JUNEAU2010   162,234
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Apprehensive About Tomorrow

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Tendonitis flared up again. My heel has been sore most of the week, but I thought it was manageable. Today, I am really hobbled, so no real exercise today. Just going grocery shopping was too much!

I tried on my dresses that I bought for graduation and the party. I did not remember that they are not identical patterns. They are identical prints, one in red and the other in blue. The red is a halter dress and is almost ankle length. The blue is a regular sundress with straps and the skirt falls to the calf. The red one is a bit more form fitting, but the bodice fits better on it than on the blue one. The blue one is just a tad big up top, and that, I assure you, is a novelty! Right now, I'm thinking I'll wear the red under my cap and gown for graduation day and the blue for the party.

Tomorrow is Father's Day. Dad died 02/13/2005. Some days I can handle it, others not. I am glad I have the final exam to do tomorrow. This will not a a year when father's day will be easy. But I won't drown my loss with carbs!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JAKEANDNELLIE 6/20/2010 4:21PM

    Please - post a picture of you at your graduation and/or party if at all possible! We want to celebrate those wonderful moments with you!

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CHAOTIC-KITTY 6/20/2010 11:21AM

  congrats on your graduation. :) good luck on your last exam.


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    yes when your parents are not here anymore holidays and birthdays take on a new meaning. My dad dies 1965 mom 1988. Good luck with graduation

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JHADZHIA 6/20/2010 7:08AM

    Sorry for your loss of your father. Good luck with your exam. Nonie's idea is excellent. Remember the good times you had with your father with your closest relative who is also suffering.
Iburprofen can help with tendonitis.
You are in my thought. Pulling for you to make it through this day.

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_MAOMAO_ 6/20/2010 2:10AM

  Congratulations on your graduation! Remember how proud your dad would be, too.
emoticon emoticon
I lost my Dad 5 1/2 years ago, I so understand. It's rough. I'll think about you tomorrow, and everyone else who's lost their dads.

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LIBBYFITZ 6/20/2010 2:07AM

    All the best for the graduation . Sorry about you're dad. The collage idea sounds fantastic. Look forward to seeing some graduation photos. emoticon

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NONIE_C 6/20/2010 1:34AM

    I hope you'll consider posting some pics of you in your awesome dresses. I'm so excited for you!!!!

I'm also glad that you'll be busy tomorrow, but rather than focus on the loss of your dad, why not spend some time celebrating him. Make a list of all your favorite memories, build a collage to honor him, exchange happy/funny stories about him with someone else who loved him...and keep the carbs out of sight : )

Keeping you in my thoughts

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    I hope all goes well with the grad! :)

I'm so sorry to read about the loss of your father. I'm praying for you that you'll find some comfort & that you will abstain from carb therapy.

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MUSIC66 6/20/2010 12:57AM

    all the best for your graduation .

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BEAR_GURL 6/20/2010 12:53AM

    Best wishes and know that your will be in my thoughts; hang in there and remember, you are NOT alone!



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Passage to India

Friday, June 18, 2010

After I blogged yesterday, I continued to eat and I ended up eating about 15 calories above goal. I didn't want to log them in, but I had just seen a post about being honest in the food tracker.

Today, I woke up HUNGRY! I forgot that lunch was a celebratory lunch at Passage to India, an Indian buffet. I entered everything as well as I could and discovered that I ate about two max days of calories! YIKES! One of my supervising attorneys took me out to celebrate my pending graduation. A former employee joined us which was nice but awkward.

Despite great intentions, I did not get enough sleep last night and today was terrible.

I'm glad I am not stuck in "diet" thinking or I would be hating me right now. Plus, today's blowout would be the perfect excuse to give up and continue eating.
Not this time. I get to start again tomorrow!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIBBYFITZ 6/20/2010 12:45AM

    Yes it is so easy to say "oh well i have blown it now might as well keep going", much harder to say "tomorrow is a new day!" Well done to you for being honest with you're tracking, you are accountable to you. So it helps as you can see at times there is a pattern of going off track and then hopefully you can change things. emoticon emoticon

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JHADZHIA 6/19/2010 1:03PM

    I love Indian food. Hope you did enjoy it!
You do have the right attitude. You know you blew but you didn't get into a funk. Here is to getting back on track, and working those extra calories off! You can do it!
Enjoy your weekend!

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CHAOTIC-KITTY 6/19/2010 10:22AM

  emoticon love the positive attitude about starting again today. emoticon

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QUORNDAWG 6/19/2010 1:09AM

    not sure how this double-posted... emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/19/2010 1:10:58 AM

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QUORNDAWG 6/19/2010 1:09AM

    Ooooooooooooooooooh. Love Indian food. If I have it it's on Saturday. After my weigh in. Give me the rest of the week to recover.

Naan is my biggest downfall there.

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LUNADRAGON 6/19/2010 1:04AM

    Isn't it a blessing that each day provides a new beginning. You can forgive yourself and get back on track. And enjoy the fact that you got to enjoy a scrumptious dinner with great company, and celebrate your graduation!

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MICHELLENRGZED 6/19/2010 12:53AM

    That's right! "Tomorrow's fresh with no mistakes in it yet" - "Anne Of Green Gables."

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Sleep is the Key

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I stayed within range for most nutritional metrics, did not walk as much as I thought I would.

It was a sluggish day. The day dragged on and I was TIRED.

I am discovering that sleep really is more important than the way I live it.


Tonight, to bed earlier and tomorrow should be more productive!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TIBURONA 6/18/2010 3:17PM

    Lack of sleep wrecks havoc your hunger and stress hormones. Couple that with the fatigue from not resting and one sets themselves up for some less mentally & physically productive days.

Beyond nutritional and exercise metrics, quality sleep is one key to a healthful lifestyle. Be sure to get some every night.


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CHAOTIC-KITTY 6/18/2010 1:07PM

  need to zzzz a lot to have great days. ;) i try to get 7 each night... but, usually end up with 6. zzzzz. hopefully you got enough sleep to make friday a great day for you! :)

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SSCHULTZ59 6/18/2010 11:54AM

    NaNight.. sweet dreams.. emoticon emoticon

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MOM2PACO 6/18/2010 11:44AM

    Sleep tight! 7-8 hours hopefully!

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JHADZHIA 6/18/2010 7:35AM

    I know sleep is important to a healthy lifestyle. I probably wouldn't have to work quite as hard as I do at maintaining if I could only ever get a good night's sleep. 3-4 every day just doesn't cut it. It sure made it slow for me to lose weight in the first place as well.
I hope you can get a good sleep. Sweet Dreams!

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ROX2013 6/18/2010 1:19AM

    emoticon Sleep of 7 hrs or more is what I am finding I can't live without! Sleep tight!

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VICD25 6/17/2010 11:20PM

    Nighty Night!

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DJ4HEALTH 6/17/2010 11:15PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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NISA-JOE 6/17/2010 10:35PM

    Sleep well! emoticon

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So Thankful to Be Home!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

I was hungry most of the day and ended up at the top of almost all nutritional metrics, but not over in anything...

I had some short walks during the day and the usual lots of walking at school. I will have to make some deliberate choices with school ending in order to keep moving! I ended up with just over 11K steps...

It was so hot at class that we were all sleepy. The judge cut the lecture short and that meant that I was driving home much earlier than usual. The sun was at the wrong angle. I COULD NOT see the road for large chunks. I probably should have pulled over, gone and had a coffee or something, even gone for a walk, but I had gone a different way and I don't know the area well. So I crept, slowly, praying. Made it home, but I will plan it better for next week!

Ironic that this last class has included negligence and there I was risking negligent driving. UGH! Not smart.

I am so thankful that nothing horrible happened and I am home! My eyes feel burned (even with my HD sunglasses, it was super intense!). No one got hurt, no property damage...Thank you, Lord!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHARLOTTE1947 6/17/2010 5:50PM

    I know what you mean about that low sun on the horizon. We've all tempted fate in that way.

11k steps??!! That's fantastic! Keep it up!

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    Glad that you made it home OK! emoticon

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LIBBYFITZ 6/17/2010 11:22AM


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JAKEANDNELLIE 6/17/2010 10:08AM

    I'm glad you made it home safely!
You've had a hard week, but your classes are over now and you can relax a little bit.

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CHAOTIC-KITTY 6/17/2010 8:55AM

  good to hear that you made it home okay!!

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JHADZHIA 6/17/2010 7:41AM

    Wow, that is scary! Pulling over would have been a good idea. glad you made it safely home. Lesson learned, I trust. Its amazing how much walking you are getting in at school, it will be the challenge to keep that up for sure. So you will have to plan for it now. Maybe you can go for walks before breakfast, lunch and dinner to break it up and set up a regular pattern for you to follow..
Hope your day is better today!

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ROX2013 6/17/2010 12:53AM

    Glad you made it home ok! I dislike driving early in the morning when the sun is coming up because it makes it so hard to see. Have a good Thursday!!

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MUSIC66 6/17/2010 12:29AM

    sounds like you had a hard day.

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I Survived, So Far

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Thank you, SparkFriends, for your support! I posted a status note this morning that I was feeling on edge. That was because of the stuff at work. I really appreciate the support my SP community has given me.

I had the follow up meeting with the attorney today. This afternoon, she was all gentleness and professionalism, as if a light switch had been turned. I still feel as if the other shoe will drop. When I first asked for help on this issue months ago, her boss who used to be my boss, told me to see her. She kept putting me off. It started in February. We talked yesterday and she told me to do two things and that she was going to talk to outside counsel. Today it turns out what she meant was, since she was going to talk to outside counsel, I should hold off on those two things. ARGH. So not only did she talk to outside counsel, after we had our meeting this afternoon, she talked to our CFO. Steve is a wonderful guy and he came and asked me for the background on the situation. I really appreciated his very low key and practical approach!

The ultimate deal is, I think they are going to do what I suggested 2 years ago. That suggestion fell on deaf ears. I am not an attorney, I am very low on the hierarchy so of course it was not noted.

But I still get to deal with the fallout. The VP of Legal is the mercurial one and I do not want to get called into his office for another "coachable moment", especially since he does not investigate first and, in this snafu, I don't think I am in the wrong. We shall see...

I did not quite get my steps in today - I would have had I walked at lunch. But I thought I would want to walk after the meeting (midafternoon). But I was tasked with a ton of stuff, almost as if the attorney decided to clear some items off her to do list. I should not complain, I am glad to be busy, to be working, but I would dearly like to feel appreciated!

Food was within range except for low in calcium. I felt like chowing down, stuffing my face. Part of it is the stress and part is the threatened TOM. That may also contribute to the stress over the last two days at work. If so, it will pass! I am less afraid of being fired, but I am very worried about the office politics. I am already isolated from the rest of my team (both by reassignment and by proxmity or lack thereof). This situation could easily become even more untenable.

To answer a comment on a blog from a few weeks or days ago - I am taking the advice and backing down on everything I can just to get through the next 3 weeks. Tomorrow night is my last class lecture. We will take home the final
and turn that in next week (the 23rd). Graduation is the 26th and my party is July 7. Yesterday, several people made a comment about how skinny I am getting. That surprises me because I have not lost that much and I have so far to go, but it was nice to hear.

One person who commented is my good friend Yvonne. She has been gaining weight, partly because she is unhappy and partly because she is on steroids. She is not ready to embark on a journey such as I am, so all I can do is live the example.

The day ends with the sad news that a young former coworker has died. He was 24 and we worked together at a car dealership (I worked there part time for 15 years until the end of October last year). I don't know what happened, but he was only 26. Rest in peace, young Ray!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

VICD25 6/16/2010 12:37PM

    Sorry re: co-worker. But way to handle your stress without a feeding frenzy. You've come a long way, baby!!


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SSCHULTZ59 6/16/2010 9:29AM

    Sorry for the loss of your friend.
Work Politics are just that.. WORK...
keep your head up and a smile on your face.. stand your ground with a smile.. it makes the others feel uncomfortable, when you are in control and not afraid.
never worry about the fall out.. if some thing happens the job was not meant to be... as god closes doors new ones open, dont be afraid of things you cannot change. he will open doors for you.

Best of Luck..

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LIBBYFITZ 6/16/2010 9:05AM

    How sad about Ray. Work poitics can be very mentally taxing. hope it all starts to get resolved soon. emoticon

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ROX2013 6/16/2010 1:42AM

    SNAFUs are a nightmare if you are the messenger! Office politics just make it more stressful. Sounds like they are starting to listen to you. I know how being the low man on the totem pole feels. I had a boss that was considerably younger than me and when I would say CSRs should document customer instructions in writing he said that it was unneccssary and just slowed the process down, well to make a long story short it ended costing the company 10,000 of thousands of dollars because the client said one thing and realized after the job was done that it wasn't what they wanted. He did start to listen to my ideas somewhat after that but I decided that it wasn't worth the stress any longer and moved to TN. Hang in there!! Good luck on your final!!! emoticon

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MOMMA_BEAR_69 6/16/2010 12:59AM

    So sorry about the loss of your former co-worker...so very young. Rest in peace Ray!! You will be missed...Prayers for you, his friends and family.
Praying for you that the stress level will be tolerable.

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MELLYBEANS0919 6/16/2010 12:27AM

    Sorry to hear your co-worker passed away. That is very sad. RIP.

I know firsthand how stressful work can be. I hope your situation improves!

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