JUNEAU2010   158,716
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I Didn't Blog Yesterday

Wednesday, June 02, 2010

I had nothing to say, profound or otherwise, so I skipped blogging, knowing I was leaving points on the table.

I did not feel wonderful, not bad, just not good. I ended up eating a lot of carbos- that's the only thing that helps when my stomach hurts like that for no real reason. Today was like that as well. I cut short my walk today. But I made it through the day. Having instant mashed potatos tonight. I am sure I'll be back on track tomorrow...More than likely over on carbs and calories. I did not feel like eating for about 3 days and, since starting SP have had fewer than 5 days going over, so I am not going to beat myself up about it.

I hope so! I am tired of behaving like a couch potato!

The stomach issues are probably due to nerves, albeit unacknowledged. I am dreading Friday through Sunday as I do the prep for my colonoscopy....ugh!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:


    Hang in there, good luck with everything and keep us posted. Don't beat yourself up. It's nerves. Everything will be fine, trust me!

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MEGANC1988 6/2/2010 10:49AM

    I hope your stomach issues clear up, that's always stressful when you're trying to lose weight but you're having stomach pain!

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JAKEANDNELLIE 6/2/2010 10:19AM

    You're nervous about the procedure and I definitely understand your feelings. You will be fine - it's the worry making you exhausted. Your health is important and you are doing exactly what you should be doing!
Every day is not the perfect day we wish it could be. Don't worry about a few days over your range - your making progress!
Stay positive,

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GERPAT 6/2/2010 9:10AM

    I hope you feel better soon, take care of your health and do what you can.....

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CHAOTIC-KITTY 6/2/2010 8:07AM

  I agree with your other comments :) .. Health comes first. You will get back on track. Just take care of yourself .. love yourself... and the other things will fall into place.


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LIBBYFITZ 6/2/2010 5:47AM


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JHADZHIA 6/2/2010 1:35AM

    I find when my stomach gets pretty upset, and I got the runs that won't quit, a good plate of pasta settles me right down. That has been my natural remedy, maybe not good for my waistline, but I enjoy it anyway! Instead of eating the whole package like I used to, I now portion it out, by adding lots of veggies. That healthy lifestyle just kicks in and tries to keep me from being too stupid.
You have done very well with your program if you have only gone over five times since you started! I am not going to say how much I have gone over, I can't count that high lol! Its a good thing I love exercise is all I can say!
Keep up the great work! Slow and steady!!
Concerned about your upcoming colonoscopy. Won't rest easy until its over successfully with good results!
Sleep well friend!

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NISA-JOE 6/2/2010 1:24AM

    You can do it, June... hang in there! Remember, your health comes first. Keep us posted on how the colonoscopy went.

emoticon emoticon

Comment edited on: 6/2/2010 1:29:36 AM

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ROX2013 6/2/2010 12:26AM

    Hang in there! I got sick Sunday and lived on thin sliced bagels till today...sometimes the simpliest foods are the best. Don't worry about you colonscopy prep it will be over pretty fast.

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Monday, May 31, 2010

Thank you, Spark Friends, for your encouragement! Today was more on target than yesterday...

I got a short walk in today. I am SORE from it, but it was ok. I was at a large open shopping center. I walked all over instead of driving. At one point, I very nearly tripped over a crack in the sidewalk as I got close to the traffic light. I am sure I looked really funny with arms flailing as I avoided falling. What the drivers waiting for the light to change could not know is that, pre-Spark, I would have done a face plant! My balance is improving!

So I am 2 more miles closer to Eureka on my virtual journey!

I am still under in nutrition, but I refuse to eat just to eat. I am pretty close to minimum in calories, low in carbs, fat and calcium as usual.

The scale showed I did not gain and I did not lose this week. My body says I've lost just by the way it feels and acts. I've mentioned before that, when I lose weight, I can feel the change in my center of balance every 5, 7 or 10 pounds. it makes me a bit off balance for a few days. Then it readjusts and I am fine until I get to another point.

Lunch at Chilis with my school friend was nice. The visit was great, the food was edible. I carefully ordered some grilled chicken with black beans and rice. The black beans and rice tasted better than the chicken! My friend is looking for work and quite stressed. I told her about SparkPeople when I started and we talked about it briefly. She has gained about as much as I have lost, but acknowledges she can't really cope with her weight issues until she lands a paying job. She is doing an internship (no pay) with the county DA's office, but there is no chance that she'll get hired because, like the state, the county is not hiring.

I colored my hair this morning and don't like it. I chose a color a couple of shades darker than usual. I had to hide the white/grey! I'll get used to it. I will have to color it again before graduation even though that's just a month away. We'll see what I find on sale closer to that date. I still need to get it cut, but think I'll do that after midmonth payday.

The day started after a glorious 8+ hours of sleep and I should head to bed so that tomorrow can start the same way! I have a paper to write and tributes to pay to honor those who have served, thank those who are serving and give thanks that my brother is home safely!

Some day, I will make it to Arlington to pay my respects to Frank L. Toner III. He was killed in Afghanistan 03/28/09. He was my brother's roommate and coworker. Our families are forever joined by this loss. RIP Frankie! May God comfort his parents, siblings, family and widow...and his service buddies who saw this happen.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARRAND 6/1/2010 8:08PM

    emoticon emoticon

Take care.

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CHAOTIC-KITTY 6/1/2010 10:13AM

  Congrats on getting 8 hours of sleep. :) Sounds like you had a great lunch with your school friend. Greatness on listening to your body. :)

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JHADZHIA 5/31/2010 9:13PM

    Great job on listening to your body! Glad you avoided that fall! I cringe when I hear people with RA falling or near falling, consequences can be so bad!!
I am forever grateful for those who gave their lives so that we may have freedom, both in the US and here in Canada.

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UNIBOK 5/31/2010 9:04AM

    I love the way your body tells you different things than the scale does, and that you are smart enough to listen to what your body tells you!

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CHARANN3 5/31/2010 7:15AM


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LIBBYFITZ 5/31/2010 4:06AM


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Didn't Move, Didn't Eat Today But I am OK

Sunday, May 30, 2010

I did not exercise a whit today. I just didn't feel like it.

I also did not eat much. I felt really hungry early in the day, but did not give in. I am ending the day without eating more than about 600 calories. I feel fine, just not like eating or moving.

I should have gone to the high school graduation for a friend's daughter, but I did not feel like driving that far. I sent the graduate a check earlier in the week.

I have been staying up too late, avoiding sleep because the my first waking thoughts are of Charlotte's children and other unsettling thoughts.

I did do some of my homework today, but that is the only productive thing I did all day.

I'm supposed to have lunch with a fellow paralegal student tomorrow. A third was going to join us, but cancelled. She sent an email later saying she'd discovered her husband had been unfaithful and her world has just fallen apart. I kept waiting for a "just kidding" note (she does tease), but none was forthcoming. I can't wrap my head and heart around this.

I know what I need to do, but I can't seem to find any motivation! BLEH!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHAOTIC-KITTY 5/30/2010 11:47AM

  GIRLIE!!! 600 calories in a day is NO good. You don't need ME to tell you that! If you want to lose weight, eating 600 calories in a day will not help you out at all. :( It's not healthy *OR* safe to be only eating 600 calories. Don't starve yourself. I don't want you getting sick or weak. :(

You have a lot on your plate right now. What do you do to relax? You need to find something to do to escape from the stresses in your life. Do you have a consellor at work you could possibly talk to about your feelings about your co-worker dying? Because you thinking about Charlotte a lot is keeping you from sleeping.. and, that is not good! You need to talk about your feelings to someone in person.

*big* emoticon

I worry about you... you are such a sweet person... and you've been there a LOT for me since the start of my journey. I hope you *DO* know that I do care about you!!

Love ya! xx

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LIBBYFITZ 5/30/2010 10:27AM

    It must be hard as you are feeling pain for the people around you who are hurting. Please eat more 600 calories is not enough. Do you like almonds? They are agood source of healthy fat and will boost you're calorie count. what about a fruit smoothie?

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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VICD25 5/30/2010 7:50AM

    I feel for you. It's awful being awakened by your own internal thoughts. BUT that said, control what you can control and do not ruminate on those you cannot.

It's easy for me to say, but I think I sleep better if I've had at least some exercise, especially if I got outside. I'm not talking about 1 hour on the treadmill. I mean 5 min. outside in the sun.

As your other friends have added, take CARE of yourself. Don't let yourself spiral down. .


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NISA-JOE 5/30/2010 2:35AM

    Your health is what's important. I hope you feel much better tomorrow. Please take care of yourself.

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SHMILY928 5/30/2010 12:36AM

    Take it one day at a time. Try to at least get in your minimum calories tomorrow and aim for a 10 minute walk.


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FRIENDOFBACH 5/30/2010 12:13AM

  600 calories is too little, you need to eat a reasonable amount or your metabolism will change and you will find it really hard to lose weight. Also, calories that low can do physical damage if you do it over a period of time.

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Charlotte, Average Day and Jury Duty Thoughts

Saturday, May 29, 2010

I have to figure out how to better cope with loss. I am still really rattled by Charlotte's sudden death last week, even though I hardly knew her. I have trouble sleeping and I wake up finding myself thinking about the needless death and the permanent loss for her children.

With that on my mind, the pollen in the air and the fact that I was very active earlier this week, I started having shooting pains in my right arm and shoulder. I came home early to get my BF, intending to go to Kaiser. He was not home and I had mislaid my cellphone earlier this week (part of that distraction), so I was stuck until he got home (we no longer have a landline - cost saving).

When he got home, he gave me my phone (he had found it and charged it). I called the advice nurse and, in talking with her, we realized I was not having a serious problem, that the pain was probably from my carrying boxes, moving files earlier in the week. I had completely forgotten about that! Too much going on.

Glad it was not serious, glad I did not have to spend the bulk of the afternoon at Kaiser. I am not one to go to doctors or anything often, but, knowing that Charlotte had some undiagnosed heart issues but knew something was wrong and did not go to the doctor. I am older than she is and, even though I don't have children, there are nieces and nephews. I must take care of myself in order to enjoy their lives. In my new SP lifestyle, taking care of myself includes paying attention and doing things I don't really want to do (such as go to the doctor).

Very often, I skip medical and dental stuff because of cost. Even though I have insurance, I sometimes can't or don't want to spend the money on the copays. The dental coverage is almost useless. I am working towards finding the self worth to take the time off from work and pay to go....sigh.

I came home to find I have to report for jury duty again. There are I don't know how many people who live in this county. I have lived in this county since the end of 1986 and I get summoned every year! I have never been chosen, but I still have to go through the game. Don't get me wrong. I am about to be a paralegal, so I love the law. I am interested in the process. But, what I have experienced has been inefficient use of time, dead time and needless disruption to my routine. The other thing is that I live at the extreme southern end of the county, less than a block to the county line, and I usually get summoned to the farthest distant court at the other end of the county. The county does not pay for the first day and they pay something like $5 per day after that. The money is not the point. I resent the time and the gas that it takes, though I might feel differently if I ever got chosen for a jury.

In California, they crossreference the voter rolls and the DMV lists and it's from those that they choose the jury pools. By statute, I can be called every 12 months. For years, I have received summons almost exactly to the day! And I know lots of people who have never been summoned!

Not much walking today, something over 5K. I got another mile closer on my virtual journey. I am ending the day within range nutritionally except 1 gram low in fat and a bit low in calcium again...Got in the water and feeling pretty good. I know I need to do more exercise...

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHAOTIC-KITTY 5/30/2010 11:36AM

  *big* emoticon. its good to hear that your pain wasn't more serious. but you really do need to take better care of yourself girlie. ;) (i know you know that.. i just like buggin' ya about it!) *giggle* ;)

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JLITT62 5/29/2010 10:00AM

    I hear you on the jury duty.

God, I hated being called up for it every 3 years like clockwork when I lived in TX -- and I was always chosen, too (altho only had to actually sit in judgement once).

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Glad to hear it was not serious and no Dr. visits were involved. I hear you on the uselessness of dental coverage. I wonder if you can cancel it? I couldn't, and pay $700 a year for..... $1000 worth of coverage, much of which isn't covered. Pretty glad that I am getting laid off, and can go have 'poor people's' care at Tufts University! That rocks!

Hang in there!

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KAKIPOPUP 5/29/2010 5:44AM

    And more emoticon

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LIBBYFITZ 5/29/2010 5:00AM


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Turtle Progress

Friday, May 28, 2010

Virtual journey update: 60.3 miles from Eureka. I did not walk a lot today (just over 8K steps), but this is a good thing. I have been able to walk every day this week! Sure I have been sore and stiff, but neither was a deal breaker. This is real progress, albeit very slow progress...!

Now if I could replicate that with strength training and something a bit more aerobic. In time.

I was hungry off and on today, but stayed within range except for my usual low in fat and low in calcium...

Today was a good day at work, for the most part. A very productive day! The sad part was saying goodby to a wonderful student. She is leaving the company. She graduates tomorrow, even though she has to take 2 or 3 hard classes this summer. She figures she cannot work through the summer and take the classes. She does not yet have another job, so that hurts for her. She is having to move, too. She's a very bright industrious young woman and will do well wherever she goes....My company's loss and a personal loss for me.

It was a week ago today that my coworker died and I keep thinking about her and the loss her passing represents. She did have unrecognized symptoms of heart problems. It's just such a shame! I take it as a lesson to be more vigilant of my health. Not looking forward to the colonoscopy early next month, but I for sure won't skip it. It would be hypocritic for me to do so after I tell friends to take care of themselves! And, fundamentally, it is the desire for health and quality of life that brought me to SP.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIBBYFITZ 5/28/2010 11:00AM

    Well done to keep moving. I have had a colonoscopy, and not as bad as it sounds, you are in a very relaxed state of mind during the procedure. Very sad about you're co-worker. emoticon

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CARRAND 5/28/2010 10:10AM

    Good for you for taking care of yourself. The walking is awesome! The colonoscopy won't be bad. They give you good drugs so you don't even remember it afterwards.

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PENNEYV 5/28/2010 8:23AM

    Great job. Slow and steady get it done! emoticon

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NISA-JOE 5/28/2010 3:01AM

    Great job with the walking! Turtle progress is still progress and that is what matters. emoticon

I'm sorry about your losses. It is refreshing to see that you are taking it all in a positive way. All the best!

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TUDI4480 5/28/2010 12:21AM

    It sounds like there's a lot going on in your life now...lots of unexpected losses. That can be tough. But, good for you that you are taking away the positives for yourself and others. It's great that you are doing your walking everyday. Keep on keeping on.

emoticon emoticon emoticon

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