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First Goal: Accountability and Awareness

Wednesday, September 03, 2014

This is my first blog post in almost a year. I took a break from SP after I found out I was pregnant with my second son. At the beginning of my pregnancy, I was very determined to try to keep doing SP throughout. Obviously not to lose weight, but rather to manage my weight gain through the pregnancy. I put forth a noble effort, but I ultimately gave it up. I had a hard time dealing with my weight gain after working so hard to lose it. Eventhough I was pregnant, my mind had a hard time with it. So anyways, that was that... My son, Grayson is BEAUTIFUL just like his older brother Jamison. I am truly blessed. So, here I am, now almost 7 months after my son was born. Now weighing 14 lbs more than what I was after I gave birth. Time to get back on track. I've been thinking of getting back to SP for quite a few months now. It's been a mental battle, and just like the 1st time I joined SP, I had to be in the right mindset to make my move. This being my first week back, I already feel more empowered just by making the decision to spend a little effort focusing on my health again. I know from experience that I can't make all of the changes I want to right away. So for this week, my goal is to be aware and accountable for what I am eating. For me, that means tracking everything I put in my mouth. I have yet to hit my nutrition target this week (I'm still over in calories), but I'm ok with that for now, because I'm learning about my eating habits again. I know I have to make changes slowly so they will stick. That's just me, and I know how I am with food, so slow changes are best... I can't believe how much better I feel about myself by just taking this stand for my health again. I'm really hoping this feeling is infectious and I stick to it.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THECRAZYMANGO 10/21/2014 7:54AM

    Did you reach your goal??

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CHEETARA79 9/3/2014 2:33PM

    It's great that you're getting back in the habit of tracking. I don't think it matters right now that you're not in your calorie range. What matters is holding yourself accountable, just like you said.

After I gave birth 7 months ago, I had instantly lost about 15 pounds just from the delivery. 3 months later, I had gained 10 pounds from overeating probably due to the stress of being a first time mom. Now, at 7 months post-partum I have finally lost the regained 10 pounds. Woohoo! I'm thrilled with this. Slow weight loss is A-OK with me, as long as I'm moving in the right direction.

You can do this, mama!

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FOR_THE_DUDES 9/3/2014 9:54AM

    Way to get back into making your health a priority. And slow changes usually are best. Welcome back,

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    It is so hard with two little ones but you can do it - little steps!

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My Call Back to Reality

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

Last Friday was an eye-opener for me. It was the first time I chose to Blog since finding out I was pregnant. By the time I was about 3 months along, my Sparking was sketchy at best. I was inconsistent with logging my food, and my will to walk on my treadmill was becoming more an more infrequent. I'd have to say, I went through a lot of emotions when I found out I was pregnant. Elated of course that I'm FINALLY having another baby, but if I'm to be completely honest here, I was also completely mortified at the thought of regaining my weight back, and that was a completely overwhelming feeling for me. I never anticipated feeling the way that I did. Dare I say, I was mad that I was pregnant? How can that be, right? How can I be so upset by something and so overjoyed by that same thing at the same time. But that's probably the best way I can put it into words. I certainly could tell a difference in my appetite after the 1st trimester. It seemed that I was hungry every couple of hours. I just started feeling like I couldn't get enough food, and over time, that just turned into allowing myself to eat junk along with the healthy food I was trying to keep in my daily routine. I've noticed that I have an overwhelming craving for sweets. I mean sweets have always been the hardest thing for me to resist, but since being pregnant I either couldn't resist them any longer (or didn't want to resist them any longer!) But, all of this started really coming to a head after I kept seeing the scale creeping up. Yes, I know it's supposed to, but I think I am gaining too quickly. And, after looking back at the last 2 months or so, I can certainly see why. So, I guess I finally hit my boiling point last Friday and blogged about my feelings. And, boy did it feel good once I did. Ever since I started SP, I have found that just putting my feelings down in writing helped me so much. Not that anyone particular needs to read this (although I do appreciate all of the support I've received over the last couple of years), but I needed to put it down so that I could be honest with ME. So, I guess I'd call that my wake-up call. Since blogging, I've had a much stronger momentum going for staying healthy. I've been tracking my food consistently again, and I am making time for my evening walks again. I know my little boy inside of me needs me to be this way. And, I need me to be this way too.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THECRAZYMANGO 10/9/2013 11:37AM

    BIG BIG HUGS! Just wanted you to know I am thinking about you. I cannot imagine the struggle. emoticon

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CHEETARA79 10/2/2013 7:19AM

    You are doing so much good for your baby right now. Yes you need to eat healthy and exercise but you also need to feel GOOD about your choices. And you're doing just that.

I'm still struggling with the weight gain and I've gained more than you, I think. My problem right now is that I'm still not really showing that I'm pregnant. I think if I was showing and it was obvious that I was pregnant, I'd feel more comfortable with the weight gain. I really want that round, obvious bump of a belly rather than the thick waist, fat-lady body I have right now. That probably sounds weird but it's how I feel.

I'm 21 weeks today! Baby is doing really well according to last ultrasound and midwife appointment.

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TAMARAST1974 10/1/2013 7:40PM

  Don't beat yourself up. Being pregnant has a lot of emotions that go with it, both good and bad. I try to tell myself this to shall pass, I do this both with the good and bad. It helps me appreciate and recognize the good times in my life and not stress to much when it's the bad times. Remember even when it's a bad time you can find things to learn, and looking back you may see the sun shine during a stormy patch

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Trying to stay positive about my body through my pregnancy.

Friday, September 20, 2013

So, here I am, nearing 5 months of my pregnancy. I'm filled with every emotion you can imagine. Having this baby is what I strived for back when I first started SP. I wanted to lose weight and get healthy so that this could even be a possibility for me. I'm 40 years old, post kidney transplant, and this is my second son. My oldest is 8 now. I'm nervous about starting the baby phase all over again. It's been a long time since I've changed a diaper and was up at night. I also worry about my oldest son, Jamison. He is excited to be a big brother, but I know there is a transition ahead of him. There is one ahead for all of us. But, I know how much I already love this little guy inside of me, and I know we will all be able to get through everything I am worrying about, it will just take time. But, for now, what is probably hardest for me is my inevitable weight gain. I've gained 9lbs so far. A little more than I was hoping for at this stage of the game, but still not terrible according to my doctors. I can't help but obsess that I am only 1/2 way through the pregnancy and I know there is likely another 15-20lbs that will be coming. I didn't realize how much trouble I'd have with this until the scale started going in the opposite direction. For the last year and a half, I've had successes (and failures) here on SP, but I kept seeing that scale going down. And now it's going back up. This is the first considerable weight gain I've had since starting SP back in Jan 2012. And yes, if you are reading this, you are probably saying... "But YOU ARE PREGNANT!"... Believe me, my head knows that, but that doesn't take my sinking feeling away when I step on that scale. I know this is a head game I am playing with myself, and I know my hormones aren't helping me right now either. I've chosen to stay on SP instead of switching to BabyFit right now, only because this is where my history is. This is where my friends are. I've adjusted my nutrition level on my food tracking page to mirror what I should be having according to my doctors. I've also joined a few Fit Pregnancy teams and I'm hoping that if anyone has gone through anything similar to this, they might share their story with me to see how they are coping with it. I know I've turned to the wrong foods in the past couple of months. No doubt my old comfort zone when I am depressed. But, I know doing that isn't good for me or my baby. I know I'm struggling right now, and I've been telling myself at least I am aware of what I am doing. So, here's me trying to wrestle emotions vs reason. Hmmm, I'm sure every pregnant lady's daily battle!

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

CHRIMSONFYRE 9/25/2013 11:56AM

    Congrats on the baby and you are an amazing and strong woman to be doing this. I pray that this is a smooth pregnancy and that it goes wonderful for you. Do not fret your body, remember the beautiful baby growing inside of you!

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SADDYSPOT 9/24/2013 1:51PM

    I had a really hard time with it until around the 6th month and somehow, I just had a brain switch. I can't explain it. I stopped thinking about the scale going up--I still keep an eye on it and write it down--but actually started to enjoy that I don't worry about bloating, that I love my belly (other than not being able to see my whole body or bend at the waist, etc), and I know that a lot of that weight I see on the scale will go quickly with the birth (baby, placenta, fluid retention) and the rest...well, I've lost weight before. This is a much better cause than before, when I just didn't control what I ate.

I hope that you will also be able to come to be content. Just keep telling yourself the same things that you already are and eventually, you might believe them :)

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IRISHBEANERGAL 9/20/2013 11:57PM

    What a blessing you have coming - a new baby!

Try to remember that each pound, each inch, is going to make your baby THAT MUCH HEALTHIER. You know how to get rid of it after the baby is born. It will be ok. Breathe.

Congrats. Try to get out of your head and focus on the joy coming your way!


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THECRAZYMANGO 9/20/2013 5:13PM

    Laura, I am SOOOO proud of you! My advice is give the scale to Chad and not look at it until you have your newest pride of joy in your hands! Focus on eating healthy and staying active! And remember you didn't gain FAT but a CHILD. That weight is a CHILD inside you growing. What a wonderful thing!

If you are worried you wont lose the weight again... don't. I know easier said than done. But the truth is YOU can kick the weight again and you WILL. Do you know why? Because it is about living a healthy lifestyle with your family!

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CHEETARA79 9/20/2013 10:02AM

    Oh man, I am going through the exact same thing! In fact, our due dates might be similar. Mine is Valentine's Day so I'm at 19 weeks right now.

I've lost 60 pounds in the past few years. Now I'm pregnant for the first time and I've gained 18 pounds already! I'm trying to slow down the weight gain by tracking my food rigorously and getting plenty of exercise. But it sucks to not be able to wear my own clothes and I just feel like a big slug.

So I don't really have any words of wisdom for you. I just want you to know that you're not alone. I am also struggling with watching the scale tick back up to my NEVER AGAIN numbers and knowing I will probably give birth at 200 pounds.

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EG8383 9/20/2013 9:47AM

  congrats on baby number two. Honestly you don't have to gain all this weight that people talk about. I just had my first child Jan. of this year. As you can see I was already over weight. I totally was suppose to loose lots of weighe before getting pregnant but God had a different plan. lol I gain THIRTEEN lbs! I had a healthy 6 lb 11 oz baby boy! I did have gestational diabetes while pregnant and honestly thats what kept me in check. I had every 2 - 3 hours. I watched what I ate and my portion. I had to because I had to check my glucose FOUR times a day. It sucked but I knew I had to do it for my son. It was difficult. I cried gaining the 13 lbs, because I looked fat instead of pregnant, because I broke out, because my hips hurt, because nothing fit but I got over it. I started to feel the kicking and movement, I started to feel beautiful and pregnant, I accepted that I was nurturing a lil baby and I had the power to protect him and help him grow. You're beautiful. This is a blessing. Buy clothes that are cute and fit pregnant women. Let your hubby give you back, shoulder, and foot massages! Have your 8 year old son help your hubby build the baby nursery. If I could go back in time I'd enjoy my pregnancy more and not worry about the looks and what people say or think. Next time I get pregnant I'm going to try my best to do this. Best of luck!!!!!

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PENNYSAVER2 9/20/2013 9:40AM

    emoticon I hope you will have peace of mind soon. I hope your pregnancy goes well and that you give birth to a healthy baby.

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Thankful for my Spark Friends

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Just a shout-out to my awesome Spark friends. You've inspired me more than you know recently, during a time when I've needed you most. Thank you!!!
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  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

THECRAZYMANGO 7/21/2013 1:41PM

    Aren't they just emoticon????

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MOMMY2MADILYN 7/9/2013 8:37PM

    We are all here cheering each other on to success! emoticon

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BRADMILL2922 7/9/2013 4:08PM

    We can do anything together! SP friends are the best!

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SPARKFRAN514 7/9/2013 2:54PM

    emoticon as a team and are here for each other remember their is no I in Team
I "can" do it!
You"can" do it!
We all "can" do it!
Keep moving forward!
as a team

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Thank goodness for this week's little blessings

Thursday, May 30, 2013

I don't think it was one thing alone, but likely a combination of things, but this week, I've felt more like myself in a very long time. It's the first week in I don't know how long, that I've been staying within my calorie range CONSISTENTLY, and getting my fitness focus back up to where I like to keep it. I've felt my determination coming back slowly to keep those late afternoon snack attacks under control (ok, let's call them what they are, "gorging!") I've been incorporating mindful eating again too. I've been reading many Spark blogs in search of inspiration lately, and have had a lot of conversations with myself as well about why I've been falling off the wagon. That, with the fact that I've gained a few lbs! I think it is all a blessing in disguise! I'm starting to believe in myself again, and reminding myself that my food addiction takes work every day to keep under control. I'm thankful that these things are in the front of my mind again. I know that time and consistency will bring that scale back down, and I'm starting to enjoy that ride again!
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