Saturday, April 02, 2011
Hitting the Reset Button
This is the blog I tried to write last night. It kept disappearing. When it disappeared while trying to do a cut n paste, I gave up!
I’ve been floundering for a while. When I was on vacation, I discarded good eating, water drinking and exercise even though I had good intentions. That was proof positive that SparkPeople’s statement that being around people who _______ make it more likely you will do the same. I was sick on that trip. It seems as if I have been sick most of this year. Nothing serious, just nagging and continual crappiness. I’ve used most of my sick time for the year already!
Then there’s work. Don’t get me wrong. Glad to have it, but I am in a state of constant overload. I have a new boss, but I still support my old one and management has yet to decide how much of what I used to do can be skipped. I still have more than 40 hours a week worth of work to do for him! AND I am supposed to work with the new IP Paralegal, training her on the how-tos of the company in exchange for learning about patents. On top of that, the company had to respond to a subpoena (we are not a party to the action) and I got the opportunity to work on that. That is really fun and interesting work, but it completely consumes everything. My VP knows that changes need to be made but wants to wait until my former boss’ group is more fully staffed. My current boss said that he thinks the company wants to burn me out!
It just about goes without saying that money pressures are unrelenting. I am considering making changes in my personal life with respect to my BF. We’ve been together off and on since September 1989. As I made progress in my SP journey, I began to look at other areas of my life and realize that wholesale change might need to happen. I am not ready to make those changes yet, but I feel the time coming!
I have read blogs where SparkFriends set up goals and posted them. When I started SP, it was almost as if I were immersed in a new culture with a new language – it was so overwhelming that I did not really set short and medium goals.
Now seems to be a good time to do that. As I was driving home last night, a thought dropped in my head. I want a new or newer car, but that desire is a want and not a need. That sort of took the pressure off. There are much smaller wants, too. The San Francisco Giants won the World Series last year and I have yet to augment my pin collection to commemorate the event. I can set some short time and achievable goals and chip away at those small wants as I “earn” them.
Real Exercise (strength and cardio)
I had no trouble with water once I got up to 8 glasses of water a day and am very surprised that I am starting over again. I think I will start today with 5 as my goal, 6 tomorrow and so on.
Eating within range has generally been achievable, but there have always been areas where I am both too high and too low (usually too high in carbs, too low in calcium, for example). I will focus on staying within calorie range for the first week and go on from there.
Exercise has always been my biggest challenge. I was stunned to discover recently that I have been doing things “wrong” for my entire SparkPeople journey. I read an article that said something about how SP already figures you’re going to walk about doing chores, etc. I had been counting that because it represented more movement than I had been doing before SP. That means most of my exercise minutes are fraudulent! It also explains why I have been losing weight so slowly and confirms my suspicion that I need to do more. I need to do a LOT more! But I don’t know if I can! This has thrown me back into my whole lifelong aversion to exercise. What if I can’t sustain it? What if it hurts? What if I don’t like it? What if I fail?
On the other hand, failure is still not an option. Doing nothing differently means I would very soon “suddenly” find I had regained the weight I have lost and then some. My reasons for wanting to change my life are large and abstract and yet real. I must do this to save my life, to improve my life and to make the rest of my life worth living.
For exercise, I am going to start very small. I will do 10 minutes of cardio 5 days a week and will do the same amount of strength training. As I succeed, I will add more. On the weekends, cardio will be brisk walking (not the turtle walking I have done!) and, during the week, use the elliptical, treadmill and exercise bikes at work – assuming they are not in use!
So, this first week: within calorie range every day, 5-8 glasses of water every day, follow through on my exercise commitment for cardio and strength training. My reward: add one to my pin collection! Then, I can do that each week for the next four weeks. If I string those together for a month of consecutive success, then I will get the DVD of the series.
As one of my SparkFriends says in her blogs “move, lift, repeat”.