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JULIAMOONCHILD's Recent Blog Entries

Checking out for a spell ...

Friday, June 20, 2014

Hi to who ever bothers to stop by.

Just had a good pity party for myself with sp buddy, Babe. Well, it's not even 'pity', cuz that might sound like sadness and I am not sad. Just feeling intensely frustrated and maddeningly dislocated - which is not something I can explain.

Anyway, no matter. Like some of my other buddies, I feel a need to check out for a spell. Need to get away from it all. Think. Regroup. Reprogram my brain. My life has been filled with all of these major changes, major adjustments since my Mom passed away. I mean, I lived away from house and home for over 3 years. I lived away from people. I lived away from life. Honest to God, I lived away from myself. I know I am suffering from PTSD. And I'm like the last person to grab hold of one of these sometimes convenient disorders for the sake of giving a name to a bad day, bad week, bad month, bad year - but I claim it for it is true.

My spark has fizzled out, but tomorrow things will be better. I need to step a way. Need to figure out why I am in a community of 'support' yet feeling so very, very alone. It's me, not any of you. It's just me.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GENRE009 7/2/2014 7:21PM

    Julia, I was having my own stress which I got caught up in. I had no idea, but can relate to what you say. It needs to be more real than computer support. I think you need to find some happiness or joy or new friends in the real world. I wish you well, and hope you find it. I myself am also having problems in this area. God bless you, you are a wonderful person, and I hope you find something to occupy your time with. lol, eva

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RACHAELANN810 6/23/2014 2:26AM

    Seems to me you're pretty cared about here. Take care.

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QUEENMOXIE 6/20/2014 10:32PM

    Do what ever you need to do. You will be in my thoughts...Hugs*****

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GETSTRONGRRR 6/20/2014 9:21PM

    All good.....take your time, think about what's important to you, what gives you meaning and purpose....too many people don't ever do it

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PICKIE98 6/20/2014 8:16PM

    I left the door unlocked and the porch light on for you..

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REALLY_ROBIN 6/20/2014 3:20PM

    Take the time you need...I will be looking forward to your coming back! You've been through a lot and it's going to take some time to sort out all of those feelings. I wish I could give you a big hug....spark sis! Take good care of yourself!

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GRANDEFILLE 6/20/2014 2:54PM

    Take the time you need, but also take care of yourself!

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BOCCATAGHNA1955 6/20/2014 2:54PM

    Sometimes we all go through this and it can be very isolating. The thing is that although you may feel alone you're not. We all care about you and want you to succeed in life. I too lost my mother and it's a very hard time to go through as her passing woke feelings that I thought were dead and buried.

You are an important person and I wish that you could feel good about yourself.

I am going to friend you so that you can friend me, that way you will know that you are not alone.

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Plugging in to plug out

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

So you go to a café, your laptop in tow. The food is good, the tea is hot, the wine is chilled and the Wi-Fi is essential. Your favorite spot, back in far corner, is taken, however. The restaurant is quite crowded this day and the ‘private feeling’, wall-hugging tables are occupied. People here are plugged out, so to speak, and therefore plugged-in, which is exactly what you wish to be doing, as well. You scan the playing field (this is after all your rare moment to play) and you find that the only table near an electrical outlet leaves your back exposed to the eyes of others sitting behind you. Yeh, they may have no interest, whatsoever, in peering over your shoulder to see what you’re up to … and I’m sure they don’t ….. but …

And what are you up to?

OK, you log onto SP. Spin the wheel for a whopping 2 points. Scowl … and move onto the giving out of spark points to your spark teams. Like duh. Why? I used to belong to three teams. Then I quit those teams, yet they come up on my spark page and, yes, I divvy out those spark points to them each time I log on. It is a pointless and mindless exercise, which I seem always ever so mindful of. Spark dude has programmed us, subliminal messages in those HIT status things he shares waaaay too often, and even though I rebel against becoming a Stepford Spark Wife, I seem to have become one.

And I digress …

So, you are plugged in but exposed. You find no mail in your mailbox – bummer – You find no comments left on your spark page. Your blogs are old and uninteresting and no one new has stopped by to say that you are a wondrous human being inspiring millions around the globe. Of course, you have never really inspired anyone and you aren’t trying to. Still, you consider writing a new blog , (who knows, this could be your next masterpiece), but, dang, you just know that lady behind you is looking at your screen. Any minute now you expect her to interrupt your pursuit of blog fame and comment with something like, “Oh my goodness (!!!!), I see you are on Spark People!!! That is sooooo cool! So, what is your user name?”

Oh please, nosy lady, just go away!!! But she does not interrupt you with inquiry. She does not look at you.

And now she is gone. Just like that. She finished off her coffee and the paper she was reading and got up from her chair and without one single admiring glance your way she leaves the building.

What the heck, you think. Where is my celebrity? Hey People! I am here! Look, midway down the room, totally exposed and easily spotted. And you are not bothering to even gaze in a subtle way in my direction. Dang, you people! You don’t even bother to try to peer over my shoulder to see my screen!

Not true when I sat in my private corner, unexposed to prying eyes, yet knowing you wondered about me.

Ego Crushers!

Midway down the room of life, I guess … and you wonder at the glorious feeling you always got when you were in your private place, yet feeling so much a part of the world. Socially unsocial, that is your lifestyle – your comfort zone. It is a lifestyle of our times and it fits you like a favorite garment, worn and tattered, and oh so comfortable.

In the outer circle of the Socially Unsocial Zone, however, it is quite different - and some days that is exactly where you are forced to spend some time. Smack in the middle of life where you don’t matter a hill of beans to those around you. I bet there are days when you might even feel that way here at SP – Smack in the middle of the room … and no one notices you. And all you really want and need is that wall-hugging table and a handy outlet to plug into while you plug out.

Don’t we all need that at times? Needing to know we are still connected here, and especially during the times when we need our socially-unsocial moments.

Anyway, I guess, from time to time, we are all plugged in and plugged out fer a spell – and that can be good for the soul.

JMC emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRANDEFILLE 6/16/2014 5:49PM

    I love this one! really nice! can't really describe how it makes me feel but it's like you've hit the bullseye!

have a great day!

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GIVEUP30 6/12/2014 7:12AM

    emoticon emoticon

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859320 6/12/2014 1:35AM

    I can relate to this blog. I love getting mail, comments and goodies. Now I don't feel like the Lone Ranger emoticon

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PICKIE98 6/11/2014 5:26PM

    HAHA!! That lady behind you was ME!! I had no idea YOU lived there, but I sat there for four hours hoping a celebrity would show so I could schmooz with them,, when you sat down, I darned near fainted! I wanted to tell you that you are the spittin' image of a friend of mine.
I almost shouted out, "Meryl, do you know who you are?" OMG,giggle,giggle,, OMG it IS you Meryl!!

I was so intimidated that I nonchalantly got up and left with my cover(newspaper).

We never know what pea is pickin' in anothers' brain,, I bet everybody there wanted to get your autograph, but they were just waiting for the first guy to step up to the plate,,

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IMEMINE1 6/11/2014 12:06PM

    Good blog. Glad Eva shared it.

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ALIIDA 6/11/2014 10:31AM

    This is sooooo funny!

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    We don't need Spark, or the 'net, or computers, or tech toys, or cell phones, or TV, or any other way of disconnecting while wanting to be connected. But we use them and many times abuse them.

We so want what we fear the most: to be One with everyone in Peace. We have to give up what we cling to the most though: our individual separated self. Unfortunately we won't do this...at least for more than an instant.

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123ELAINE456 6/11/2014 9:15AM

  Wonderful Blog!!! And oh so true. Thank You for sharing. God Blessings Always. Have a Marvelous Week. Hugs!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Take Care.

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GENRE009 6/11/2014 6:47AM

    This is from SHERYLP461:This was an amazing blog, she is so right. I/We spend way too much of our day on the computer, cell phone and other gadgets. We all live through others, our own lives need attention.

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1CRAZYDOG 6/10/2014 8:35PM

    This my fellow sparker is brilliant!!!!! I am glad that GENRE009 recommended reading!

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NEWTEXDEBBIE 6/10/2014 8:29PM

    I am so in that zone so many times!
Good Call!

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GENRE009 6/10/2014 7:57PM


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SLIMLILA 6/10/2014 7:55PM

    Ok, was going to rush right in and send you email and comment on your old blog, but I'm just too tired.... next time, ok.

Missed seeing your around and hope you are not in pain... we don't need that....Hugs

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REALLY_ROBIN 6/10/2014 5:55PM

    I can't wait for you be done...I need more of your blogs! Hope you are doing well friend...SP has been quite boring without you! And I wish I could run into at that social/not social spot in town...we would have a wonderful conversation amid the glaring eyes of the bloggers!

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GETSTRONGRRR 6/10/2014 5:40PM

    Damn, if only I had known that was you in the middle of the room....I thought it was Meryl Streep and I didn't want to bug her!

Nice blog...plug in more often!

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TWEETYKC00 6/10/2014 5:32PM

    I always love hearing from you! It's fun to have friends here that can understand what you go through on your journey. Hugs.

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Monday, May 19, 2014


Hi Guys,
If you have sent me the Beautiful Woman Award chain letter thingy, let me first say, "THANK YOU!" That was sweet of you to think of me and I appreciate the thought. In fact, I have received several of them recently and although I always delete them from my page, your thoughtfulness touched me.

So, why did I delete them?

Well, you see, about 2 years ago the Beautiful Woman Award thingy started circulating here at SP and knowing that it was a chain letter, I simply ignored it whenever it was sent to me, which seemed almost daily. Anyway, at the same time I was having a wee bit of trouble with the SP Police. They had singled me out on the Café message board, although I was following their rules to the letter. But they were out to get me – Especially after figuring out, somehow, that my politics did not jive with their own. Course it didn’t help matters when I started my run for “Spark President” campaign in the message board forum. I I guess the coppers just couldn't take my wit ...

……..and could only relate to the more intellectual message board posts like, “Coffee or Tea?”).

But, no matter, I kept ignoring the Beautiful Woman Award until one day I sent ONE, just ONE, back to the person who had last sent it to me. Well, within minutes, the Spark Police were on my ARSE!

And, if that was not enough, I also got complaining messages from the 2 spark teams that I had belonged to, even though I had not sent any award to anyone on those teams.

Ahhhh, but the Spark Police had notified them that one of their members – ME – had sent out ONE Beautiful Woman Award and that they should also notify me of my deplorable behavior.

Well, once having given my spark teams a piece of my mind,

I un-joined them and went about my spark-team-less merry way. Amen .... and good riddance to small minded people.

So, if you have not YET been visited by the Spark Police, I'm just tellin' ya, you might be one day ... Like, one day soon. The way they came after me, you wudda thought I had created the dang thing, myself, and had sent out thousands of em!!!

Finally, in my humble opinion, Spark Monitors are only human beings and some of them are great and some of them aren't so nice. You might love SP, but you won't particularly like the Spark Police when you've had a little traffic accident but are treated as if you've committed murder. Might be best to leave the chain letters alone - but it's your call.

And .... more important than any of this, don't forget to vote for me!

If Not Spark Pres ... I'll at least take the Country. emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

OBIESMOM2 5/21/2014 6:42PM

    a write in campaign...I love it!

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NEWTEXDEBBIE 5/20/2014 10:49AM

    Okie Dokie..... emoticon

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GRANDEFILLE 5/20/2014 10:11AM

    I don't return those either.. Never been a fan of chain letters... Althought the thought is nice, I see chain letters as polution.

I would vote for you in any capacity you'd chose to run for!

Have a great day!

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GENRE009 5/20/2014 1:16AM

    I vote for you. I have been getting rude with people that don't even know me & send me those things! I am really sick of it. I told one person that this reminded me of high school. I got stuck sending out three different times. That's 24 people! So when 5 more came in, I just said heck, and sent it out to 80 people. I even mentioned that it was like hot potato. That was the most I ever got involved in one day of garage. I know that I had Spark, but I think it was their auto tracking in the emails, stop one of the emails I wanted to send out. They won't let you have those little arrows that go side ways, but they don't let you swear either. if you need too then put those little lines between letters. but I was talking about food, and mentioned this Chinese mushroom that the beginning of it's name sounds like a swear word, and I couldn't send my email out. need I say I out smarted them. Are we being monitored now? This sounds like something from the 60's where people were paranoid of the real police, ha , ha. eva

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-WRKNG2ABTTRME- 5/19/2014 7:18PM

    Thanks for the info. Hopefully, people will be more aware.

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GETSTRONGRRR 5/19/2014 5:54PM

    Reminds of the motto of the National Security Agency (NSA);

"We're the only government agency that actually listens to you"

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PICKIE98 5/19/2014 4:10PM

    I delete each one, regardless of sender... I am not here to be entertained, delayed or bogged down with cutesy-tootsy stuff. Chain recipes or money saving tips,, but not hearts and flowers.. Time I need to get rid of that, I could be lifting weights,etc.

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REALLY_ROBIN 5/19/2014 4:08PM

    You are such a trouble maker!!! Good Lord....I never have gotten one of those things, but good golly that they would get such a twist in their panties over it! I've never noticed that you had political leanings, I must have missed that blog! LOL Keep being you is all I can say! Hail to the President!

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KING_SLAYER 5/19/2014 3:44PM

    I've never won a Beautiful Woman Award :( I guess I know where I stand!

I would vote for you for Spark President or U.S. President, whichever you decide to run for!

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GAL7288 5/19/2014 3:39PM

    lol, good to know! I was sent one recently and I sent it back to only that person who sent to me, so far no one has come knocking on my page, and I hope it stays that way!

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Friday, May 16, 2014

It’s a made-up word that a close friend and I came up with many years ago to describe a feeling you get when your life is temporarily lacking – life.

OK, maybe it would make more sense if I said “when a person’s life is lacking passion”. Passion being any strong feeling a person can experience - Love, hate, anger, sadness, happiness, or even a wonderful sense of peace. Glocky, on the other hand, although it is a feeling of sorts, like an awareness of having no feeling, is rather an empty emotional suitcase. I mean, it’s not some really BAD feeling. If it was it would invoke a passion. Glocky is passionless.

Throughout my life, it seems I could count on feeling glocky during the transitional times between seasons. You know, like the time when winter ends – The beautiful crystal white, diamond studded snow is all gone and spring is just around the corner. But in the ‘transitional time’ between the end of winter and the real beginning of spring, the trees are still DEAD. The sky is not blue, it’s gray. The flower bulbs are still inches beneath the surface and let’s face it, there are potholes that could eat a sub-compact car and you ain’t gotta clue what clothes to wear today, your car is a filthy mess and your toenails need trimmed. It’s no big deal though. You ain’t sweatin’ this stuff. You’re just glocky.

Lately, with all that is going on in my life, cleaning out my Mom and Dad’s house, being off my Spark program, blah, blah, blah, I find myself feeling glocky. Not emotional at the moment, which would make more sense, but, instead, just plain ol’ glocky. Again, this is not a bad feeling – It’s just a coasting through each day.

But then there are days like today when I deliberately allow myself to feel something else - my own creation. Slipping off to a coffee shop and ENJOYING some new taste sensation or even revisiting an old one. It is but a moment’s pleasure – a moment’s passion – and is that a bad thing? I mean, without passion we die – Right? Well, no matter - The glocky state is short-lived. Passion, in some form, returns again, and even without pinching yourself you realize you are still alive.

OK, my coffee is getting cold and my piece of pie is only half eaten.

PS. This has nothing to do with this blog …. (or does it?). Anyway, I was young girl of 18 traveling for 12 hours on a greyhound bus. 12 hours on a greyhound bus, I say! That wasn’t Glocky. It was Fglocky. Anyway, a young-ish guy came on-board somewhere around Cleveland and from there to the city of Detroit he sat beside me. He was older than me, but not by much, and he truly seemed a genuine gentle soul. He carried a small brown paper bag in his coat pocket with a bottle inside - and while he enjoyed his passion from that little bottle, and although I did not partake of the spirits, we began singing this song together. I don’t know why. It doesn’t matter. The thing is, it became a memory – a good memory – and sometimes during the Glocky times in our lives it’s A-OK to grab hold of a passing moment and enjoy it the best ya can– Even a crazy bus ride moment.


  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

REALLY_ROBIN 5/19/2014 4:22PM

    I think glocky is a way of self preservation between the intense feelings of grief and loss. I don't think we could live if we had those intense feelings all the time. I'm glad you are getting a little reprieve if only with an excellent cup of coffee. You've had a lot of emotion to go through with having to go through all your Mom's stuff. Your passion will come back in time...I'm just glad you took a little break to let us know how you were doing! Hugs Spark Sistah!

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NEWTEXDEBBIE 5/18/2014 9:55AM

    Well looky there, I now have a new word for this morning.....

And I absolutely feel GLOCKY this week.... HUGS Sweet friend! emoticon

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SLIMLILA 5/17/2014 11:55PM

    Wow, great blog, and does this ever hit home...I am even so jealous that you can reach your toes to trim them... Buddy has been great about 'grooming' the toes of the leg with the cast on it, but Tuesday is the day I go to the hospital and I so NEED to get this cast off and get on with my life... it's gotten too totally glocky!!!

Hope this feeling doesn't long for any of us.

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NELSONCHERYL59 5/17/2014 6:22PM

    sounds like when i am feeling in a funk, kinda not caring, not good,not bad...
i can relate...
and feelings are feelings, neither good, nor bad, they just are what they are in any given moment and we just need to feel them.

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    Thanks Eva, I think the link is working OK now. emoticon
And, YES, I agree with all that you have to say about Neil. He is Awesome!

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SUEPERWOMAN 5/17/2014 4:09PM

This is such good stuff, I am speechless.
Thank you.

xoxo Sue

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GENRE009 5/17/2014 3:36PM

    I can definitely relate to that glocky thing. I call it the void. Like you are in space. The nothingness. The spot where you are neither here or there. Waiting to transition into a passionate life, or social life.
Anyway the reason the page didn't come up is this: I have learned this by playing around with my new toy this computer for 8 months now. You copied the web site, and it starts with eth hh's. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=An2
You have to put it down on you page, erase those, start with the www's, like this: must always try to line it up on one line, other wise it doesn't always go in right.
then copy it and put it into the linkage thing. It'll work then.
That isn't linked up .
Where are men like this one. I have never met anyone like this in my life! His singing alone makes you fall in love with him! eva

Comment edited on: 5/17/2014 3:44:21 PM

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OBIESMOM2 5/17/2014 6:49AM

for me, it's 'I feel so unnecessary'. I know the feeling well and I'm very grateful that it's not constant.

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GETSTRONGRRR 5/16/2014 6:30PM

    Well for a minute there I thought Glocky meant you were about to start emptying your clip up in the Appalachian foothills!

Passions come and go...."glockiness" is a part of life, we ride it out.

On the other hand, how can you listen to Neil Young singing "Old Man" and not have a shiver go up your spine! I've got that and "Cinnamon Girl" on my iPod and use them for those special times in the gym when I really want to get motivated to push it hard!

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KING_SLAYER 5/16/2014 6:18PM

    Where can I get me some of this glocky? Not feeling anything would be a welcome respite from all of the negative emotions I feel on a daily basis. I do have the occasional joy and happiness, but they are always very short lived and are soon replaced with sadness, anxiety, depression, etc.

Creeping up on six years without a job, and with my back and shoulder and even my psoriasis, finding work that I can actually do is quite the uphill battle. I've had to resort to welfare (my pride took a major hit just typing that out), but you gotta do what you gotta do, besides, I've paid into the system since I began working at age 12. But I can't fathom how families live off of welfare for generations, I have 29 pages of forms to fill out, and that's just one of the 7 things I have to return to them, there are more mufti page forms to fill out. All this for $300 a month and $240 in food stamps. If I do find a job I will lose these wonderful benefits if I make more than $900 a month. But this makes sense because $900 a month is more than enough to pay rent and utilities and groceries and all of the other things a single father has to pay for. (that last sentence should be read in the ancient language of sarcasm).

Life is not great, hell, it has a long ways to go before it can be considered good. I'll take however much glocky you can send my way.

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GRANDEFILLE 5/16/2014 5:44PM

    You have a very good way of describing something that happened to me a few times and I couldn't put a word to it...
Thank you for giving it to me

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It's time to wean that baby!

Wednesday, April 23, 2014

emoticon emoticon emoticon
Secret Code: Hi Thelma! LOL!

OK, Non secret Blog:

Gotta keep this one short and sweet – not a lotta spark time right now because I am still involved daily with getting my Mom’s house cleaned out and all the contents sorted. It’s a physical job, a mental job and an emotional process … but I am processing it all and doing a pretty good job of it thus far.

Sooooo, I have been doing well on my spark program, but I surely did make an exception for Easter dinner. And I’m sure some of you did to. Went out of town just for the day with the husband unit for some much needed R&R - and, while out, hit a BUFFET that was WAAAAAAAAAY GOOOOOOD ….. and, of course, WAAAAAAAAY BAD at the same time. You know what I mean, don’t ya … YUM YUM!!!

Now, my weekly weigh-in is happening Friday morning and this could be the week that I have no weight loss, which is OK as long as there is no weight gain. However, if I’m gonna be honest here, I will admit that some of my Easter binging carried over into Monday and a weeeeeeee little bit into Tuesday, as well. Hmmmm, sometimes it is a weaning process, ya know. Well, anyway, I am kinda weaned now and it is Wednesday evening and I have not gone over my calorie limit for the day –yet. And if I can remain strong until bedtime I may just have this Easter weaning period over and done with.

Ahhhhh, a thought just struck me – I should just go to bed RIGHT NOW and not risk being pulled to the dark side by temptations that lurk in my kitchen.

OK, that’s what I’m gonna do.
Goodnight emoticon

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

ASRMOM 4/29/2014 10:38AM

    I like the weaning analogy. Very fitting!

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NELSONCHERYL59 4/25/2014 9:12PM

    sounds like some good stuff girl emoticon
and, i think i will go to bed too, or else i may eat those doritos sitting beside my husbands chair emoticon

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GETSTRONGRRR 4/24/2014 7:52PM

    All good Miss Julia....every now and then we MUST indulge....the key to buffets is that we don't do them EVERY DAY!

Keep at it and stay strong!

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TREV1964 4/24/2014 6:47PM

    You sound like you are doing great and I am sure it won't matter too much spoiling yourself over easter. Just get back on track when ever you feel ready to do so.

Cheers love and respect as always,


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PICKIE98 4/24/2014 3:42PM

    If you wait long enough, some of the old stuff will come back into style again!! I think that is a sign of a procrastinator!! ME!

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NEWTEXDEBBIE 4/24/2014 8:09AM

    I love reading your blogs. Always so truthful, light, and fun, even when you are telling on yourself! emoticon

I dread the day I have the chore of cleaning out moms place. She has more left after her initial purge then even Sam and I have left after 36 years. I am, as you already know, need deep in the chore to thin our accumulation of life and THAT isn't an easy or joyful job either......

Good luck in your progress and hugs emoticon
for being the one to have to accomplish it......

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TWEETYKC00 4/24/2014 7:59AM

    We all have our times, things happen. I am so proud of you and all you have done!

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KING_SLAYER 4/24/2014 2:47AM

    We all have to splurge now and again! Just get a good night's sleep and spend tomorrow being a good weaner!! :)

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LYNNGINN1 4/23/2014 10:46PM

    emoticon Glad things are going good and that you and hubby had a nice Easter out together.

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GENRE009 4/23/2014 10:07PM

    One day at a time, that's all you can deal with. It's probably really hard cleaning your mom's house, such fresh memories. lol, eva

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QUEENMOXIE 4/23/2014 9:21PM

    Sounds like you really enjoyed your Easter...yup, time to move on and get busy for that summer sunshine...it will get here...soon...I think...I've been busy with trying to help my mom discard her "stuff" before she dies. Her words. The way we are going, she should live another 20 years or so. She called me yesterday and said she is ready for another load to be gone, except I haven't had time to clear out the last haul from my car. I keep telling my mom that I drive a small car...no longer drive a truck...She says, for me to make more trips. As if I have nothing more to do all day. She asked me where I was the other day. I told her I was having blood work done...she told me to stop being sick and help her. I am not sick ? She said, then why the heck are you going to the doctor for blood work? I tell myself...breathe in and breathe out...let it go. I will get back to Sparking soon. Things are good. emoticon

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