Wednesday, May 16, 2012
I just added a new photo my gallery and made it my profile photo. As I'm sure many of you can relate to, I dislike seeing photos of myself right now, and would probably not have even had a photo taken if it hadn't been a special occasion: my daughter and I going to see the road show production of "The Devil's Carnival." Terrance Zdunich, the guy in the photo with us, is one of the creators, and was also a creator of and played "Graverobber" in "Repo! The Genetic Opera."
The biggest surprise for me in this photo is how round I look. Evidently some people see themselves as heavier/rounder than they actually are. I have the opposite visual problem. I always look far lighter to myself, which is why this photo came as a bit of a shock. I don't see the double chin or how round my midsection is.
Part of me would like to hide this photo, but I need to look at it to remind myself of the truth -- just as I need to step on the scale every day to remind myself of the truth.
It's funny: I strive for self-awareness, but I have almost none of it where my observations of my body are concerned. When I am working out, whether it's with weights or yoga or something else, I have a good sense of alignment and balance -- but it doesn't translate into awareness of size. That's the area where my sense of denial completely takes over.
As for my daughter: I am so grateful that she does not take after my poor eating habits and sedentary ways. She is naturally active and while she enjoys chips and cookies as much as any kid, she is far more likely to eat fruit for a snack, doesn't drink soda, and far prefers healthy, home-cooked meals to fast food. I think she's gorgeous -- and her spirit and personality are as beautiful as her face. She's loving, smart, creative, articulate, kind, and spiritual. She amazes me every day -- especially when she tells me that she feels sorry for the other kids whose mothers are nowhere near as cool as I am.
Please forgive the bragging at the end. I kind of needed it after the not-so-great feelings raised by the photo.
But we had a fun evening, and I'm glad to have the photo as a souvenier.