Sunday, August 12, 2012
I hold on to material things ,even scraps of paper that loved ones that wrote a message to me. I feel if I take it from my home I am getting rid of a part of them. Is this foolish of me to think such thoughts? I have boxed up so many other things & gave away, but I still hold on to things from the past that I have not used in years. I have things that I say one day I may use or will this not look pretty sitting out at a different time. but they are wrapped up with loving care thinking perhaps next year I will set it out. I have every piece of clothing I bought my nephew from the time he was a baby until he graduated. I know exactly what he was doing in his clothes he wore when he was a baby,toddler & in early school grades. I feel I am throwing a memory of what he did away or even giving them away would make me cringe. I have gave away a lot at one time of other household items, but I need to finish up I am having a very hard time with the other things that are still here.
Friday, August 10, 2012
My beloved brother Bobby in California has cancer he has since February Last night the phone rang Mom says that is Bobby calling , ( she talked about him all day today, she is 82 } I said as I was going for the phone how do you know? she said,' I just know it is. ' The voice on the other end was him. We all talked to him He said,' I am not interrupting dinner am I ?' I said ,'no' he ask what we were having I said,' grilled salmon,grilled asparagus & grilled potato, 'he said ,'I wish I was there to have salmon with all of you. 'My other brother talked to him then as I went to tend to the grill, Mom went out to look at the garden. all of a sudden I hear " I came for some salmon" Mom left out a big cry there he stood. he was driving to my home all the while. We were so happy he flew in from California drove up from Philly from the airport.He said he had to come because he gets so sick from the chemo he restarts it on Tuesday he has it every day except 6 days he is off of it out of every month. We had a beautiful time together. we all stood in a circle holding each other as my brother David said a beautiful prayer. Mom told us she just new in her heart it was him on the phone, & all day she kept talking about him. Seeing him was wonderful!!
Saturday, August 04, 2012
Right now my getting fit is slowing down to a consistence of molasses in February dripping from a sap tree.!! I sure wish I had the pace of the March winds blowing in . With the terrible heat & humidity here in Pa. I sure wish my fat would roll off me like butter dripping from a hot ear of corn in August. How are you fairing???
Wednesday, July 25, 2012
I had the urge to eat something the other night, I had calories to spare,but did not want to go over. I opened the refrigerator & STARED at the fully loaded shelves. MMM !! What would it be, you see before I would NOT have thought about it I would have grabbed & devoured. This time I thought about my choices, so I choose 1 slice of low fat cheeses & I took 6 lettuce leafs from the garden & wrapped the cheese in it just like an egg roll. I had that with 16 ounces of ice cold water. I was completely satisfied. After I was done eating I examined what I did, number one I thought before I reacted, I did not just hurriedly act on impulse to eat anything. second I acted on my choice, third I felt emotionally good what I did. Another example I love cinnamon graham crackers slathered with Nutella, & a large glass of milk. The choice I changed on this treat I took half a cracker with 1/2 tablespoon Nutella spread it on & put the other half of cracker on top, no milk but ice cold water. I was completely satisfied. The key for me that I must continue to do, is STOP at that very moment when the food urges come & examine the whole outcome. Do nothing on IMPULSE, that gets me in trouble every time. Before I go to sleep I always reexamine my whole day trying to see where I could have done better. This time I went to sleep with a smile because you see I did not dismiss my choices , I felt emotionally good. Every day I am going to think of what I will eat & try to modify the foods , but still have a taste.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Waking with a jolt of energy I shot up out of bed like a rocket, Gosh I thought to myself what has gotten into you ? Then as I briskly walked to the bathroom & stood there looking full view of my body I knew why. After taking a long look at my body ( Read previous blog ) I quickly got dressed, but then I said wait a minute you are not going to change your mind think why you are doing this. ( that is what I would do in the past hurry & get dressed because I would be talking my self right out of it ). I started out with my walk , I could hear & see the birds singing their morning songs, I said," oh little birdie are you greeting me on this fine summer morning??? I saw a huge Crane at the rivers edge walking so stately & then bending down (as if taking a curtsy to a Queen) getting a drink of cool water. I smelled the Queens Anne flowers as I walked on by, they smell like carrots brought back memories when I was a child making mud cakes with them trying to feed my brothers. I had to chuckle a little bit , Then I saw a Weeping Willow tree with all it's branches touching the ground as if it has the weight of the world on it's branches, the sun was shining through the leaves , I thought yes there is light at the end of everything , The purple & yellow flowers were sprinkled throughout the fields. I came upon a swirl of tiny birds all flying just above my head I thought they are flapping their little wings so vigorously, I said," oh little birdie I am almost done with my walk" I pretended they were using their wings clapping for me because I made my morning walk that I had not done so in a long long time.
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