JUNEAU2010   160,241
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JUNEAU2010's Recent Blog Entries

Goal Met! I Get It!

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

This morning, I optimistically set my status with the announcement that I planned to do 10,500 steps. When I left work this evening, I had 7,167 with an errand to do on the way home. I parked a good distance away from the pet food store, as I always do, and walked to the store. Hmmm. That was only about 800 steps from car to doorstop. I need more than that, I thought. As I paid for my purchase, I decided to walk the perimeter of the shopping center. I walked away from the store, down the side of the Costco store, all the way around the edge of the parking lot, past McDonalds and Krispy Kreme (I did not stop!).

I sure thought about it. I told myself, "I don't want to pay the consequences for giving in to having a doughnut right now. Part of the reason I need the exercise is that I am paying the consequences for past indulgences." The temptation passed when I thought about it like that.

Back at the car. Pedometer said I still was short about 1200 steps. I walked back to the pet store and back around Costco and then back to my car. I did it!
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Wow! Do you know, one of the things I thought about was writing this blog. When it was something over 8,000 steps, I almost stopped. That's more than I usually do, I started to think. But - did I want to write another one of those "almost" blogs? I almost walked___but I was tired/my leg was sore/it was late/I was tired (fill in any excuse).

Not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, but, I like the way this feels! I am smiling! I feel positive! I feel capable! My goal weight achievement is possible! All day long, as I walked, I felt thinner, I felt taller, I felt good. Even with the sore tendon! Victory!

How sweet!

I finally "get" one of the cornerstones of SparkPeople! And, yes, please remind me of this the next time I dare to post another "almost" blog!

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10,616!

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WINTERGRRL 7/20/2011 11:03PM

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CHRYS13 7/16/2011 6:32PM

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WONDEROONA 7/16/2011 10:01AM

    WAY TO GO!!!! You can do this. You are working hard and you deserve the rewards of a healthy lifestyle!!

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CARRAND 7/13/2011 10:10PM

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MALPAIT2 7/13/2011 10:51AM

    Great job!! You did it, what a great inspiration!

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KAKIPOPUP 7/13/2011 6:21AM

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LIBBYFITZ 7/13/2011 3:17AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticonSo proud of you emoticon

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_LINDA 7/13/2011 12:45AM

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Way to stick with it! It is hard to take another step when you feel tired, sore, etc., but in the end it will pay off! 10,000 steps is nothing to sneeze at, its GREAT!!
Spark on!!
Maybe choose a nicer place to walk next time, like a park, with soft earth trails, as its easier on the joints then walking on pavement! I know I can go a lot farther with a lot less pain on earth or grass trails then cement!!

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MYSTERY4EVER 7/12/2011 11:05PM

    Way to go! You got the Spark today! You are back on track. Keep up the good work.

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LOVESTYPOS 7/12/2011 10:36PM

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TRENTDREAMER 7/12/2011 10:10PM

    :D good job sticking with it.

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JAKEANDNELLIE 7/12/2011 10:03PM

    emoticonI am so proud of you!
What an inspiring blog!
Sheila

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Today Was a Better Day

Monday, July 11, 2011

If I have one more snack, depending on what it is, I will end the day within range in just about everything. Currently a smidge low in calories and fat with room to play in others...Hmmm.

I got in an hour's worth of walking today, though not all at once. My heel is sore, but not very, so I am happy about that!

Yesterday, I dropped a ton of $ at GNC getting some supplements that may help me deal with the sudden appearance of menopause. I know it's not supposed to be sudden, but, in my case, it really has been. Today was the first full day with some of those supplements and it was a much better day. Minimal flash. Concentration still a problem. But energy was better. I was less depressed and I felt more optimistic.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARRAND 7/12/2011 6:56PM

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LIBBYFITZ 7/12/2011 2:30PM

    Sorry to hear about the hot flashes. There are other things that can cause hot flashes. So make sure you get checked out . emoticon

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_LINDA 7/12/2011 12:09AM

    I certainly hope you do get some benefit out of them. Good for you keeping in calorie range and getting some exercise in! A higher dose of Vit C might help perk you up mentally, its supposed to help counter stress.. My Dr. recommended it during my final exams..
I hope you feel better soon..
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Don't Ask What's Next!

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Last week, I started overeating carbs in response to an emotional stress event. I knew what I was doing, but I also knew I could not face another handful of carrots! The stress is in relationship and money, so they are stressors that will not go away nor be solved easily.

On top of that, I had my first hot flash on July 4th. I have been having night sweats for a few weeks, but did not really believe that's what was happening until the flashes started. I have been diong a lot of reading and, surprise, my brain fog is also a symptom. The brain fog coupled with the energy drain is the scariest part of all this. I am terrified that the drop off could result in a loss of employment.

I cannot get in to see my doc until middle of August, so I think I will go to urgent care and wait and wait and wait. It will be worth it just to be seen. I will, of course, explain that I know it's not an emergency, but that I can't get in through normal channels. I will also see if I can get my tendon looked at. I did some reading on that and know it's possible that there are some tears. That might explain why the usual RICE is not working...

I am frustrated at the weight gain and the lack of weight loss. Knowing that there are reasons for it, including my bingeing and lack of real exercise, does not ease the feeling.

I bought some nutrition supplements after doing some reading. We'll see if that helps...

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARRAND 7/11/2011 9:41PM

    I was lucky enough to have very few hot flashes and no night sweats at all. I hope things get better for you soon.

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WONDEROONA 7/11/2011 5:34PM

    Woman, you sound like me. You are getting down on yourself and you always yell (lovingly, of course) at me when I do that. So, it's my turn. Look at things from a different perspective. Look for the sunshine in the rain and you may find a rainbow. I hope things get better for you.

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MICHCLEARY 7/11/2011 9:30AM

    Sorry you are having some issues. I hope you get seen and get some good information. My best friend is going through the hot flashes thing. She keeps a fan in her office to help. She has been able to lose weight through that whole process but I know she has had a few carb binges as well.

Can you exercise in a pool and get the weight off you knee? That would allow some movement without the pressure. Maintaining your diet is key right now. I've been in recovery for 8 weeks now post shoulder surgery and have been able to maintain all but 3 lbs weight loss and I couldn't exercise much. All i could do was walk and most of that wasn't very fast.

Do what you can and don't beat yourself up over the rest. Sometimes we are at our best, and other times we are at a weak point but through it all we must continue on so that we can reach our goal.

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_LINDA 7/11/2011 2:19AM

    So sorry your nagging injury won't go away :(( It is time to seek professional help. I hope the supplements you have purchased do something for you, but don't hold your breath. Nothing beats having proper nutrition and eating the right foods. If you keep eating the same veggies and fruits over and over of course you are going to get good and sick of them. What you really need to do is branch out and try new things. You can be sure Spark Recipes has a recipe for just about every veggie out of there helping to make new things taste way better. I used to eat carrots by the train load too. But now I can eat diakon for a little spice in my life, but not rude like a radish, and jicama, green beans and yellow wax beans when in season. Parsnips are my new favorite root vegetable, oh so sweet and have such a nice smell when you are cutting them up to cook! My Mom can't get over the things I am eating now compared to my old standards broccoli, carrots and cauliflower and nothing else lol.
One thing you must cut out of your diet is all caffeine and sweets, as those are huge hot flash triggers. Lesson my Mom learned the hard way although she is unable to give up her coffee, but just has two cups a day in the morning.
I wish you luck getting medical help promptly,
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Bestefar and Musings

Wednesday, July 06, 2011

Bestefar is the Norwegian word for grandfather. Today was my Bestefar's birthday. Were he still living he would be 105! There is a pciture of me in a bassinet with his arm in the picture. (I am named after both of his daughters, my aunts). I met him only once that I recall. I visited him during spring break during my sophomore year of college. By then, he was forgetting his English and I did not know enough Norwegian to communicate. We managed, though. I have a picture of him playing his accordion. I spent less than a week with him, but it was magical! I have lifetime memories, but I wish I had more!

He emigrated from Norway in the 1920s - not the best time to arrive here. He was a physical engineer and worked in shipyards during WWII, calculating the circumference of the smoke stacks for maximum fuel efficiency. That's as technical as I can get. No one would play dominoes with him because, in his marvelous mind, he could know what was in your hand within about 3 plays. His IQ was off the scale.

I wish he had taught Norwegian to his children, my aunts and father. But he did not. "We are Americans!" he said. So they grew up not knowing much about their heritage and their children (my generation) know even less.

I wish I had known him, really known him. I wish that many terrible things had not happened...But it is a combination of the good and bad that make me who I am. Deeply flawed with a strange relationship to food and to my body that SP is helping me put right, A person with enough emptiness that I can feel compassion when someone else hurts.

Regrets? I have plenty. I wish I had taken some good advice when I was younger. My life would be very different and much better.

Hope? Optimism? Drive? Determination? Stubbornness? Check. I have all that. I have within me and around me what I need to succeed. I also have the power of choice to make it so.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYSTERY4EVER 7/9/2011 8:49PM

    My mother's family had the same attitude about German - it was never spoken at home - even by those who had been born in Germany. They were Americans.

I try not to look back at the "what ifs". Even if we had made different choices, other things could have happened. We are who we are and we need to look forward.

You have made progress and you can make more.

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CARRAND 7/8/2011 8:00PM

    Your grandfather sounds like a very special person. You are lucky to have those memories.

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JAKEANDNELLIE 7/8/2011 9:22AM

    I have often thought how different my life could have been if I had chosen other paths when younger. I agree with you in that we have become the people we are today due to those earlier experiences, both good and bad. We both need to learn to concentrate on and celebrate our good qualities instead of dwelling on the "what ifs."
Stay positive, my friend. This is not only a long journey - but is a slow one with a lot of learning about ourselves involved.
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ISHIIGIRL 7/7/2011 3:00PM

    Great blog Juneau. Looking back on our past mistakes only helps us to realize the lessons learned so we can move forward. You have made some mistakes but you have learned from those and are moving forward of your own accord. You will get there. You have patience and perseverence. Paige

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_LINDA 7/7/2011 1:45AM

    My father spoke German and wanted to teach us kids it, but my Mom forbid it because of their serious marital split. She spoke Cree but did not teach us either, not that she had any time working three jobs as a defacto single parent trying to raise three kids by herself. It would have been nice to have both languages. On the other hand, there are those who come to this country and do not embrace its language or customs, like my uncle, who is proudly German as a Canadian. He only listens and watches to German music and TV, associates only with his fellow Germans, and still asks how you say things in English in spite of living in this country for 60 years and having been in Germany only until he was 16, escaping from the aftermath of war. Its great to be proud of the country you came from, but honestly, Canada gave him his living and is now supporting his disability!! When he goes back to Germany for visits, he speaks German like a native lol, But my father, who got into Seventh Day Adventist beliefs associated with nothing but English speakers because of it and is losing his German.. But I do agree with your grandfather if you are going to live in another country, you had best be open to adopting its customs and practices, and at the very least, learn the language.. But you can still enjoy your own customs and beliefs as you have the freedom of choice to do so.
I never had the pleasure of knowing either of my grandfathers, who died long before I was even born. My father's mom also died before I had the chance to meet her, so I have only ever know one grand parent..
But its no point dealing with the past and regret over would haves and should haves. The only important thing is the here and now. Your present and future is all that you should focus on and be concerned with. You can't change your upbringing. But you have total control over what you are doing for yourself today. So get out there and strive to be all that you can be. You are important too.
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Beetle on my Mind and Discouragement

Tuesday, July 05, 2011

This morning, just outside the front lobby at work, I saw a critter on the ground. I squinted and realized, yes, I did see it right. It was upside down and stuck. One person watched and another took a cellphone photo as I turned it over with a stick. It was a very large brown beetle and obviously had a couple of injured legs. I helped it to the grass. I figured one of three things would happen: it would die and become compost, it would become food or it would recover. For some reason, I could not stop thinking about the poor thing. I did not feel particularly virtuous in a karma sort of way, but it felt right. Better than it dying under a shoe or dehydrating in the heat of the day.

There's a Weight Watchers at Work program at work. I didn't join. I can't afford it and the meetings overlap with my Toastmaster meeting. Several of the members work near me so I have the unenviable delight of hearing them "Monday morning quarterback" their weekends. I wish I understood why this makes my hackles raise. I wince when I hear them talking about "cheating" or eating "bad" food. Yet, I am also jealous of their success! I get thinking, "I'll show them!" and still I flounder. Today, it was more of the same only more so. I could not get away because I was trying to finish a time-critical transaction. I felt like crying.

A lunch date got cancelled. I had not brought lunch, which I usually do. I went to the cafe and had watermelon gazpacho and a wonderful salad. Instead of dressing, I used low fat cottage cheese. (For breakfast, I used Yoplait slim 50 yogurt instead of milk.) I took a short walk around the campus, and, yes, the tendon was sore, but it felt good to walk up and down the hills.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

WONDEROONA 7/9/2011 11:47AM

    Just think of how good you'll feel once you get this tendonitis under control and can show them that SP is better than WW. You can do this. I will help you!! I will not let you fail!!

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CARRAND 7/6/2011 8:16PM

    I've never done Weight Watchers. I just love the feedback I get from Spark People. It sounds like you did a really good job with the lunch. It's so hard to stay on track when plans change, but you did it!

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MYSTERY4EVER 7/6/2011 4:18PM

    Think about what Weight Watchers gives you - support and a weekly weigh-in. You can get all that here on SparkPeople for free. The tendon will heal and you will get back to your walking. You can do this, you have done so well in the past.

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SHERRYJVP 7/6/2011 8:48AM

    I really can understand feeling like WW would help you and you can't afford to join. I want to join the Y so bad and hubby thinks we can't handle it. SP has really helped keep me motivated anyway...and free is always good. LOL. I am a lifetime member of WW and think it is a fabulour program. The personal contact is great and having a person weigh you in and remain objective is great...but you CAN do this. The advantages to SP is that it is 24/7, free and a lot more 1 on 1.
Hang in there, friend.

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