JUNEAU2010   162,138
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SPY 2; Day 11 - A Step or More Backwards

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

I ended up eating way over today. I don't care. That's not true. I DO care, I just don't have the energy to deal with it. I am so, so, so, so tired. When I get this tired, I look to food to give me energy. Lately, that has not worked. Neither has sleep and neither has exercise.

Somehow, I must turn this around. My employer deserves a better performance and I need to be that better person.

My weaker leg has been very sore all day. Minimal exercise. The back of the leg is very sore and the knee feels absolutely huge.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARRAND 2/9/2011 9:52PM

    Please see your doctor. You need to find out what's going on with the tiredness. Take care of yourself.

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LIBBYFITZ 2/9/2011 4:51PM

    emoticonHave you made an appointment to see your Dr.?

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JHADZHIA 2/9/2011 10:31AM

    Sounds like you need to get a blood test to make sure your blood isn't low. I have had anemia from RA as a result of stress and its no fun :(( You should ice that knee regularly as well. Being that tired if you are getting enough sleep isn't normal and you are under a lot of stress with your work..
Take care of yourself,
emoticon emoticon

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SPY 2, Day 10: Progress

Monday, February 07, 2011

I have not updated my stats on SP, but I stepped on the scale this morning and discovered I am back to the weight Iwas before this year started. It is today's number and I am disappointed, but I am not upset. It's just a snapshot.

Today's exercise was walking, nearly 10K steps. I also went back to the elliptical and completed 3 minutes! One minute more than last week! My left leg, which is the weaker one, felt like rubber and I was not sure it would hold me as I walked to my car, but while I was still on the elliptical, I felt as if I might, might be able to go another 30 seconds.

What's amazing, though, is that when I went into the gym (it's a tiny one at work
with windows looking out at the parking lot). someone was in there jogging on the treadmill. I have seen her before but don't know her. Instead of turning around, I climbed on the elliptical and started moving. I told myself that she was doing her thing and I would not be embarrassed about doing so little. She headed to the free weights after a cool down before I left. I do wonder what she thought about my 3 minute workout. But, as I headed to the car, I told myself that I am very pleased with my progress. I look forward to the day when I laugh about doing 3 minutes!

I am within range on most foods, high on calcium and low on carbs. I will have some popcorn and that should do it.

I am still on the emotional edge of life and the stuff in my life is not any better, but I am just plugging on.

THANK YOU, everyone, for your support, your encouragement.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MYSTERY4EVER 2/8/2011 11:32PM

    Glad you are getting back in the groove. Mixing up exercise is good too. Take care.

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CARRAND 2/8/2011 8:46PM

    The elliptical is a great workout! You can do it!

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LIBBYFITZ 2/8/2011 1:47PM

    emoticonto getting on the Elliptical! emoticon

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CHAOTIC-KITTY 2/8/2011 10:46AM

  Great work on the 3 minutes.. it's a lot better than 0 minutes. I am sure that woman is too busy doing her own thing to count the minutes you were on the elliptical for. ;) Keep on doing what you're doing... you're doing great!

emoticon emoticon

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JHADZHIA 2/8/2011 12:34AM

    Well done!! You did great with the elliptical and its a tougher workout then the treadmill as it works your arms too. The best thing is it being low impact, best for your joints. It is good you didn't concern yourself with what the other person may have thought of your effort. Most people are in their own world exercising, especially if they are plugged into music and don't even notice what anyone else is doing anyway. Everyone's level is different. Its a tremendous effort to try! This is for you and no one else matters!
Keep up the great work. You can't do anything about your work, its out of your hands, so focus on the things you can do that are under your control -like getting fit and healthy!

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SPY 2, Day 9: I Gave Up Today

Monday, February 07, 2011

I lost it this morning. I got very upset at BF over really stupid stuff and money. I was in tears. I can't even articulate the depth of my despair.

I ate a good breakfast but lunch was chips and dip and.......it was the Super Bowl.

Dinner was fish and mixed veggies.

I know I have to start again tomorrow. Tonight, I do not have what it takes.
Let's see how sleep impacts the day.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

STAROFD00M 2/7/2011 10:16PM

    I'm sorry you had a tough day- but tomorrow is a fresh start.
emoticon emoticon

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CARRAND 2/7/2011 7:18PM

    Sounds like you ate well at two meals yesterday - and 2 out of 3 isn't bad. I'm sorry about the fight with your boyfriend. I've been married almost 40 years and my husband and I can still fight sometimes. It still upsets me, but we get over it. I'm sure you'll be fine again, probably before you even read this.


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BYEFATNANNY 2/7/2011 5:28PM

    Your food wasn't that bad! Dips and chips on Super Bowl Sunday...ok, just not every day. Don't beat yourself up. I'm sorry about you and your friend, hope things get patched up. Hang in there.

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CHAOTIC-KITTY 2/7/2011 1:39PM

  emoticon Sorry you're having a bad day... & sorry to hear that you were in an agrument with your BF. Tomorrow IS a new day and will be better for you.

Comment edited on: 2/7/2011 1:41:35 PM

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BIKERBABE2BE 2/7/2011 11:38AM

    emoticon yesterdy was a hard day. "Dust yourself off and get back on the horse", as my grandmother would say. We all have bad days...no one is perfect and who would want to be? I had pizza, egg rolls, bacon and mini tacos yesterday. It was what I wanted. I'll work harder this week, but not beating myself up for yesterday. It's over.

Hope you and BF get things worked out. Hugs!

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JHADZHIA 2/7/2011 8:52AM

    So sorry you had an argument with your bf :(( Hope you guys can resolve it and work it out..
I can think of worse things for the game then chips and dip -many of my Spark friends were planning on pizza, no doubt with alcohol chasers..
You had two good meals, and that is great!! You will get it back, not to worry!
emoticon emoticon

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LIBBYFITZ 2/7/2011 7:36AM

    Have you had a chance to go to the website I was telling you about? emoticon

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VYVIENN 2/7/2011 2:11AM

    Hang in there. Everyone's entitled to a crappy day here and there. emoticon

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AUSSSEMDAY 2/7/2011 12:59AM

  It's ok to have a bad day. Don't beat yourself up! By being on Spark people you have already begun to fight a good fight! :-)

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SPY 2, Day 8: "This is not me" But it is Today's Reality

Saturday, February 05, 2011

One of my SparkFriends replied to last night's blog that I may still be dealing with the after effects of that horrible cold because my energy is just not back. I have been eating well, sleeping well, exercising some, taking vitamins and keeping up with water and I still have no energy.

Her comment made sense. So I am not going to beat myself up for "failing" to get moving today. I did go for a walk today, but it was more of a stroll. BF and I walked through the expensive shopping district in Palo Alto, looked at the exotic foods in the two grocery stores and had a really healthy Jared sandwich at Subways. Our favorite is the oven roasted chicken sandwich on wheat with all the veggies.

I could take a nap now, but if I did, I might not sleep tonight. It's almost 6:30 pm.

Where's my Spark? Where's my determination to lose this tonnage? Where's my energy and my zest for every day? This is not me!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIBBYFITZ 2/6/2011 12:13PM


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JHADZHIA 2/6/2011 12:45AM

    Do yourself one favor. Stop referring to your excess weight as tonnage! This is a very negative self image you are projecting. The first step in really being able to commit to a healthy lifestyle is to love yourself.. Love yourself and don't be so hard on yourself. If you are still feeling the effects of your illness, it is pretty hard to want to exercise.. Do the best you can and don't overtire yourself..
This will pass and you will be back. There have been nasty colds going around that are taking longer than usual to get rid of..
Hang in there,
emoticon emoticon

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HARROWJET 2/5/2011 10:08PM

    Try to be patient with yourself. If you have been ill with a bad cold, it takes time to get back to where you were before. Continue to do the things you know are right and eventually you will notice you are feeling better and have more energy.

It sounds like you had an enjoyable day with a sensible lunch. Doing things like that will help you get back on track. emoticon

Judy emoticon

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SPY 2; Day 8: Mental Health Day, Sort Of

Friday, February 04, 2011

Those of you who've followed my blogs know that this year has started roughly. Most of January was consumed by the cold that was more than a cold. That was followed by the organizational changes and the very strong hint that my job is less than secure.

Along with that have been my own issues and stresses.

I asked my boss late yesterday afternoon if I could take today off as a vacation day and conceded that, given the late hour, a half day might be fair. He left it up to me. After that, his boss asked me for something that I could not definitively answer until this morning because I needed confirmation from our Knoxville office or our Atlanta agent. So I came in this morning, got that information and did a few other things. Not many. Everything I touch this year seems to require more information than I have at hand, so it has been frustrating.

God / fate / whatever you call it works in mysterious ways. I was able to do something at the bank today that I would not have been able to do after hours, get a replacement ATM card. Then I did the grocery shopping. That means, for the weekend, there's nothing I must do except recharge and get in some exercise!

I am tired in every possible way except I am not sleepy. I have been eating right, taking vitamins and getting sleep, but I have been unable to function. I feel as if I am moving through concrete, I have had intermittent shortness of breath but I am physically fine.

Thank you, SparkFriends, for keeping in touch. You have helped me stay focused in at least this area of my life. Thank you is too small a word.

But one very cool thing happened! I am a member of the "Slowest Loser" team. The leader works for SparkPeople. In one of his recent blogs, he asked the team to share what the team means to us. A bunch of us weighed in, so many that he got his wife to select the few that he would share in the follow-up blog. One chosen is my SparkFriend Ishiigirl and another was mine! I did not know this until another SparkFriend mentioned it on my SparkPage. What a nice way to end a rough week!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARRAND 2/5/2011 8:37PM

    You are probably still recovering from the cold/flu that you had in January. You need a few more restful days to get your energy back.


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CATLADY52 2/5/2011 5:12PM

    Hang in there gal. We all have those days of trying so hard and not making any progress. Then there is some recognition of what you have done that makes it all worthwhile. Taake the time to pamper yourself a little. emoticon

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    I read your comments in his blog and was proud to say "she's my friend."
Just keep pushing forward, day by day, hour by hour. That's the only thing that kept me going through January.
Stay determined!

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MARTI2395 2/5/2011 11:17AM


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ISHIIGIRL 2/5/2011 8:29AM

    You deserved the recognition. I think taking time for yourself is the best thing you can do to recharge your battery. You need to do something nice for yourself like get a massage or rent some great movies and just veg. I hope that is what you plan to do this weekend. Take care of yourself! Hugs, Paige

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LIBBYFITZ 2/5/2011 7:01AM

    emoticonThat was a nice way to end a rough week. emoticon hope you are able to have a restful weekend!

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 2/5/2011 12:36AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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