Wednesday, February 09, 2011
I ended up eating way over today. I don't care. That's not true. I DO care, I just don't have the energy to deal with it. I am so, so, so, so tired. When I get this tired, I look to food to give me energy. Lately, that has not worked. Neither has sleep and neither has exercise.
Somehow, I must turn this around. My employer deserves a better performance and I need to be that better person.
My weaker leg has been very sore all day. Minimal exercise. The back of the leg is very sore and the knee feels absolutely huge.
Monday, February 07, 2011
I have not updated my stats on SP, but I stepped on the scale this morning and discovered I am back to the weight Iwas before this year started. It is today's number and I am disappointed, but I am not upset. It's just a snapshot.
Today's exercise was walking, nearly 10K steps. I also went back to the elliptical and completed 3 minutes! One minute more than last week! My left leg, which is the weaker one, felt like rubber and I was not sure it would hold me as I walked to my car, but while I was still on the elliptical, I felt as if I might, might be able to go another 30 seconds.
What's amazing, though, is that when I went into the gym (it's a tiny one at work
with windows looking out at the parking lot). someone was in there jogging on the treadmill. I have seen her before but don't know her. Instead of turning around, I climbed on the elliptical and started moving. I told myself that she was doing her thing and I would not be embarrassed about doing so little. She headed to the free weights after a cool down before I left. I do wonder what she thought about my 3 minute workout. But, as I headed to the car, I told myself that I am very pleased with my progress. I look forward to the day when I laugh about doing 3 minutes!
I am within range on most foods, high on calcium and low on carbs. I will have some popcorn and that should do it.
I am still on the emotional edge of life and the stuff in my life is not any better, but I am just plugging on.
THANK YOU, everyone, for your support, your encouragement.
Monday, February 07, 2011
I lost it this morning. I got very upset at BF over really stupid stuff and money. I was in tears. I can't even articulate the depth of my despair.
I ate a good breakfast but lunch was chips and dip and.......it was the Super Bowl.
Dinner was fish and mixed veggies.
I know I have to start again tomorrow. Tonight, I do not have what it takes.
Let's see how sleep impacts the day.
Saturday, February 05, 2011
One of my SparkFriends replied to last night's blog that I may still be dealing with the after effects of that horrible cold because my energy is just not back. I have been eating well, sleeping well, exercising some, taking vitamins and keeping up with water and I still have no energy.
Her comment made sense. So I am not going to beat myself up for "failing" to get moving today. I did go for a walk today, but it was more of a stroll. BF and I walked through the expensive shopping district in Palo Alto, looked at the exotic foods in the two grocery stores and had a really healthy Jared sandwich at Subways. Our favorite is the oven roasted chicken sandwich on wheat with all the veggies.
I could take a nap now, but if I did, I might not sleep tonight. It's almost 6:30 pm.
Where's my Spark? Where's my determination to lose this tonnage? Where's my energy and my zest for every day? This is not me!
Friday, February 04, 2011
Those of you who've followed my blogs know that this year has started roughly. Most of January was consumed by the cold that was more than a cold. That was followed by the organizational changes and the very strong hint that my job is less than secure.
Along with that have been my own issues and stresses.
I asked my boss late yesterday afternoon if I could take today off as a vacation day and conceded that, given the late hour, a half day might be fair. He left it up to me. After that, his boss asked me for something that I could not definitively answer until this morning because I needed confirmation from our Knoxville office or our Atlanta agent. So I came in this morning, got that information and did a few other things. Not many. Everything I touch this year seems to require more information than I have at hand, so it has been frustrating.
God / fate / whatever you call it works in mysterious ways. I was able to do something at the bank today that I would not have been able to do after hours, get a replacement ATM card. Then I did the grocery shopping. That means, for the weekend, there's nothing I must do except recharge and get in some exercise!
I am tired in every possible way except I am not sleepy. I have been eating right, taking vitamins and getting sleep, but I have been unable to function. I feel as if I am moving through concrete, I have had intermittent shortness of breath but I am physically fine.
Thank you, SparkFriends, for keeping in touch. You have helped me stay focused in at least this area of my life. Thank you is too small a word.
But one very cool thing happened! I am a member of the "Slowest Loser" team. The leader works for SparkPeople. In one of his recent blogs, he asked the team to share what the team means to us. A bunch of us weighed in, so many that he got his wife to select the few that he would share in the follow-up blog. One chosen is my SparkFriend Ishiigirl and another was mine! I did not know this until another SparkFriend mentioned it on my SparkPage. What a nice way to end a rough week!
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