Saturday, February 11, 2012
Today was a beautiful sunny day. It was a perfect day for a long drive, which is great since we spent 4 hours in a car. We took a different route today than usual, and it was much prettier. Normally, in Minnesota we have a foot of snow on the ground, but this year there is barely any. So, today instead of grey skies and snow there were golden grasses, red twig dogwood, and an eagle. Also, not all the lakes and streams are frozen. It was beautiful with the sunshine.
At my Uncle's birthday, I had the opportunity to speak with my cousin Kim, who is living in Kentucky. My Uncle's 93-yr old mother-in-law. Boy, is she an inspiration. She still lives in her own home by herself and walks about a mile up to the store once a week. She has recently had a boyfriend but had to break up when she needed more space. If that's what old age looks like, that would be wonderful.
I packed the sandwiches and fruit. I had a piece of my Uncle's birthday cake, and managed to stay within my calorie range. Planning out apx what I was going to eat gave me a good idea of what I could spend the remaining calories on. However, even though I bought healthy, relatively high fiber pre-packaged foods, I am still hungry. The food just isn't as filling as what I would usually pack. Also, although I stayed within my carb budget, the foods seem to make me hungrier.
After, my Uncle's birthday we picked my Dad up at the hospital and brought him to the nursing home. The official diagnosis is overall poor general health and early pneumonia. They don't sound real sure about the pneumonia and will be doing more x-rays to make sure the antibiotics do the job, and the spots on his lung clear. With lung cancer I find spots on his lung scary. Dad did not want to be in the nursing home, although he did have a say on where he went and even enjoyed his stay last time. I am hoping that after a few days there he will begin to adjust. I would like him to have the chance to be healthier and happier than today.
Although, I am feeling down and would really like a pint of chocolate ice cream with something marshmallow like. I don't need it, I am just sad and tired. I am stronger, smarter and just plain better than that. Also, if I had more energy I could think of something far more interesting. So, I will continue writing for the moment.
Reflecting on my day, I guess I have a choice. I can focus on the sadness I feel about my Dad or I can focus on the happiness I feel at speaking to people I haven't seen in quite a while. Also, the 93-yr old spunky woman. She is my happy thought today. She had so much more energy and was so much more with it than many people years younger than her. What an amazing possibility. Maybe, if I am lucky, have my share of good genetics, and take excellent care of my body, I too have a chance at growing old like her. Add sassy to my list of things I want in my life.
Friday, February 10, 2012
My Dad went into the hospital on Wednesday with fluid in one of his lungs. He is very weak right now after receiving his first round of radiation. Because, he is so weak he has been falling down. After speaking to the social worker, my Mom and Dad have decided that he will be going to a nursing home for a while. I feel a little sad, but mostly relieved that he will be safe for a while. He will also receive PT to become stronger. I don't know if he will become strong enough to come home. I honestly wish he would stay in the nursing home. I think with someone to manage his meds, a well balanced diet, exercise he would be happier.
My father is such a strong, proud, independent man. It is so heart-breaking to see him forget to wear shoes when he drives, to see him not have the strength to button his shirts. To see a man who was so extremely neat, be afraid to take a shower. My Dad loves to drive his car just to see the scenery. He loves traveling. He is a high-energy, type AA personality. Although, his body can not do what he wants, he is still the same person inside. It breaks my heart to see him trapped this way. My Dad isn't that old, he's just 77. It's not fair, that after working so hard all these years that he has COPD, a heart that is 33% atrophied, congestive heart failure, and lung cancer.
So, tomorrow we will begin our day by picking my Mom up for her brother's 80th birthday. I am looking forward to seeing my uncle and the rest of my family. It's been a while since I have seen them. I wish Dad could be with, he would really enjoy the 2 hour ride out and back. Most people do not enjoy the unending flatness of a Minnesota plain in the winter. But my Dad does.
I've planned ham & cheese sandwiches on low-cal whole wheat buns. Fruit will be packed. For snacks, I bought a box of Cocoa Loco Chewy Bars from the organic food section. They are 120 calories, so they will fit in my planner. I wish I had more energy to plan something a little for fun. But the above will make a nice lunch and snacks.
When we drive home we will pick up my Dad from the hospital and take him to the nursing home. I love him, but his tired daughter is relieved he will be safe and hopefully happy for a while.
Thursday, February 02, 2012
Groundhog Day is one of my favorite holidays of the year. Yep, better than Christmas. Our official Groundhog Day Celebration will be this Saturday. For this one day, we crank up the furnace high enough so that we need only wear shorts and t-shirts. For this one day, we pretend it is summer time at our house. Tropical food is served. When the kids were asked what they wanted, they said Tropical Fruit. So, tropical fruit it will be.
Also, for breakfast we are having Egg McMuffins. OK, so it will be served with egg whites, whole wheat english muffins, maybe turkey sausage/ ham and lowfat cheese. Not tropical, but I have so been wanting some fast food. You should have seen how big my kids eyes became. So worth it. We will also be spending the day lounging and playing games as a family.
Wednesday, February 01, 2012
The last several days of taken more effort to do everything. I haven't slept well in 3 days. Same old pattern, go to sleep right away and wake up and hour or two before I'm supposed to. It' frustrating as I'm taking meds for it. I do not want to increase dosage because then I can't quit anytime I want.
However, the "funny" headaches have not let up. I haven't hit the point where I get sick again. But, definitely not fun. My dh is recommending slowing down tonight. I want to say, "Nooooooo!!!! Tonight is working out at the club". I really like seeing all the people and I am going farther and working harder.
Unfortunately, he is correct. Tonight I will be doing Yoga to relax and having an early night. Hopefully, if I do this tonight, I can go to the club tomorrow.
Sunday, January 29, 2012
I have seen other Spark Members do this on their blogs and think it is a wonderful idea. We use scales every week to measure weight loss. But when ever I'm having a skinny day, my scale says I've lost nothing or worse am up. The reverse is true too. When I am having a day where I feel so bloated and uncomfortable even my lips and eyeballs feel fat. I know, how on earth can your eyeballs feel fat. LOL. Yup, no logic here, but indeed they do.
According to the scale the photos show an 8 pound weight loss and 1 inch gone from my waist. I wish I had done this at the beginning, but I really despise having my picture taken. In fact, it is how photography became a hobby of mine. Usually, if you offer to take the picture, most people will forget to include you.
The photos are mainly another tool for me to measure my progress. I hate having my picture taken and rarely look at myself in a mirror. The person in the mirror and in pictures simply doesn't reflect who I feel I am inside. So, hopefully I can work on my own self-image. I would like my outside to reflect the person who I am on the inside.
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