Saturday, December 25, 2010
Christmas dawned early. I could not sleep. I got up early, weighed and jumped onto the SP site, accruing most of today's points before breakfast. I reported last week that the site showed a loss when I had actually gained a pound. Today, I weighed 2 pounds less, but the site reports one. I have not lost 2 pounds in one week for a while. I haven't figured out exactly what I did right last week. I know what I did not do, but that's it. I skipped almost all of the treats at work and I did some walking every day, but nothing outstanding.
The promised rain has finally arrived. It is a "hybernation" kind of day and I am glad for it. My lower back is still hurting, so no movement today. That was probably what kept me waking up.
I have a lot of things to do, but no energy today. Tomorrow...
Friday, December 24, 2010
Nonie_C posted a blog yesterday about giving yourself 5 self-care presents. She said write them down, wrap them up as 5 presents under the tree and unwrap them for Christmas. Then, take that wrapping paper and cut it in smaller pieces of paper. Write down things such as "drink water", "go for a walk" and then hang them up as if they are ornaments, post them somewhere visible or stick them in your pocket. Then do one of those steps every hour.
I don't have a tree (cats and no room and allergies/dislike of artificial), so I will have to do this in a different way. I'm not sure what my five gifts will be, so I might have to work backwards from my goal for 2011. I am not even sure what my goal is in terms of pounds lost. Should I shoot for the entire 55 I need to lose or, because I may hit the same excruciatingly long series of plateaus as I did this year should I shoot for something closer to the 25 I lost this year?
The number is not the be all and end all. I will do things this next year that bring me closer to the healthy life I want.
One gift: strong bones (vehicle: strength training)
A second gift: Healthy body (vehicle: healthy eating)
A third gift: healthy heart (vehicle: cardio)
A fourth gift: intellectual growth (vehicle: education where and how I can find it!)
A fifth gift: (This one is real!). Two pair of New Balance walking shoes!
I went for a walk today which I have not done consistently when I have a day off. When I started, my hip started bugging me and I almost turned around. I kept going and it worked out. I walked to the small shopping center near home. My foot started hurting and I walked into Sports Authority. I have very short wide feet that are different widths and different lengths. I have to buy for the width and just deal with shoes that are slightly too long. I went to the clearance aisles and did not find anything. Then I went back to the womens section and found two pair of New Balance shoes on closeout. One pair is called a trainer and the other pair is for walking. I will keep one at work. I wore the other ones home.
At work, they are raising the cost of the yoga classes. I could not afford them at this year's price, so I see this shoe investment as if I were buying 10 weeks of yoga class. I need the walk as often as I can.
My brother gave me an Amazon gift card so I may use that to get some yoga dvds or something. Not that I know much about yoga, but I know I need the flexibility, balance and strength it can give me. I also have some too-little-used Pilates DVDs.
The last gift I give myself is enough "selfishness" to put exercise and other self-care elements in my daily routine.
In so doing, perhaps I come a bit closer to becoming the temple of the Spirit that my body is meant to be.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
I was 13 when I met my dad and I met the rest of that side of the family slowly over the next few years. Their holiday traditions were different from those of my stepfather and his family and it took me a while to understand the beauty of both traditions.
"Little" Christmas Eve is one of those traditions. On "Little" Christmas Eve, we were allowed to open one present from a friend (not a family member). Only late in Dad's life did he share why he thinks the tradition exists. I always thought it was one of those remote Norwegian habits just as Santa Lucia Day is. Bestefar emigrated from Norway when he was a young man. I met him very late in his life when he had forgotten his English and I did not know enough Norwegian to bridge the gap. But that did not harm the genuine affection between us - but I digress.
Dad thinks his father invented the tradition when my two aunts and dad were little so that it would take some of the pressure cooker steam of Christmas anticipation off and buy the parents some peace. I don't care what the reason is. Observing the Eve makes me feel closer to my grandfather, a man larger than life. With both Bestefar and Dad gone, it makes me feel closer to both of them and I feel their approval.
It's a warm feeling!
My back is feeling some better and the nausea is almost completely gone. Finally!
Today was the last day of work for the year. I ended up working late covering Yvonne's desk. Some contracts had to be dated this year and she left when everyone else left at 2:00. She had a doctor appointment that had been scheduled in anticipation of us being cut loose early.
After I got those rush deals out, I did some straightening in my office. It needs more, but I am tired and will be headed home as soon as I post this. On my own time, now. I would never do this on company time!
I have books to read, exercise to do, planning to do for the first part of the year. I need to get ready for my Toastmaster mentorship experience. It starts on the 3rd! That first day of work is going to be hectic. I also need to start my online certification course.
I read an SP article today about setting goals that, on their face, seem unattainable. I'm not sure what I think about that. This 11 month journey has been amazing and frustrating and life-changing. I know I will continue to learn and grow but the question is will I continue to lose weight? And how will that go? Facing my fear. I hit the longest plateau of my life last spring and a couple shorter ones after that. Couple that with the fact that I do not have a loving relationship with exercise and I am looking at my 25 loss for these 11 months.
Yes, I know all the truisms, that slower is better. And, yes, in my head, I agree. But I want more! I really would LOVE to lose the other 55 pounds by this time next year. Is that doable?
For a lot of you, yes, you have done it. Me? Not sure. It would mean a HUGE lifestyle change in terms of cardio and time commitment. I cannot coast as I have sometimes this year. I really need to commit, but it might be wiser to commit to an incremental increase in activity. I am still thinking about this.
I have not even done the 28 day plan yet! Maybe I will read that part of the book and start the day after Christmas. More thought.
I did spread the Spark today. They're thinking about starting a WW at work club here, but they may not have enough participants. I was talking to one of the prospective members and told her what I am doing. We've talked in the past, but not recently. I know she wants to lose the weight, but I don't think she's ready to work at it. I told her I will bug her for a walk when we come back in January.
The company is lowering their subsidy for the yoga classes so the cost will go up next year. I could not afford them at the current rate, so that tells me I need to figure out other avenues of exercise. Yes, I know there are a lot. More thought.
The day is not over, but my home internet connection is not reliable, so.....I'm signing off here.
If you are not seeing responses from me, it's the lack of connectivity through the internet, not because I am ignoring you or don't care.
What are your unique holiday traditions? Please share!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
I have felt like crap all week because my lower back is chronically hurting and, whether it's the pain or something else, the nausea has been worse than the pain. I usually head for carbs when my tummy feels off, but I did not take the full plunge today.
More goodies today, including more of the fabulous sourdough-raisin-cranberry bread. It is a good thing the bakery, in San Francisco, is about 40 miles away or I would be broke and a blimp! I had a piece of the bread but left the brownies, tarts and other sweets. I did not go back - I would have grabbed more bread!
At lunch today, I still felt like crap but I took my walk. The walk did not make the discomfort go away, but I am glad I went. Ever since I was a child with my leg brace, I have always had a mental race either with myself or someone in the vicinity or a car or....If I would see a car coming, I would try to pass a pole or get in a certain number of steps before it passed me. Today, I heard a group of guys walking behing me and I was determined that they were not going to pass me (I am a turtle). Their voices got louder, I walked faster. I turned the corner and started up the incline. They were going to pass me! Faster! Faste! Heart rate is up! I look over my shoulder and they went straight instead of following around the turn and up the hill. It took a LONG time for my heart to settle back down, but it felt really good. My blog was going to be about the walk, but this evening happened!
I was hungry all day, all day, all day! When I came home, BF decided he had to go to the corner store. He came home with armloads of whole wheat super healthy bread. A guy donating bread to the local food pantry broke down. While waiting for the AAA tow truck, he started passing out the bread. I live in a very poor community surrounded by communities of great wealth. It was truly a blessing! Years ago, I bought a freezer that is both taller and wider than me and it had room. This guy was an angel and his generosity stretched my food budget for several months. The fact that it's good-for-me bread is fantastic! I could not afford this quality product.
BF went back and saw the guy driving to the food bank. A neighbor said he had just delivered at the homeless vets home at the VA.
I definitely have an attitude of gratitude tonight!
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
I mentioned a few blogs ago that the season of layoffs has returned. I have not been counting, but I would guess about a dozen people have been let go. I don't know that they are all layoffs or how the departures are characterized, but it's hard not to be cynical. This does not include the students who are leaving.
One of my friends and coworkers called me this evening to say she has been fired or thinks she has been. She was pretty upset and the connection was not great, so she was hard to understand. She has been supporting her brother who has renal failure, she has been overwhelmed with two sisters who have cancer and has been having an unbelievably rough couple of years. There are few jobs where she is, so she is going to have to think about moving, but into that calculus is making sure her brother can get the care he needs.
I was absolutely thunderstruck and speechless when she called me. I don't know what happened, but I know Wendy and just cannot imagine what happened.
Yesterday, I passed up on all the treats. Today, I had 3 quarter-sized pieces of sourdough bread with raisins and cranberries and a small chocolate rice krispie type treat. It tasted good, but I am not sure what made me dive in today after skipped all the temptations that have surrounded me since Thanksgiving.
I have had a really awful lower back ache for days and so have not done much exercise. Somehow, I got in over 9K steps, though...
Tired, not sure I can sleep. I have hated seeing people leave and would be less than honest if I did not say I am scared about being next.
I am going to miss Wendy!
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