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JULIETTECAKE's Recent Blog Entries

New Pics

Monday, April 16, 2012

I have updated my photo gallery with new photos. It's hard to believe that it has been 3 months since I began my weight loss journey. The new photos show me at 24 pounds lost. I also colored my hair this weekend and tried a new hair cut. I was also feeling pretty confident, so I tried my black dress that I haven't been able to wear in quite some time. Amazingly, the dress fits. So, cool I can wear it to Cassie's confirmation. By the time I reach my wedding anniversary, I think I might need to go shopping for a new one.

So, tell me what you think. Can you see the difference? I really like the new haircut, it seems to suit my face better. Definitely, not sure about the rest of me. Maybe, less lumpy.....

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMYTRIPP 4/18/2012 8:35AM

    Love the changes you've made! Great job!!

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RICOCHETBEAR 4/16/2012 10:05PM

    I wrote on your sparkpage first but I think you look fabulous! a real make over ! wow!

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7356WILMA 4/16/2012 9:30PM

  Love the new haircut and color also!! I'll check the other pics!!

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LGAR519 4/16/2012 8:58PM

    I love your new haircut and color. You new pictures are good.

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Feeling Lighter

Thursday, April 12, 2012

I find it hard to believe, but I am actually beginning to look forward to weigh in day. It is the day I used to dread and anxiously anticipate. It's on Wednesday, because that is as far as I could get it from the weekend. Yep, don't do so well in an uncontrolled environment. But, bad or good, Weigh In Wednesday, has simply become the beginning of a new week. Doesn't matter how good or bad I did the previous week, in the new week, I need to try to lose another 2 pounds.

On Weigh-In Wednesday, I also track my BP and for the first time in a long time it is below 120/80. It's what my doctor expects it to always be with meds. I feel so much lighter, and happier after that reading. I didn't realize how much this worried me.

Just like my weight loss, one spike up or down doesn't matter as much as a general downward trend. I am so hoping that I can reduce or eliminate my BP med. I felt like such a failure when they doubled it and my BP never dropped. They simply tell you it is your fault and that it would be far worse if they hadn't increased the med. While, this may be true, it isn't all that helpful when a person is struggling. Oh well, that's done and over with. Eventually, I will walk into that office at my goal weight and then I hope I will not need the med again.

Cassie is having her surgery June 28th. So, we have a little time to prepare. In the book about spinal fusion it recommends walking 3-5 times a week. So, I have gained a cheerful, talkative walking partner in the evenings after work. It's so fun to go walking with her and to hear about her day. Today I took a walk with my husband during lunch at work and another after work with Cassie. This meant I walked just over 5 miles today. My calves are mooing, but I feel good.

Most of the weight I carry is in my stomach area. When I first started SP, this meant doing aerobics and running felt like exercising with a weighted ball attached to me. I felt so awkward. It is so much easier to exercise with 20+ pounds gone from my body. I never really realized that just walking to the treadmill was a warm up. Now, I have to push myself to get to that same place.

I think I begin to see how people can end up running marathons after losing weight. If you are able to exercise when you are over weight, exercising after losing weight must be so very easy. It simply doesn't take as much effort to move 180 pounds as opposed to 150 pounds. So, at a certain point, I think so many possibilities open up. The question then becomes, what do I want to do? Long bike rides, probably..... Long hikes....definitely!!!! Swimming.....maybe, a dance class, hmmmm, maybe.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

RICOCHETBEAR 4/14/2012 12:27PM

    I am so happy for you that you are starting to see all the possibilities that are in the future! Maybe you will end up being a marathon runner! You never know where things may lead you too.

It is great that you have made friends with the scale and no longer dread stepping on it. It is good to look forward to weighing in and to feel proud of the accomplishments for the week.

Keep up the family walks and the good work! emoticon

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CAKEMAKERMOM 4/13/2012 10:19AM

    Keep it up! It's a lot more fun to take those classes than you'd think. I hope you can find one that suits you!

It sounds like fun being able to have a walking partner!

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LGAR519 4/13/2012 9:41AM

    I'll be pulling for you to get off your BP medication. I have that as a goal also. I'll mark June 28th on my calendar so I can pray for Cassie that day! I'm glad to get to walk together.

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AMYTRIPP 4/13/2012 8:30AM

    I love how all these possibilities are opening up for you.
*grabs your hand and dances with you*

And isn't it great to actually LIKE the scale, now?

You are doing so awesome. Go pick up two 10 pound bags of flour at the grocery store, and you'll really feel what that weight you lost feels like.

You must be loving those walks with your daughter. So nice!!

Have a great weekend!

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7356WILMA 4/12/2012 10:06PM

  Great!!! Sounds like you are staying on track!! All things are possible!! Your dreams are awesome you can do this!

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What a day....

Tuesday, April 03, 2012

It has been quite the day today. Most of it was spent at the doctor's office. They ran two additional sets of x-rays at the office. It was neat that we were able to view them immediately in the exam room. I think it probably saved us several visits. It is just a rather large amount of information to absorb. Cassie has two curves in her spine, both 58%. So, she does need surgery. The plan is to fuse the upper part of the spine. This should help to correct most of the curve in the lower spine while allowing her to retain more flexibility. She should indeed be at least an inch taller after the surgery. However, this also means 5 days in the hospital. She will need pain meds for about two weeks total. So, now we are waiting for the nurse to call to schedule a time. We would like to have the surgery as soon as we can. Eric is going to work on finding out if insurance will cover the surgeon, hospital, etc. I am going to work on coordinating school work and finals with her surgery.

I called my Mom afterward to let her know about Cassie. Her first response is, then I can ride with you that day. I told her no. The surgery will take 3-4 hours, I don't want to have to worry about anyone but Cassie that day. She asked me if she could visit Cassie, I said yes.

About 30 minutes after I called, she called back to say that, Dad wanted his second set of keys to his van back at Easter or he wouldn't go. I said, "No". So, we will not be celebrating Easter with my parents. It was an instinctive reaction, said without even thinking. However, I think it is the right one. First off, Dad has a set of keys to the van, and in no way can I stop him from driving. So, if I give him the second set of keys, I am saying he is safe to drive. My Dad is an alcoholic and definitely does not belong behind the wheel of a car.

I think my Dad is angry with both his doctor and I. His doctor said she would give him one more chance, and if he behaves as he did last time, she will not sign him out of the nursing home next time. As much as I am glad Dad has a chance to go home, I think he will end of back again.

I feel so sad, my heart is breaking. My Dad is only 77 years old. He still has life ahead. I know with everything he has gone through there might not be a large amount of time. But each day we have should be treasured. Where I see possibilities he sees none. Where I see opportunities for happiness he sees none. As much as I love him, happiness is something we each must find for ourselves.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

LGAR519 4/4/2012 10:41AM

    Sending thoughts and prayers to your Daughter,you and your family. My Dad was an alcoholic also. My family suffered for many years. My Dad lived to be 65 before Cancer got him but thank God he quit drinking and was Saved. It comforts me to know that he is in Heaven now and waiting to see my Mom, Brother and myself!!

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MARTI1957 4/4/2012 10:40AM

    Oh, Jules how my heart empathizes with your pain and suffering. You have made wise decisions regarding your father. It is tough love but necessary. You are correct that we choose our happiness, to be or not to be! Do not let the guilt rob you of any happy memories you have had with your family. It is his choice to drink, to be cruel and controlling.
Now, about Cassie. Although you have a road ahead of you this is really good news. They can minimize any further curvature of her spine. She is young so will be more resilient in her recovery. You are a loving mother and she knows you are there for her.
Know we are here for you through it all. Our Father God will be with you through it all. You are never alone emoticon -Marti

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AMYTRIPP 4/4/2012 8:22AM

    Please keep us updated on the surgery and recovery. I'll be sending my best wishes your way.

I'm sorry to hear about the parental problems. It's never easy to have to take that parent role away from your parents, but sometimes it has to be done. My dad died at the age of 70 after being an alcoholic for 50+ years (he dried out only once in that time), so I definitely understand your frustration at his wasting his life.

It's sad, but there isn't much any of us can do unless they want to help/change themselves.

And I'm so proud of you for keeping your upbeat attitude through it all.

Huge emoticon

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7356WILMA 4/3/2012 10:31PM

  Sorry you need to deal with parent problems instead of concentrating on your daughter. I know you will get it worked out, but it still doesn't make it easy!! Keep us updated on how your daughter is doing. Thoughts and prayers!!

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RICOCHETBEAR 4/3/2012 10:19PM

    Nice that all the xrays could be read right there right away.
I have added your daughter onto our church prayer chain for healing and you for calmness and peace of mind over issues you are facing.

I remember you saying that you did not want them to sign your dad out of the home....perhaps this is God's answer to you, as you do not think your dad will obey the doctors conditions.

May God and his angels all watch over you and your family, take care

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CAKEMAKERMOM 4/3/2012 8:41PM

    I hope this surgery helps your daughter. I'll be thinking of you in the coming days.

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FRAN0426 4/3/2012 8:05PM

    So sad that your dad continues to be stubborn about the car keys, sure would make it easier for everyone if he lightened up and be thrilled he is getting one more chance. I happen to agree with you, giving him the other key would seem to him like you agree with him. Enjoying holidays together is always great memories---seems to me he isn't thinking of anyone but himself. Hope you and your family will still have a Happy Easter, even tho your parents won't be joining you.

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It's Been the Best of Times, It's Been the Worst of Times

Saturday, March 24, 2012

This week has been such an odd week. I was so glad for Weigh-In Wednesday to come and just log that I was up a pound. It felt good just to be done with it. I had struggled the previous week with getting enough sleep due to nightmares. Something was off and I just couldn't seem to fix it. I finally figured out that I was back, doing the negative self-talk. Realizing it, made it easy to fix. Getting the needed sleep helped too. It's much easier to be positive after a full night's sleep.

Wednesday evening my daughter's pediatrician called to tell us that she has severe scoliosis. I had been expecting a diagnosis of mild scoliosis, but definitely not severe. I can't tell you how bad I felt. I so wish I could have done something to prevent it, as at age 15, I am concerned that her options are limited. We have an appointment made with Gillette Children's on April 3rd. So, if she needs surgery, she will be at the best place I can find.

This probably sounds strange, but Thursday, we picked up a copy of her x-rays on disk. I felt relieved to see the x-ray of her spine. I had thought that the scoliosis was in her upper back, as I can see one shoulder isn't level. But, the scoliosis is actually in her lower back. It's kind kinked, 80% if I heard her doctor correctly. Although, she isn't in pain now, I want to do what ever we need to do to make sure she has a healthy, pain-free life. Also, after looking at her x-ray Cassie wanted to know if she would be taller. If they straightened out her spine, would she be maybe, 2 inches taller? Currently, she is 5 ft 5 inches tall to my 5'2". It's kind of funny to imagine me having a tall daughter of 5'7". The credit for the tall genes would definitely go to my Dad and my husband's Mom. I have so many questions, but I am trying to keep my mind open to all possibilities. I am afraid, though that she will need surgery.

Also, I have been checking my weight and it looks like I might be down 20 pounds on the next weigh-in Wednesday. I am definitely not counting it now, as weekends are not easy times for me. Even though, I weigh everyday it is always a surprise on weigh in day what I will weigh.

Today, I was outside raking the lawn for about 1 1/2 hours. A year ago, I would never have lasted that long and would have accomplished a quarter of what I did today. I also would have felt totally wiped out. Today, at the end I felt like singing, and to my son's embarrassment did! emoticon It makes me feel so good to know that the exercising I am doing is paying off.

The lesson learned this week is this: I need to spend less time focusing on the things I can not change, and more time focusing on new opportunities and what I am able to change.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

AMYTRIPP 3/26/2012 8:37AM

    Your daughter is lucky to have a mom who will do everything in her power to help her. Please keep us updated on her progress.

Raking- isn't it nice to have more energy and stamina? You're doing great - and good for you to realize and stop the negative self talk.

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PRAIRIEKAY 3/25/2012 12:04PM

    Sorry about the diagnosis, but it's inspiring to see you dealing with things and setting up an appointment for the best of care of your dd. keep taking care of your family and yourself!

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MARTI1957 3/25/2012 11:20AM

I am sorry to hear the diagnosis is worse than you expected but the silver lining is that she is still young and hopefully can be corrected now instead of having problems in her adult life. Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. emoticon -Marti

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RICOCHETBEAR 3/25/2012 10:35AM

    I am sorry to hear of your daughters condition. I am very hopeful they can do things for her that will spare her a lot of pain when she is older.

Sorry also to hear of your slip back to negative self talk. That is so unfair of ourselves to do this to us. I am happy that you were able to correct that and start getting good sleep again.

That is a good lesson to learn Julie because there are always going to be some things we have no power to change. It is what it is. Bravo to the knowledge that you can change some things!

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LGAR519 3/25/2012 8:02AM

    I have scoliosis. Although it has never been catagorized, I have to blame it for some of my back problems over the years. I'm glad y'all found your daughter's and will be getting it treated. I never knew I had it until 2002. It accounts for the way I walk also.

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Phone Call

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Friday evening, while at Lifetime Fitness, I received a phone call from my Mom. She called to let me know that Kevin, a childhood friend, who I haven't seen since we were teenagers, had died. Apparently, Kevin had 3 heart attacks and had stopped breathing. Also, his blood sugar was 900. How can that be correct? If a borderline blood sugar is 103 and a high blood sugar is in the 250's. That number can't possibly be correct.

I met Kevin and his family because our fathers worked together. Every summer, over the July 4th week, my family, Kevin's family, and Lily's family would each rent a cabin on a lake in Kenora, Ontario. Kevin, was a cute, sweet, chubby boy. He was always happiest when surrounded by his family.

There used to be four of us, close to the same age, me, Kevin, his brother Doug, and Lily. Lily, committed suicide while still a teen. So, now it is just Doug and I. I'm not sure why this bothers me so much, I haven't seen Kevin in over 20 years. I guess, it's that, other than a few choices I've made, I could see what happened to Kevin, happening to me.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

NOTE2SELFDIY 3/24/2012 5:56AM

    emoticon A Loss is still Loss no matter how long ago or who it is. (speaking from experience) ... emoticon for your sadness!

and when I found out I had diabetes I was at 450 and my Ex-SisNLaw was rushed to the ER one time with hers at 1200. I have no idea what the highest could be and can't bear to think about the complications that come with that!

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AMYTRIPP 3/22/2012 8:00AM

    I'm so sorry to hear of your loss. There are friends who are there whether you see each other regularly or not...

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FRAN0426 3/18/2012 9:05PM

    So sorry for the loss of your childhood friend. I know when I lost one of my friends from childhood thru hight school It bothered me---some how knowing someone your age group I think makes us feel like gee that could have been me.
as for the high blood sugar reading, I can attest that that is possible, when I found out that I was type 2 diabetic, my bloood sugar was over 700. I had been tested less that a year before and had a normal reading. It just came somewhat fast and my only symtom was excessive thirst, had my mom check it for me and made and appointment immediately.

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LGAR519 3/18/2012 7:38PM

    I'm very sorry you lost your friend. When I was a child, a young girl I played with died of the complications of diabetes. Not many advancements in treatments back then.

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WILDLOTUS16 3/18/2012 7:28PM

    I'm so sorry.

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DECAFFEINATED 3/18/2012 7:03PM

I'm really sorry for your loss. I guess when we hear this terrible information it wakes us up a bit to the realities of obesity. Wouldn't it be something if you can use Kevin's death as added impetus for you to get healthy.

hugs, Sue

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CAKEMAKERMOM 3/18/2012 5:35PM

    I'm sorry that he died. I hope you're doing ok.

Yes, if left unchecked, blood sugar can get that high. He probably didn't know he was diabetic. Many times a person doesn't know that they have that high of blood sugar until it's too late and they're in the hospital. Nick Jonas was on Ellen this season telling his story about how he was in the ER with a blood sugar level around 700! It's now under control and he's better, but that just goes to show you how few symptoms there are of that disease.

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TRETRA 3/18/2012 5:20PM

    Even though you haven't seen him, lately, it's still tough. It's someone you knew. A part of your childhood.
Man, this has been a really crummy week for us spark ladies. Think of your friend today, Julie, the fun you had, and smile. emoticon

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