Thursday, October 18, 2012
This morning I woke up full. (LOL) I should of been. I got up about 2:00 AM, 3:00 AM, and then too sleepy to tell you what time, but another time and eat food all three times. The food was good healthy food, but it was out of control eating. It really had been a while since I had done this. So, I was so disappointed in my self. When I was eating I didn't know why I wanted to eat. It had been an average food plan day and I didn't need the food physically. I just could not make myself think of all the tools that I had used before and stopped the surge to eat off my food plan.
I got up at 6:00 AM with NO sleep and started getting ready for exercising classes for the day. If I was doing it at home, there would of been no way that I would of exercised. While getting ready I didn't want to start my day off with my breakfast meal (wasn't hunger). So I made myself drink a protein drink so my body would start up and I would burn calories while I was at the classes that I did not feel like going to. (too sleepy) I had no intentions of blowing my day by still over eating. I have worked so hard the past five months that I was going to do everything that I should do for the day.
I wanted to do it ,but everything I did was a little harder to do because of the eating all through the night The slip was not worth it!!! I felt like a person who went out to party , spent all their money and had nothing left to show for it. My energy level was so low compared to what I had been having.
I was thinking what on earth caused you to do this. I thought back on my day and then remembered talking to my daughter about her health and her extremely overweight problem. She is in denial BIG TIME !! She can see her self ,but there is always a reason why she is overweight besides the reason that she is eating unhealthy. There is always a reason why she can can't move her body to lose weight. Then, I see her do these and almost kill herself because she wants to do them so bad. This does not happen often,but I see she can move if she wanted to badly enough. Oh, well enough of her. When I thought about now upset I was that she was not accepting that she could do something to help her self that's when I knew WHY I got out of control on my eating. Crazy!!!! I was over eating because she wouldn't try to improve her eating and get active enough to help herself. So, OK we both would be in the same boat if i continue to let this effect me.
It is SO. crazy how we go about trying to, "fix"something and all we are doing is hurting our self. I have got to let this go and let God. I refuse to keep hurting my self over her not take care of herself. The way things are going I might need to be in good health to take care of HER. I won't give details but she is really in bad health and getting bigger everyday. I hope she never reads this, but if she does it is the truth.
Well, I am glad to say, I let God have it and I went about my day as I should of. I have been successful so far and it is 10: 50 PM. I need to end my day soon and get much needed rest.
I feel good about my day that I had. ai completed the exercise classes. I "Sparked", on and off all day. I know what it was that caused the out of controlled eating. I let go and let God. I can now go to bed with that question answered. So, I should be able to have my normal night's sleep. Thanks everyone for the supportive comments.
Thursday, October 18, 2012
Munchies got the best of me last night. I munched on celery and No fat home made onion dip (3 Tsp.) , large apple, 1 oz of mozzarella cheese. you see started to get worst as it went. LOL But I my back to my senses. I think that a stressful time I have with my very over weight daughter is what triggered it. At the time I couldn't see it. Just wanted to eat and could seem to not eat. I went over about 100 of the lower end of my calorie count not too bad. I have done a lot worst. i will be back in touch later today. I am OK now is is a NEW DAY.
Saturday, October 13, 2012
I had gastric by pass surgery about 5 years ago. I paid CASH for the hospital and surgery which came up top about $28,000.00 not counting expenses for a week motel stay and medical asst. near the hospital, i was told all the things that I couldn't eat and to not drink water while I ate. That was IT !! I guess because they already had my cash money they did not care about anything else. the checked me out after surgery and released me me from doctor's care in the usual amount of time. There I was 100 miles away from the support group that they offered to me, but I could not go because of finical reasons. So I read what I could and did what I though that I was suppose to. I lost weight at first (happy) but not what others was losing that I had read about. It was about 80 lbs. then My hunger returned and it was very hard for me not to overeat. I would stay away form the wrong foods but hunger would take over and I began snacking.Then I was snacking all the time. I then began to sip water along with eating because when was I going to drink water without eat (LOL) I maintained the 80 lbs off for about 3 yrs. without much trouble. Then with the grazing all the time and emotional eating I started gaining. That when I really got serious and started cut out the snacking and eat healthy meals and healthy snacks at a planed time. OK , the normal person should of adjusted and not been too hunger with this. I was hunger all the time. when they told me not to drink water with food they only explained that if I drink water while eating I would not be able to would enough food to get enough vitamins. of the food, So, I didn't know the whole story of why NOT to drink water while eating. They didn't even tell me to stop drinking water a certain time before eating. I gained 40 lbs of that 80 lbs back with the last 2 two yrs. before Spark people. i got the grazing under control and the meal plan with healthy foods. the put in exercising and I lost 30 lbs. very slowly. I was happy,but I was HUNGRY all the time. I was eating 6 small meals a day, but still would get very hungry. I didn't know what was wrong with me. I was on the Bariatric Team and stated this. One the the team members inform me that was why it was important to NOT drink 1 hour BEFORE meals and 2 hours after meals. Well, that was new to me. so, five years ago They just did not have the info like they do now on the internet so I started researching about the water intake after RNY surgery. i found out that if I had stretched my pouch and drink water before & while I ate the my food was passing through me within 30 minutes. if I was drinking water just before I ate my food was soup and then drinking water while I ate flushed it right on out. It didn't stay long enough in the pouch to make me feel full. then when the food went to the large intestine i had 20 feet to fill up before it would not emptying out my pouch. OK, bare with me. I found out the everybody's pouch stretches within 2 years. Within a year the hunger will come back if you don't learn how to use the pouch as a tool. I was so glad that I found out if people follow some rules that no matter how big your pouch had got you could still lost weight . the research paper didn't come out until 2008 I had surgery in 2007. so maybe they did have this info at that time. So, that is where I am now. I am trying to follow these set of rules to fill myself up with healthy foods and try not to be hungry ALL the time. I still have to deal with the mental part of wanting emotional eat and get active to improve my health. The rules are total different than I have every had to deal with eating food and drinking liquids. I think that I can do it. i am so thankful for all of you out there. i have hope that I can deal with this. i know not everybody has not had WLS surgery but I know that you all have the same issues I have about saying on a food plan and exercising. Oh, now I can pig out now on pizza and very high calorie foods. Then gain weight very fast even though it doesn't stay in my pouch it stays in my intestines and the high calories get into my body because I am not letting that food go out by grazing ALL the time. I know I am a compulsive over eater, but I could understand why I really stayed psychical HUNGRY all the time. Well, thank God now I know. I was so mad at first that I was mot told about now I needed to follow these rules. The rules I had been given was diffidently NOT what I needed to do. Oh, for the first six months it was right, but after that NO. I found out it was a new set of rules that needed to be followed. I have to" let it go and let God have it" I can do this. I feel really hopeful about controlling my appetite now. It has been 3 years that I have been so hungry all the time and feel hopeless about it. Thanks again for All the support you all have given me. I am looking forward to reporting good news using these NEW "rules" now. Love to all of you. Judy
Thursday, October 04, 2012
I enjoy seeing other's face and the visual contact so much. Then I started feeling guilty for the reason that I have not done a Vblog and give back that feeling of the visual contact. So, I am going to give it a try.
I watched my Vblog and I seem so, so serious it it. I am sorry. I hope next time I can be more cheerful.
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