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Victory + Setback = My Usual Kind of Day

Saturday, October 09, 2010

I woke up feeling stiff and sluggish. I skipped my usual elevator exercises and did not walk as much, even though I ended up with over 7200 steps. By the end of the day, the slight tightness in the back of my left leg had become hot tendons in both legs. I was limping around and very glad to get home!

Before it got bad, I was able to finish a project for my supervising attorney. I indexed 3 boxes of files and got the set up to be stored in off site storage with permanent retention flags for each. To my pleasant surprise, she came out of her office and gestured thanks. That felt really good! More than that, I met my own personal deadline. That is always iffy because I underestimate how much time things will take.

At the end of the day, I discovered that someone in another department had not filed a report that should have been filed in May. Well, actually, the discovery was made by someone else who thought I was the person who should have filed it. I've never filed this particular report before, so, in the process of reporting to her about it, I discovered who it should have been (I save emails and it saves me often!). So I will fill out the report and ask my boss to sign it before filing it with the agency. It looks as if it is a very simple report and should not take more than 5 minutes to fill out, but the research to get to that point may take a while...I answered the requester with the statement that I have never done this report, that our boss told the agency who would file it, but that I appreciate the chance to learn something new, will fill it out and get it signed. I thought that was a positive response. (My first one was not couched as carefully, so I am glad I did not send it.)

I realized late in the day that it has been a while since the tendonitis flared up. I have been walking some every day, so I was probably due for it. I don't think I will raise my daily step count this next week.

This week, I weighed every day, but I did not record it. It was just to keep an eye on things. One day, I was up half a pound, down a pound the next, up 1.1 pounds the next and maybe almost 3 today. Tomorrow is my official weigh in, so we shall see. It would be fabulous if the number is anything close to what it was this morning because that would put me solidly in the next 10 pound range down! I have been hovering around 170 for months. Up 2, down 3 and all kinds of fractions in between! BLEH!

The San Francisco Giants are leading late in the second game of the series. I hope, I hope, I hope...I became a fan when Roger Craig managed the team. He is affectionately known as the Original Humm Baby. He was at the park tonight and I would love to have seen him again! I heard his voice on the radio, but the TV was still showing the end of the Reds-Phillies game and I did not get to see him.

I was in range on food today, but did not do much for fitness. As sore as I feel, tomorrow may be the same. But, you know what's different about this? Pain is not a show stopper. Yes, it may delay things, but this will not end my healthy journey. THAT is what is different. It has been, all my life, easy for me to give up on diets when it was hard. I am a stubborn person in most respects but not this. Interesting reflection. I will have to think about this.

And the game is tied. Rats! It was 4-1! ACK!

Fitting for the day, but I still hope...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CMRAND54 10/9/2010 9:20PM

    You had a interesting day, and it sounds like you coped really well. How exciting that your team is in the playoffs! I am a Cubs fan, and they don't very often get to play any post season games.

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EMPTYNESTER60 10/9/2010 10:00AM

    Love your change it attitude! Take it easy this weekend but don't give up. That's what I love about Spark - it helps you change not only your weight but more importantly, your mindset & outlook on life. Keep up the great job! Feel better soon!

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JHADZHIA 10/9/2010 1:20AM

    Good for you having the foresight to save e-mails on things like that! You did great with work, now its time to rest and recover. Have a quiet weekend and relax and enjoy it!
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Baseball, Toastmasters, Workload and Food

Friday, October 08, 2010

Fingers crossed as I type - the San Francisco Giants are this close to winning the first game against the Braves! I am so glad I get to see this game on TV after a really challenging day.

I told a coworker my day felt as if I were trying to keep the popping corn from escaping the popcorn popper and that I was not very successful at it. I maintain several spreadsheets, but had not been on top of them lately because I have been learning a new process. The intended time to get those caught up never seemed to happen and that caught up with me. I had to drop everything and work on those because the higher ups need some information that my team can't pull together without my information. ARGH! One of my team members is going to call a meeting to talk about how we need to have a better process. She is not buying it that I have been BUSY! It does not help that most of my team is in TN and I am in CA...

The VP of marketing for the Toastmaster district my club is in sent me an email inviting me to participate in a televised program about Toastmasters. I will be the evaluator. I cleared it with our compliance officer since my company sponsors our club. No issues, so I can participate. It will be on Monday evening and, I think, it will be on the community access channel. WOW! Shuold be a fun experience!

I had an unplanned lunch out. A friend asked me to notarize something and we had to go to his wife's workplace so they could sign together. He bought lunch as a thank you on the way back. He did not have to, but we have been friends and coworkers for nearly 10 years. That burrito tasted good, but not great and, as I have learned, I did not need to eat every bite to enjoy it. But I did eat it all. That meant a very light lunch and I feel hungry. BUT I ended the day in range on every metric! WOOHOO! I can't remember the last time that happened!

The Giants just won the game...I will sleep well tonight!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ULEWIJ 10/8/2010 11:21PM

    you slept well last night after the win...but question is....what bout tonight?? ;)


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POORGIRL_DIET 10/8/2010 8:13PM


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JHADZHIA 10/8/2010 12:40AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
I am glad your team won and that you had a nice finish to your day!!

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Charity Walk, Work Overload and Clothes

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

Today was quite an interesting day. My supervising attorney was unhappy with me, but she did not rip into me as I feared she might. She was not feeling well and I very much appreciated the fact that she did not launch into a tirade. How many times have I spoken sharply and then apologized, offering the excuse that I was stressed/didn't feel well/whatever...I was humbled by her example and told her so.

I volunteered to be Toastmaster (emcee) for today's meeting at nearly the last minute. We had a guest speaker from the club next door and the other speaker was from our club. Both are not native English speakers, so it took intense listening to understand what they were saying. The same held true for our wordmaster of the day, both evaluators and the timer. We had several guests, one of whom was from our Knoxville office. I did not get a chance to meet her. She arrived late and left early. Another guest was a member years ago. He remembers me, but I did not think I had ever seen him before! Last was another guest: a man who's been newly prompted to the newly created position of Operations Director. He joined on the spot! He knew me, but I did not know him. That is to say, I have seen him from a distance but had never spoken with him before. What a gracious man he is! I was completely charmed! Before the meeting started, someone put up a picture of the two winners from the Area contest. Jean-Francois won the humorous speech contest and I came in second in the evaluation contest. It was kind of fun seeing the picture, but I was very leery of appearing to make the meeting all about me!

Every day, I get something more added to my workload. Most of the time I welcome it, but it is starting to wear me down! Some of the time, it's not more work, but is a rearrangement of priorities. When I was younger, I think I rolled with it more easily than I do now. But I was also a bit of an unpleasant person...Grouchy, moody, snappy...bleh! Today's was a call from a coworker who is a level above me in our group asking me about one of the spreadsheets I maintain. I told her quite honestly that I am a bit behind in updating and she seemed stunned. I can predict that I will get an email or call from our boss tomorrow with an email to his boss......sigh! My supervising attorney wants me to finish the overtime project ASAP and there is so much of it that I can't give her an ETA. It does not help that I keep asking her questions that, if I thought about it, I would have the answer. Maybe that's stress.

I wore size 14 slacks yesterday that I've had for a long time. They have never been right. Too narrow in the hip and the legs are too long. Supposedly Petite Short, but they are not. I put on a different same size pair today with some trepidation and discovered they are LOOSE! Wow! I will have to pull out the tape measure this weekend!

Signing up for the 5K charity walk was something of an impulse. I have a friend who, when she had her daughter 3 years ago, wanted me to make donations to this charity in lieu of gifts. I have done that for birthdays and Christmas. I decided a walk in her honor would be another gift I could give. Deanna does not have any childhood cancer, but her mom wanted this charity to benefit, so...that's how it started. After signing up, I remembered that I really hated being in sales. I hated it whether it was in person, door to door or over the phone. So how can I raise donations without giving email addresses to the charity or shamelessly metaphysically begging with my hand out.

SparkPeople's policies prevent me from naming the charity or posting anything specific on this site. It is a nationally known charity, I am walking a 5K on November 20. IF you are interested in helping fight childhood cancers, email me and I will send you the info and promise not to post your email address on my team page on the organization's site unless you say I may do so. If you cannot donate or don't choose to, wish me well anyway because it is for the next generation of children...This is my first time doing something like this...

As I sit, I am in the dark. Electrical problems at home. Blown fuses have been replaced and the living room is still dark. As if I needed anything else to worry about in terms of money...My mobile home is OLD and some of the elements are original. BF is trying to do some electrical work, but I don't know how much he knows about what he's doing...Yikes...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CMRAND54 10/7/2010 10:24PM

    You look great in the photo. What a week you've had. Hang in there honey. You're doing great. Pants too loose is a good sign.

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JAKEANDNELLIE 10/7/2010 7:13PM

    Just keep pushing forward - one day at a time.
You will do all of what needs to be done!

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JHADZHIA 10/7/2010 1:01AM

    Lovely photo! You look great!
Sorry about your work overload. All you can do is get the most important projects done first.. Glad you didn't get the dressing down you feared..
I worry about your boyfriend digging around in the electrical if he is not trained. Could end up worse..
Hope you have a good and restful sleep. Have a good breakfast to get you through your long days. You need it..

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RJFERRARO315 10/6/2010 11:45PM

    Good luck managing it all. emoticon Just take a few deep breaths and one step at a time.

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In the Hot Seat and Other Musings

Wednesday, October 06, 2010

The last few days, I have been HUNGRY! Yesterday, I ate way above my calorie range and still went to bed hungry. At lunch yesterday, I got my seasonal flu shot. My toe caught on a crack in the sidewalk and I landed on my left side. Not much except skin left on the scene. My balance is always precarious, but I notice when I lose weight, I have balance issues until things sort of reset about 5 pounds later. This happens every 10-15 pounds.

Today was more on track as far as food goes, but I did not get as much exercise in. I know I need to do more, but I can't seem to make myself do it.

And I will probably get chewed out by my supervising attorney tomorrow. What a lovely thing to be anicipating. She asked me to do something last week and I did not realize we could do it inhouse, so I was going to send it to the contractor that we use. I have taken on some new tasks and had not gotten around to it until today, a week later. When she asked me for a status report, I learned that it could be done inhouse. I got it done, but she is probably going to bend my ear about it tomorrow. The delay is my fault, but.........

The company newsletter next week will have my picture in it with my Toastmaster 2nd place trophy. The new CEO is a huge supporter of Toastmasters, so that bodes well for the stability of the club.

I had thought I would reach my halfway goal at New Years, but that is highly unlikely. That will mean that it will probably take more than 2 years for me to lose the total 80 pounds. If I look at it like that, it's very discouraging. So I will focus on closer, more attainable goals.

I love my new fit and healthy food containers! I am trying to get to the point where I don't have to put my food in the fridge in the coffee bar. Every time I do, I miss something, it gets moved, I can't find it or....frustrating. Besides, I am using these containers to teach my BF about portion control. He laughs when he sees how small a serving of cereal is!

I signed up for the charity walk, but haven't sent emails yet. I'm a bit nervous about it. Will my friends resent the emails? What about the rejection? What if I cannot raise the minimum $250?

There is more I could say, but it is very late and I'd better get some sleep! Good night, Spark Friends!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAKEANDNELLIE 10/7/2010 2:02PM

    emoticonJust keep pushing forward, no matter how slow it seems. My losing has really slowed down, but my consistency has not been what it should be!
I'm glad you're okay from the fall. I took one while out walking Tuesday and am just now able to walk around the house again. I think it was just bruising and a strains, but I landed on the hip and knee that were injured before so it has been really painful. I hope to get outside to walk a couple of miles tomorrow, but not if I'm in pain in the morning!

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CMRAND54 10/6/2010 9:51PM

    Hang in there. You can do it. I lost 65 pounds in a year. I'll bet you can do as well.

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LIBBYFITZ 10/6/2010 9:52AM

    emoticonSend out the e-mail. You will get support. more than you realize! emoticon

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JHADZHIA 10/6/2010 1:24AM

    It took me two years to lose 65 lbs, so I don't see 80 lbs in two years being that bad, its all in the perspective. We both have physical obstacles to overcome. That makes it far harder..
Congrats on the Toastmasters success!!
I have a Spark buddy already soliciting funds for her charity walk. I said I am Canadian and support my own charities for people in my own country, as others not from the US have also commented. I have been involved with charities, but have never used my e-mail lists for it. I only ask people in person that I know. I feel its nicer that way and I am not spamming anyone who may resent it. But I have found most people on Sparks to be nice and fairly tolerant. I think very few would mind..
A better way is to blog about it and have anyone e-mail you if interested.. This friend gave her Facebook address.
Hope you get a good sleep!

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Saturday, October 02, 2010

Yvonne was hired to take a position I was vacating 4 years ago. I trained her for the job she does now and, in that process, we became friends. Over the years, we got closer and even went on weekend trips together. Through this time, she has had times when she's been moody and full of self-pity. There have been times when I have been prickly and not nice to be with. We have worked through our communication difficulties, but are seemingly now at an impasse.

She has a lot of health problems and is on a ton of medications. I know some of what is going on, but not all. She has put on a lot of weight, some of it from her meds and some not. She spends thousands of dollars on dream vacations but never has money otherwise. Her parents are elderly and not in good health. She has a love/hate relationship with them, but I think she is now realizing what I have been saying for 4 years - that she will miss them when they are gone. They help her a lot financially and she stands to inherit a lot of money and two homes when they die. Therefore, she does not save for retirement.

I do not have a lot of health problems and am on no medications. I don't even remember to take vitamins. I have lost some weight this year and Yvonne is quite jealous of that. My father is dead and my mother might as well be (she disowned me when I was 13). I have no financial safety cushon other than my retirement (and I borrowed against that this year...very reluctantly). I seldom take vacations and have had only 2 "dream" vacations - both were trips to Hawaii (one of which was after my dad's funeral, so it was not optimal).

There is a lot going on in my life, but they are things I cannot talk about. Yvonne knows my workload has exploded, that I have suffered some losses this year and...well, we all have troubles.

Yvonne is jealous because I have a boyfriend. She is very man-hungry and feels incomplete without someone. I don't know the whole story, but I know she is divorced. She brushes off the fact that my relationship is less than ideal. She even compares the number of friends we have on FB!

Like my friend Valerie, Yvonne seems to forget that other people have troubles that, for them, could be as all-encompassing as theirs. I have been learning how to do part of Yvonne's job (something that she has been doing for about a year, something I never had to do when I covered her desk). Yesterday, there was a flurry of emails about one of the transactions I did. The other person made a mistake, I made a mistake and a 3rd person made a mistake. Yvonne was copied on all the emails, but she did not read them. She sent me an email this morning asking what was going on and, at the moment she sent it, I was on major overload and did not respond in the most professional manner. I said, "If you read the emails..." Poor judgment on my part. It set her off into one of her feeling sorry for herself email tirades.

She said, among other things, that she thinks I have been angry with her about my graduation! I was floored. She won't tell me what I said or did (or did not say or do) that gives her that idea. Yvonne is a very generous soul. She came to my graduation and took pictures. She had her friend video my walk etc. We had lunch together and she gave me a very expensive (to me) gift. I had that Mahalo Party at work and she videotaped that and took pictures. She put all those pictures in a bound book that she designed with my school colors. She also had a custom frame made with my announcement (that she had designed for me) with my tassel. Then she burned the videos on DVDs so I could share with my family. As I said, incredibly generous. At my Mahalo Party, I gave thank you gifts to a number of people, the best of which was the gift for her. I was just nonplussed by her statement and she won't tell me why she feels that way. I don't know what to do.

The San Francisco Giants lost the game tonight and I ate more calories than I should have...I got some steps in, just under 3 miles, a tiny bit of strength training, but I need to do a lot more.

I am going in to work tomorrow to put in the OT hours that I could not do this week. I have been exhausted...!

I feel terrible that my thorny personality has hurt her and I just don't know how to change me in that regard.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NADJAZZ 10/4/2010 12:20PM

    I don't think you should be blaming yourself for having a "thorny" personality...Yvonne has some accountability in the all the events you described....she should have read the emails, or perhaps prefaced hers by saying "I'm having trouble following, can you just summarize the outcome". For your graduation, I think it's unfair of her to refuse giving you an explanation. You two have been friends long enough, I hope to eventually sort this out and put it behind you.

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CMRAND54 10/2/2010 10:28PM

    I have a friend at work who is not happy unless she is fighting with someone. I don't know why. Usually it's someone different every week. Sometimes she tries to fight with me, but I just ignore her for a while until she gets over it. I won't let her push me around, I don't fight back, I just walk away. We are never responsible for how others act. We can only control our own behavior. If you've done something you're sorry about, say you're sorry. Otherwise just live your own life and let your friend live hers.

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JHADZHIA 10/2/2010 9:42AM

    2nd what Libby says. Its her fault not reading the e-mails.. I really can't see why on earth she would think you blame her for your graduation!! That is just out there.. Unfortunately, you seem to have the misfortune to have had a lot of mentally unstable coworkers. Wish they would have gotten some help :(( Yvonne sounds like she could sure use some.
Sorry you have to work this weekend :(
Try to get some rest time in there somewhere.
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LIBBYFITZ 10/2/2010 3:55AM

    If she won't open up and explain then there is no more you can do! just be you, it is OK to be a bit short at times , you are human, not a robot! emoticon

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