect for privacy, so I am very careful about how I use it. I DO enjoy being in touch with distant family and friends, but do what I can to minimize chances for anyone attempting to do nefarious things with my information.

This is, of course, a personal decision. Other people may have a different comfort level.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

POORGIRL_DIET 1/17/2012 9:44PM

    For some reason I don't have that button but I know I write allot of personal things on here and I am now a bit panicky as just in case other friends and family members read it on facebook. I am now raging that Sparkpeople have added that to their feature, its just stupid and an evasion of privacy. Thanks for the heads up though

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROX2013 1/16/2012 11:53PM

    Thanks, I am having to learn my way around again. I do not post to Facebook very much, too many people who may have access. I prefer my thoughts and info I share here on sparkpeople to stay here. If it is something I think I want on Facebook I will put it out there.

Report Inappropriate Comment
BYEFATNANNY 1/15/2012 7:53PM

    I have made my Sparkpage private, so not anyone on the internet can read my blogs or see my sparkpage. My old Sparkname was Hemi87 and every "car guy" looking up Hemi car engines could see my pics and read about my weight loss journey....kinda creepy. I don't like people sharing my blogs, albeit few and far between. Thank you for letting us know.

Report Inappropriate Comment
_LINDA 1/15/2012 5:48PM

    I was furious when I saw that button, and was happy when my Spark friends were quick to publish a fix for it. I think it is too much that every site you go on has connections to Twitter, FB, you name it. I like Spark people just as it is and think it is a far better site standing on its own. Thanks for taking the link off your page. Quite a few people have not so far. It actually blocked some words in a person's blog and that was just annoying!!
Hope your Sunday is going well!

Report Inappropriate Comment
CATHEMARIE 1/15/2012 5:38PM


Report Inappropriate Comment
GIANTPANDA 1/15/2012 5:34PM

    I just became aware of that feature today and opted out of it. Like you, I also keep my Facebook and SP pages separate. It did surprise me that I hadn't heard about this feature earlier. Not so long ago, I discovered that some of my blogs were on the Internet, just out there. For that reason, I decided to make my SP page private.

Report Inappropriate Comment
LISA_B68 1/15/2012 5:18PM

    Thanks for the heads up.

Report Inappropriate Comment

Too fat for Special K!

Friday, January 13, 2012

Some of you may have seen that commercial about Special K "lose 6 pounds in 2 weeks". I got an email about it, so, just because I am a curious person, I clicked through to their website, entered my stats and got a message "Sorry, you need to see your doctor. We are unable to help you at this time." Wow!

I was about to say something like "isn't it great that I have already made progress on my journey via SparkPeople because otherwise I would have such a sense of failure." But I can't say that because, as I typed that paragraph, I realized I was eating MORE CARBS!

I am obviously not in a good mental/emotional state! Yikes! I'd laugh except I'd probably start crying!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARRAND 1/24/2012 8:09PM

    You're better off without Special K anyhow. What a joke. I look for cereal that has more grams of fiber than grams of sugar. And I have to get gluten free cereal. My favorite cold cereal has flax in it, is gluten free, and has lots of fiber. My favorite hot cereal is gluten free oatmeal - not the instant variety.

You are such a wonderful person. Don't let a advertising web site get you down.

Report Inappropriate Comment
ROX2013 1/17/2012 12:06AM

    Remember when we first"meant", we always reminded each other that slow and steady wins the race. And remember that it is two steps forward one step back. You are a great,smart and caring person who is by no means a failure! I am right there beside you so lean on me whenever you need to.

I also checked out the Special K idea, what I found out was that it has very very little fiber content!

I have so many other cereals that do boost my fiber intake that I decided I wasn't missing anything by skipping the Special K (and the Chex cereals for the same reason.


Report Inappropriate Comment
LIBBYFITZ 1/14/2012 10:22PM

    emoticonYou are a wonderful caring person, that was not a nice response!

Report Inappropriate Comment
SLOLOSER 1/14/2012 1:44PM

    I'm not impressed with the Special K plan anyway. A bowl of cereal and a piece of fruit for both breakfast and lunch?

It's a short term fix for someone who wants to lose 6 pounds fast. It's not a healthy diet.

Report Inappropriate Comment
1_AMAZING_WOMAN 1/14/2012 8:16AM

    Lose 6 pounds in 2 weeks with Special K?! I guess if you ate (a) portion of the stuff at every meal, and ate nothing else - maybe.


Report Inappropriate Comment
MRE1956 1/14/2012 6:54AM

    Wow! Makes ya almost want to think about "fudging" those stats should you try that again, eh?

Bur seriously, though.....

Not knowing you or your personal health situation, you may *or may NOT* need to seek help - for all I know, you may very well be in touch with good health care folks regularly - but all that having been said.....

That message is very rude, condescending, and even worse, VERY COLD IN TONE! I tell ya, if I did eat SK regularly, I'd throw the stuff out and ban it from the house! Sheesh!

Hang in there!

emoticon - with or without that damned SK!

Report Inappropriate Comment

    How rude of them! We have faith in you emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
_LINDA 1/14/2012 1:37AM

    I don't watch TV, so never saw this ad. That is hard to believe that it would have a message like that. Anyone can start to live a healthy lifestyle at any time and start to lose weight. Although Sparks doesn't recommend losing that much in a week. They obvioulsy don't know what they are talking about.
You are not a failure. You are here. You are NOT giving up! I am right there with you, loading up on bad carbs (salty chips and popcorn are my weakness at the moment) But it can be turned around. When my stash is gone its not coming back. No more temptations.
Lets heal our mind and body together. We CAN come back from the abyss. Its never too late to start again.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

More Stairs!

Monday, January 09, 2012

Not eating on track, but I have been choosing to go up stairs more often. I lost track how many times I went up stairs. I cannot yet walk down the stairs without knee troubles, but being able to walk up stairs is progress.

I did laundry at the laundromat this evening and noticed that carrying the baskets was a lot easier.

Progress in baby steps is still to be celebrated!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TEENY_BIKINI 1/13/2012 6:46PM

    Excellent, excellent work!


Report Inappropriate Comment
STAROFD00M 1/12/2012 4:37PM

    Hurray for baby steps!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
JUSTDANCEGIRL 1/10/2012 11:35AM

    Baby steps all the way! :) Congrats on your victories that you do have. :)

Report Inappropriate Comment
LIBBYFITZ 1/10/2012 7:37AM

    emoticonThat is great that you are adding more stairs to the daily routine! emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment
_LINDA 1/10/2012 1:05AM

    Sounds like you are doing good to me! I am taking it stairs does not bother the heel problem you are having? That is a good thing if you found something that doesn't aggravate that..
I feel the same way about stairs and hills -I enjoy going up them but wish I didn't have to go back down them lol.
Keep up the great work!!

Report Inappropriate Comment
MISSY455 1/9/2012 11:56PM

    Yes it is!!! Take your wins where you can. It all counts!
emoticon emoticon

Report Inappropriate Comment

Up Stairs!

Thursday, January 05, 2012

Today's WWAW meeting gave me some food for thought. Talking about old vs new thinking about food. I shared that I no longer view food as "good" or "bad",
that food is neutral. I have replaced those labels with "healthy" or "better" or "unwise". Subtle difference, but the terms are not so emotionally charged.

Still thinking about some of the other things we discussed. Exercise is still a hurdle for me.

Speaking of which, I can now walk up four flights of stairs without pain. I cannot do the same walking down the stairs. A small improvement, but I will take it!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIBBYFITZ 1/6/2012 7:16AM

    emoticonI loved those word changes about food.

I find I hurt my knees if I go downstairs, much prefer upstairs! 4 flights is great!

Report Inappropriate Comment
_LINDA 1/6/2012 12:38AM

    That is fabulous news Mali! Going up four flights of stairs is huge! Its great cardio! Going down is easier in that you have gravity, but it much harder balance wise and puts more pressure on your knee. If I had my druthers, I would run up the stairs and take the elevator down!!
Great attitude to with the food! That is the way it should be!
Keep up the great work!

Report Inappropriate Comment
RJFERRARO315 1/6/2012 12:29AM

    Sounds like your overcoming some mental & physical hurdles.


Report Inappropriate Comment

First Page  1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26 27 28 29 30 31 32 33 34 35 36 37 38 39 40 41 42 43 44 45 46 47 48 49 50 51 52 53 54 55 56 57 58 59 60 61 62 63 64 65 66 67 68 69 70 71 72 73 74 75 76 77 78 79 80 81 82 83 84 85 86 87 88 89 90 91 92 93 94 95 96 97 98 99 100 101 102 103 104 105 106 107 108 109 110 111 112 113 114 115 116 117 118 119 120 121 122 Last Page