Friday, July 22, 2011
Yesterday, Yvonne got me to cover her desk by saying she was working on a Quality Assurance project (QA take precedenceover everything). She said it would be for a couple of hours and she would call when she was ready to take over. The day was nearly done before she called to say a) she had not even started the QA project, b) she was "putting out fires" and c) she had attended the two hour training class I had skipped because I was covering her desk! Whatever the fires were, I have no idea because her desk, which involves customer money transactions is supposed to take precedence over everything except this QA emergency.
I was pretty steamed about this and felt very much taken for granted, especially since she did not follow protocol and go through my boss. He is on business travel this week, but in touch electronically.
It was this yesterday plus some car trouble on my mind when I got to work this morning. I was moving slowly because of the foot issues (the heel cups worked, but my foot now hurts in a different spot and I could hardly walk this morning.)
Yvonne's father died last night, according to the email from her boss. It was taken for granted by everyone that I would cover her desk. No word yet on whether that is for all of next week or only part. Don't misunderstand me. My heart is broken for Yvonne and her mom. I met her parents and liked them very much. It was hard to concentrate today because I was thinking of her.
Amazingly, I got everyone done on her desk and a couple of tasks on mine. My car started this evening! So maybe I don't have to replace the battery yet!
Victory - I did not eat mindlessly in response to stress and conflicting emotions. I feel badly for resenting Yvonne's actions yesterday in light of her loss. Dad died about 3 this morning, so it was well after whatever she was dealing with at work yesterday morning. I felt guilty for thinking the way I did, for not visiting her dad at the VA hospital last month and a million other things. But I did not bandaid those feelings with food!
I read that Greenpath is one of the federally approved debt management companies. I am considering doing something along those lines to help me handle the financial stress and burden. The possibility of a huge repair bill or car replacement looming may make it impossible...
Yvonne does not believe in God, per se, nor do I know her parents' religious leaning, if any. However, this is the first time she has ever dealt with death. She is an only child and her relationship with her dad was "complicated", so I know she could use prayers. Her mom is in the beginning stages of Parkinsons and Alzheimers, so she needs prayers, too.
And I probably need prayers for a better attitude!
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
This morning, I optimistically set my status with the announcement that I planned to do 10,500 steps. When I left work this evening, I had 7,167 with an errand to do on the way home. I parked a good distance away from the pet food store, as I always do, and walked to the store. Hmmm. That was only about 800 steps from car to doorstop. I need more than that, I thought. As I paid for my purchase, I decided to walk the perimeter of the shopping center. I walked away from the store, down the side of the Costco store, all the way around the edge of the parking lot, past McDonalds and Krispy Kreme (I did not stop!).
I sure thought about it. I told myself, "I don't want to pay the consequences for giving in to having a doughnut right now. Part of the reason I need the exercise is that I am paying the consequences for past indulgences." The temptation passed when I thought about it like that.
Back at the car. Pedometer said I still was short about 1200 steps. I walked back to the pet store and back around Costco and then back to my car. I did it!
Wow! Do you know, one of the things I thought about was writing this blog. When it was something over 8,000 steps, I almost stopped. That's more than I usually do, I started to think. But - did I want to write another one of those "almost" blogs? I almost walked___but I was tired/my leg was sore/it was late/I was tired (fill in any excuse).
Not a huge deal in the grand scheme of things, but, I like the way this feels! I am smiling! I feel positive! I feel capable! My goal weight achievement is possible! All day long, as I walked, I felt thinner, I felt taller, I felt good. Even with the sore tendon! Victory!
I finally "get" one of the cornerstones of SparkPeople! And, yes, please remind me of this the next time I dare to post another "almost" blog!
Monday, July 11, 2011
If I have one more snack, depending on what it is, I will end the day within range in just about everything. Currently a smidge low in calories and fat with room to play in others...Hmmm.
I got in an hour's worth of walking today, though not all at once. My heel is sore, but not very, so I am happy about that!
Yesterday, I dropped a ton of $ at GNC getting some supplements that may help me deal with the sudden appearance of menopause. I know it's not supposed to be sudden, but, in my case, it really has been. Today was the first full day with some of those supplements and it was a much better day. Minimal flash. Concentration still a problem. But energy was better. I was less depressed and I felt more optimistic.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
Last week, I started overeating carbs in response to an emotional stress event. I knew what I was doing, but I also knew I could not face another handful of carrots! The stress is in relationship and money, so they are stressors that will not go away nor be solved easily.
On top of that, I had my first hot flash on July 4th. I have been having night sweats for a few weeks, but did not really believe that's what was happening until the flashes started. I have been diong a lot of reading and, surprise, my brain fog is also a symptom. The brain fog coupled with the energy drain is the scariest part of all this. I am terrified that the drop off could result in a loss of employment.
I cannot get in to see my doc until middle of August, so I think I will go to urgent care and wait and wait and wait. It will be worth it just to be seen. I will, of course, explain that I know it's not an emergency, but that I can't get in through normal channels. I will also see if I can get my tendon looked at. I did some reading on that and know it's possible that there are some tears. That might explain why the usual RICE is not working...
I am frustrated at the weight gain and the lack of weight loss. Knowing that there are reasons for it, including my bingeing and lack of real exercise, does not ease the feeling.
I bought some nutrition supplements after doing some reading. We'll see if that helps...
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