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What didn't suck about that run

Sunday, June 22, 2014

That was a mentally and physically tough run. I really wanted to chuck it. But I got goals. I got dreams. Chucking my run wouldnít help me achieve either of those.
It was HUMID!
Way humid. My clothes were soaked after the first 10 mins. Thank goodness for anti-chaffing balm. My chest started hurting from the heaviness of the air.

Then my back strain began bothering me. Right in my waistline on the right side. I pulled it Thursday lifting weights. I thought it was better, but obviously it wasnít.
Then my path was flooded out.

Then my arches started aching.
Then my big toe started hurting.
Then my piriformis began to protest.
Then my stomach began to gurgle (I tried a new hydration drink that wasnít sitting well).
I could go on and on.
Sometimes running really sucks.
But you know what didnít suck?
~ The older gentleman I passed who was out walking who said, ĎYouíre tough! Wow, look at you go. Good job!í. He has no idea how much his words encouraged me and inspired me to keep going.
~ That despite the weather, despite the pain, despite the mental challenges - I KEPT RUNNING! I didnít quit.
~ The pride I felt in myself for sticking with my plan. The determination I exhibited.
~ That even though I had some aches, I have no real injuries to prevent me - I am physically able to run. I have a relatively healthy and strong body. emoticon

Thatís what didnít suck.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

-POLEDANCEGIRL- 6/26/2014 9:15AM

    That is awesome! He probably had no idea how much his words meant to you. But, they inspired you to keep pushing.

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BTLSMUM 6/26/2014 8:52AM

    Good for you! I just started running with my 17 yo son and I have to remind myself that it takes time to get better. Every run is a fight with my brain to keep going.

I am getting pretty sick of the river being flooded though. And, with the various projects they'll have continuing and new ones starting (the damn being removed) I don't think it's going to improve for another year or so.

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MARMAERT 6/22/2014 3:46PM

    Good for you! You kept going and I bet you felt much better about yourself for doing it!

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VISUALLYRICS 6/22/2014 9:36AM

    emoticon emoticon on sticking to it! LOVE those timely compliments!

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NUTRON3 6/22/2014 9:10AM

    emoticon emoticon

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Summer plan ~

Wednesday, June 11, 2014

As part of the BTS we need to write out our summer plan for fitness & nutrition. So hereís my plan Ö
Sciatic has been flaring up, my #1 goal is to not allow it to become debilitating

2. RUN - USAF Ĺ Marathon training
Would really love to run a 1:59 or less Ĺ in the fall

3. Core exercises -
Iíve got a weak core which is causing a lot of my sciatic issues.
* I will do my PT exercises at least 3xs a week - shooting for more, but trying to set a realistic/attainable goal
* Daily 30 sec+ plank & side planks - I can squeeze in 2 -3 mins of planks every day - no one is that busy

3. Lose Weight
My nutrition plan is: Keep to 1400 calories or less daily - eat the majority of those 1400 calories with whole/real foods, but Iím not gonna be hard core over the summer with this. I am gonna focus on the calorie count and do my best no matter what life throws at me. I have the power to chose whatever foods I want as long as its 1400 calories or less. Iíve got the power. Hopefully, I will make good choices more often than not.

4. Treat myself with kindness, forgiveness and mercy
I am my own worst enemy. I give myself some royal beatings. Ultimately, this only makes things worst. I will focus this summer on being my best cheerleader, my best friend, my best encourager.

I started the 100 Days of Weightloss book yesterday. The number one thing is to stick with the book and whichever program I choose for 100 days (even if it takes me more than 100 days).
I plan on taking the 15 - 20 mins each day to read the chapter & do the daily To Do List every day for the next 98 days. I think I will learn so much about how my emotions play into my overeating and what healthy steps to take in order to live without overeating to compensate for my feelings.

Iím not going to overextend myself with goals & aspirations that I wonít be able to meet. I want to live FREE this summer. I am focusing on just a few simple areas and giving them my all. Once Iíve got those areas under control I can add other goals.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FROSTIERACES 6/20/2014 10:03AM

    I really, really love this blog! You are so goal oriented.. and stick to what you have planned. I really admire that. I am always in awe of your quick running pace...WoW! Please let my legs carry me a little faster one of these days! You really inspire me to run more when I read your blogs. I love your words about having a relaxed summertime..treating yourself kindly. Having grace for myself is one of my most difficult tasks. I just love this blog! You're a great friend, such a strong beautiful soul! I hope you have a marvelously lovely weekend... Oh and more sunshine too! emoticon

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FITLIKENIC 6/11/2014 9:29PM

    You CAN do it! Great summer goals.

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JOYFULSPIRIT920 6/11/2014 9:27PM

    Haha!! Just realized I have 2 #3s haha!

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DRADDIE 6/11/2014 2:16PM

    Under two is my ULTIMATE goal!! Some day maybe. First, just going to try for 2:10 or under. Go Heather Go!!!

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PINKBEANBOO 6/11/2014 11:29AM

    Under 2:00!!!! That would be so awesome.

You've got a little structure for your summer but not so much that you can't be FREE. Doesn't that sound wonderful - a FREE summer.
Have fun! emoticon

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ARKPLE 6/11/2014 11:09AM

    I think you'll do really well, especially along with Linda Spangle. I think she is wonderful!

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BRAINBENTT 6/11/2014 11:05AM


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PRAIRIECROCUS 6/11/2014 10:58AM

    emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon

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Thursday, May 08, 2014

A couple of weeks ago, I heard someone say, ĎAt what weight are you free?í
What do you mean by free, I thought to myself.
ĎFree to be happy. Free to move as you want to move. Free to live as you want to live. Free from being consumed with thoughts of food, calorie counting, inhibition, worry, health issues, etcí.

They then went on to tell a story about a former Miss Kentucky. ( this is my paraphrase of the story )

(oh, and the purpose is not to get caught up in the numbers, but the feelings behind the numbers)

Ms Kentucky says, Iíve been a size 4 and all sizes in between to a size 14. My husband prefers me around a size 6. But, I canít be free at a size 4 or 6. All I think about is food. My every thought is consumed with what Iím eating, how much Iím eating, constantly counting calories in my head, always thinking Ďwhat will I eat nextí, always thinking about what Iím missing out on. Iím not free to live there.
Iím also not free at a size 14. At a 14 Iím consumed with my rolls, disguising them, hating them, checking out the other women in a room to see if Iím the largest. There isnít freedom there because Iím not happy. I am eating with abandon, and that isnít healthy. Its the opposite of me at a size 4 - but ultimately Iím still consumed with thoughts of me and food. I am happy at a size 10. I am proudly a size 10. I am happy, healthy, content with me at a size 10. I make good, healthy food choices. I allow myself treats in moderation, but they are not my focus.

Iíve been pondering this ever since... what is my FREEDOM WEIGHT?

At what weight am I, Heather, still making healthy choices about what I eat, but allowing myself to indulge in goodies with moderation. (cause man, I love me an occasional junk-food treat)

Where am I free - Not having a list of bad & good foods - not telling my hubby I canít go a particular restaurant - not eating bday cake at a party? I donít mean I want to be unhealthy or overweight - I donít mean indulging every day or overeating on a regular basis - but where can I live without being consumed with food and calories, good or bad.

Iíve whittled my way down from a size 14 to a size 2-4. I lived there for 3 years. EVERY moment of EVERY day all I thought about was food. Is it time to eat again, what will I eat, how much will I eat, can I eat that, no donít eat that - I loved being told I was Ďskinnyí - I hadnít heard those words directed at me since I was a kid. I felt good about my weight loss, but was I living a happy, fulfilling life? No. Not really. How can you truly enjoy life when you are consumed with thoughts of food. I was living in a total me-centric world. EVERYTHING for me revolved around food and losing weight.

Due to some injuries and emotional issues, Iíve put back A LOT of weight. Iím now fluctuating between a 6 and an 8 - more towards 8 as of recently. Again, everything became about food - comforting myself with food, living with abandon, gaining weight - Iím right back in that same spot --- my life has become about eating, calorie counting, obsessing, feeding, beating myself up for failing -- I donít want to live this way.

I think for me, Iíd be my most happy, contented self as a 6. I can live there. It means eating with moderation not abandoning. It means exercising without working-out 3xs a day, overdoing it and hurting myself. It means eating to live not living to eat. It means finding balance, joy and contentment. Working out without beating myself up emotionally for missing a workout. Allowing myself to recover when I have an injury instead of pushing myself too hard. I donít want FOOD, EXERCISE, COMPARISON to be the driving factors in how I live my life.

I want JOY! CONTENTMENT! FAMILY! FRIENDS! LOVE! LAUGHTER! to be what people remember about me, not - well, she was miserable but she was a size 2.

I donít have all the answers, but Iím working on what works for me.

Whatís your freedom weight? Where can you live a happy, fulfilling, contented, pleased-with-yourself life?

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FROSTIERACES 5/26/2014 8:40AM

    I love this blog! I definitely have a size that I feel free at...striving to get there again!!

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PINKBEANBOO 5/8/2014 9:30PM

    I think it's a 4 or a 6 for me, too. Although, it's been so long since I've been that size I don't really remember what it was like.

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ROBYN168 5/8/2014 9:18PM

    I don't have a clothes size that I can say I am free, but my body has had a number on the scale that it was "free" at. A number where I could exercise moderately and eat without guilt and stay plus/minus two pounds of that number on a constant basis. I lived at that number for 5 years....and never ever thought about what I was doing as long as I got some exercise and didn't go nuts eating.

I am not working on a new happy place, and hope I can find it.

Your thoughts are so dead on accurate.

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ARKPLE 5/8/2014 5:25PM

    I call this my happy weight. I'm not sure where it is right now, but being obsessed about food and weight 24/7 and being a total "me, me person" is not freedom. I totally agree with the feelings behind your blog. Thanks for helping me put on my thinking cap! And may joy, contentment, family, friends, love and laughter be yours. xo

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Beyond the Scale 1

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

I was sitting here beginning to write a blog about how disappointed I am with my results for round 1 of the BTS challenge. I maintained. I was two sentences in when I found myself ruminating on the words 'Beyond the Scale'. emoticon
Um, hello, Heather... this challenge was about making steps toward good health by focusing on areas OTHER than the scale, not that number that flashes at me in the mornings.
So... here's to focusing on the good while being aware of areas I still need improvement on. I have made strides toward reaching my healthy goals:

ē Gold medal - 60k steps or more - 6 outta 10 weeks Ė 60% emoticon
ē Silver medal Ė 40 Ė 59k steps Ė 4 outta 10 weeks Ė 40% emoticon
Reaching Silver medal status even on weeks when my sciatic was acting up and when suffering several winter viruses. (woo hoo)
ē No less than 30 mins of fitness 6 outta 7 days a week for all 10 weeks emoticon emoticon emoticon
ē Only missing my 5+ fruits/veggies 2 days outta the 10 weeks emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon emoticon
ē Learning more about my issues with stress eating and binging Ė the more I learn, the better equipped I become at making positive changes, recognizing my triggers and making steps to STOP!!
ē And I have made progress towards ending my negative self-talking ~ this is HUGE for me. emoticon emoticon emoticon

I am so thankful to my fellow Pink Pirates, for the support, laughter and encouragement but also for the motivation to keep on keeping on.
Iím looking forward to the 3 week break, I need to regroup and make some new goals. Iíll be ready to push hard in BTS2.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

FROSTIERACES 5/26/2014 8:44AM

    Good thoughts! Yes I am totally a ruminating negative self thought habit person. It's hard to break.. yet when I make a real conscious effort to think good things.. It makes a world of difference!

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DRADDIE 3/18/2014 10:43PM

    Yay- fabulous successes!!!!!!

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FITLIKENIC 3/18/2014 2:39PM

    emoticon So happy you SAW Beyond the SCALE! We are more than a number!

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VISUALLYRICS 3/18/2014 10:27AM


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Desire vs Decision

Tuesday, March 04, 2014

Been struggling with the dichotomy between my desires and my decisions.

My desires: (not all but a few)
*To be healthy
*To be strong
*To fit back into my size 4 pants
*To be happy with myself

My decisions:
*Workout 5-6 days a week
*Strive for 10,000 steps a day
*Eat healthy foods at work
* Eat unhealthy foods - binge - on unhealthy foods EVERY night

I sabotage my hard work every day. And I'm tired of it. I read this today from the Daniel Plan:
Everyone wants to be healthy, but very few people choose to be healthy. It takes more than desire or a dream to get healthy... it takes a decision. You won't change until you choose to change. You don't get healthy by accident. It's intentional. It's a choice. Actually, it's a lifetime of choices, but it begins with a decision.

Well, today, I made a decision to make healthy choices. I know I can't beat my unhealthy habits on willpower alone. I need God's help and the support of my family, friends and Spark buddies. I need to figure out the root cause(s) of my choices and work on those areas, the healthy habits will follow.
So here is my plea for support and encouragement... here is my first decision, my first choice.

  Member Comments About This Blog Post:

DRADDIE 3/4/2014 4:35PM

    Oh I am so right there with you! Sigh- why can't I just choose it all the time instead of letting other things dictate my choices in directions I do not want! Bah! *hugs to you*

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