JUNEAU2010   162,046
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Friday, October 26, 2012

Copy and Paste into your own blog, change the answers to suit you. It's really hard to only use one word answers.

(Copied from _Linda)

Where is your cell phone?


Your hair?

Your mother?

Your father?

Your favourite thing?

Your dream last night?

Favourite drink?

What room are you in?
living room

Your hobby?

Your fear?

Where do you want to be in 6 years?

Where were you last night?

Something that you aren't?


Wish list item?

Last thing you did?

What are you wearing?

Your pets?


Your life?

Your mood?

Missing someone?


Your car?

Something you're not wearing?

Your favourite store?

Your favorite color?

When is the last time you cried?

Where do you go over and over?

Five people who email me regularly?

Favorite place to eat?

Favorite place I'd like to be right now?

I start my part time job tomorrow. Between both jobs, I'll be working 7 days a week for about a month, longer if the temp job is extended. The kicker is the job is at the car dealership where I worked part time for about 15 years. The new business manager laid me off 3 years ago to the day (by phone no less). Shortly thereafter, she was laid off. It's a luxury car dealership, so business has been slow. They've rehired me to talk to customers and find out why they're leaving without buying. That will take my Toastmaster skills for sure!

Going to be tired, but this job is an answer to prayer. I can pay my property tax and add a few pieces of clothing to my wardrobe. It was not fun looking for clothes to wear to work. I HATE being this fat!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LIBBYFITZ 11/12/2012 5:34PM

    Good luck with the extra job!

Sounds challenging! emoticon

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CARRAND 11/4/2012 4:54PM

    I hope things are going well for you.

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CATLADY52 10/28/2012 7:14PM

    You will be greqat at it. emoticon

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ERINMARIE424 10/27/2012 10:01PM

    Congrats and good luck with the new job! It will be nice to be able to cover your expenses and get a couple new things too. Make sure to drink your water and eat enough, you will need your energy!

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CARRAND 10/27/2012 6:56PM

    Your new job sounds interesting. Good for you! I hated buying clothes for work, too, even after I lost weight it wasn't as much fun as shopping for my retired life style!

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ISHIIGIRL 10/27/2012 10:06AM

    I am glad you found something to help out. Maybe the extra hrs will help you shed some weight and you can get back into your other clothes. Sending positive vibes and prayers your way!

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SEAWILLOW 10/27/2012 8:43AM

    Be kind to yourself! You are priceless $

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MISSY455 10/27/2012 2:23AM

    I understand needing to work two jobs for awhile. Like Linda said though, please try to plan your time so you are taking care of yourself. If you are laid up sick, you will be missing work time at both jobs.

Also, thanks for sharing the one word answer survey with us.

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_LINDA 10/27/2012 1:40AM

    Congrats on the new job, but boy that is long hours to deal with when your full time job already has you working long hours :( I hope you don't burn out or aggravate your condition :(( It will be vital to look after yourself, eat well, get good sleep, whatever exercise you can squeak in.
Save money on clothes by looking through second hand and thrift shops -sometimes you can find really nice stuff there. There are lots of other people with weight problems that have to shop -you are not alone there..unfortunately, its easier to get larger size clothing these days..
I am sure you will do well and look good for your new job -you will wow them with your wizardry of words!!
Have a great weekend -look after yourself!

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Streak - Not Yet

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

My Sparkfriend CHICCHANTAL challenged people who read her blogs to start a streak. Hers was a mix of food, exercise, water etc. I thought that sounded like a good idea so I sort of endorsed it with as much enthusiasm as I can muster right now. Today was going to be the first day of me exercising and eating within range.

Did not happen. I did a lot of running around, but not to the extent that I can honestly call it exercise. A new employee started today so her boss brought in doughnuts. Someone else brought in a chocolate cake. Another person brought in a bundt cake. I walked past all of that! Woohoo, me! But...

I was the Toastmaster of the Day for our club's open house today. I knew the food was going to be Quiznos sandwiches and I brought my own lunch planning to eat that. But I did not.

I was still on track for food. Yay, me! But....

I had the chance to work a smidge of OT (YAY! NEED THAT!). Came home hungry and ate two small Quiznos sandwiches and THAT is what put me over.

I was given some of the leftovers and they do stretch my budget. But that does not mean I need to eat them all now!

Still stunned about Bundy's death, still bummed not to get the cat, but so grateful for the peaks and valleys of the day. I am alive! I can celebrate many things and I will survive the others.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MELTEAGUE 10/25/2012 9:59PM

    Good for you for walking past the sweet stuff!
What I do to avoid getting to hungry is keeping a little baggy or ziplock of nuts and seeds with me to snack on whenever I need to. It works for me!
Being too hungry is not a good thing for your blood sugar in general!

Have a great night!

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CATLADY52 10/19/2012 8:15PM

    You are working on it and that is going a long way. Just remember that for every time you have a slip-up just take two steps forward. emoticon

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ANNESYLVIA 10/17/2012 7:53PM

    I read her blog too. Really wanted to do it but fell apart. So, Kudos for you for trying!

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CARRAND 10/17/2012 3:33PM

    You did pretty well, I think. We all have lapses. Every day is a new day.

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SEAWILLOW 10/17/2012 8:34AM

    We succeed by learning from our mistakes! And you , my dear, sound like a winner! I am sorry for the loss off your friend ..has anyone taken the cats in?

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_LINDA 10/17/2012 1:45AM

    Well done passing on the sweets Mali, that is huge! I won't do so well with the upcoming Life Master Party and Rookie Master game -running on empty and nerves and stress that all will go well and everyone will have a great time -its all on my shoulders to make these special events a success :P Some incredible daities will be up for grabs and those little treats add up if I can't keep away from them :((
Its a shame you wasted the Quiznos left overs eating them all at once (unlike Subway, their products are very high calorie), but certainly understandable. Not many people can control stress eating on top of being hungry.
Tomorrow is another day and you can do this!!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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LYNNA1968 10/16/2012 10:45PM

    today is only one day you are lucky enough to get a do over as soon as you wake up! emoticon
head held high & you will do fine!

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Straight Into the Arms of Food

Monday, October 15, 2012

I felt like crap all weekend. Saturday, I stayed pretty much on track with food, but I was also a total couch potato. Yesterday, did what I had to do and was on track until the nausea hit me hard. I sought comfort in crackers. Lots of crackers.

Then, shortly before I went to bed, I learned that a friend died suddenly on Saturday of a massive heart attack. He was only a few years older than I am = far too young to die! But, despite whatever the coroner's report might say, I know, in my heart, he died of a broken heart. His wife, Ruby, was my very good friend/coworker/former boss who died suddenly just over 2 years ago.

They are reunited in heaven, I am sure.

There are two cats who now need a home. BF will not let me take one (we would then have 3). Part of it is because he is home with them all day (he does not work) and he does not want another cat to take care of. The other thing is that his cat is 16 and she will not want another cat around. But Juneau is only 6 and she would love a buddy! These two cats will be put down if they don't find homes! I would love to have the one I used to hear Ruby talk about when he was a runt of a kitten!

I did not stuff my face today, but it was really hard to concentrate and stay focused at work.

Tomorrow is the Toastmaster Open House and I am the emcee for the meeting. A bit nervous about it because I have not done it in a while, but it will be fine.

I may not be - ever again!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

HEALTHY-SPARK 10/17/2012 11:11AM

    So sorry to hear about this. I hope the two cats find homes. Best wishes to you.

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CATLADY52 10/16/2012 6:32PM

    Having a friend pass away is hard to deal with, but haaving him go suddenly is really bad. emoticon

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CARRAND 10/16/2012 4:12PM

    Sorry about the cats, and for the loss of your friend.

I got a dog once, and my husband hated her. (She ate our dinette set, destroyed his record albums, and crapped on his pillow.) So my husband said, "Either the dog goes, or I do." I thought about it for a minute, and gave the dog away. I think I made the right choice. There are compromises in every relationship.

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SEAWILLOW 10/16/2012 9:37AM

    My thoughts and prayers are with you!

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MISSY455 10/16/2012 2:19AM

    So sorry for your loss.

Good luck on your emcee duties. I am sure you will do fine. Sending positive thoughts your way.

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_LINDA 10/16/2012 1:27AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon so sorry you have lost another friend :((
Take care of yourself. Its especially important when you are down. You don't want to get sick.. Hope those cats can find homes.
my thoughts are with you, sending comforting hugs and healing energy.
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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JUDYHELP 10/15/2012 11:09PM

  emoticonsorry for your loss. Hoping things go better for you. As for the crackers stress often makes us not think. Glad you regrouped on Sunday. As for being emcee you can do it. emoticon sending some sunshine your way. Hang in there. emoticon emoticon Judy

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CAROL494 10/15/2012 10:53PM

  Just hang in there. You will do a great job at emcee! emoticon

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Still Sore But Holding My Own

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

I am so glad I participated in the Toastmaster show last night. It was a lot of fun! As sore as I was, I still got in some steps before the taping. Still, I was glad that we got through it quickly and I got home earlier than I expected.

This morning, my knees were really sore, my shoulders and neck felt as if I'd been in a car accident, so I was not very active today. I did walk a little ever couple of hours to keep the stiffness from setting in.

Still working on finding balance in food. On target in most categories, low in others. Not worried. I am feeling better every day, less food obsessed. Calmer, more centered inside.

The SF Giants won! The Oakland As won! My dream of them playing in the World Series, while still a long shot, is still alive.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATLADY52 10/11/2012 7:26PM

    So glad you are feeling better. Falls can be scary. emoticon

Today's baseballs results were super great! Looking forward to the Championship games! emoticon

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DEBBYNATION 10/11/2012 8:28AM

    Yeah! U were sore after a busy day & still did fitness walking! Awesome! :) emoticon

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CARRAND 10/10/2012 3:28PM

    Good for you - you're still working towards good health.

I'm watching the Nationals lose for the second time in the playoffs. Of course, it's not over 'til it's over, but they are down 5 to 0.

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_LINDA 10/10/2012 2:18PM

    So glad you enjoyed the Toastmasters show! You needed to have some fun!
So sorry you are feeling worse now :( Do try some icing of those knees..
That is awesome you are doing so well with the food!! Half the battle is getting the attitude under control. Food is fuel. Food is fuel. Food is not comfort. Repeat. Being calm and more centered -that is gold!
Keep up the great work!
emoticon emoticon emoticon

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With Apologies to Southwest Airlines...

Monday, October 08, 2012

My feed lied to everyone today because I was stunned last week. When I went to the doctor last week, the visit included the obligatory step-on-the-scale. I emptied my pockets - keys, cellphone, pedometer, coins...But I was fully clothed, including shoes. The number was higher than my last weigh-in from a visit to the ER earlier this year. I was so stunned that I logged in the fully-clothed number, forgetting about the shoes and layers of cloth...

The next morning I weighed in at home sans shoes and layers and it was almost 3 pounds less. That was the same day I received the news that, for the very first time in my life, my LDL was higher than the normal and acceptable range. I read up on it and decided to cut way back on animal protein, cheese (I love cheese), increase my fiber even more than I have normally and really, really watch my salt. I weighed in yesterday morning (to get back on my usual schedule) and found that I had lost 1.3!

Surprisingly, I have not been as hungry as I thought I would be. I attribute that to the fact that I joined the Overeaters Anonymous team here. I am still thinking about what it means to be "abstinent", which is very early in this journey of FINALLY dealing with my emotions around food, so it is not as if I have "arrived" or had some kind of epiphany, but awareness obviously accounts for something!

I brought my beans and brown rice dish for lunch (it has other ingredients, too), but a friend invited me out for Japanese food with an attorney who is soon leaving for much greener pastures. I told her I'd go if I could use a fork. She laughed. She grew up in Japan, so chopsticks are easy for her. The attorney kept pushing to find out why I don't use chopsticks and I became tongue-tied. I did not want to say that it's because I have so little dexterity and no practice and that, if I used them today, I'd end up wearing more food than consuming it. Just writing this brings up visions of my painful childhood! Bleh!

Anyway, we all had lunch specials which all included miso soup and a large scoop of white rice. My special also had a rather nice salad and six tiny California rolls. I guzzled the water, drank the barely-flavored tea and ate only part of the miso soup and rice. I was not at all sure about the sodium content of the soup and I did not need that much rice since the rolls are rice+avocado+tuna. They were fantastic! I had forgotten how great they are! I did not know dessert was included: a microscopic scoop of ice cream. They had green tea and I had mango.

When I got back to the computer, I logged in my food and was relieved to see that I had not stubbed my nutritional toes! Speaking of which, stubbing toes that is, that is where my "wanna get away" moment came. As we were leaving the restaurant, walking on the sidewalk with my two coworkers ahead of me, I did not see the incline and did not feel it until I made a multi-point landing. Both knees, both elbows, both hands and most knuckles. Yes, I left some DNA on the sidewalk, but am mostly ok. I did not know until I fell that there were people behind us. The lady kept asking if I were ok, which would have been nice, but she does not know me. When I fall, I want to be invisible! I do not want attention, I do not want help, I do not want to be noticed! She asked several times and I finally was able to answer and say that I was ok. Yes, it was nice to ask, but there were two people wth me and they were helping me.

What happens when I gain or lose weight is that my center of gravity shifts - I notice this about every 5 pounds, but I forget about it.

I am ok other than some miniscule scrapes and some stiffness. I have been walking a little bit to make sure my knees don't lock up, but I was not able to do my full 30 minutes at a time this afternoon.

Shortly, I will go to the taping for the local Toastmaster broadcast. I don't feel like being on TV, but I made a promise. This puts me a tad out of my comfort zone. It is my 3rd time doing the show, but this time, I didn't want to but chose not to say no. The dialog in my head was not healthy: I have put on weight, I have adult acne, I need a haircut, my clothes don't look great on me...But I am over looking that and focusing on what I can contribute to the community. I will deliver an evaluation of a speech. Other Toastmasters will see the broadcast and, I hope, be inspired and encouraged to stretch their self-imposed boundaries. (My boss was impressed when I told him I was doing this tonight!)

Now, off to eat some low fat yogurt to try to get enough calcium in for the day...

And, yes, _Linda, I wear and use my pedometer all day every day, but I lack the balance to walk on grass or other surfaces like that...(yet).

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CATLADY52 10/9/2012 2:51PM

    The time will come when you can walk on any type of surface. Believe. emoticon

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ISHIIGIRL 10/9/2012 8:07AM

    Sounds like you are making great progress. Keep at it!

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_LINDA 10/9/2012 1:20AM

    So sorry about the fall -glad you weren't hurt, they are so dangerous!! Sounds like you are getting it together. I love cheese too and refuse to give up my one slice a day and the sprinkle of Asiago I put on my egg whites.. But as a vegetarian I do struggle getting in the protein. I feel for you not being able to use chopsticks and that lawyer pushing you -that was rather rude of him to be doing that. Very few people can use chopsticks especially if never haven been shown the right technique. I learned it years a go when an Asian chef was touring the country promoting the wok when it first hit the stores -he showed the audience how to use the chopsticks properly (and its actually rude to call them that but I forget how they are referred to) but for some reason I picked it up like no one's business and in spite of my warped hands with only two useable fingers -I can actually use them today although it is painful to do so.
Japanese food is actually very good for you -it tends to be low fat and doesn't leave you feeling stuffed like Chinese does, but its very salty if they have used soy sauce.
Very well done going on the Toastmaster's show -that is very brave of you. Its really what you are saying that is important there, not your appearance -you words will impress I have no doubt of that!

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    Ouch - I feel for you - I used to be horrifically clumsy (left a lot of my DNA on sidewalks). After losing a lot of weight, and walking the pups nearly every day for over 3 years, I can proudly say I'm better. (We won't discuss my little curb trip a couple of months ago when the edge of my sandal got caught on the curb - just some bruise, no scrapes that day!)

Toastmaster - wow! Miles out of my comfort zone - I'm proud of ya!

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WONDEROONA 10/8/2012 10:02PM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon

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CARRAND 10/8/2012 9:15PM

    emoticon Your efforts are an inspiration.

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DIET_FRIEND 10/8/2012 8:53PM

    Sounds like you are plugging along. Scales can fluctuate. I only use my home scales for weighing and tracking but I'm not certain that they are absolutely accurate. Also I believe your weight can fluctuate too especially if you have PMS. Keep on sparking and doing your Toastmasters Gigs!

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