Monday, November 09, 2009
Ok so I went through the dunkin Donuts drive thru to get my hubby a coffee,and my kids some donuts and when I opened the bag there were these delicious pumpkin cookies inside I only wanted to eat one but ended up eating 3. Then I was all mad at myself because those cookies totally blew my calorie count for the day. Luckily a couple seconds later the alarm went off and I was only dreaming. Seriously those cookies tasted so real. Luckily dream cookies don't count!!! However I fear that I will have to make some low fat pumpkin muffins today to satisfy my subconscious.
Ahhhh sweet dreams.
Sunday, November 08, 2009
When I first started this journey back in the 3rd week of May, I didn't know how much my life was going to change. I knew I needed to lose weight and I knew that I needed more energy, and I knew I wanted to be at the premier of the New Moon movie (major twifan here!) So I got out the free calendar our insurance company sent us and plotted a path - I thought , If I could lose 2lbs. per week that would be about 50lbs. by the premier- so I made going at midnight my reward. Everyone knows how to lose weight "eat better, move more". My family already had a membership at the Y so while the kids went to camp I hit the treadmill. I quit hitting the drivethru and planned my meals- then I remembered sparkpeople and started joining teams and making friends. Well now, the premier is 11 days away and I have lost 60lbs. I still go to the gym pretty consistently and I still avoid fast food.
This week was not so hot- I gained about 2 lbs:( but you know what, I have worked really hard to get here- it was a set back not a give up. I know how to do this and I can succeed!!!! I'm still gonna try to lose 5 more lbs. by the premier, but if I don't and I only lose 2 or 3 more I'm still over 10lbs. over my goal. SO.... I'm gonna dress up, do my nails, go out to dinner ( calories be *amned) and hit that premier with my friends knowing how far I've come. I earned this night out!!!!!
Friday, November 06, 2009
One of the reasons I love sparkpeople so much is that it forces me to be accountable to myself and all of you. So today I'm gonna "keep it real". The last few days have been a disaster. I have eaten what I shouldn't have,and not went to the gym when I should have, (only went Mon, Tues, Wed) . Yesterday instead of dropping the kids at school and hitting the gym like I should have, I came home instead and crawled back in bed with hubby. (that was kinda nice actually- I mean bad Julie , bad). Every month the week before my period is like an alien abduction. My will power is gone, my normal optimistic outlook is gone and I swear, my brain is in slow motion. The depressed grumpy *itch that takes my place reeks havoc with my weight loss goals and doesn't clean the house. Every month I fight to keep her at bay, but eventually she always shows up, and then I spend the next week putting everything back to normal- so it's like two weeks of the month are a waste and I have only two weeks of progress. This week so far I have gained about 3 lbs. I HATE THAT. I know it's just something we have to deal with as women, but when my husband can eat like a pig and then complain (outloud) that he dropped two lbs. I just want to scream- I mean come on, you know how hard I work to lose 2 lbs.
I should have about two more days of this insanity, until the normal me comes back , right now it's about trying to contain the amount of damage I do. Sorry about the vent, but confession is good for the soul.
Wednesday, November 04, 2009
Back when I was a big fat fatty, I rarely ever let anyone take my picture but yesterday going through photos for another reason I came across this one. WOW seriously, I look like the blueberry girl in Willy Wonka. It is amazing how much weight I have lost in my face- I think it is because i exercise my mouth way too much:) Anyway, It's going on the mirror because I never, ever, ever want to go there again.
Sunday, November 01, 2009
Today my son Shawn went to a birthday party for his friend Hope. This is a remarkable thing for my son, because he is Autistic it is very hard for him to make friends. But this little girl is a one in a million, she sticks by him no matter what and encourages him to play with the other kids, she helps him in school too. I thank God everyday for sending her into Shawn's life- she makes school bearable for him. He misses her when school is out and her family says she thinks of him as her best friend. She's a little angel.
I love the phrase- friends are the family you choose. Some of my family dynamics are really lacking, the way my mother taught me to relate to my own body and food left a lot to be desired. She forced me to get on the scale everyday and told my (step)father and sister my weight, she constantly made comments about the size of my chest, and called me chunky, even when I was 18 and weighed 118 lbs. I think the reason I avoided the gym so long even though I have a free membership to curves is because she worked there, a couple weeks ago I went over to her house to visit, she hadn't seen me in over 2 months and she asked"so are you stll losing weight?" I had lost about 20lbs. during that time, and you could tell. I think she wants me to fail, which makes me more determined to succeed. Even my (step)father said to me privately " I really hope you prove her wrong".
Anyway this was not supposed to be a bash my mom session, I love her anyway. This is about friends: you guys and my other friends. I love you all and your support is invaluable. So my sparkpeople "family",remember to hug you friends this week and tell those who support you how much they mean to you. In the words of Blondedog YOU ALL ROCK!!!!!
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