Thursday, July 21, 2011
So. . .as it goes, you get off of your regimen and the weight comes back on. So I have gained about 15 lbs back. (It doesn't reflect it on my ticker b/c I REFUSE to change it - don't judge me!!!) How do I feel about it you ask? A little sad, yes. Depressed, HELL TO THE NO!!!! I am still 38 lbs down from where I originally started a little over a year ago so I am very happy about that. Now, I just need to get focused again and do what I did the last time to lose this weight again!
It is so amazing to me how I have progressed emotionally and mentally. This time last year I would have given up and gone back to eating cheeseburgers and fries everyday and just said, "Hey, God mad me this way so I guess I am just supposed to be fat." But the truth is, He didn't make me this way. I made me this way. What He did do is give me the determination and motivation to lose 53 lbs and I am a firm believer that if he did it then, he can and WILL do it now!!!! I have seen me sacrifice, I have been the sweaty monster and I'll be here again all in the name of losing weight that this time WILL NOT come back on!!!!
I am one week back from a wonderful vacation where I got to just lay around and do nothing. In that tine of doing nothing I prayed a lot and ask God to help me like he did the last time. Of course I have been tempted a bit since I have been getting back to the basics, but I have been winning the small battles so I know the war is all mine!!!!
Wednesday, April 20, 2011
Seems like just yesterday I was sitting in this exact same seat trying to figure out how to drop a few pounds before I head to the sexiest city in America, Miami! I devised a plan of no carbs, no sugar and lots of water along with 4 days of working out a week and the weight started to come off me. I kept it up until it was time for fall classes to start and then I had to let the working out go, but I maintained all the weight loss except 7 lbs. Now I am stuck. Still at the same amount of weight loss. Not mad, b/c I know how to maintain, but beyond frustrated b/c I am working harder than I ever have, doing things I have never done and still nothing.
Yesterday my sister called me and said this year, we are hitting Cancun for her bday!!! Seriously lady? Cancun where I can frolic around partially nude if I so choose???? Okay great!!! So what does my brain say? "Lets do it all over again like we did last year!" I said, okay cool. This time around though, I am going to try to consume as little meat as possible and amp the workouts up to 2 times a day. This should be interesting. . . LOL!!! Today was the first day. Or should I say IS the first day. I did my a.m. walk with mom and I got to work on time which is a good thing for me! This afternoon I plan to hit the track and get 2 miles in and then go to the gym and take a spin class, which by the way I haven't done in ages.
I am not only looking forward to semi-nakedness in Cancun, but also to watching my body change. I so enjoyed my clothes falling off of me and the compliments I got from people and I can't wait to see the process continue!!!!
I am amazed at my determination and motivation though. A few years ago I would have given up a long time ago and said, "Oh well, guess I am just supposed to be fat." Not this time around though. . . .I am in it to win it. No giving up over here!!!!
Monday, March 21, 2011
There is a saying, If you want something you have never had then you have to do something you have never done. This statement defines me at this time in my life.
So for lent I decided to give up all meat except seafood. For me seafood only consist of fish, shrimp, crabs and oysters (fried hard). Before I did it, I thought it was going to be extremely hard to do, but once I got started I saw that it wasn't so bad after all. Now being about 2 weeks in, I am STARVING!!!! I have cut two major food groups out so all I am really eating is freggies, and seafood. No mean and no carbs. Well, honestly I have been eating carbs b/c every 45 mins I am hungry like I never ate. I keep hearing that I need to add protein to my diet b/c that is what I am missing by not eating the meat. I am not sure how to do that, but I have been eating beans more now that I am not eating meat.
My goal in doing this is to further discipline myself. Cutting carbs was hell in the beginning, but I managed to do it and get wonderful results from it. Cutting the meat out of my diet is my way trying to see how much more weight I can lose by doing so. I have also did it b/c the hormones and things that the meat we eat is injected with is not good for us. I knew that all along, but my attitude was if I cut the carbs and the meat I will die. CLEARLY that is not the case as I type this blog, so I want to see what 40 of no meat feels like. I have heard that I will have more energy and that will be an added incentive!!!!
Wednesday, March 09, 2011
So for the past 5 months I have bee anticipating the arrival of my niece, Ava. I bought clothes, shoes, hangars, diapers, wipes and was getting ready to buy even more. She was born 4 months early on March 7th and passed away on the same day. I never knew I could love someone that I had never met so much. When I got the news that she had returned to God, I burst into tears. I thought after the first cry I'd be okay, but I wasn't. I cried for about 2 hours after that until I fell asleep. I couldn't understand why I was so affected by her passing. It was like I was carrying her and knowing how sad I was made me even sadder knowing how sad her mom must have been.
I went to see my girlfriend yesterday (Ava's mom) and she was in good spirits and laughing and talking so that made me feel much better. There is still a small hole in my heart for Auntie's Ava, but knowing that she is in heaven with my dad, my aunt, my God-mother and Grandmother gives me some comfort. Previously I would have let my emotions get the best of me and I would have turned to all of the wrong food. But instead, yesterday I did a 45 minute elliptical routine before I went to the hospital. I guess I am amazed at my progress at this point. I just wish I had my Ava here to kiss and hold. . . .
Ava. . .
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