Monday, September 21, 2009
I am really excited as of this morning I have .6 lbs to lose until I have officially lost 50 lbs. I can't believe I am so close . I hope I hit the mark tomorrow, I really stepped up my cardio today and stuck to my nutrition plan. To celebrate, if I hit the mark I'm going to walk into the grocery store and pick up 5 10lb bags of potatoes and remember what it felt like for just a second to be 50 lbs. heavier .then I get to put them down knowing they are no longer a part of me - ever again. I have never worked so hard at anything in my entire life.
This is so much more then weight loss. for so long I medicated myself with food. you know what? since I began this weight loss journey one of the hardest things is to really just feel what your feeling, not cover it with food, I know sometimes I am a little eratic, and not so compliant anymore, because if i'm mad, guess what, ,I'm mad, if i'm sad, I cry, and when I feel happy- I feel really freakin happy now. I feel so alive, I feel strong- I feel.
I want to give a shout out to my hubby, who has put up with all my mood swings and made me feel beautiful even when I didn't think I was. I also want to thank my son Joey for constantly reminding me by saying "Novemeber" when I really needed it. They are my biggest reason for not giving up on myself, I want to be here to bug the crap out of them long into the future. Also my Dad Steve who's suicide made me realize how very much I want to fully live my life. Miss you Dad , hope I 'm making you proud.