Sunday, October 24, 2010
My mother's birthday was this week and I did not comment about it on the day or until now. As bad as our relationship was, the fact that we have not had a relationship since 1971 has been equally bad. This was her choice. She missed out on seeing me grow up and become a person. I missed out on seeing my sisters grow up, see them get married, know their spouses and their children. She is the source of a lot of my emotional relationship with food, but, knowing that does not solve things. I still have to make my daily decisions in that regard. 'Nuff said.
I stepped on the scale this morning and was absolutely STUNNED to see a 2.9 weight gain! The tortilla chips earlier in the week probably led to water retention and it could be that TOM is approaching - at my age, it's hard to tell. But I was stunned! I have been HUNGRY, not just a little, but a lot for most days this week. I did not pig out and still this happened! As slowly as I lose, this gain sets me back to a couple of weeks before I graduated at the end of June!
This stubborn Norwegian feels like quitting.
I did not do anything today. At all.
This evening ends on a wonderful note! The San Francisco Giants beat the Phillies and will host the Texas Rangers in the World Series starting Wednesday!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
I did not hear back from my supervising attorney today so I can guess that she is saving it up for our Tuesday meeting. I DID, however, find an executed document that she wanted, so that may soften the criticism on the statute search.
This evening was the district contest and, as it turned out, I was not needed for the evaluation contest, so I was a judge for the humorous speech contest. There is so much I could say about what I did not like about the evening...The quality of the speech from the various area governors and other leaders was, for the most part, disappointing. The top guy was very polished, almost too slick.
I finally got to hear the evaluation style of the guy who won the contest I entered. He is very flashy, very funny, but his humor is just a bit condescending and demeaning. I felt as if I were the only one to hear that. At the end of the evening, when he did not place, I felt perhaps my observatioins were not solo.
One of the humorous speeches was rather juvenile in the humor and used a razor and a container of deodorant. It went downhill from there. Another speaker gave a rather techncal speech with humor. It was an interesting speech, but not slapstick funny. I would like to work on that technique for a manual speech. Another speaker used oversized props for his magician-themed speech. He was quite good. And my coworker and friend did a wonderful job on his speech! He placed second. The winner was also the winner in the evaluation contest and both offerings were more show than speech.
I am not showy or flashy nor even particularly funny. I am discouraged about my place in Toastmasters.
They had Indian food for the dinner. I was glad I had eated earlier. I like Indian food, but I knew these dishes were loaded with high calorie sauces. I did have a couple of pieces of naan, the thin bread that's kind of like a pita. I had some chicken (I knew I was low on protein), and a tablespoon of curried rice. The guy in front of me commented about how little food I took. I was surprised! Even the little I took sent me over the edge on calories.
As I conclude this, I am hungry, but it is very late, so I am just going to bed. I got in over 11K steps and nearly an hour of walking. This is good - I need to be able to walk 5K for the fundraiser walk.
Speaking of the walk, I asked my VP of Legal about whether I could post a note in the company bulletin or if I may use the company email system to ask a few of my coworkers to donate. She asked me to send her what I drafted for the newsletter. I sent her the draft, the reply and the redraft. She is about to travel and did not, presumably, have time to reply. Because I work in the Legal Department, I do not want to do anything that would make it appear the company sanctions this event or that the strength of the department is behind a request for donations. I know I was right to ask the question. Now I must be patient.
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
I spent most of the day reading statutes, which I hate to do. I find it mind-numbingly boring. But I have to find the info for my attorney. Panic is starting to set in. What if I can't find what she wants? I will appear stupid and she won't hold back in her criticism.
Perhaps it is that stress that made me HUNGRY all day. I did very well, for the most part, until evening. Then I went carbo crazy. Not conducive to success!
The Giants are leading in the game, but the lead is tenuous and there is a lot of time left.
One of my SP friends is feeling down. I hope she sees my blog and sees that I am thinking of her. I sent her a Sparkgoodie that matches her favorite sport. I hope that perks her up!
The fundraiser walk is exactly a month away. A few people have donated generously and I am humbled. I still have a long way to go for the donations. For the two of us, I need to raise $500. I sent an email to the publisher of our inhouse company newsletter but I have not yet heard whether or not she will publish the article. It is not a company-sponsored thing, but they run "ads" so I am hopeful. I don't feel right about using company supplies (copier, etc) to solicit donations, but I need to do something. I have not had time to work on a flyer nor do I have the artistic abilities. I picture things, but they always look as if I child produced them! Of course, that might be fitting for a child charity, but....
I MUST get back on track tomorrow!
Tuesday, October 19, 2010
My head feels better, but my stomach hurts when I eat.
I got in over 10K steps without a lunch time walk. Not sure how I managed that, but I was busy all day. I am still feeling really overwhelmed, but I just realized tomorrow is Wednesday not Thursday, so I have some extra time for some research I need to do. I am not a huge fan of researching statutes. Reading statutes puts me to sleep! Of course, if I were better at it, I might not feel that way.
I finally got back in to the charity site and finished setting up my fundraiser page. A coworker already donated so I am committed! I drafted an article for the company newsletter but I don't know if it will be published or not. As I said in my earlier blog about this, the SP policies prevent me from specifics. If you are interested in donating to a health cause for children, send me an email with your personal email address and I will send you the info. Obviously, this is not an arm twisting situation, just a note that the opportunity exists if you are interested.
I scarfed down a handful of tortilla chips until I put the bag away. It was as if I were watching someone eat them. I really don't like that....!
I ordered a CD of my performance on local TV. This will be fun. I will learn a lot by watching everyone. The next time I get to do that, I will do a better job.
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