Friday, January 11, 2013
I cannot go into details, but I need prayers, good thoughts, everything. I am so scared.
Monday, January 07, 2013
This weekend, I decided to set some micro goals for weight loss. In order for me to lose what I need to lose in 53 weeks, I need to lose 1.25 pounds every week (or average thereof).
Today, back spasms continue. But I am sticking to my food tracker - something I have been treating in a desultory fashion for far too long. I am also stretching and doing the RICE treatment so that I cannot use this nauseating pain as an excuse for very long!
PIXILICIOUS posted a blog in which she said she is setting a short term goal for the first day of spring (72 days). Spring is our favorite season, so she has inspired me to think about a goal for that day as well. Thinking...
Monday, December 31, 2012
I was still at the laundro mat this morning when BF called to say that he would be having surgery in about an hour. Time must have flown because I had not been home yet before he called again and said he was ready to come home!
THANK YOU for your prayers and good thoughts! They did surgery, gave him a boatload of antibiotics and let me take him home. He is already feeling much better, even though he is resting now. He has to go back in a couple of days, but they saved his arm!
While I was waiting for him at the hospital, a light came on my dashboard. More coolant, please! He put that in and, because I asked, he checked the oil. Blocks away from the hospital was an auto supply store and we got some oil.
Another crisis averted!
A quiet New Year's Eve at home and it is one of Thanksgiving.
Sunday, December 30, 2012
I dropped BF off at the hospital on my way to work this morning. We both thought he would get some antibiotics for his infection and be home before I was.
Stunned to find out that he needs surgery (not sure when, probably tomorrow). He is not home tonight and the girls (our two cats) do not understand.
He's disappointed I did not drive there after work. I asked him earlier in the day if he wanted me to do so and he said no. So I came home. As soon as I started eating dinner (yummy zucchini and other veggies!), he called and asked me to come up. I said I was home for the night and he is really disappointed.
The hospital is nearly 20 miles away, in a town I don't know
I don't drive at night if I can help it
My car has a moisture problem that requires running the AC to keep the windshield from fogging,
making night driving in this winter not fun at all
Since he is not home, it falls to me to do everything he should have done
I have to get up early to get into the laudromat before the rest of the world
I WILL be there tomorrow - hopefully, I can bring him home, but they might keep him another day....
He is diabetic, is a smoker with heart issues, so your prayers are appreciated!
Sunday, December 23, 2012
I was about to say I failed…
I have not been blogging regularly. I have not been logging food. I have not been exercising.
No, I am not surprised that my weight is about what it was when I joined SP nearly 3 years ago.
For a long time, I have been more or less “marking time” on SP. Earning points, minimally interacting with my SP family, going through the motions…As I read blogs, I made small comments. Humbled, thinking I have nothing to contribute since I am not walking the SP journey the way I know I need to be doing.
I am off from my full time job until January 2 except for one day this week. I decided I was going to cross a lot of things off my to do list, including errands and some professional development. I also decided I am going to get back into my kettlebells. My Christmas present to myself is a new KB DVD (not here yet). I have a rebate check for REI and I will probably use it towards a higher weight KB.
Even so. I am disappointed with myself for allowing life to get in the way of taking care of myself on my SP journey. I am very unhappy with my weight, I hate the way I feel, I hate the way I look and I really wonder if I have what it takes to start anew AND to stick with it and succeed.
I read blogs from _Linda with her battles with RA and sleeplessness. Exercise is her drug of choice (her words). There are days when I feel as if I can hardly move and her day begins with kickboxing or zumba or…I am humbled.
LDRICHEL is a swimmer and a runner and shared a wonderful blog about reevaluating her fitness journey, choosing balance. Recognizing there are other elements in her life, she is scaling back on her running regime in order to invest the time to maintain relationships. I could use such balance!
KNITTABLES is struggling financially, has a ton of stuff on her shoulders and still remains committed to her health and wellness. I am in her fan club, helpless to offer anything but words of encouragement.
TEENYBIKINI is just awesome. I love her turn of phrase and I am convinced that we would get along wonderfully if we met in real life.
CHICCHANTAL is another gifted wordsmith. She also shares wonderful pictures of her part of the world (I dare you to get her started on Cornwall!). I would love to meet her some day, too, but I cannot imagine I would follow her into the mud!
CMRAND54 is getting used to being retired. She and Sheila have been faithful SP friends almost from day one. They know what to say to keep me plugged in.
PIXILICIOUS faithfully posts on my SparkPage. I cannot match her for quantity of inspiration!
I read a comment from one of the SP employees on an email last week that said something about having the confidence to succeed. That is what I don’t have and have not had for a while.
Then I read a blog from ABA101, one of those blogs I found by clicking “blogs” from the banner. She asked for willpower to succeed. I usually flinch when I see “willpower” because, in my life, that word becomes a club with which I beat myself and feel a failure. So I commented on her blog that I wish her time. Time to think before she chooses….the exercise DVD over the cooking show, the water over the caloric drink…etc. She appreciated my comments and we are now SP friends.
That got me thinking. Outwardly, I am not making progress. But certain elements are becoming internalized. Subject of another blog will be thoughts about everything else in my life, but tonight’s is a musing about the community, the power of my SP family. Were it not for the fact that I really care about my SP family (including those not mentioned above), I would have given up and left long ago. Instead, I find myself reaching out and thinking of starting anew.
The title of my blog is a tribute to my grandfather. When my aunts and dad were children, they would egg their parents on about being anxious for Christmas. Bestifar (Grandfather in Norwegian) invented "Little Christmas Eve" to kind of let some steam off of the enthusiasm. Dad and my aunts were allowed to open a present from a friend on December 23.
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