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I havent blogged in a while...

Thursday, September 27, 2012

I seem to be on a roll (knock wood), been gettting to the gym, been eating right mostly, dropped a few pounds. I can feel the lethargy creeping in though, so I am using every tool I've got to keep me out of the abyss!

The scale has been doing the 3 down, 2 up thing that makes me crazy, I dont understand it. But as long as once a week I hit a lower number than before, that's what I'm going with.

My goal is get below that MOST SURPRISING number that I never thought I would pass in my entire life, by the time I go visit my daughter to cook Thanksgiving dinner and be there for the birth of my second grandchild!

Dont have all that much time left, and as of this morning's weigh in, I've got around 10 pounds to go.

I am battling several challenges at the same time.

I am unemployed, with no income at the moment. And if I dont find something soon, I am going to end up homeless.

I am getting food stamps, but eating healthy costs a little more and they dont make it to the end of the month. (I have 92 cents to make it to Oct 5 and the date on the milk is Oct 2)

So far, thanks to my sister and brother, I have been able to pay minimum amounts on bills and things and I have a vastly reduced rate at the Y. But every month is a question.

Very stressful life! High cortisol, hard to lose weight.

I have relaxation music galore on my mp3 player (a gift from a friend, god bless all friends!) and I have my workout playlists, but even going to the Y takes gas in the car, and there are times I have none of that, either.

I am paying a reduced fixed amount on my gas and electric, but ever mindful that if I dont make the 24 month mark, I owe all the back charges, so I am miserly with running lights, turning on the tv - my indulgence is the computer and npr ont the radio for a few hours a day. I would go crazy without them. That means careful use of my yoga and exercise dvds.

I have implored the spirit of every dead person I know to lend support and get me through this awful awful time in my life. I have prayed to all the gods, I have prayed to the One True God, I have implored Mary to intercede on my behalf. I am leaving no stone unturned.

The job market in my field is tighter than usual and skews very young, so I have several strikes against me right there. I am looking in every possible related field I can figure out! Holy Moly this is not easy. I need a SparkPeople for Job Seekers.

So now you know why I havent blogged in a while, having a hard time getting out of my own way to concentrate on this extremely important aspect of my life.


That Inner Two-Year Old

Friday, September 14, 2012

I read a SparkPeople article this morning about revamping your morning routine to make it less stressful. Apparently, the more frenzied your morning routine is, the more likely your 'inner two-year old' is likely to gain control. This can lead to overeating for spite, as if Mom said NO!

It was like a revelation! I recognize that little imp that can sabotage my best intentions!

Well, guess what. I am the grown-up, I can control a two-year old, I dont care what kind of tantrum she decides to have. I can choose how to react, whether it is walking away, a short trip to the time-out corner, or occasionally relenting and controlling the outburst.

Thanks for the analogy, whoever wrote that article! You gave me another tool to use!


Really, it's not gonna happen unless I DO it.

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

I come to this realization every now and again: The Think Method (see the Music Man) doesnt really work for weight loss and fitness. You have to actually DO it. huh, go figure.

I gotta do this alone now, since my walking buddy moved on to another buddy. Done being mad, or hurt, or feeling rejected about that, gotta move on myself.

My sister and my neice have dug in their heels about being goal buddies with me - they are not motivated by challenges, and I guess, would rather get old fat and die than help themselves and me.

So, I gotta dig deep to find my own motivation. IT IS UP TO ME.

SparkPeople I need you. I have signed on to two challeges, both are basically the same, a pound a week. So, I am here to tell you, I am going to lose a pound a week.

How to do that?

Well, start logging your food again. That's first. Lots of veggies and watch the calories.

Then, aim for 20 minutes of activity a day. See how that works, and up it as necessary.

Walk, now that the weather has moderated a little bit (I only hope my old walking buddy thought the whole summer was too hot to get out and walk. Petty of me? You bet). Got a park right near me that has measured trails. What a resource! Go use the damn thing!

Yoga DVD. I used to do the whole hour routine BEFORE going out to walk 4 to 5 miles, what is wrong with me? I love the way the routine losens me up, why havent I been doing it?

Physical Therapy exercises. I am supposed to be doing these daily for the rest of my life anyway, for my lower back. I know it works, but lately, it just seems too hard to do.

Exercise Ball. I even have the dvd that came with the darn thing! And Coach Nicole has some great videos!

Weights. I have them. I have the dvd, I have Coach Nicole.

I've got my pick of things ro fill my 20 minutes daily.

I am going to have to give up my Y membership because I can no longer afford it. I havent been using it anyway, because, well, I have just not gone. I was doing a water jog class fairly regularly, but my suit has worn out and I cant afford a new one. I used to just go and use the machines, then I stopped. I dont know why. My membership is good for an other couple days, maybe I will inaugarate my new regime with a trip or two, today and Friday.

I will make an exercise plan that I can stick with, even if it is just walking around the block.

One Pound a Week. Shouldnt be so hard to do. And with a couple places to report it, as I know has worked in the past, maybe this time it'll work too.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

TATHY49 5/18/2013 2:01PM


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BEAUTIFULBRIT50 9/12/2012 7:53AM

    emoticon emoticon

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It's true, it's true, and I am so embarassed.

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

I answered a poll question today about how I am doing on my goals since the first of the year.
I had to be truthful, although I was tempted to be less harsh and say, oh, I havent made much progress. That would be a lie. I haven't made any progress. In fact, I have gone backwards slightly.

Why? Nothing fits me, I feel awful, I know I need to get fit for my health. What is going on with me?

I will have to find the thing that blocks me, or find the thing that triggers me. So far, I have not had much luck.

My toe seemed to be dislocated, as it "popped" a small bit yesterday and feels better, although it is still very sore. At least I can walk on it - and bend it!

My whole life is a mess, I have gone over the edge of the cliff and am hanging on by one fingertip, no wonder I am having a hard time caring much about anything. But if I dont get motivated for anything, I will slowly slide down that cliff and then what.

I am trying to keep on keeping on!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

SHERYLDS 6/5/2012 6:15PM

    the only failure is staying down.
the rest of your life picks up as soon as you pick yourself up

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BELIEVING-N-ME 6/5/2012 12:48PM

    Just take it one day at a time and one step at a time. emoticon Hang in there!

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BGUMBA 6/5/2012 9:31AM

    SunshineSkyway has good advice. Try keeping a diary of what is happening to cause you to go off track. It takes time to undo bad habits. Pick one that is a problem for you, and concentrate on correcting it. When you feel you are getting a handle on that area, then start on another one. Before long, things will begin to go the right way.
The hardest thing for many of us is to remember that this will be a slow process--we didn't get in this condition overnight, and we aren't going to correct the problem overnight either!


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    Pick yourself up & dust yourself off. You are worth it, & you can do it.


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Still Having Problems Making That Commitment to Myself

Friday, June 01, 2012

Two weeks since my last post. No progress. In fact, scale is stuck or up a half pound. I spend too much time in front of the computer and not enough time on ME.

And yet, I am not wasting MUCH time.

No that's not true, I am wasting A LOT of time.

I created a top-line list of categories of all the things I follow, do or need to take care of and I see that when I write it down off the top of my head, fitness falls at the bottom of the list. That's not good! Of course, my number one is, and must be, job search!

Right now, I seem to have a sprained big toe, probably from wearing old flip flops a lot. These were great when the were new, lots of support, molded with a toe grip and arch support, about a 1" heel lift, with little nodules on the sole to massage your foot. I love them! The yoke comes up high on my foot so they stay in place really well. They are worn out now, I roll over the big toe side at the top, the heel lift isnt so lifted anymore. Wish I could find some more like this, I would buy them!

I have a ton of excuses to avoid myself. But there is that baby out there, and I need to USE that. I dont want to embarass myself by being bigger than my pregnant daughter when I go visit!

So many things to do, so little motivation.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

EMGERBER 6/1/2012 7:39AM

    Thank for sharing. It is time in your busy schedule to actually schedule time for exercise and for you. To live a long life you need to be healthy.

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