Thursday, April 01, 2010
I moved to the Bay Area in late 1986 and immediately found a job at a small privately held services company. I ended up working there for nearly 15 years during which time I held 7 or 8 jobs. In a sense, I grew up in that company. I left that company in early 2001 to come to my present company, a nonprofit research company (more about it in a moment). Today was the final day for my first company. There were still 23 employees (the peak was about 350) and I had worked with more than 10 of them. I am so sad for my friends, sad for losing a piece of my own history.
Couple that with last week's family stuff and what's going on at my present company and that's how I find myself in a blue mood. When I came to company B, it was one of those can't turn it down kind of opportunities. Three years later, they laid me off and immediately rehired me for another position at a huge pay cut. Two years later, they laid me off from that position and I got hired into another position almost 2 weeks later. Since then, I have been in 2 other positions and layoffs continue to occur. This week, a couple of friends got laid off and another friend is leaving, moving clear across the country and has a dream job waiting. One of the layoffs was done so that they could shuffle resources and hire someone in a slightly different position for a different office. That new position is one I am not eligible for now, (I don't have the experience or the skills), but it is one that I have been working towards. I don't feel secure! On the good side, I get to clear out one of the desks and figure out what to do with the unfinished work which means a bit of rare OT.
I did not get to walk at lunch time because I had a role in the Toastmaster meeting. In the morning, I took my break outside. I walked downstairs, outside, down more stairs, walked over and up some more stairs and across the breezeway and back up the stairs to my office. I intended to do that loop in the afternoon, but I was so rattled by something that came up at work that I didn't. I had planned to run some errands this evening on the way home which would have meant more walking, but I was so drained, I just came home.
I jumped on SP and, after a while, decided to walk over to the office to drop off my rent check. The skies opened up so I walked in the rain. I didn't run because I was afraid I'd slip. I took a longer way around coming home and should have done a little more. I got in almost 9500 steps, not enough. I came home, kicked off my shoes and picked up my weights. A tiny bit of upper body strength training. Not enough. That short walk sure felt good!
I felt like eating everything! But I didn't. I stayed within range in most respects.
Tomorrow is a group lunch which could present the opportunity to eat unwisely. I am nervous about that. Friday is another lunch out at KFC with a good friend. I wish I did not like biscuits! I'm going to have to keep focused.
I just want to cry! Yet, I know I have reasons for which to be grateful. I need to remember those, too. On that list is my SparkPeople community! Thank you for your support! A good night's sleep begins in a few minutes and that will help!
Monday, March 29, 2010
This is an earlier-in-the-day post for me because my lunchtime exercise was one that made me laugh! I had been on my feet most of the morning, carrying files here and there up and down the stairs and, when I had to use the elevator, I used that "dead" time to do hip flexors and squats. Squats are still really hard!
I looked at my watch and saw that it was time for my lunchtime walk. I do this walk in my street clothes, though I know, with summer coming, I need to bring a change of clothes because it is hot in the hills in the summer time. As soon as I hit the pavement, I started running in my turtle fashion. I can't run very far yet, so I ran until I couldn't, then walked until I felt like runing again. During the second spurt, I realized that my access badge and lanyard were flapping in the breeze and my girls were probably getting more exercise than I was.
Too late! I saw a guy walking diagonally across my path! I know I must have presented an odd sight as I went slowly flapping past him! I cannot even describe his expression! I kept going and then slowed to a walk. When I came to a flat stretch, I thought about jogging again, but there was a real jogger coming towards me. He had no shirt on, shorts and the right shoes and the body of a longtime runner. AND he was still able to greet me as he zoomed by. Inspired, I walked faster, but was about to start an incline, so did not turtle jog.
An exercise bra, running shoes, shirt and shorts need to be acquired and stored here. Wearing shorts at lunchtime will be a real act of courage. No one at work sees me in anything except slacks! They don't know I have legs! This is starting to be very comical!
A few weeks ago, I read an article on SP that said when you walk uphill, that constitutes a load-bearing exercise, something women need in order to stave off osteoporosis. I remind myself of that at every incline because it is, otherwise, very easy to talk my way out of taking that route!
When I get home this evening, it will be time to hit the weights. Yes, I said that! My batwings have gotten noticably smaller and I have not even been consistent in doing my strength training! That's motivation to do more!
I am still fighting discouragement with losing so little every week and seeing the tape measure results fluctuate, but that is counterbalanced by the way my clothes feel and the increasing ease with which I move around. Both my friend and partner were amazed how well I was able to handle the hike Saturday, so there is evidence that I am making progress even if the tape measure and scale persist in reporting less than desired results.
Today, I am on track nutritionally, I've had 7 cups of water before lunch, I am planning some more exercise this evening and I feel great! I may make 30 minutes of exercise today, but I still have the achievement of that much time in one session still on the horizon. At least it is there. I marvel at the attitude change brought about on this journey, thanks to SP. Me looking forward to and feeling great during and after exercise is a novelty that will take a long time before it does not feel like a miracle. Decades of habit are being torn down daily!
I feel great!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Surprisingly, I did not sleep well last night. I should have after that glorious hike! When I did get up, I was STIFF! My right arch hurt for most of the day and it was just hard to move at all. My plan to do a bunch of errands was torpedoed, partly by that and partly by a marathon on tv.
On the good side, I have not been eating everything in sight all day!
When I first got up, I stepped on the scale and it had a great number! But, I was not sure I had set up the scale level, so, when I stepped on it again later, it was not so exciting. But, if I take the long view, the 1.7 pound loss is quite acceptable. The inches on my tape measure results were quite mixed. Lost a bit on the waist, gained in the hips and arm...I don't get it.
I am very relaxed today, a rare feeling!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
I hardly know where to begin. Do I post at all? Do I share only about my activities today? Or do I dedicate today in memoriam? Or shall I attempt to cover everything that today was?
Today was the planned delayed birthday day with my partner and my very good friend and coworker. Today also happens to mark the one year anniversary of the death of a young Navy man in Afghanistan, Frankie Toner IV. I am not related to Frankie, nor did we ever meet. My brother was his roommate in Afghanistan and had also trained him for his last job. While my family is grateful to have my brother back safely, our hearts are broken for the loss of this young man and the empty place in the Toner family. Some day, I will go to Arlington and pay my respects.
My birthday celebration with Bill and Yvonne was a trip to Pinnacles National Monument, south of Gilroy, east of Monterey. Yvonne had never been there and she is a photographer in her other life outside of work, so I always try to pick something that she will enjoy. Bill and I had not been to Pinnacles in a few years. I had forgotten how rugged the "easy" trail was. The Bear Gulch trail is about 1.4 miles roundtrip, but the mileage is deceiving. It was a total body workout for me for the two hours! Balancing on narrow trails with people in all directions, scaling rocks and steps cut into rocks, ducking down through the caves and sliding on loose soil. I did not make it to the reservoir, but we were only yards away when we turned back. The last stretch involved squeezing through a crevice in the dark and I didn't think I could do it, especially knowing I was still going to have to walk back! I did slip and slide a little; there were a few spots where I sat down and worked my way down a rock or a deep step that way, but I did not fall and have only two minor scrapes to show for the day! At the end of the hike, I felt as if I had crossed a finish line! (I wanted to reach the resevoir so I could think for a few moments and honor the sacrifice that Frankie made and to pray for his family and friends, including my brother, who are still hurting today.) From all accounts, he was the kind of guy who would give you his last shirt. In fact,in the days before he was shot, he had been gathering clothes and shoes for the Afghanis who lived near their base. I hope my thoughts of him interspersed through the day serve as the fragrant prayer and honor him as I wanted to do, though he deserves much more.
Dinner was at Black Bear Diner and, as nearly as I can calculate, was a huge portion of today's calories, even though I ate mostly carefully throughout the day. (I did have one piece of macadamia nut/chocolate/coconut candy and that probably tipped me over in the fat category!)
Today was tinged with sadness, the saddest day of a very sad week.
Today was a personal victory in that I had a very successful hike.
Today was a surprise in that I stayed mostly within the nutritional goals despite not planning the day or tracking throughout the day.
Today was relaxing. I have not felt this relaxed in months, literally!
Today was a reminder, at the end of the day, when I finally logged in to SP, of the power of the people who are on this site. I received some wonderful comments, great support and encouragement, dare I say love, from SparkPeople this week and today. Thank you.
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