Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Today started out in the same sluggish manner that the last few have. I did not feel like going to work or anything else. But...I did. Driving to work, I told myself that I would be able to get the 10K steps today because I would have class tonight. I visualized the me I want to be.
By lunchtime, without doing anything special, I had over 5K steps on the pedometer. I skipped the Toastmaster meeting, giving myself the option of walking or Sparking. The windy rain made the choice easy. While I nuked my healthy lunch (leftovers), I took a few steps back and pushed against the counter. When someone came in, I switched to the hip flexors.
School was cancelled and, much as I love class, I was relieved. Picked up BF and we went to Costco. As always, I parked a good distance away and we walked all over. I waited a very long time at the counter to have my eyeglasses tightened. While I waited, I did more wall ups, ok, counter ups against the very high counter. I am not much taller than it is high! I bet people thought I was a bit off in the head, but I did not care! I did forty while I waited, tore out my coupons from the booklet and carried on a conversation. Two people picking up contacts were waited on while I waited. My pedometer said something over 8K when we started out. The Neutrogena sun screen with a very high SPF was on sale. I bought two packages, the coupon limit. It's the only stuff I can put on my face that doesn't irritate my face. I bought two thinking that, since I am more active now (!), I'm going to use more of it! While BF ground the coffee, I did 40 calf raises.
When we got home, I saw I was still a bit shy of 10K, so we walked to Home Depot for something. I set a pretty brisk pace, but I had to sit on a bench when we got there. One leg is slightly shorter than the other, hips are dislocated (born that way), so sometimes when I walk, I get a dull ache in the lower back above the left leg. If I ignore it, everything locks up. What's discouraging is a few weeks ago, I was able to walk not only to Home Depot but all the way around the entire shopping center and home without feeling it.
Ended the day with 11867 steps. My pedometer shows more calories burned than my fitness tracker does. Some days, it's the other way around. I am going to do some more modified push ups and bridges.
Foodwise, I came scarily close to the top of my calorie range, was ok in every other metric except low in carbs, of all things. Getting this to balance is not easy! But, you know what? It's kind of fun! I don't beat myself up for not being able to do X number of Y exercise and, if I come in under on calcium, over on carbs and midrange on protein, I shrug and tell myself, I have gone as far as I can today. This is VERY different from my all or nothing, succeed or else diet attitudes! I am free (at least for today)!
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Thank you, SparkFriends, for your feedback on yesterday's blog. I am realizing that I may not be able to meet the cardio requirements every day. My body seems to need more time to rest than I want to give it. In the past, that was enough for me to stop attempting to exercise, to lose weight and get fit. Not so this time. All it means is that I need to step back and listen to my body, not in a giving up sense but in a taking the long view sense. If I want to continue moving forward, I need to do so more gently. I don't like to concede anything to my physical limitations, but, realistically, I must. I took half a day as vacation day because I realized the exhaustion was unchanged. Not sleepy, but tired physicaly and mentally. I came home, got on SP for a while and then went to sleep for about an hour and half.
I had a healthy dinner and ended the day within range except that I'm low on fat again.
I started the day feeling really stiff and sluggish, so I had decided I would aim for 5K steps. I ended up a little over 3K. The 1 Day challenge for today was to exercise upper, lower and core. I counted the steps as lower, did 10 modified pushups, lying adduction and 40 bridges. I've never done 40! I need to get more consistent on the pushups - I have done more in the past.
The funny thing was, I had just commented on another Sparkpeople blog about exercise. She said she did not feel like exercising. I said I did not either, but I wanted the reward for exercising more than I wanted to give in to that feeling. That made me get off my butt and do what I really didn't want to do. Let that be a lesson to all of us. When we share the low moments as well as the high moments, those words can help another and inspire, motivate and uplift the reader.
So, while I did not hit the treadmill (sorry, Chaotickitty, I WILL get there), today was an important one. I am slowly learning to put some priority on my needs and am admitting that a step backward to reflect, a scale back on movement - these are the tools that will help me continue moving forward. I am acutely aware that I could so easily use that as an excuse and go back to my couch potato life, but I am stronger in other ways and think that is less likely to happen.
I have my SparkFriends to help me stay on track, holding me accountable. I have more of an idea what my new lifestyle is becoming and I love the feeling after activity. All serve as incentive and motivation to keep me going forward.
Monday, April 19, 2010
I woke up, fully and suddenly just before 5:30 and did not have that "I need 30 more minutes fo sleep" feeling. I started thinking about my day, visualizing success. Success eating in balance, exercise, water and life.
After I got to work, during a break, I logged in and saw a note from Chaotickitty and NonieC. They both encouraged, uplifted and in a cyber way, carried me. I have received so much support through my Sparkfriends this week that I just cannot believe it. Support like this does not happen in my life! I don't take it for granted, either. Cyberhugs to all of you!
About a month ago, I struggled with fatigue in the office and launched a 10% experiment - raising my nutrition metrics at the upper end by 10%. No for fatigue, or at least significantly reduced. But, not much movement on the scale.
After last week's weird weight gain and loss, I decided to knock it down by 5% and see if I can nudge that scale down.
At the same time, I also know I need to move more. I told Chaotickitty that I would get on the treadmill and do each step in honor of her because she inspires me so much. I had that intention, but life intervened. After running errands and having accumulated over 11K steps, I was done. Fried. Exhausted mentally and physically. I did some strength training, but not a great deal.
I feel like crying, not for myself, but for others. I read a blog today by someone who is really, really going through some of the ugliness that life can bring. My heart breaks for her. My youngest sister, the one I am the closest with is having a rough time and.........on and on. I feel powerless to help anyone.
Except myself. I must keep moving forward!
Tomorrow will be better and, I hope, I can keep my word.
Sunday, April 18, 2010
I'm going to end the day under food target, on target for water and almost no exercise. I still feel absolutely run down for no particular reason.
I lost 3 lbs this week. As I told some SP friends, it's as if I relost those pounds because I am still .3 over where I was two weeks ago. Waist is smaller than last week but almost everything else is bigger.
I can tell I am sliding backwards and don't have the energy to address it. I don't feel like moving, even though I know that's what I need to do. I'm not discounting the loss, well, maybe I am....
Not in a great frame of mind, I am tired of this journey and I want to make progress. I am not giving up. But maybe I'm taking a time out.........
I am still logging in my food even though the voice in my head says I don't need to, that it doesn't count because this is not food, it is medicine to make me feel better. So far, I am not falling in that trap. I may go to bed just to avoid giving in!
Saturday, April 17, 2010
The 1 day challenge today was to get 10K steps. When I read that last night, I thought, no problem! But, it did not happen, not even close! I feel like a slug today. I jog/walked early this morning but it felt as if I were running through a wall of mud.
I went to the dollar store to look for table cloths for my party, walked all around the store and completely forgot to look for them!
Found some water bottles and will use those as prizes for the games, dovetailing with the corporate focus on well being. In fact, I'll use that angle in suggesting people bring foods that are healthy and, because there are vegetarians, that, too.
I spent a ton of money at the Grocery Outlet, but we had not been there in a couple of weeks. I was thrilled to find lowfat plain soymilk there. I blend that with 2% milk so that I can hack the flavor of soy and cut the calories of the milk. It is the kind of place where you buy it when you see it because it may not be there next time.
BF has finally warmed up to having and using the slow cooker I bought a few weeks ago. Our dinner tonight is yummy! Note to self, drink more water because it sure tasted salty.
Today is summed up with: not enough exercise, not enough accomplished, but I ended the day within nutrition range...TIRED, TIRED, TIRED.
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