Monday, October 10, 2011
I've been eating too many carbs the last few days. Thursdays is our Weight Watchers at Work meeting and the only reason I mention it is because it is integral to the episode. This is the 3rd cycle of WWAW this year, but the first I decided to join. No one else in the group has nearly as much to lose as I do, not by a LONG shot.
At least 3 ladies have reached goal and 2 others reached maintenance.
I've been really, really, really down about a zillion different things. I don't remember exactly which thing it was last Thursday, but, when I stepped on the scale, the guy logging in the numbers made some comment about how I had gained 5.x something in 2 weeks. He was trying to be sympathetic, but it hit me wrong and I left the meeting without staying for the class.
Later in the day, I sent an email to the leader and spoke honestly about my very diminished interest in continuing this journey. Yes, I want the results, but, no, I don't want to work at it any more. I did not tell her, but to think that, nearly 2 years on the journey, I am almost back up where I started!
Then I went home and had the worst period of mindless eating I have every had in my life. I remember watching a roommate years ago eat like that. Diane died on my 39th birthday when a blood clot broke lose in her leg. She was probably 200 pounds overweight. You would think her sudden passing would have shaken out of this lifestyle. Since Diane's death, I've had several other friends and coworkers die suddenly due to obesity induced health issues. I know I am well along the same path. But I guess the problem is that I do not love myself enough to make the changes! Despite the fact that I want to be around for the next generation in my family. My eldest nieces and nephews will soon marry and have children, the youngest are just starting school and I don't want to miss any more than I already have.
Friday, I tripped at the group picnic and really banged up my left knee and leg. I spent most of the weekend recovering and thinking. I did not come to any great conclusions, but today was better.
I walked over 12K steps, including a 45 minute walk with 2 of the ladies from weight watchers. My lower back was hurting a little, I'll have to bring a change of clothes so that I can do this at the lunch hour and not stink out my cube mates in the afternoon. The important thing is - there will be a next time.
Monday, October 03, 2011
After my blog yesterday, did I execute?! Nah! Moved slowly, got out the door late and added the bill stop to the end of my errands. By the time I finished my errands and the tiny bit of walking that involved, my heel was screaming at me.
I can hardly move today! I also have not picked up the weights. A cold wet rain front came in and I stiffened up unbelievably! The other half of the story was I did not want to move!
I had a bad sinus headache this morning that worsened with the gas leak at work and stayed with me all day. I visited the tiny gym at work and got on the elliptical for an embarrassingly poor 72 seconds. It felt good, but my heel was screaming. I did get my heart rate up and that post-exercise relaxed state helped me get through a nearly hourlong commute home. I live 7 miles from work, so that ought to indicate how awful it was!
Going to bed early with ibuprofen!
Sunday, October 02, 2011
I have become increasingly sporadic in blogging. That reflects on the sort of spectator position I have taken with my SP journey. Of course, that means I have not met any of my weightloss or conditioning goals.
Yes, I want the tonnage to be gone but, no, I don't want to exert the energy to make it happen. The lack of energy is partly due to an ongoing depression of a general nature.
Rather than continuing to wallow and waste time, I am going to "act as if until I am". I am going to act as if I care about my body. Today I am going to walk to the hardware store and pay my bill instead of driving.
One thing about SP that I don't like is that you can't save exercises (the emails with the how-to and pictures), but I am going to commit to learning one new exercise a day. That's very elementary, but it's a start.
Today's was in today's email: Seated Rows with Dumbbell
I'm also going to prep my food for the week.
My incentive for October: the new SparkPeople cookbook. If I am consistent about my food and this exercise plan, then I will get it. If not, I won't.
I intend to blog every day about the exercise portion. Please hold me accountable!
Sunday, September 04, 2011
My A-Z list
A. Age: Qualified for AARP membership- 'nuff said!
B. Bed size: Queen, not big enough for partner, tiny cat who thinks the bed is her throne and me!
C. Chore you dislike: Pick one - the word chore does imply something you have to do that maybe isn't on your list of things you want to do: for me, ALL of them!
D. Dogs: None, except my my heart. My dad had a Norwegian Elkhound that I loved. My stepmother has a Great Pyrenees that is just a big love!
E. Essential start to your day: a good cup of coffee. I really like African coffees -
Ethiopian Harrar, Tanzania Peaberry...
F. Favorite color: What? I have to choose? I love the whole rainbow!
G. Gold or silver: most of my jewelery has both.
H. Height: 4'10
I. Instruments you play(ed): Piano, organ, harpsichord, guitar, autoharp, recorder
J. Job title: Paralegal, Contract Analyst, Legal Services Support
K. Kids: None unless you count my two cats!
L. Live: San Francisco Bay Area, mid Peninsula
M. Mom's name: Holly, Stepmother #1 Suzanne, Stepmother #2 Sharon, Adopted Mom Dorothy
N. Nicknames: Partner calls me Little Bunny or Bunny
O. Overnight hospital stays: I was a preemie, so I stayed in the hospital over 3 months at birth, about a month when I was 14 with my first orthopedic surgery, probably a total of 10 days over the 5 surgeries on my shattered elbow. Possible bone spur surgery this year...
P. Pet peeves: Too many to enumerate!
Q. Quote from a movie: "What would you have me do? Give Out? Give Up? Give In?" - Eleanor of Aquitaine (Katharine Hepburn), Lion in Winter. Speaking to King Henry the 8th (Peter O'Toole)
R. Righty or Lefty: Righty
S. Siblings: no full now- my oldest brother died when I was 14. I was the middle second child of that marriage and became the only. Both parents remarried, so I have four half sisters from Mother's 2nd marriage and my brother and another sister from dad's second marriage. Unfortunately, I am in touch only with the two from Dad's side (the door is open to the other four, but they've not chosen to have me in their lives).
T. Time you wake up: Usually 5
U. Underwear: functional
V. Vegetables you don't like: Southern: black-eyed peas, okra, greens. My first experience with southern food was the college cafeteria in Arkansas - probably not the best intro!
W. What makes you run late: Nothing if I can help it - being tardy is a huge pet peeve of mine. My dad was in the Army and he didn't tolerate being late when I was growing up.
X. X-rays you've had: far too may to count. I am surprised I don't glow in the dark!
Y. Yummy food you make: BF makes most of our meals. When I cook, it's pretty basic but healthy and cheap food.
Z. Zoo animal favorites: Love the zoo! My favorites are big cats, koalas, meerkats
What's your A-Z List?
Sunday, July 24, 2011
I have not stepped on the scale for a while. I feel huge. I have been eating within range, more or less. But I have not been exercising. I went to the doctor Monday for the chronic heel pain and got some heel cups and gel insoles. The cups helped for a few days and the heel pain disappeared, but the high arch pain began. For the last two days, I have hardly been able to walk when I got up in the morning.
This week, I am covering for Yvonne at work. Her dad's funeral is Thursday and I said I would try to go, not realizing it will be quite a drive and would represent a big chunk out of the day. I am a nervous nellie when it comes to driving in unfamiliar areas. Why did I say I would try to go? It feels like something I should do. I also feel guilty for not visiting him at the VA hospital in Livermore, for not sending a get well card to him or a "thinking of you" card to her or her mom...the list is long.
I have been thinking of my SP journey, knowing I need to step it up literally and figuratively, but have not found the Spark to do so.
Then, tonight, I learn my dad's widow had a significant heart attack last week. Sharon's a sweetheart and we have a good relationship, if a bit distant. The distance is my fault. I get caught up in my day-to-day life and am not in touch with distant family and friends as I wish I were.
I'm still adjusting to the perimenopause situation on top of everything else!
Thanks for your prayers for Yvonne and her mom. Add to that request prayers for Sharon and the rest of my Indiana/Kentucky family...
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