Sunday, May 16, 2010
Today was a day of blessing. This was not because of anything to do with my SparkPeople journey. As far as the journey goes, a mixed bag. I had a walk, got in the water and ate within range, but did not eat in balance. It was all protein and carbs...I really was not hungry for most of the day.
My BF had a few good things happen today. We went to KFC and I bought one of those Susan G Komen buckets. A bit of a splurge, but definitely a good cause. Afterwards, we went for a short walk and, coming home, saw a truck sitting in front of our house with a bicycle in the bed. It was BF's bicycle! The manager was called to remove it from behind someone else's home! The manager was not sure it was ours and was going to put it in the clubhouse! Had we not been heading back right then, we would not have seen it!
I cut out some of my goals from different teams just because I need to narrow my focus. Some goals are duplicative of others. I also set up the fitness tracker for SP to tell me what to do. I am not able to do a lot, but trying to do it myself has not worked.
One of my SparkFriends has a virtual journey and uses a map to track her "travel" from home to her destination. I decided to do the same thing, but, because I need short term success, decided I'm going to travel the US a small bit at a time. My first stop is 255 miles from home in Eureka, CA. I hope to reach there by my real party in July. From there, I'll head to Seattle and.......off I go! I hope that I can sustain the energy.
Friday, May 14, 2010
All week long, I'd been hearing about the MoGo BBQ truck that was coming to work today - sort of a Korean twist on Mexican food. I don't know why, but I never thought to calculate the food. I made what I thought was a lower calorie choice, but it was not. At my best guestimate, it finished my day. I ate at the top of my calorie range most days this week, so this was not a good way to go. It tasted good, but it was not worth it in terms of my goals. Sigh.
But I am not throwing in the towel. Tomorrow is a new day.
I woke up very stiff this morning and my weaker leg was pretty sore. That was the elliptical, but I don't blame the machine. I will keep working at it. I have a long way to go, that's for sure!
Tonight's my night to relax. Tomorrow, more time to exercise, get chores done and continue the research on my paper.
Have a great Friday, sparkfriends! I told a new spark person who is struggling that she needs to be active on the site, find a team she likes and build her community. I said that, with my community, when I think about a choice I have to make, I think about the reaction my blog comments for those choices will be. Supportive, consoling, tough love, it all helps. Most of the time, not today sadly, the thought of your response gives me time to make the better choice. I told her by being active on the site, she will see that we all struggle, we all succeed, we support and encourage each other and that's far better than going it alone.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Today was a much better day, not for any one thing, but for all of it. The morning flew by because I was dealing with tax exempt certificates. A simple task but time intensive.
Avoiding stairs is paying off. I had a couple of walks today. At lunch, I walked very briskly (I am a turtle, so it is relative!) for 38 minutes and walked farther than I have before. I broke a sweat, but not until afterwards. That was odd. For the 2nd or 3rd consecutive day, I got in over 10K steps. The other thing I did right was stretch my Achilles tendon after the walk. That felt really good AND I did not stiffen up in the afternoon!
The afternoon dragged a bit and the low point was when I saw the hire notice for the student in our Knoxville office. I knew one was coming, but it still makes me uneasy. This student is working for my boss doing there a lot of the same things I do here.
I had a bit of an energy dip in the afternoon, but, overall, what I ate today kept me from yawning my head off! I also got in the 10 glasses of water earlier in the day. I felt much more on track, even though all the concerns are still nibbling in my mind. I am back to my initial nutrition settings. We'll see how it goes.
Skipping the overtime, deferring that to tomorrow, I started doing some prep work for my final paper. I did not have class last night, but I went to school anyway. I always meet with one of my prior teachers who is becoming a mentor. He's encouraged me to look into becoming certified as a mediator and has offered to draft a letter of recommendation to the court. That would put extra money in my pocket! Anyway, I bounced an idea off him a week or two ago about this final paper. He remembered that and told me some news about the topic. CSR is my abbreviation for Collateral Source Rule. What that means is, in CA and other jurisdictions that have this rule, if you are the injured party in a personal injury case (the plaintiff), the defendant does not get to benefit by your fiscal responsibility. The defendant doesn't get to pay less just because you have insurance or other "collateral" sources that reimburse you for your expenses incurred by the injury. Today, I had a chance to look into the news he shared and it gave me a new slant for my paper! I am so excited! I am sure no one else will take this angle on the topic!
I mentioned to a coworker that I had checked out the elliptical and she told me another lady uses it just about every day. I used to sit next to Janis, so I felt comfortable asking her about the elliptical. We have two in our tiny work gym. One, she said, is broken and the other might be. So she went with me and got on the one I had used. Then I felt so silly! Turns out I had not been using it right! It has these long handles and little tiny curved ones. I had been using the large handles! Janis said those are for guys! Janis is even smaller than I am, she's a few inches shorter and probably 10 pounds smaller than I will be when I reach my goal. The other thing I saw was that I had been going backwards! That is the movement it makes when you are setting it up, so I had no clue! Boy, did I feel silly! My result today = my 3rd time on the elliptical: 135 seconds and my legs did not feel so rubbery and I did not feel dizzy! But I am so out of shape! All I can do is improve! I really liked it!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
I knocked a little off my calorie range yesterday because I don't think I am exercising enough to lose tonnage and I just can't do more right now. I had not forgotten that I had increased the range a few weeks ago because I was beyond tired throughout the day. Stupidly, I did not expect that crushing fatigue to return but it has. I spent all day so hungry and so sleepy.
But I am still euphoric! Yesterday, I mentioned my sister and her family are moving to a better home that will have heat for the children and no psycho landlord. Her stepfather does not have prostrate cancer. Then, today, I got to see a really good friend/coworker. He works in our Charlotte NC office but was in town for a meeting. He had a heart attack a little over a year ago. A young man, younger than I am, but bad genes and poor choices put him in that spot. Just barely recovered from that and he was diagnosed with leukemia. He looks great now! His heart is doing well, he is in remission and faces another couple of years of chemo.
Giving him a hug today was absolutely soul satisfying!
Kind of puts my tonnage battle in a different perspective...!
Thinking about changing jobs. Everything I read in SP and elsewhere speaks about doing work that is rewarding. I am GRATEFUL to have a job, I love the company where I work, but I do not like my job. It has taken me a while to recognize that. I am thinking about looking for work with the federal government. I know it takes a long time to get on board, but the thought is there.
About to be a paralegal, but I know I don't want to work in a law firm. I like working in a law department of a corporation.
Still thinking...Still trying to figure out balance in terms of nutrition, exercise and......everything. I'm not sure where I should be in terms of calories and the other metrics.
Tuesday, May 11, 2010
So much to say today! First off, THANK YOU SparkFriends! Your comments in response to my blogs, on my page and on message boards gave me a thread to hang on until I could start to change the channel. I would not still be on SparkPeople without you! That is not to say I am fragile - but I was blindsided by the intensity of what was going on and just swirling mentally for a while.
When I was a child, because of the history, when I went to live with Dad at 13, I was about 6 years old in terms of maturity and have been trying to catch up ever since. Dad sent me to a girls' boarding school (the best thing he could have done) and my social deficiencies were glaring. One of my coping mechanisms actually turns out to be positive: Act as if until it is. I have done this for years for other reasons. I would act confident until one day I realized I felt confident. I spoke with compassion until my heart became genuine (think the Grinch - my heart was really small!). I had to attend a webinar during lunchtime today, so I took a few short walks. During the first one, I decided to act as if I am successful at this journey until I really am.
Acting as if means I do not have permission to go back to the don't move if you can help it lifestyle. It means I will continue tracking my food, exercising to the best of my ability and adjusting that when my body tells me I need to. It means consciously putting myself first in some circumstances. It may sound strange, but just making that decision was liberating. The sun was out, gorgeous blue sky and very cool. Absolutely delightful! My mood lifted!
I've tested it out and decided that last week's plan of 7K steps one day and 12K steps the next is too much. This week, I am aiming for 10K steps every day and avoiding stairs. Yesterday I got 10193. My pedometer dumped steps today, but I have over 6K before the glitch happened. (It changes time every once in a while, so it starts a new day somewhere in the middle of the current day. Usually I catch it, but I did not today.)
A little bit of strength training and stretching during the day. I consciously got up from the computer and walked around today. That improved my stress level slightly. Then I stepped on the elliptical again. My first time was a week or so ago and I lasted 45 seconds. Totally rubber legs! Today was not much different except that I lasted about 75 seconds! I really like the elliptical. Me! I like some kind of exercise! It's terrible that I can hardly do it, but....I will improve every time I do it! How cool is that! It's kind of like getting Spark points for doing different things - I love the positive feedback!
At the same time, I'm discovering weird things with my body and mind. I think I am going to attribute them to a reaction to everything. (one of them is suddenly forgetting passwords). Losing my mental prowess is my biggest fear. If this continues, I'll go see my doctor.......bleh
But there is good news! GREAT news! Good news: my sister found a new home to rent and will soon be out of a tenuous situation! She moves about June 15. The same amount of rent and a bigger place and a sane landlord! I am so happy1
But what really is the GREAT news is that her stepfather DOES NOT, DOES NOT, DOES NOT have prostate cancer! I just got both calls and am over the moon with my ecstatic reaction! Dad died from prostate cancer that metastisized to bone cancer and my older cousin has prostate cancer, so to hear that Larry might have it made the family just reel!
I could not end on a more positive note than that!
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