Monday, April 26, 2010
Obviously, 10K steps every day is too much for me. Scaling back. I will aim for 7K and be happy with 5K on my less active days. I expect there will be several days a week when I hit 10K or come very close. But I will work towards 10K a day. I am very sore, but less so than I expected.
I ended the day within range nutritionally speaking except for low calcium and, not within range, but at the top of the calorie mark to the very calorie! I have not done that before!
I had decided yesterday that I was going to do things differently so that I could get the scale to move down. I ate a Kashi bar for breakfast. I like them, but a meal they do not make. I got hungry earlier than I wanted and, following that, was the crushing fatigue. It was not a great day at work from that standpoint.
Does this mean I have to choose between losing tonnage and having enough energy to function? No, it means I need to make some adjustments. Among other things, this is an educational journey.
I was relieved and horrified at the same time to see that several of my sparkfriends shared my exposure to a pseudosparkfriend's spam. I was spammed on Saturday and, today, the comment is gone. I was not going to mention this so as not to give credence to this person, but, the tone of the messages was so different, so upsetting that I felt the need to comment in case any other SparkFriend has been as hurt as I was and thinks it was their fault.
I could not find the offending page, so I put a message on the site help message board.
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Thanks to all who commented on yesterday's blog!
I am not sure if I lost even an ounce or stayed the same as last week. Either way, the fact that I did not gain is a real win!
Today was a much different day! This morning, I saw a blog from Anne1123 who said she was going to work on getting 10K steps this week. I commented that I would join her in the challenge because I needed something to get me going again.
I took a walk today. Instead of turning right and walking to the small shopping center, I turned left out of the park and walked to the post office. 1373 steps. Sip of water. Inventory: nope, no pain, no fatigue. I can go on. Up to the main street that provides access to the freeway. Getting warm. The breeze and the occasional shade is very appreciated. Something over 3700 steps. I have not gone halfway yet. I planned to cross and keep going in the same direction, but there is not much shade. Turning right would have me walk over the freeway and into another city. I turned left, heading in a direction I have seldom driven and never walked.
I had thought about taking a nature trail, but I was alone and I know that nature trail is not well used. I stuck to the sidewalk next to a heavily traveled road. Cellphone, ID, water bottle and pedometer - I was prepared.
I was pleasantly surprised to find a path for most of the distance. When it gave out, I had walked past the driving range and was near the small planes airport. There was no way to safely cross the busy street. About 4300 steps, not halfway.
I made a loop out of the airport parking lot and headed back the way I'd come. The path was made uneven because of tree roots - lots of opportunities to fall. I did stumble a few times, but no fall. Yay! Getting stronger!
Shortly after I was headed back, I heard a lot of sirens and soon saw two fire engines turning down the street off of which I live. I called BF and there was no answer. Yes, I was concerned, but there was nothing I could do until I got there. I live in a mobile home park with a lot of senior citizens, so the emergency crews often come.
As I turned the corner, I saw that the freeway and my street were both very backed up. "God be with the rescuers." I thought. Obviously a car accident, but I could not tell if it was on the freeway, on the access ramp or on my street.
I walked through some more corporate parking lots to add some steps. Two firms have water fountains and shaded walkways, nice oases for their employees. It would be wonderful to work within walking distance of home (and make more money!).
Closer to home, I could see that the accident had occurred just as the access ramp met the freeway. My street was blocked by emergency vehicles so they could cut through the fence to get to the victims. It was weird walking faster than the cars on the street! I saw some victims on the sidewalk ahead. They looked fine, if shaken up. One was talking with someone on the cellphone telling them she was waiting for a tow truck for her car. So glad they were ok!
I was drenched in sweat by the time I got home.
My wonderful pedometer said I logged 10,516! This does not include steps around the house...!
Even with SPF 70 sunscreen, my face was pretty pink! I took a cooling shower and ate some carbs and protein. My feet are a bit sore. I don't know if I'll be able to do 10K tomorrow, but I sure feel great today! It felt really good to break from the slug mode I've been in for a few days!
Thanks, Anne1123 for sharing your challenge! I got off the dime! See, Sparkfriends, good or bad, what you share can help someone else! Woo Hoo!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
Absolutely no energy today despite intentions and lovely weather. Mr. Scale is not likely to be charitable tomorrow morning and neither will his partner, Ms. Tape-Measure. Just her name alone gives her airs beyond her station.
Whatever they say will not deter me. This is just an interlude and it will end soon.
The best thing is I am not using this day as an excuse not to stick with the water and food and logging.
I am grateful for SparkPeople, SP Friends and the fact that one day does not determine the verdict on my journey.
Friday, April 23, 2010
I won! I won! I won! No, not the lottery, not a tangible prize. What I won was the day. I felt like a slug all day. Turns out TOM is here (whew, the suspense is over) and it's as if I've timewarped back to early teen years when TOM first visited. Suffice to say I have been uncomfortable and out of sorts all day. Meaningful exercise was not possible.
During clean up, inexplicably, I opened a box of Nabisco chocolate Teddy Grahams. I've never had those before. Wow, are they small! I had six (serving size is 24). I fantasized about eating the whole box this evening.
Thank goodness I brought broccoli today and have salad dressing in the fridge at work! The lunch was free, but it was not filling and somewhat neutral nutritionally speaking. I had half of a turkey sandwich, a pile of mixed greens that passed for salad, bypassed the dressings and got my Salad Spritzer (Caesar).
Then I had a big bowl of broccoli. I was not tempted by the cookies or the other less healthy sandwiches.
Later in the afternoon, I went to another department and saw that they had doughnuts. For a few seconds, I was tempted. But, my self talk spoke loudly and clearly in my head: I have worked too hard to get where I am and I really want to reach my goal.
I ended the day feeling hungry, but having eaten within range.
More importantly, my attitude did not deteriorate. I would not say that I have completely hit the reset button from this morning, but I am not losing ground nor staying there. Yes, I am frustrated that I am not losing weight and inches as I want to. I AM eating in balance, I am drinking puh-lenty of water. Exercise is still the weakest area of achievement, but I am doing more than I have in my pre-Spark life. I am making progress, slowly, so slowly, ever so slowly.
Friday, April 23, 2010
Out of curiosity, I stepped on the scale this morning. Big mistake! I am up either a pound or up 7/10ths from last Sunday. I do not feel heavier, in fact, I feel lighter. I can also see more definition in my arms and legs, feel slightly less sag in the gut.
My first reaction is to think harsh thoughts about doing a weekend cleanse, dropping down to 1200 calories a day for a week and in every way possible punish myself for being stuck with the same few ounces/pound for more than a month.
It's probably a plateau and, intellectually, I understand that I just need to stay consistent and focus long term, but the positive self talk is not penetrating the inner rage and sense of betrayal. I really thought I had moved past this!
A few moments later, I saw a hint that TOM, who's been threatening to arrive "any day now" for more than a week, may mean it. That modified my rage, but not much.
Today is a massive cleanup day at work, perfect for my anger. I should have lots of opportunity to move and focus my anger away from the language of abuse that I usually turn on my inner self.
I also feel sad because the new inner me that is on this journey does not deserve this remnant behavior from my past, but I am not sure she is strong enough yet to prevail.
I will have to do some reading about plateaus. As I tell others, knowledge is power, and from power comes ability to do something. However, I will not be on my computer much during the day, which means at least 10 hours from now before I can really make any kind of progress.
It's not that I have decided that I want to be at 110 by a certain date, but I had hoped to be at my 10% loss mark by now or certainly by the end of the month! The long term goal is untainted and I feel free to push the date out even farther than I already have, but, for the short term, I really need some success! I have been promising myself a Spark Store shopping spree (modest) when I lose that 10%, and it delays gratification to have the needle moving the wrong way!
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