JUDYAMK   22,237
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Do you really know who she is???

Monday, August 13, 2012

She is heavy set, she smells bad,her bra strap always sliding down her shoulder, her teeth are bad, her shoulders are slumped over, her clothes have faded stains on them, her hair is a mess, she always has a child in tow. The child must belong to someone else, she is clean her clothes are neatly pressed, her hair is silky blond ,clean & combed, but this child is her grade school child!!! This unkept woman takes care of her sickly mother, & her grandmother that is bedridden, she also takes care of her sister that is a drug addict, her nephew had no place to live she took him in also. The rest of the family comes to her for help or a place to stay, or a home cooked meal. She is tired looking it is in her eyes in her face, she talks so loving to her daughter in a soft voice. She gives of herself, she does not seek medical attention, she neglects her health to give the extra money to her family
When she walks on by others stare at her, snicker behind her back.They do not know the loving kind woman she is. I know this woman, I wish others would not judge someone by their appearance, because of this woman I learned not to be judgmental.
Judy

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GUITARWOMAN 8/15/2012 8:01PM

    Very meaningful, and a lovely sentiment.

Have you ever seen a mother who is slim, neat, well dressed, and with an unkempt child? I have and it drives me crazy!


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MEXGAL1 8/15/2012 2:45PM

    How thought provoking!

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POLSKARENIA 8/14/2012 5:05AM

    Let's hope she realises she has someone like you who understands and does not judge, There are many like her out there. Those who always help others and don't ask for support themselves are usually judged not to need any help or support - 'They should be able to cope alone' - not true! Their hearts are just too big not to share some of their abundance of love! They need some to come their way too!! That emptying coffer needs refilling by others!

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CLAIREINPARIS 8/14/2012 2:32AM

    Very moving. Thank you Judy. emoticon

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GRACEISENUF 8/14/2012 1:13AM

    Praise God he looks at the heart!

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KGWINDER 8/13/2012 11:56PM

    Not completely, but I have been partially this woman. Taking care of my sickly father, working double jobs, pick up after a husband that worked part time...I would try to save money having my hair cut by myself, never got new clothes.....

Part of my increasing beauty is understanding that rather than being grateful for the extra care I gave to others rather than myself - they wanted more, saw me as controlling their lives and generally never repayed the favors when I needed them most. My brother even called me grossly fat to my face and after learning about the low thyroid issues and other things never said sorry.

People do judge. My doctor's judge me all the time and the obese label is the easy cop out for overlooking real problems.

I feel sorry for this woman you talk about, and I'm grateful she has someone like you to be understanding. Kudos to you.

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I cling to material things like fuzz on a wool skirt !!!

Sunday, August 12, 2012

I hold on to material things ,even scraps of paper that loved ones that wrote a message to me. I feel if I take it from my home I am getting rid of a part of them. Is this foolish of me to think such thoughts? I have boxed up so many other things & gave away, but I still hold on to things from the past that I have not used in years. I have things that I say one day I may use or will this not look pretty sitting out at a different time. but they are wrapped up with loving care thinking perhaps next year I will set it out. I have every piece of clothing I bought my nephew from the time he was a baby until he graduated. I know exactly what he was doing in his clothes he wore when he was a baby,toddler & in early school grades. I feel I am throwing a memory of what he did away or even giving them away would make me cringe. I have gave away a lot at one time of other household items, but I need to finish up I am having a very hard time with the other things that are still here.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

GRACEISENUF 8/12/2012 9:06PM

    I tend to hand onto things too....lately I have been able to let go of alot of things and it has been very freeing. "Thing"/stuffs can really become a burden. I do not have anything from my children's childhood but some cards, crafts, special things they have made, baby books and a few blankets. We moved so much with the military I had to let some things go. during the years. I tend to be very sentimental too but it sure felt good to scale down and go through things....especially pictures from distant relatives that I don't really even know from years and years ago.

Best wishes as your purge the unimportant things.

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MARYELLEN301 8/12/2012 1:38PM

    Obviously they are very important to you. Have you thought of perhaps taking some pictures of them? Digitals can be stored on a small disc or even just on your computer. The quilt ideas sound interesting, but if you don't quilt or know someone who does that's a far stretch to justify keeping things. And if you DO quilt or know someone, then there's no time like the present to get started on getting it done. My ex was a pack-rat and when I finally left I took only my things. I felt so very liberated by getting out from under "stuff". I found that a cluttered living space leads to a cluttered mind. I don't know how much of his stuff might be considered "clutter" but it sounds to me like there may be quite a large pile of articles. Myself? I'd go the picture route! Good luck on deciding how to handle the issue. emoticon

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TIMOTHYNOHE 8/12/2012 1:04PM

    Something I started to do. Periodically, I would clean it all up and put it in a box. I dated the box and set it aside. If I saw that box in a year and I had no idea what was in it, I tossed the box.

I don't miss any of it.

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CLAIREINPARIS 8/12/2012 11:30AM

    I am sorry because it sounds painful to you to give or throw anything away. If you feel it isn't arming you to keep them, why worry about it?
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FIT2SWING 8/12/2012 10:50AM

    My sister is saving key items of my nieces wardrobe and one day wants to make her a "memory quilt." This requires her to 1) learn how to sew 2) get a sewing machine 3) learn how to sew. I think doing things like that is a great way to remember the past, and keep it close. Maybe look into doing that for your nephew?

I still have things pined to my walls in my parents house from friends that no longer talk to me. Notes and jokes. I've tried to take them down and can't.

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MEXGAL1 8/12/2012 10:03AM

    I understand the emotional attachment one can have to things. I'll say though that moving has helped me clean things out. It feels good to me to clean things out and I hate clutter. I know I am a brat but I do miss my 9000 square foot home that we had in the Seattle area as I had a place for everything. I had to get rid of a lot when we downsized.
I have finally learned that the memories are in my mind and hopefully that stays intact...but I guess if it dowsn't I won't know any different.
Good luck with cleaning things out.
sallie

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NELLJONES 8/12/2012 9:59AM

    I have one large plastic box that I save old mementos in. Having been through downsizings for both my MIL and my mother, I know that at some point most of it will go whether I want it to or not. Both of them were seriously traumatized by having to see all their precious memories discarded, yet there was no choice. By doing the culling myself, once a year, I know that no matter how small my nursing home room will be, I will have that one box.

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YOBOELI 8/12/2012 9:48AM

    If you want to keep his clothes make a scrap quilt or have someone make it you can still keep all of them or just the most important one to you. With everything else take it one thing at a time give yourself goals to get rid of one thing a week and gradually start doing it everyday at the end you will feel so much better, like a burden lifted off of your shoulders. emoticon

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THEEXERCISER 8/12/2012 9:47AM

    It is ok to let go

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What a surprise!!!!!

Friday, August 10, 2012

My beloved brother Bobby in California has cancer he has since February Last night the phone rang Mom says that is Bobby calling , ( she talked about him all day today, she is 82 } I said as I was going for the phone how do you know? she said,' I just know it is. ' The voice on the other end was him. We all talked to him He said,' I am not interrupting dinner am I ?' I said ,'no' he ask what we were having I said,' grilled salmon,grilled asparagus & grilled potato, 'he said ,'I wish I was there to have salmon with all of you. 'My other brother talked to him then as I went to tend to the grill, Mom went out to look at the garden. all of a sudden I hear " I came for some salmon" Mom left out a big cry there he stood. he was driving to my home all the while. We were so happy he flew in from California drove up from Philly from the airport.He said he had to come because he gets so sick from the chemo he restarts it on Tuesday he has it every day except 6 days he is off of it out of every month. We had a beautiful time together. we all stood in a circle holding each other as my brother David said a beautiful prayer. Mom told us she just new in her heart it was him on the phone, & all day she kept talking about him. Seeing him was wonderful!!
Judy

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

YOBOELI 8/15/2012 9:34PM

    That is so wonderful that just made my heart so full of joy. I wish I could have my family together one day it will happen I am so happy for you and your family. Hopefully your brother will be healed

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PURPLELVR7 8/10/2012 10:19PM

    how wonderful, what a special night

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LAC936 8/10/2012 10:49AM

    You only hear about stuff like that on TV. How wonderful to have it be a reality. Enjoy your time together.
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MEXGAL1 8/10/2012 9:59AM

    Oh how wonderful! Brings tears to my eyes. So glad you can enjoy him?
Thoughts and prayers!
Sallie

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NJJ-EXERCISE30 8/10/2012 8:54AM

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CLAIREINPARIS 8/10/2012 8:40AM

    I am so happy for you and your family, your Mom especially. That must have been an awesome time! emoticon

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PENNI68 8/10/2012 8:31AM

    What a beautiful surprise!!

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I feel like February, I want to be March & August!!!!

Saturday, August 04, 2012

Right now my getting fit is slowing down to a consistence of molasses in February dripping from a sap tree.!! I sure wish I had the pace of the March winds blowing in . With the terrible heat & humidity here in Pa. I sure wish my fat would roll off me like butter dripping from a hot ear of corn in August. How are you fairing???
Judy

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CLAIREINPARIS 8/6/2012 3:32AM

    I am so sorry for you... humidity is terrible! I am loving my hikes this summer, but that is also thanks to the fact that the temperatures aren't very hot at the moment in Paris.
Would you be able to exercise inside or at the gym with A/C? emoticon

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MEXGAL1 8/4/2012 5:49PM

    I just got an email from my Mom who is living PA and she said that they had a thunder storm but it didn't help with the humidity.
I am sure I could not deal with humidity anymore.
Try and keep cool!

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I did not act on IMPULSE guess what happened to me!!!!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

I had the urge to eat something the other night, I had calories to spare,but did not want to go over. I opened the refrigerator & STARED at the fully loaded shelves. MMM !! What would it be, you see before I would NOT have thought about it I would have grabbed & devoured. This time I thought about my choices, so I choose 1 slice of low fat cheeses & I took 6 lettuce leafs from the garden & wrapped the cheese in it just like an egg roll. I had that with 16 ounces of ice cold water. I was completely satisfied. After I was done eating I examined what I did, number one I thought before I reacted, I did not just hurriedly act on impulse to eat anything. second I acted on my choice, third I felt emotionally good what I did. Another example I love cinnamon graham crackers slathered with Nutella, & a large glass of milk. The choice I changed on this treat I took half a cracker with 1/2 tablespoon Nutella spread it on & put the other half of cracker on top, no milk but ice cold water. I was completely satisfied. The key for me that I must continue to do, is STOP at that very moment when the food urges come & examine the whole outcome. Do nothing on IMPULSE, that gets me in trouble every time. Before I go to sleep I always reexamine my whole day trying to see where I could have done better. This time I went to sleep with a smile because you see I did not dismiss my choices , I felt emotionally good. Every day I am going to think of what I will eat & try to modify the foods , but still have a taste.

  
  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

MARINEMAMA 7/30/2012 7:56AM

    Great job!!!

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IMREITE 7/26/2012 12:36AM

    The trick i am trying to make a habit is to eat slowly. sometime i shovel food and have eyes bigger than my stomach so i overeat and do not realize i am sated until i am really full. i also do not enjoy eating "treats".

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MARYELLEN301 7/25/2012 7:00PM

    What a plan! I love it!

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NANCYHOME247 7/25/2012 11:28AM

    You've given us all a good reminder, so thanks!

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MAUITN 7/25/2012 11:07AM

    Great planning and self control.

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MEXGAL1 7/25/2012 10:33AM

    hey, good for you to slow down and make better choices. It's all about the choices we make.
keep up the good work!

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MAKINANIMPACT 7/25/2012 8:43AM

    Judy,

That's what I need to start doing, lately the cravings have been ridiculous! I've got to get back on track. I'll be thinking about what you've done and apply it to me. Just take a moment and think! emoticon
Have a great day!

Kelly
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