Sunday, March 07, 2010
Saturday, my favorite boss found me on Facebook. The last time I saw him was late summer 1986, but he had a huge impact on my life. I was floored to be reconnected with him!
In the midst of that euphoria, I found out that my "adopted mom" is in the hospital having suffered a light stroke. She's in Missouri and I'm in California. Her daughters are with her. I am praying for her recovery and that I don't have to buy something black and an airline ticket.
The scale surprised me this morning. Down 2/10ths. At this rate, my pledge of 30 pounds by the end of June is a real challenge! I am just a tad discouraged. But, what this tells me is that I cannot slack off on measuring (eyeballing won't do) and I'm going to have to exercise through the pain. The water has not been a problem, which is a bit of a surprise. Along with the micro weight loss, I lost inches in some places, gained girth in other spots, so it was a strange accounting. The net difference is just a hair under 2 inches lost.
I broke down and bought a new pedometer as an early birthday present. It seems too sensitive, so I don't trust the step count. The day was slightly overcast, but it was a great day for the Baylands walk. We walked a different path and I was unable to get a lot of speed up because of the terrain. What I did notice was that, if I were not losing weight and exercising, I would have fallen several times. My balance is improving. Trying to keep my balance on that trail gave me plenty of a work out! It's kind of hard to explain, but I felt all of the muscles working to keep me upright, my heart rate was up and it felt like a good workout...I look forward to looking back at this blog soon and laughing at thinking that this is a good workout. To do that, I need to move my exercise bar a long way down the road. Today's walk was over a mile.
Tomorrow at work, I'll have the stairs and hills and the campus at school tomorrow night. I should be able to get lots of walking in! I can't imagine that I am looking forward to that! ME! Thanks, SparkPeople! You're helping me change my life!
Saturday, March 06, 2010
Usually I post my blog midday or in the evening. It's morning and all I've had so far is the required first cup of coffee (a Rwandan bean). The past few weeks, I have walked more, I've used the stairs and, on occasion, flirted with free weights and exercises such as pushups and bridges. The only thing, besides walking, that I am doing consistently are the hip flexors.
But, I've missed a few days here and there or done less than I wanted or intended to do. I've become a bit discouraged by the results of my walks. It's taking longer to burn the same calories and longer to get my heart rate up. I feel like a slug!
I find myself mentally slipping into my old attitude about exercise, which may be why I have not committed to a program of strength training and have not started my running program either. It's not quite guilt, but something akin to that. The fact that I have started neither despite intention weighs on me. I feel anchored somehow and know I need to break free from whatever is holding me back.
Part of it is money, but that's an excuse. I don't have the money for running shoes and the shoes I have are completely inappropriate. I want, I want, I want - I hate wanting things this much! I want some exercise dvds (pilates, yoga, basic stuff), I want...I am just tired of that whine in my head!
Part of it is the unknown. Moving my body is not easy, not fun and those strength training exercises are boring. Will it get better over time? Do I have the patience to stick with it long enough to see a difference? What if I can't run? What if, as with walking, I hurt myself and can't do anything for a day or so? What if I fail AGAIN? Why am I letting this old litany hang over me now?
Everything I'm reading about women, age and obesity should be enough inspiration for me to get off the couch and out the door! Hence, my decision to blog this morning! Now, time for breakfast, shower and out the door for my wetlands walk!
Sparkle Saturday, Everyone!
Friday, March 05, 2010
Juneau is my 3 year old Maine Coon cat. I sometimes joke that, if I believed in reincarnation, I would want to come back as her - loved, pampered, never wanting for warmth, play, shelter and great health. I also would not mind getting some of her sleep! If I stopped the blog right there, that would just about sum up my couch potato life. But I am a member of the SparkPeople community
and it cannot end there. Juneau is also very athletic. She loves to run up and down the hall chasing a mouse on a string or the laser light! She takes running leaps and floats to her landing. She's loving, she loves attention and is very snuggly. I need to emulate her athleticism, find that playful fun that Juneau has. And I need to reach out to family and friends, reconnect and reignite that spark of love. I tend to shut down and withdraw when life is not smooth and I have been hibernating in the Silicon Valley for far too long. Time for me to act as if until it is real! Happy Cat!
Thursday, March 04, 2010
I put on my gift pedometer first thing this morning and later discovered that it was not accurately counting my steps. It flipped off 4 times, and I retrieved it the first three. When I discovered it was gone, I retraced my steps (which were many) and never found it.....................I met with a couple of friends over lunch, missing my lunchtime walk in the process, so we could talk about running. The two friends did not know each other and, voila, it sounds as if all 3 of us may be doing a marathon next year! But I did not start running yet. I was so tired by the end of the day, I was dangerously tired on the way home from work. Note to self: don't do that again! I polished off the water early in the day and found myself considering munching in the afternoon for some energy to keep awake...I need to make some changes because this cannot continue. My motivation with respect to the pedometer is quite tempered. At the moment, and it's probably the fatique, I am tired of exercising, of thinking about losing weight, of measuring food and choosing wisely.
HOWEVER, that does not give me license to throw in the towel. I am going to ignore those feelings and keep plugging on. That's a new approach! Yawning...
Wednesday, March 03, 2010
The company employee newsletter carried my want ad on Monday asking for a pedometer. A coworker said she had one on Monday. Tuesday, another coworker called me and asked if I still needed one and I told her that the other friend had not found hers. She came in today with THREE pedometers. Two are the older style ones, one of which is a WW pedometer. The third is another WW pedometer. I clipped one on this monring, not 100% sure I had it set right, but I wore it all day and had fun watching the numbers climb! Two other coworkers asked me today if I still needed a pedometer. One had one to give and the other offered to pick up a $30 one for me if I gave her the $. (She was unclear on the "don't have $" concept). Then I came home, pulled out the tape measure and got it properly set. I am all set to have a more accurate count tomorrow!
I had lunch with a friend at the cafe next door to work. I had a great salad with almost no hidden calories (sesame soy dressing). But, before we sat down, without thinking, I ate a sample piece of dark chocolate with coconut. I was amazed that it was so easy to step back into mindless eating that easily! But I guesstimated the calories, fat ,etc. and logged it all in. Prior to SparkPeople, I would have talked myself into some reason NOT to be honest on the food log.
I drank the water early in the day, but was off kilter in veggies and fruit. Tomorrow is a new day and it will be more on track. Today was not a bad day and I don't feel guilty for the mindless nibble, but I do take today as another example that I have not yet arrived. I cannot afford to skip vigilance with respect to what I put in my mouth! That does not mean I am undisciplined or bad or anything else negative, it means that I need the structure that SparkPeople provides while I learn how to manage this every day, every meal, every morsel.
The other thing I need to do is choose some short term goals to keep me moving forward. The 30 pound goal for the food bank is too far to keep me going full steam ahead. I also need to recalibrate my attitude about exercise. My March goal of a ten percent increase has been dampened by the frustration and apin and inability to execute...........
People are seeing me walk at work, seeing me use my food scale, seeing me use the stairs. I'm not doing this for the attention, but, if I inspire someone to change their life, I become even more blessed and inspired!
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