Sunday, August 22, 2010
I did not feel great today, just run down. I slept a ton, have a slight sore throat as if I am fighting something...We had errands to do. We pulled into the Costco parking lot and I saw a sign that the pet food store was hosting cat adoptions. When I saw it was Safe Haven, I had to go in and see them. It was from them that I got my beloved Juneau, my now four-year-old Maine Coon. The lady with the kittens was the same one who had given me Juneau. I was so happy to have the chance to tell her how wonderfully she has turned out!
There were 5 kittens there. Two were white with orange spots, two were white with black spots and one was solid grey. The solid grey looked like my Russian Blue that died almost 2 years ago. I had Bug for over 20 years and still miss him! Were I not about to get this tiny kitten, I would have snapped up this grey one!
While we were driving, my cellphone rang. I let BF answer it. It was the lady with the kitten (I have dealt mostly with her BF). She told him that she wanted to do a home inspection, which had not come up previously.
I called her back when I got home and told her I had two reasons why this was beyond my comfort level. I've never had to do a home inspection before for any other adoption (I know that it is common for fostering pets) and I also have a phobia/anxiety disorder about my home. Just the thought of having someone come over is enough for me to get physically ill. I am not exaggerating. Stacey seemed to ridicule that or maybe she did not believe me. She was unwilling to waive the home visit and I was unwilling to go through with it. Even writing about it has me feeling ill. The thing about phobias or anxiety disorders is that, if someone tells you they have one, they are being terribly honest! It is not something I have ever talked about to anyone, even my family. Driving home, knowing I was going to have to tell her, I started thinking about my Mother.
Mother is agoraphobic. She does not like to leave the house and that's an understatement. I had never admitted to myself that my thing about not having people over was anything like her completely debilitating, life-defining fear.
My heart is broken! But, as people have told me on Facebook, another cat that needs a home will cross my path. Still, it's hard to let go of this tiny baby who won my heart.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
As usual, I ended the day with too many calories. I have gotten into the bad habit of eating cookies to solve a sweet craving. Even when I ate without caring, I hardly ever had cookies, so I don't know why this has suddenly become a practice...
I drove to Albany today to meet my new kitten. That sentence does not adequately explain what a big deal that was. I learned to drive later, in my 30s, and have always been a bit of a nervous driver. My BF is an aggressive driver and being his passenger gave me enough fear that I have something akin to anxiety attacks when I am driving in unfamiliar situations. Thus, I rarely deviate from my usual routes. To drive across the Bay to a town I've never been, even with really good, clear directions, was a big deal.
At one point, he accidently turned the radio up to blast. I thought he was teasing me and I screamed at him and stopped the car. We had already missed the exit off the freeway and were wandering around some side streets. I was a bit scared because I had no idea where we were and, from his comments, I did not think he was sure. His dad had an upholstery shop in the area, but that was 20-30 years ago and all the landmarks have changed. When I realized he was not teasing me, I felt badly for screaming. He does not begin to understand the anxiety that borders on panic.
Anyway, we found the house. The neighborhood is full of post WWII homes, very tiny and very cute. Joel met us and was glad for the company. We met Millie, his 15 year old dog. I have no idea what kind of dog she is, but she is a much smaller dog than I guessed from the pictures.
Then we met Ruby. She is absolutely tiny! She's about 6 weeks old and absolutely adorable. I brought a disposable camera and took about 5 or 6 pictures. I will have to take more to finish the camera and get them developed. At one point, she was hanging off of Joel's crossed foot as if she were dangling from a tree branch. She had the strength to climb up and stand on his foot. There was plenty of real estate left! She is very tiny! I am enchanted!
She gets her first series of shots Thursday and her leukemia bloodtest. Assuming she does not test positive, I will repeat the scary drive on Saturday the 28th and bring her home.
The traffic in the East Bay is amazing. Even on Saturday afternoon, it's very heavy, as if it were a work-a-day commute! I give thanks that I don't have to deal with that regularly. In truth, I would get used to it, but I prefer not to!
We anticipate that Cilantro will not like Ruby and we know that we will have to supervise at all times for a couple of weeks. Juneau has been the baby, so we have no idea how she will react, but she is a gentle giant. We will, of course, supervise her also...
Saturday, August 21, 2010
I worked a long day today, longer than I intended, but it's Friday. I had a meeting with my supervising attorney and it went well. I still make rookie mistakes, but she likes the bulk of my work. Work is about to get very, very busy.
I got in over 8K steps, but I still ate too much. Too many carbs...
Tomorrow I get to go visit my new kitten. I can't take her home yet because the vet says she's too young for the first series of shots and, because I have cats, she can't be near them yet. Her caregiver is going to take her to the vet about midweek for those shots and the FIV blood test. Apparently, it takes only a few minutes to read the blood test. If she is clear with that, I get to pick her up on the 28th. She is nearly an hour away over in the East Bay, an area I don't know at all. BF is going with me, but I will still be a nervous driver. (BF can't drive because he does not have a valid license). I am a good driver when I am in familiar surroundings, but am a nervous driver otherwise.
A friend sent me a post on Facebook that struck me like lightning. My longtime friend, former boss and former coworker Sally Anderson died today. She was diabetic, battling weight and heart issues, but had been doing much better since she'd retired (at least that's what I heard). She retired and moved to Colorado and we had only recently reconnected via FB.
I have known Sally for more than 20 years. Long enough that her son was a coworker for a short time! My heart breaks for her husband and son...We all will miss her zest for life, her infectious laugh, her sharp wit. She had a love for God and music and I know she's dancing in heaven tonight. Rest in Peace, beloved Sally! If God wills it, we'll meet in heaven.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
What a rough week! Not because anything sad or bad has happened, but I can't seem to find my food equilibrium. I'm almost back to eating whatever and whenever and how much ever....UGH!
It started with the migraine nausea and eating carbs to try to solve the nausea. Now it's just me making poor choices and not caring. Or at least saying I don't care. Stepping on the scale is not going to be fun.
Thursday, August 19, 2010
Another day of too many calories...UGH!
Over 7K steps and 8 glasses of water - progress
I did not get to take a walk at lunch today. That was because today was the at-work Toastmaster club meeting. This meeting was the Evaluation Contest. I entered the contest partly impusively and partly because this is a skill I wish to strengthen.
There were four contestants, which I did not know until the meeting started. One is Jean-Francois with a lovely French accent. Another is Erfan and I think he is from Iraq and the other is Bryan from Santa Cruz, California! All coworkers.
The test speaker was a visitor, someone none of us knew. He is the local Area Governor for Toastmasters. We all had to evaluate the same speech. We were given 5 minutes after the speech to write our comments and then, one by one, give our evaluation. The rest of the members voted to determine the winner.
I was picked first to go, which made me nervous.
Erfan's evaluation was very technical and he criticized some of the content. Bryan's was his usual effervescent style, but he lost track of what he was saying towards the end and repeated himself. Jean-Francois' evaluation covered content and delivery. I thought his was great!
But the audience voted for me! I have never won a club level contest. I was absolutely stunned! I have asked the Education VP if I may do speech evaluations between now and the Area contest. (It has not been set up yet, or at least not communicated to my club.)
Last month, I helped our senior attorney with production of documents in response to a subpoena. That was really a fun project! Today, I came in to find a box on my desk, addressed to me, from somewhere in Texas. I did not recognize the address or the sender but assumed it was the requesting attorney returning some of the paperwork. The attorney asked me to PDF something to the requestor, so, knowing she was coming to my desk, I thought I'd better open the box. Turns out it was not papers but pecan pie! The attorney in TX had sent two pecan pies to thank us for our work! Wow!
That presented a bit of a problem because I work for a nonprofit corporation and we are not allowed to accept anything over a nominal amount. So Norma reported the gift to our ethics officer. Because it's a perishable item, the company will put the monetary value of the gift into a special fund. Then Norma and I distributed the pies, one to the Finance Department (same floor as our offices) and to the Legal Department (our "home" department). The pies were gone in no time. There was one piece left and I had that tonight, sharing it with BF. I went to college in Arkansas and have been to a few other places in the South. This was the best pecan pie I have ever had in my life! I did not care what that did to my calorie count!
I need to break this "I don't care" cycle!
This afternoon was nearly consumed with a training session. I am learning how to create the financial records in our database for our contracts. The idea is that I will take over doing the government orders so that the other two people can focus on the other orders. What will happen is I will get drafted to help them at the end of the year because they will be busy and...I feel the avalanche coming. My trainer is my friend Yvonne. She is really looking forward to having me cover her desk, but she is also in a horrible mood right now, so that makes the training less than optimal...Ugh...
I still have the headache, but today was a lot better than yesterday!
The day ended on a nice note. A few weeks ago, when I was busy with the tribute page for Ruby, I learned that FB took the first one down because I used my primary email address to create it. FB takes down a second page with the same email address because they see it as a duplicate. We did a workaround and created a new tribute page with a different email address. I posted that solution on a message board. To my surprise, several people posted notes of appreciation afterwards. One was a lady whose sister had died suddenly. I replied to her post thanking her for the comment, but also expressing my condolences for her loss.
Her response? She friended me! How cool is that!
I emailed Ruby's widower and shared how our experience with her page is making other people have an easier time setting up their tribute pages. In some way, it seems fitting...
The countdown to my new kitten has begun! This kitten is named Ruby in honor of my friend.
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