Sunday, May 15, 2011
One of my SparkFriends had a statement on her home page: No longer foodís b***ch. I winced at the implied word, but I thought I understood the sentiment. Now I know I do. For the past month, I have been inconsistent with exercise and have been eating without caring about the consequences. That changes today. I am taking charge and not going to fall prey to the siren call of the carbs or the seduction of the couch!
A few weeks ago, I bought the KettleWorx DVD set on eBay for less than 50% of the retail price. This morning I loaded up the intro DVD. I immediately got some new warm up exercises! The workouts are 20 minutes each, but it will be a while before I can do that much. I did about 5 minutes this morning and really feel it! It was a great combo of strength training and cardio. I feel great! I am a little sore, but I have that new-to-me exhilarating feeling that this is something I can do!
Itís supposed to be a six-week body makeover, but I have no illusions that I am going to get from point A to point Z in that short period of time. It may take 12, it may take 18, it may take 52. I donít care. I will, however, pull out the tape measure (Iíve already stepped on the scale) and track that just so I know my starting point. I will check again in six weeks just for fun! I am not going to rely on the scale or tape measure numbers to define success. Success will be measured by how my clothes feel, the increased strength, fluidity of movement and overall general sense of well-being.
A special shout out to my Spark Family (you know who you are). Your encouragement and your own stories have kept me from writing myself off. JAKEANDNELLIE has rediscovered her Spark, MICHCLEARYís blogs brim with optimism, CHAOTIC-KITTY seems to be doing some of the same things Iíve been doing, but she is still blazing the trail ahead. TEENIE BIKINI challenges me to think about my entire relationship with food, my body, exercise and how those scripts need to be rewritten. My childhood was decades ago and it is past time to break free of those learned bad attitudes. There are many others who have consistently checked in on me and kept me at least nominally plugged in even while I was dragging my heels and (not) moving with an ďI donít wannaĒ attitude.
I started with the abbreviated workout this morning. Now itís on to a carefully thought out first meal followed by some water. Then, on to the chores of the day and preparation for the week. The end of the day will see a day of measured and recorded wise food choices, full water and more exercise.
Thank you, Spark Friends!
Monday, May 09, 2011
At the beginning of the month, I got a first - a trophy from SP for trivia! Sometimes, I would see a question I'd never seen before or could not remember the answer for and would back out and return later to see a different question. I still managed to click the wrong answer a few times when I knew the right one...Karma, I suppose...LOL
I have not been consistently tracking my food or exercising. I have far less interest in my journey than I did before. This starts a negative spiral - I get angry at me, I hate my situation and the spiral continues.
There are many areas in my life that I need to change. Yes, I know. Start small etc. The pool is open where I live, I have a new suit, I should be swimming! I should also be using my Kettlebell, getting on the elliptical, etc.
Today, I ran into a coworker of mine who was talking to a retired former coworker. The retired person barely acknowledged me and was effusive in her praise to Linda for her weight loss. I felt completely invisible. It was awkward.
I felt invisible and unappreciated last week. I went to the charter party for the Toastmaster club I have been mentoring and was the only mentor who came. With the District Governor on hand, there was no acknowledgement of my time and energy on behalf of this club. If the other mentors had been there, there would have been. Most of the members are women and these two mentors are male, so they get tons of attention. No, I am not imagining it.
A couple of weeks ago, I represented the Legal Department at the Bring Your Child to Work Day event and felt completely unable to reach the children. Granted, legal is not as exciting as solar power, robots and electric vehicles, but....
I feel very flawed. I feel huge. I feel powerless. I am scared and feel paralyzed by fear.
To top it all off, a flare-up of tendonitis on the Achilles tendon that is so sensitive...
Monday, May 02, 2011
This morning, Pope John Paul II was beatified. This evening, President Obama announced that Osama bin Laden was killed by US forces. And today is Law Day, a day that attorneys and others observe. This year, the focus was around the legacy of President John Adams.
I am not Catholic, I am not even particularly religious, though I am spiritual. The last few times I have been in a church were for funerals. But I admired this Pope very much!
The night that the "shock and awe" campaign began was within 24 hours of my birthday and it was the last birthday I celebrated with my dad. He was dozing on the couch in an aftermath of a chemo treatment. I did not know then that he would be dead in less than a year. I watched the campaign unfolding on TV hardly able to breathe, just willing peace.
Tonight, as I watch the crowds celebrating in Times Square and Lafayette Park, my heart is choked with tears. Tears for the thousands of lives lost in the nearly ten years since 09/11/2001, for those who lost loved ones on that dark day, tears of gratitude that no US service personnel were killed in today's action in Pakistan. I cannot celebrate at any man's death, but...Were it not for this man, I would not need to some day pay a visit to a particular site at Arlington Cemetary. Rest in Peace, Frankie Toner IV! My heart hurts for your family anew.
I should have gone to bed hours ago, but I'm not sure I can sleep!
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
I have not been tracking my food and I have been eating far too much. I have not yet reconciled to the consequences that I know are due. I am floundering in all areas of my life, exercise, work, drinking water, eating right, making good choices. Nothing is going right and, despite the power of decision, I seem powerless to change direction. It has been more than 3 weeks since I blogged. That should be illustrative of my funk.
One of my teams had a challenge to blog today and I did not want to. But I have to be honest to my Spark Family and to myself. One way to turn things around is to start doing what I know to be right.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
This afternoon, I felt my energy draining, so I took a break and did something I've never done on a break - I hopped on the elliptical for a few minutes. It did give me the energy to get through the afternoon. On the downside, I was STARVING at dinner and overate big time.
Balance in all things is still a problem!
Get An Email Alert Each Time JUNEAU2010 Posts