JUNEAU2010   163,722
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Taking Good Advice

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Thank you, SparkFriends, for your feedback on yesterday's blog. I am realizing that I may not be able to meet the cardio requirements every day. My body seems to need more time to rest than I want to give it. In the past, that was enough for me to stop attempting to exercise, to lose weight and get fit. Not so this time. All it means is that I need to step back and listen to my body, not in a giving up sense but in a taking the long view sense. If I want to continue moving forward, I need to do so more gently. I don't like to concede anything to my physical limitations, but, realistically, I must. I took half a day as vacation day because I realized the exhaustion was unchanged. Not sleepy, but tired physicaly and mentally. I came home, got on SP for a while and then went to sleep for about an hour and half.

I had a healthy dinner and ended the day within range except that I'm low on fat again.

I started the day feeling really stiff and sluggish, so I had decided I would aim for 5K steps. I ended up a little over 3K. The 1 Day challenge for today was to exercise upper, lower and core. I counted the steps as lower, did 10 modified pushups, lying adduction and 40 bridges. I've never done 40! I need to get more consistent on the pushups - I have done more in the past.

The funny thing was, I had just commented on another Sparkpeople blog about exercise. She said she did not feel like exercising. I said I did not either, but I wanted the reward for exercising more than I wanted to give in to that feeling. That made me get off my butt and do what I really didn't want to do. Let that be a lesson to all of us. When we share the low moments as well as the high moments, those words can help another and inspire, motivate and uplift the reader.

So, while I did not hit the treadmill (sorry, Chaotickitty, I WILL get there), today was an important one. I am slowly learning to put some priority on my needs and am admitting that a step backward to reflect, a scale back on movement - these are the tools that will help me continue moving forward. I am acutely aware that I could so easily use that as an excuse and go back to my couch potato life, but I am stronger in other ways and think that is less likely to happen.

I have my SparkFriends to help me stay on track, holding me accountable. I have more of an idea what my new lifestyle is becoming and I love the feeling after activity. All serve as incentive and motivation to keep me going forward.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ISHIIGIRL 4/21/2010 2:29PM

    Sometimes all we need is to step back and be still. Listening to your body is hard, but it must be done. It will also tell you when it is ready for more. Keep up the good work! you are doig great!

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TEENY_BIKINI 4/21/2010 11:59AM

    "All it means is that I need to step back and listen to my body"

Exactly!! My gorgeous friend, your body knows all of the answers and is always right.

You are doing great.


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CHAOTIC-KITTY 4/21/2010 11:13AM

  You are doing fantastic! I have to agree with the other commenters... you have to listen to your body and if it needs rest... it needs rest... don't fight with it. :) You will do what you want as soon as it's fully rested. *patience* ;) You know what you need to do to move forward in your journey and you WILL do it. You are amazing.. and, very special. U WILL SUCCEED! We won't let you fail. ;)

emoticon emoticon

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JHADZHIA 4/21/2010 10:10AM

    Way to go!! Listening to your body is important, but so is not giving in. Whatever doesn't kill you will make you stronger. I too, love the feeling you get after exercise. Sometimes it takes some doing getting over the pain of starting it up, but once I am in it, it feels so much better!
You are going to do this thing!!

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MISSY455 4/21/2010 1:37AM

    Was just popping over to say hi and saw your blog. Very inspiring. It is amazing where we find our motivations from isn't it? I think it is very important to listen to your body and take things a little slower than maybe you would like too. Better to go slow and succeed then to burn out or injure yourself.

Sounds like you are doing an incredible job of figuring out what works for you. Keep it up and you will make the goal you have set for yourself.


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ROX2013 4/21/2010 12:00AM

    Awesome Blog!!! You have taken some big steps on your journey and the changes you have made are fantastic! Sometimes it is hard to admit that slower is better or that our bodies have their own timetable. And being able to see that and adjust to it is a hugh step to make!!! You go girl!!! emoticon

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Broke my Word

Monday, April 19, 2010

I woke up, fully and suddenly just before 5:30 and did not have that "I need 30 more minutes fo sleep" feeling. I started thinking about my day, visualizing success. Success eating in balance, exercise, water and life.

After I got to work, during a break, I logged in and saw a note from Chaotickitty and NonieC. They both encouraged, uplifted and in a cyber way, carried me. I have received so much support through my Sparkfriends this week that I just cannot believe it. Support like this does not happen in my life! I don't take it for granted, either. Cyberhugs to all of you!

About a month ago, I struggled with fatigue in the office and launched a 10% experiment - raising my nutrition metrics at the upper end by 10%. No for fatigue, or at least significantly reduced. But, not much movement on the scale.
After last week's weird weight gain and loss, I decided to knock it down by 5% and see if I can nudge that scale down.

At the same time, I also know I need to move more. I told Chaotickitty that I would get on the treadmill and do each step in honor of her because she inspires me so much. I had that intention, but life intervened. After running errands and having accumulated over 11K steps, I was done. Fried. Exhausted mentally and physically. I did some strength training, but not a great deal.

I feel like crying, not for myself, but for others. I read a blog today by someone who is really, really going through some of the ugliness that life can bring. My heart breaks for her. My youngest sister, the one I am the closest with is having a rough time and.........on and on. I feel powerless to help anyone.

Except myself. I must keep moving forward!

Tomorrow will be better and, I hope, I can keep my word.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHAOTIC-KITTY 4/20/2010 11:50AM

  Hon.. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are amazing! You deserve everything that life has to offer. Maybe if you did cry .. it would release some of the stress you seem to be under. :( And, as I said.. you said you did *some* strength training.. that is way better than not doing *anything*! You should give yourself a pat on the back for being able to say you did something on a day that you felt like crap! Give yourself CREDIT!! ;)

Here's hoping for bigger and brighter days ahead. We all love you and care. :)


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GATOR12 4/20/2010 11:33AM


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JHADZHIA 4/20/2010 6:53AM

    11,000 steps is nothing to sneeze at! But it does sound like you make a mistake many do -trying to exercise at the end of a workday, and after errand running is not the best course of action. Perhaps you need to do your exercise in the morning, when you are fresh. If your office is tiring you out every day then its going to be really hard for you to want to do anything after being there all day. You can always start small, with maybe 10 minutes a morning, and work your way up. You may have not got the exercise you need this week, but at least you are watching your nutrition, and that is a good thing!

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ROX2013 4/20/2010 1:38AM

    Remember you did get in 11,000 steps and life does get in the way sometimes. I am sure your friends understand it is just postponed not a promise broken!!! emoticon

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NURSEWHO 4/20/2010 12:03AM

    Maybe you didn't break your word so much as postpone going through with your pledge. For me, when I see things in black and white too much, it is self-defeating and I don't feel like I can get back on track so easily. I encourage you to treat yourself gently while you are working on finding your groove...you can either be your own best friend or your own worst enemy. You seem to have your head wrappped around being accountable for your own choices and that's a huge step in the right direction!!
You can do it!

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HEIDIHYATT 4/19/2010 11:58PM

    We all have times we try so hard and just cant get it done. Dont be so hard on yourself - life does intervene.

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Another Lethargic Day!

Sunday, April 18, 2010

I'm going to end the day under food target, on target for water and almost no exercise. I still feel absolutely run down for no particular reason.

I lost 3 lbs this week. As I told some SP friends, it's as if I relost those pounds because I am still .3 over where I was two weeks ago. Waist is smaller than last week but almost everything else is bigger.

I can tell I am sliding backwards and don't have the energy to address it. I don't feel like moving, even though I know that's what I need to do. I'm not discounting the loss, well, maybe I am....

Not in a great frame of mind, I am tired of this journey and I want to make progress. I am not giving up. But maybe I'm taking a time out.........

I am still logging in my food even though the voice in my head says I don't need to, that it doesn't count because this is not food, it is medicine to make me feel better. So far, I am not falling in that trap. I may go to bed just to avoid giving in!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARRAND 4/19/2010 9:08PM

    Give yourself time. You may be coming down with something. Maybe you could get motivated to do just 10 minutes of exercise, like a short walk. Sometimes I promise myself I'll quit after 10 minutes, but once I get going, I keep going. Getting started is the hard part.

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NONIE_C 4/19/2010 3:27PM

    I hope you woke this morning with a clear head and fresh energy for facing the week, but don't get down on yourself if you didn't. Getting into funks, even if we don't know why at the moment, is simply part of the journey. It's what you do with those moments that counts though. I'm glad you are still logging all your food. Me too - even as I eat cake and bread and cheese, even as I exceed my calorie and fat ranges, even as I would like nothing better than to avoid eye contact and just self-destruct in peace. Staying committed to one's self is tricky business on a good day, so doing the little things that keep us moving in the right direction on the bad days is just that much more important. It's OK to be in a funk, just don't give yourself a free pass to stay there. Keep doing things, even just little things (like tracking food, walking stairs instead of taking elevator, looking in mirror and saying, "you're beautiful") and pat yourself on the back for doing those things, and eventually the little things will get bigger and the funk will pass. You are a super star and you can do this!!!!!!!

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JHADZHIA 4/18/2010 11:34PM

    Hope you are not coming down with something :( Remember this is a lifetime journey and sometimes life just gets in the way. Its what you do and think long term that counts, not taking a vacation or having blowouts. By all means take a time out. Maybe that is what your body is needing right now. Re energize, refresh, recharge those batteries and then come back stronger..
Your Spark friends will still be here to cheer you on!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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ROX2013 4/18/2010 11:32PM

    Keep making those small steady steps forward! Sometimes just tracking your food is a good strong small step that will add to a larger one. I hope you aren't coming down with the bug everyone seems to be getting, I came back from my weekend trip with in and still feel tired out and rundown. I started on meds for it Thursday so I hope within the next day or two I will start perking up again. Also, don't beat yourself up because of not exercising or feeling like it isn't worth it, we all have those thoughts and feelings. I try to focus on the good changes and things that have happened to me along this road, better health and fitness, great friends who are always there and really do understand how I am feeling.

We are right there walking along side of you and always will be as long as you want. Hang in there!!! emoticon emoticon

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TIME4ME-CHERYL 4/18/2010 9:18PM

    Stay positive and don't give up on your goal. I had the same issues and just needed to make some adjustments to my fitness and nutrition plans. Tomorrow is a new day. Hang in there!! emoticon

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CHAOTIC-KITTY 4/18/2010 9:17PM

  I am sure we have all felt like you do... at one moment or the other. Some of us have taken days off of SP ..and, have come back stronger than ever to continue on with their journey. Maybe you do need a break. It is totally your call. But remember .. u have people on here who will be there for you whenever u need us to be. And, we will even be your cheerleaders when you need us to be. :) I haven't wanted to work out for days! :( I got into a funk since Thursday. Hopefully tomorrow I will get to the gym .. (I hope!). I need to snap out of the funk I'm in. :(

I hope you stay on your journey .. because you *are* worth it... and, you are such an amazing person. And! You can DO it. Even though there are days that you feel like you can't!

Have a good sleep.


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BRITTVFAN 4/18/2010 9:14PM

    That was me last week,turned out I had the flu. Did nothing for the whole week but ready to get back on track tomorrow. Hang in there and you will start over as well.J ust think positive.

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Not the Day I Intended

Saturday, April 17, 2010

The 1 day challenge today was to get 10K steps. When I read that last night, I thought, no problem! But, it did not happen, not even close! I feel like a slug today. I jog/walked early this morning but it felt as if I were running through a wall of mud.

I went to the dollar store to look for table cloths for my party, walked all around the store and completely forgot to look for them!

Found some water bottles and will use those as prizes for the games, dovetailing with the corporate focus on well being. In fact, I'll use that angle in suggesting people bring foods that are healthy and, because there are vegetarians, that, too.

I spent a ton of money at the Grocery Outlet, but we had not been there in a couple of weeks. I was thrilled to find lowfat plain soymilk there. I blend that with 2% milk so that I can hack the flavor of soy and cut the calories of the milk. It is the kind of place where you buy it when you see it because it may not be there next time.

BF has finally warmed up to having and using the slow cooker I bought a few weeks ago. Our dinner tonight is yummy! Note to self, drink more water because it sure tasted salty.

Today is summed up with: not enough exercise, not enough accomplished, but I ended the day within nutrition range...TIRED, TIRED, TIRED.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CARRAND 4/18/2010 9:00PM

    It sounds to me like you had a pretty good day, and got a lot done. Hang in there.

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HIGHLY-FAV 4/18/2010 8:55PM

    Hey, you stayed in your calorie range, emoticon! To me that's even harder than exercising!
“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars.”

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JHADZHIA 4/18/2010 1:35AM

    You did better than you think, staying in your Nutrition range is important!
If you are tired, you must have done enough moving around at those stores to get enough exercise to make you tired! Tomorrow is another day and a fresh start! Go for it!
I don't drink any dairy milk at all. I use my plain soy milk in a fruit shake so I don't notice the flavor or I mix a vanilla flavored protein supplement in it when I have it by itself.

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LAURIE_S_07 4/18/2010 1:29AM

    doesnt it seem in a way no matter how much you walk you wont reach that goal, i recently got a new pedometer even gone on a few walks through out the day not including just walking around the house and according to it i was only around 6500. it makes me thing that there's something wrong with the thing. is there a certain brand pedometer you use?

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SSCHULTZ59 4/18/2010 1:04AM

    not the day you intended but still a good day. you accomplished alot even if it was not everything you wanted. make a list and try and try to accomplish more of your goals each day until you get them all, you will find you will be more realistic in your goals as you go along. there are always changes and bumps in the road but you will find you are more successful than you think. we are usually our own worst enemies.
Take heart tomorrow is another day.

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ROX2013 4/17/2010 11:51PM

    Sounds like you had a full day and did accomplish alot. You got the stuff you wanted at the food outlet, stuff for the party and now you have a idea for a theme of healthy and wellness. And had dinner with BF, that sounds like you were pretty busy and you still walked this morning. I can not use soy because of my breast cancer, I use soy sauce sometimes but never had the milk. Have a great Sunday!!! emoticon

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CHAOTIC-KITTY 4/17/2010 11:48PM

  well, at least you got *some* exercise done. :) i'm sure you'll sleep great tonight with all that stuff that you did. that soy milk sounds good... i'm nervous to try it.. i've always wanted to try it. maybe i will one day. :)


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NANNER2121 4/17/2010 11:42PM

    Wow, I kinda had the same day, if you get a chance read my blog.
Have you tried almond milk? 40 cals per 8 oz for the unsweetened and it really tastes good. I cannot have soy because of receptor positive results with my breast cancer diagnosis (even if I could stand the taste) and do not like the calories in regular milk. I read an article about almond milk and tried it. Hooked! It is expensive, but I think worth every penny (I don't use that much as I don't drink milk as a rule and only use it if I have a little granola or somehing that requires a little milk.)

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The Emotional Eater in Me Did Not Take Over Today

Saturday, April 17, 2010

I hardlly know where to start. I have been really tired this week and overslept a little this morning. I was hurrying out the door and BF asked for $20. Long story short, but I never have money at home because he'll either take it or badger me until I give it.

One of the rules is that he can't ask me for money at the last minute. This morning, when he asked, I emphatically said no. But he does not respect that and kept on. Long story short - we had an argument and that was an awful way to start the day. (I'm leaving out a lot)

I was really shaken and it made it hard to focus at work. In the past, that would have been enough for me to start stuffing my face, but the thought did not occur to me. I was so angry and so hurt!

BF did call and apologize and I accepted it, but I don't know how much of it was real and how much of it was a manipulative effort to get back on my good side so he could still get what he wanted.

I didn't walk a lot today, even though it was a gorgeous day. I still feel very stiff and sore and the tendon is tentative. I got just over 8K steps. The longest walk happened when I came home. As I feared, the angling for $20 started before I got in the door (2 messages on my cellphone while I was driving -- I don't use the phone in the car, even with the earpiece.) I finally caved but we walked to the store and I set a brisk pace because I was so angry. The fear is that if I don't give in, he will sell something of mine for far less than it's worth...

This is really off point and probably something I'll be embarrassed that I shared tomorrow, but.....

I cannot afford to move out and, under state law, cannot evict him, so I am stuck.

It is absolutely amazing that I ended the day within range in most respects (over on calcium, under on fat) AND gotten some exercise in. That is a far cry from my past coping mechanisms!

I still feel huge and dispair that the scale and tape measure will show anything for my efforts (Sunday morning). But that is nothing to dwell on tonight...

I am going to play a computer game and then head to bed for what I hope will be 8 hours of sleep!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

JHADZHIA 4/17/2010 2:30AM

    I am glad you overcame this! Unfortunately, it sounds like this BF is a real loser and needs to be dumped! Not something you should need to deal with :((
Really sorry you are so trapped :( I came very close to having a BF once, but when he showed signs of becoming obsessive, I called it quits. Too many horror stories out there of women being taken advantage of, stalked and abused (either mentally, physically, or both).
I hope your weekend goes better for you!

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PONDERTHIS 4/17/2010 2:08AM

    Hooray for you that the emotions didn't rule the day! emoticon I hope you have a wonderful weekend.

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