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Paleo Day One

Sunday, April 07, 2013

I rediscovered carbs the last couple of weeks. I totally binged on cereal and granola bars. I even had a maple scone at Starbucks yesterday. I have felt bloated, enormous and negative.

I have been overwhelmed by everything in my life. My living situation, my financial situation, are both in a very poor state. I cannot easily change either.

We just went through the personnel review process at job #1. My job has completely changed this year thanks to our new enterprise-wide software system. I feel as if I am a brand-new employee with all the excitement and fear that entails. I have been given very nebulous guidance about what I need to do to earn the promotion, title and raise that I strongly want. It turns out the money may not come with it. If you look at the labor statistics for "paralegal", they are generally broken down by the salaries in San Francisco vs the salaries in San Jose. I work nearly midway between and there is no specific breakdown for the midPeninsula. My company, of course, chooses the lower range (San Jose) and tells me that, because, by virtue of my service and past raises, my salary is already in range.

Part of the review process includes a ranking. The ranking scale was changed at the end of the review period so that no one can earn an "exceeds expectations" rating. Couple that with the lack of a raise in my future, I am deflated by this review.

Family and friends are clamoring for me to visit. There is another high school reunion, my adopted mom is failing, a dear friend has been asking me to come see her for a few years - a long list of trips. I can afford none. This year, I could take the time, but cannot afford to do anything.

I just spent over $1K on my car and need to spend about 3 times that soon. I cannot afford to replace it - car payments and increased insurance would be an even greater burden.

Lots of stress.

I am not sleeping well. Seasonal allergies, seasonal asthma and migraines have laid me flat.

I have nothing to lose by starting my paleo experiment. It will have to be done on the cheap. I am ignoring the huge bin of cereal, of beans, pasta and rice that I have in the house. This will be a challenge, but I need to make a positive change.

I had egg substitute and sausage for breakfast along with 2 cups of coffee. The coffee included nonfat milk and artificial sweetner - an imperfect start, but a start nonetheless.

I need to lose weight. I need to lose weight for my health, for quality of life, so I can get a new wardrobe, so I can feel good about myself, so I can move forward. I feel frozen in so many ways.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_LINDA 4/8/2013 11:17PM

    This company you have worked so long and hard for sure doesn't seem to value its employees too much. I don't suppose you have enough job experience to look elsewhere, especially in a place closer to your family and or friends? Maybe you need a sea change in jobs if you feel you are spinning your wheels with this one. Especially when no one knows that at any time they can be given the axe. That kind of stress is as bad to your health as anything.
If you must go on this paleo thing, the least you can do is make the meats lean quality cuts and nothing processed which would include hidden cereal fillers and tons of sodium. The low carb thing has worked for a lot of people. Good luck with it!
Sorry about your vehicle, that was quite the hit :((

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LIBBYFITZ 4/8/2013 7:37AM

    I wish you well with your new plan. So sorry to see that you are not being paid enough! Nothing worse than not being valued! emoticon

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WINDSONG26 4/7/2013 10:27PM

    I feel you on the struggles. All I can say is good luck and everything really does seem to work out right in the end of it all.

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WEARINGTHIN 4/7/2013 4:19PM

    Paleo IS a lot more costly. Meats and seafoods cost quite a bit more than cheaper carbs. Make sure you can afford it for a real long time if you're going into it. I don't think it's something you can just stumble into. Good luck, Glenn

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Short Term Self-Challenge

Thursday, March 21, 2013

Yesterday marked a crossroads for me. It was my birthday. I chose not to care what I ate, but that is nothing new. I am still not committed to making the lifestyle changes I need to make, but that MUST change. My life depends on it and I know that.

Still it's not all doom and gloom. I did walk a lot yesterday because we were out and about doing errands. I can tell I really need to lose some weight because my lower back and knees strongly object to this tonnage.

I was surprised yesterday to find that my local sports gear shop had SF Giants World Series t shirts marked down big time. They list at $25, had been marked down to $11.97 and I bought one for $5.98. I won't tell you the size. It's too big for me, but not by much. I walked around the store looking at all the cool fitness gear and came home with the shirt. BF wanted one. (He's not even a Giants fan - he grew up near Oakland, so he's an Oakland A's fan)

As it happened, we had to go to the hardware store next door for a part and some fertilizer for the yard. I really hate looking at hardware, especially on my birthday, but we get little time together, so I tried to make the best of it. We walked next door and grabbed the shirt. While we were there, we walked around the store and he looked at all the cool fitness gear. I showed him the huge kettle bells in the corner. I cannot even lift them!

Then he wanted to look at the other weights. Weights are like hardware to me except Kettlebells.
They always seem to be having a sale on weights - 20% off. All of the kettlebells are marked up. The smaller ones have the colorful vinyl covers and they all had black marks on them. They had 3 15# KBs that are solid black. They all had torn vinyl covers and one was dinged even more than that. I don't like things that are banged up, but we asked the manager if we could get a better discount on one of these because they are in such less-than-new condition. She gave us an additional 25% off.

$39.99 down to $23.99! I cannot swing the 15# weight yet, but I will soon! I am looking forward to building that strength! BF does not think I want to build the strength to do more than that, but I tell him the women who do REAL KB work start at 17#! (I forget what that translates to in kg, but that's how the KBs are generally measured.)

I finally have something in the world of physical activity that I like! Who would have guessed it would be KBs?!

BF has been trying to get me into boxing. He has the knowledge and the tools. I even have a pair of pink (think cancer pink) gloves that I bought on super sale when the local Sears was being torn down. We tapped some of the weight bags at the store last night and I was surprised I liked it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIBBYFITZ 4/4/2013 11:19PM

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Sounds like you are doing great! The fact that you are looking at fitness equipment and being diligent about what you buy. So proud of you. emoticon

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CATLADY52 3/22/2013 5:21PM

    Happy birthday! You will make the decision on your own. And on your own schedule. It is good that you got the shirts on sale. That's how I got mine. We got them. That's what counts. emoticon

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CARRAND 3/22/2013 1:04PM

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You've got to go with the exercise you like!

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_LINDA 3/22/2013 12:15AM

    You have to find what interests you! Good luck with them!! Happy belated birthday!!
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MOVEITMARY 3/22/2013 12:09AM

    Sorry, posted it twice by mistake... no delete button so everyone gets to see my boo-boo!
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Comment edited on: 3/22/2013 12:10:58 AM

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MOVEITMARY 3/22/2013 12:08AM

    Hahaha, I don't even know what Kettlebells are... but if it works for you, DO IT.

Sounds like you are struggling with your motivation, but remember the first step to change is recognizing that there is a problem, so you have already got step one done! The second step, creating a goal (get fit and healthy) - done!

You are already doing step three, which is begining to make changes that will bring you toward your goal. Don't be down on yourself if the changes are small - small changes are easier to maintain over time, such as 8 glasses of water, 3 fruits/veg per day, and FINDING ONE EXERCISE YOU ENJOY.

See? You are on your way!
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SKINNYINMYHEAD 3/21/2013 7:51PM

    Yeah! I looooove kettlebells too! Love the rhythm of them.. and Happy Birthday!

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March 11

Monday, March 11, 2013

March 11

My "baby" brother celebrates a birthday today. He lives in Japan with his wife and son.

Today marks the 2nd anniversary of the earthquake and tsunami that led to the nuclear accident at Fukushima Dai-ichi.

Today I learned that Joel Lee Compton's application for parole was denied. In 1983, he killed Officer Jerry Cline of the Albuquerque Police Department. Jerry's wife was my history teacher and they were both leaders of the Explorer Scout troop that I participated in for two years. When Jerry's killer was convicted, he was originally given a death sentence. Later, an outgoing governor commuted all of the sentences of those men on death row. The governor now says he did not think any of those men would ever come up for parole. What that commutation of sentence means is that, now, every two years, Jerry's widow, family and friends have to try to persuade the parole board that his killer should not be given freedom. It keeps that wound from ever healing. I am in my 50s, Jerry's widow and friends are older than I am and I think it is a cruel twist of fate that they get to spend their last decades continually reliving Jerry's murder and the pain of that trial. The most painful thing for them is that his killer has not expressed any remorse for killing Jerry.

Speaking of pain - day two of migraine. Great way for me to spend my "staycation". I learned today through a coworker who emailed me at home that layoffs have started. About a dozen people were on the list of people leaving the company. Some were already gone on Friday. I know one guy is retiring this Friday, but I suspect most of the rest are layoffs. I know at least 3 are.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RKJONES1953 3/13/2013 5:03PM

    I was reminded of the AA message about knowing what I can change and accept that which I can not change. I am glad that my family has not experienced injustice regarding a family killing. Currently my school district is doing layoffs and furlough days. Its stressful watching co-workers loose their jobs and having the remote fear that you may be next.
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Individuals that have not experienced a true migrane have no idea as to how much you suffer. I'll say a prayer

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ANNESYLVIA 3/12/2013 4:52PM

    Sad blog. So much pain in your writing. Sorry spark friend that you are going through all this with your migraine, lay offs and your heart bleeding for your history teacher's situation.

hope tomorrow is brighter for you.

hugs, Anne

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BYEFATNANNY 3/12/2013 3:29PM

    Why a police killer would ever get out boggles my mind. My thought and hope is that the parole board has enough sense to not let him out. It is a re-mouning period his family has to go through each time. Makes me furious. Sorry to hear of your migraines when you are supposed be having fun and relaxing. Happy b-day to your brother and many more.

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_LINDA 3/12/2013 1:22AM

    For shame on that governor commuting a police killer's sentence, should never happen -there needs to be a strong deterrent for harming those who put their lives on the line for the public. Just unreal he is up for parole. It is very sad the family has to keep attending these hearings :((
So very sorry you are suffering a migraine -can you take nothing to ease it up or shorten it at all? Was it brought on by the stress of worrying about all these layoffs coming up?
I am assuming you don't have anything to worry about..
Feel better soon..
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Firecracker Day X: Saturday Review, Sunday Possibilities

Sunday, March 10, 2013

I can't remember what I did on Friday in terms of moving my fitness forward. What a week it was!
Yesterday was Saturday. Saturday is my longest work day. I work part time at a car dealership. The work is usually really boring, but I can't complain - the work is easy, the pay is ok and I am grateful to have the job. The length of the day is broken up by the luxury of a 2 hour lunch break! I can run errands (I shop near there all the time), take a nap or, gasp, exercise!

Yesterday was a beautiful blue-sky day. Cool and gorgeous, perfect for walking. I have not been walking regularly, so when I do, my lower back tightens up. Losing weight will help with that. I walked from the dealership to my car, grabbed my fruit and walked over the slough to the strip mall, past it to Subways and bought an oven roasted chicken sandwich with tons of veggies. Walking to Subways, I had to sit twice. On the way back, I chose to sit outside and eat my sandwich.

When I crossed the slough the first time (bridge), I found someone had put some religious pamphlets on a post. Some had blown down onto the ground and others were headed towards the water. I rounded them all up and recycled them. Littering does nothing to enhance whatever message the depositor was trying to share. C'mon! The ducks, geese, coots and other birds and wildlife that call the slough home cannot read and don't need the paper clogging things up. YUCK!

When I returned over the slough, down the other side, the city crews were spraying something. Their truck was partially on the sidewalk and all kinds of cordage added to the need for me to step carefully. I was starting to resent the workers and the situation when they turned off the sprayer and said hello. We exchanged cheerful greetings and they waiting until I was out of spray range before resuming their work. I am so glad that was the exchange instead of what was in my head!

My pedometer says the walk, slow as it was, was about 45 minutes and something over 2 miles. I am a turtle and that is ok for now. At least I moved!

I was supposed to meet a former fellow paralegal student for coffee this afternoon, but I woke up with a migraine and canceled. I was not thrilled about spending the time and gas doing this anyway, but it would be nice to see her again. The time was going to be smack dab in the middle of the afternoon, so it would have created logisitical issues anyway. We're going to meet up and it will be wonderful, but I am relieved it's not today.

If the headache allows, BF is going to give me a boxing lesson. He found a punching bag and stand that someone was throwing away and lugged that home yesterday while I was at work. A couple of years ago, I bought some Cancer Awareness pink boxing gloves at the local Sears when they were at a clear-the-shelves price. The Sears store was closed and torn down, putting a few hundred people out of work in the name of real estate development...I hope, not just for the fitness, but also for the relationship, that I like boxing. BF loves it. His dad boxed semi-professionally when he was young, so he grew up around it.

So, my first week on the "Firecracker" challenge is a bit uneven. I did "something" on 5 of the 7 days. Great start. I need to have longer and more consistent sessions, but that will come with time. For the first time since I don't know when, I actually feel good about my activity level.

What really helped was wearing a talisman to support a cause every day. For the past two days and through the next few, I am wearing a red and white and a white and red cause bracelet "Hope for Japan". Tomorrow marks the two year anniversary of the earthquake and tsunami that led to the nuclear accident at Fukushima's Dai-ichi plant. My brother, sister-in-law and nephew live in Japan. I worry about the long-term effects of the exposure on my nephew, so this cause is very near to my heart.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_LINDA 3/10/2013 11:19PM

    Good for you making the effort to move, that is a great start! Sorry about the migraine :( hope it doesn't last too long..
I love my Boxercise and kickboxing. What it is, they do standard boxing punches and add martial art style kicks. But one caution. You need really strong core muscles. Punches come from your gut and legs for maximum strength. If you have back issues, this could be a problem for you. If you are unable to tighten and hold in your core, you could throw your back out. I would go as far as to suggest wearing some kind of back support brace to start out with. Boxing burns mega calories, but wouldn't be much fun if you got an injury..
Just want you to be careful and look after yourself! Its wonderful you are willing to try something new!
Hope you have a great week!
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CATLADY52 3/10/2013 3:00PM

    Good for you. There is nothing better than knowing that you have done something well. I hope you do like the boxing tryout. emoticon

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HWNHMMBRD 3/10/2013 2:33PM

    emoticon Good luck with the boxing, I hear is can be a great work out.

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Firecracker Day 5

Thursday, March 07, 2013

Yes, I skipped a day. Yesterday was a scheduled vacation day that was planned to be spent doing laundry at the laundromat, walking and doing other errands. But a migraine changed all that.

This evening, I took a short walk. It started sprinkling lightly (I love rain) and the temperature started to drop. My lower back cramped up so that was it.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

_LINDA 3/9/2013 1:25AM

    I don't mind rain either, sorry about your back and the migraine, what a pain :((

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TEENY_BIKINI 3/8/2013 10:18PM

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NONIE_C 3/8/2013 9:26PM

    I so LOVE walking in the rain emoticon emoticon emoticon
I hope you back feels better quickly!!!
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CATLADY52 3/8/2013 6:57PM

    It sounds like you are slowly getting it going. Every little bit helps. emoticon

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LEVELPATHS 3/8/2013 3:02AM

    A walk in the rain - what a lovely thought! :-)

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