Thursday, April 15, 2010
I woke up this morning feeling as if I had never closed my eyes. I found myself thinking about food and trying to convince myself that if I ate something, I would not be tired. The thoughts continued even after a good breakfast and snack.
Lunch was a bit haphazard because of the meetings, but I made a great food choice at the school cafe for dinner before class. Very proud about that! I am getting better about flying blind without nutrition info!
I gave myself mental brownie points for that self-awareness. Fatigue was not a stuff-my-face trigger. I have been hungry today, but I am not sure it's true food hunger. I ended the day completely within balance in all the nutrition metrics.
Sore and stiff today, really feeling my age, but I walked every chance I got despite my crazy schedule. Racked up over 11K steps! I did take the elevator twice when my knee balked, but I used that time to do some squats and hip flexors.
The funny thing was: I brought 24 cupcakes to work today, a coworker brought coffee cake and I had none of it! Today was the 98th birthday of the man who founded my company. (he died 3 years ago Saturday). Doris made a sign that I asked her to make: "Happy Birthday, Chauncey, in heaven". He was the smartest man, had the longest vision of anyone I've ever known, a true giant of a man even though he was as short as I am!
I used bits of Chauncey's life as my springboard for today's Table Topics questions in our Toastmaster meeting and got very great feedback for my choices. Toastmasters is an international public speaking organization and my company sponsors a club. Table Topics is where you get to practice the skill of thinking and speaking on your feet. An example: my favorite quote from Chauncey is "If you don't love what you are doing, you need to be doing something else." I read that quote and asked one of the members to say what they should be doing if they lived that quote. (She came up with running a microbrewery!)
When I had my morning visit with Mr. Scale, he gave me a number 2.4 lbs less than yesterday, proving once again that daily weighing is too capricious to be reliable. My clothes did not feel as loose as yesterday, but I did not focus on that either...NO MATTER WHAT the tape measure or the scale says on Sunday, I know this was a very successful week.
Now, if only I could get some more exercise in...
(yes, I said that and yes, I think that as I drive home or to work!)
I'm discovering that exercise IS a stress reducer!
Wednesday, April 14, 2010
The scale this morning showed I gained .2 from yesterday. I almost laughed! I am not believing any of the numbers (see my blog from yesterday and the day before). TOM is threatening, but must be planning a big entrance because late is the word! (and, no, I am not in danger of expecting - just age and looming menopause)
As I did yesterday, I walked all throughout the day, but did not have a chance to take a walk of dedicated time. I got over 10K steps in and, as I went up and down the stairs (even with the rice krispy sounding knee) or down the halls, I realized I like feeling stronger, I like the way my body moves and I love the feeling that I am standing taller. Being under 5 feet, that is a novel feeling!
I'm starting to get a bad vibe at work about the overtime project. I guess they thought I'd have a magic wand or something. No, I think what happened is the supervising attorney went to the VP and asked for more time for me and was told no. She was rather abrupt with me when I asked a question about the project. I thought she would answer affirmatively to my question, but the answer was an unexpected one. I am earmarking the OT dollars for a certification class this fall and am thinking that I will get only a portion of what I will need. Disappointing.
My coworker and friend who is helping with my party sent me a long email telling me everything she needs from me sooner than later because of her schedule, which is, on it's face fine. But she should not have volunteered if she didn't think she could deal with it. There are some facts I won't have until late May and some of the information has to do with the actual graduation ceremony. More than anything else it was the tone of the email, about accommodating her schedule. I bristle! Tuesday is the evening when I do homework because I have class on Wednesday. I did not need that stress today! I did, however, reply. She asked for my mailing list and I had told her just a few days ago that I had most of it together, but needed to confirm some information before I sent it. She already knew about the delay in information from the college. But she's getting her carpet done in mid-May and has a reunion at the end of June.
It isn't just this - it's her very selfish focus. Any time I raise something with her, there's a reason why she did or did not do something and, if I stop sharing with her because she's emotionally fragile, I get a load of guilt for not trusting her.
OK. That was enough of a vent for now. I find myself not breathing!
Despite all that, it was a really good day! I have just started wearing size 14 slacks and they are getting really baggy already! For me to realize I like how my body feels as I walk briskly down the stairs or the hall, that was a huge paradigm shift! Lifestyle change, indeed!
There was a lot more I wanted to say, but it's past lights out and tomorrow work starts early so I can get to school on time...
Thanks, EVERYONE, for the great comments over the past few days! I am surviving the speedbump from Mr. Scale! Woohoo~!
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
One of my teams is the One Day Challenge and team leader SHANFANNIN comes up with great challenges. Some are fun, some are exercise or food related. Today's was one of those that made me think there was no way I could do it when I read her post. But I DID IT! I DID IT! I DID IT!
I had lots of reasons to walk around the campus at work today and used the stairs every chance I got. When I stepped out for my lunchtime walk, it was barely sprinkling. Not long into the walk, the Juneau-type sprinkle became a big fat raindrop Arkansas kind of rain. I don't mind rain at all! But, before I could finish, the wind blew off my hood. I got pretty soaked and my ears got cold. (I can't afford to get sick!). I started laughing and giving thanks! The worsening weather made me move even faster, making me burn more calories, so I won!
My intention was to try another scary machine at the company fitness center, but life intervened. I needed to get home by a certain time which I did not know until I was well into some overtime...I had an errand to run before I could get home. At Target, I still parked at the opposite end of the parking lot, grabbed a cart and hustled through the store. I ended up with 1o,039 steps!
At home, I did some strength training, trying a few exercises I've never done before. For some of my "regular" exercises, I did more reps. It's kind of fun seeing my progress by counting how many more I can do...Never thought that would happen!
Yesterday, I was so unhappy with the scale results - a 3.9 gain that took me all day to deal with. I decided not to cut back on nutrition but to ramp up my exercise. We'll see how long I can follow through on that intention (LOL).
This morning, I stepped on Mr. Scale again. I usually weigh just once a week, but I thought I would try to understand what happened. As I thought, this is a fluctuation. Possibly TOM, but he has not appeared yet. This morning, I was down 2.4 from yesterday. When life presents a cosmic joke, all you can do is laugh and enjoy the ride. It will end soon one way or another.
Pre-Spark. I would have given up long before now and, had a scale stuck out his tongue like this to me then, that would have been the end of that diet attempt! Even though I am losing weight so, so, so slowly, I am definitely changing! Thank you, SparkFriends! My success is a reflection of your generosity towards me by sharing, encouraging, educating,,,,Thanks to you, I'm like a road explorer - I just can't wait to see what's around the next bend!
Sunday, April 11, 2010
This blog interrupted for some thank yous. Ponderthis, CMRAND54, VICD25 snf JOYSGARDEN - thank you for encouraging me today! Thank you, also, to MISSY 455, PONDERTHIS, NITZARAQUEL, IXCHEL23, GATOR12 and NANNER2121 who all helped me turn the page on yesterday's calorie faux pas.
I stepped on the scale and pulled out the tape measure. Sunday is the morning when I do this. To my shock, I gained 3.9 pounds! I forget what the tape results were, but equally bad. I did not get much exercise in last week and, because it was due to the Achilles tendon, I should have thought to revert to the auto settings that sparkpeople had given me when I started in late January, but I didn't think of it.
For those of you who missed it, I started a 10% experiment a few weeks ago. I have been exercising more than I ever have in my life and found that I was far too sleepy at work. Increasing my calorie range and other nutrition metrics by 10% solved that problem and I was continuing to lose pound fragments until this week.
Yes, it could be because TOM might be coming. I am of the age when it is very unpredictable. Overeating yesterday did not help. Succumbing to the Achilles tendon did not help and neither did the schedule which ate into my lunchtime exercise.
In any case, following the shock was strong disappointment, discouragement and anger. I kept telling myself all the positive things I've learned on this journey. It would be a lie to say that has completely removed those negative feelings, but it has helped. Yes, this is a journey and, no, it is not a diet. I realize that the negative thinking is "diet" thinking and not part of the positive language of my new lifestyle.
Some of the disappointment was that I had decided that, when I reached 10% body weight loss, I would reward myself with some coveted items from the Sparkpeople store. That gratification has been delayed...!
My first thought was to scale back on the nutritional settings but I rethought that. Doing so would be like punishment. The other side of that coin is to get more serious about exercise.
This morning, while doing laundry at the laundromat, I had a couple of short brisk walks. The sprinkles made it very refreshing. While waiting the last few minutes for the washer and, later, the dryer, I read a few more pages of the Spark book.
Then I went to work, not to work, but to get away from the tv and get some personal stuff done. I planned to study, but did not get that far. I worked up the bulk of the invitation list for my Mahalo party, worked up the music list so my coworker can set up the songs, balanced my checkbook and paid bills. It always feels good to be current on my bills. I just wish I could pay them off!
By this time, the storm had begun in earnest. I had a few errands to do on the way home, but I deferred them for another day and went to the company fitness room. Rows of weights for weight machines, a fitness ball wedged in a corner (I couldn't see how there was any room to use it as there was no open floor space), exercise bikes, stairmaster, a couple of machines I could not identify and two treadmills.
I've never been on a treadmill. I figured out how to set it by following the instructions and trial and error. I could not figure out how to hook up the heart monitor, but, the thing was moving! So I figured I should. I had set it for 10 minutes. I wasn't sure if I should run or walk, so I walked most of the time. Before I knew it, over two minutes had elapsed. Then 3 and then, at 5 minutes, the halfway memo popped up (as if I could forget). I made it have a small incline and jogged for 15 seconds every minute. At 8 minutes, I seriously considered hopping off, but I didn't want to waste the electricity! It doesn't sound like much, but I completed the 10 minutes! Imagine my surprise when it started a cool down session! I thought I was done! But I stayed on until it stopped.
I was SO glad there was no one there to see me clumsily using the machine! My heart rate was up for a long time afterwards! I am very, very, very tired and will be going to bed early tonight. The machine said I completed .15 miles and burned 26 calories. It sure felt as if I did more than that!
The intention is to get up early and check out the stair machines before work starts.
This does not relieve my bad feelings about today's results; it means I am compartmentalizing those feelings, not dealing with them right now and focusing on moving forward. We'll see how intention can turn into action...
Thanks, Sparkfriends! I would not be plugging onward without your participation in my journey. I truly love and appreciate you!
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Today was a cool, grey, overcast day and it was perfect for a walk. I was surprised to discover that my long brisk walk did not aggravate my sore Achilles tendon. This was a deliberately long roundtrip walk from home to the local market. I did feel some twinges further up on the leg, but I did not allow that to deter me.
Then I did a little bit of strength training, first time all week.
But I forgot a fundamental thing for dinner. BF made dinner and I ate all of it! It was good, but it was far too high in calories. I am over goal by 300 calories! YIKES!
Tomorrow, I am going to work, not to work, but to get some quiet time to do some study and party planning. I have a US Supreme Court opinion to read and brief before Wednesday. I have to work up the music list and mailing list for the party.
I have some workout clothes in a locker at work so I hope to try out the mini gym with all those scary pieces of equipment.
Tomorrow morning is weigh in and I regret that I was not more vigilant today!
Get An Email Alert Each Time JUNEAU2010 Posts